Your Holiday Mom: Suzy

suzy holiday mom picTo my holiday child,

     There is always room in my home and heart for you. I don’t have much, but my parents (and by extension, your holiday grandparents) taught me that when you have it, you share it. There is a warm place here, even if it is an air mattress on my living room floor. Apartment living at its finest! And I hope you like dogs, as I have a chiweeni puppy. His name is Sam, and he will be so excited to see you! Unfortunately, we don’t have the classic white Christmas here in Arkansas, but I will pass on my Hungarian family traditions with you. We will make kolatch, a Hungarian sweet bread filled with a cinnamon raisin and walnut filling. And the rule in our house is when you cross the threshold, you’re family. I know holidays can be hard. I have been blessed with a very supportive family, and I know that is not always the case. But I know how important it is to support others in our LGBTQ family, and if I can brighten your day, my job is done.

Christmastime has always been my favorite time of year. I love decorating the tree, which is always a big deal in my house. You would get your own ornament for the tree, as all the kids in my family have one that is lovingly put in the perfect spot. The Nutcracker Ballet would be playing in the background, as that is one of my favorite traditions. And, since the ballet is coming to town, we would go see it if you like. Then we would eat the kolatch with a bit of cream cheese and drink mulled cider or wine. Wrapping presents is also one of my favorite things, but watch out, there will inevitably be a wrapping paper tube fencing match. Another tradition that has happened in my house for quite some time is that my grandmother and I usually watch Gone with the Wind on Christmas day. It is our favorite movie to watch together, and my Nana will tell you all about the time she saw it in theatres when she was a girl and wanted to be Scarlett O’Hara when she grew up. She would call you ‘dolly’ and ask if you have a ‘truly fair’ (which is my all time favorite term for significant other.) Also, as she is a Hungarian Nana, she would tell you to eat more and bundle up. I know that is important.

 We show love in many different ways. ‘Buckle up’, ‘call me when you get home’, ‘bundle up, it’s cold outside’ are all little ways to show you care. And as people, we need that.  The holidays are supposed to be a time of love and family, and now you have that in me and mine. I have no children (yet), but I love ‘adopting’ new friends and family. If you ever need to talk, I am here for you. I came out  two years ago, at age 24, and was accepted with open arms by my family, and now I am paying it forward and accepting you with open arms. Know this, my friend: That you will always have a sounding board, a shoulder to cry on, and someone who will snot-laugh with you at the funniest things. You have a home here, and a loving family that will accept you no matter what.

There is a gift under my tree for you, my dearest friend, and warm blanket and a warm puppy to keep you company.  We are all connected, we are all family, and I am glad that you are a part of mine.

All my love,

Your Holiday Mom Suzy


  1. Linnie says:

    I honestly started crying when I read this. My mother supports the LGBTQA+ community, but she has always been a little offput with the fact that I am pansexual. Half my family doesn’t even know. Truly, I would love to be able to visit you Holiday Mommy. No other person has seemed so open and loving, and I would love to experience that. Thank you for making my life just a bit better by knowing you exist. Love, your holiday child. <3

  2. Cat says:

    I’m once again in tears due to these letters. I wanted to thank you Suzy, for accepting me into your life without hesitation. I’m so happy I found this site during this holiday season. I am so thankful to feel loved, even if its from holiday moms, and dads, on the interwebs! I appreciate this loads! Thank you <3

  3. Lainey says:

    Your letter was the first one I read on this website. I literally started crying I was so happy to find something like this website; it made me remember that not all of the world is bad, not even everyone in my state ( arkansas ) obviously. I’ve only just recently come out as queer and my life has been a living hell since I did. Finding this place has made me feel okay about being pan. Thank you so much 🙂

    • Helen says:

      My heart goes out to you darling! You deserve so much better, all love is valid and all life is valid. I hope you still have a good holiday season, even when people around you lose their common sense and start acting like assholes! You absolutely deserve it.
      Lots of love,
      Helen from the Netherlands

  4. Kayla says:

    Your post made me seriously tear up! It made my day. I wish you could be a part of my family rather than just my holiday family. You seem like an amazing person and I was touched by your post. 🙂

  5. Keidis says:

    Your post made my whole day. I would love to just meet you because you seem like such a nice person.
    And I love dogs XD

    I can’t move in cause I have a great family but you’d be a fantastic friend and a wonderful person to help someone in need.

  6. Suzy says:

    Nix- I know it can be hard during the holidays, especially with parents that don’t understand. Know that you will always have love and support along the way.

    Marissa- but for real tho. My Nana is da bomb diggity.

  7. Nix says:

    Your letter made me smile greatly. I’m a demigender pansexual and my parents are extremely religious. I came out to them last year and they offered Counciling. They treat being more attracted to girls as a problem that needs fixed. I’m so glad this blog exists because it gives me the strength to go home-nix

  8. Marissa Richardson says:

    Suzy your letter is so touching. Also for readers of this website this is accurate. Suzy’s Nana is the coolest.

    • Suzy says:

      I’m glad I could help. I know a lot of parents see their LGBTQ children as something that needs to be ‘fixed’. Know that you are not, and that you have support on your journey.

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