Your Holiday Mom: Miller

millerDear Holiday Child,

First of all, Happy Holidays! How are you? Are you eating? Are you hydrating? Are you resting enough? Are you bundling up? We mothers worry about these things, often to a fault. (Remember that scene in A Christmas Story where the mom wraps Randy up so tight he can’t put his arms down…yeah. Been there, done that!)

We’re all very excited around here for the holidays. Lydon, your four-year-old Holiday Brother, has really just gotten into the whole thing with a little help from a mischievous Elf on the Shelf named Cinnamon. It’s very fun watching him discover the magic of Christmas every morning, searching the house before school to find what Cinnamon has gotten up to during the night. Seeing him get so excited about the holidays takes me back to a time when everything around this time of year was magical, every puff of breath that floated up on chilled air was delightful, every wreath and tree was cause for celebration, and every day was marked off on the calendar with a precise red ‘X’. Lydon brings that out in me though. He’s the most amazing thing that’s ever happened to me, the most precious gift I’ve ever received. But don’t worry, my sweet Holiday Child, there’s plenty of love to go around here. In fact, there’s so much extra just hanging around every day, we’ve decided to use some of it up and adopt a puppy this holiday season. We’ve been considering it for a while now, and whether it was the spirit of the season or the spirit of a mischievous Elf, something made us decide this was the year. Lydon doesn’t know yet, so keep it a secret, alright? Just between you and me, alright?

We’ve not yet decorated our house this season, so there’s plenty of work to do! And there’s a fireplace in our new house! A real, honest to goodness fireplace where we can hang all the stockings and Santa can come down the chimney–oh, remind me, we might ought to have that cleaned before the Jolly Elf pays his visit. I hear soot is very difficult to get out of red velvet and fur. I suppose I should just warn you now, your dear Holiday Mom has gone a bit cross-stitch crazy this season. Everyone and their brother is getting a cross-stitched something or other. But, since you are my favorite Holiday Child, I’ll let you decide if you’d prefer baked goods or not. Cookies and chocolate covered peanut butter balls? Yep. It’s official. You and me were meant to be Holiday Family, kid. Stick with me and I’ll keep you in cookies until February.

I’ve managed to dust off the stockings and there’s one with your name on it to go up on the mantle. It’s cross-stitched. I told you, cross-stitch crazy. I didn’t know if you’d like the one with the snowmen or the reindeer, so I compromised and went with Snoopy. Who doesn’t love Snoopy, right? That reminds me, I need to get out all of the Christmas movies for our annual marathon. National Lampoons, Charlie Brown, the classic clay-mation cartoons, and yes, Grumpy Old Men. It’s a Christmas movie, I tell ya! A classic, at that! After the marathon, there’s the traditional opening of one present from under the tree on Christmas Eve. This year we might have to open all but Santa’s on Christmas Eve though. Jason, your Holiday Dad, has to work on Christmas Day. He’s disappointed that he won’t get to spend the morning opening gifts with you and Lydon, but even on holidays, people call for an ambulance. Actually…especially on holidays the call for an ambulance. You wouldn’t believe some of the stories he brings home. But I’ll let him tell you.

It’s been a long year this time around. For everyone it seems. Our family endured its share of set backs and sad times, and it pains me to know that you have as well. But let me tell you, your Holiday Mom sure didn’t raise a quitter. I know you’ve got the strength to keep going, no matter how much you might want to just give up the fight. Know that in those moments, I’ll be there with you, for you. That’s what Holiday Family is for, my sweet. Remember that. Know that. Live that. Even if we just get to speak during the holiday season, I am always thinking about you. I am always rooting for you, in your corner. I know you’re probably “too cool for hugs” now, but I have one for you anyway. Humor your Holiday Mother.

I’ll tell you what I tell Lydon every day: I love you, Holiday Child, to the moon and past the stars and through the milky way and beyond, I love you. You matter, you exist, you are important to me, to us. You are not alone, not even if you feel alone. See, you’re stuck with us now, Holiday Child. Stuck with our love, our support, our acceptance, our unwavering belief in you. You’re stuck with us, and we’re stuck with you, all year long. We won’t just think of you on holidays, but every day. We won’t just love you on Christmas, but all year long. You’re my Holiday Child, and you are loved.

Now, remember to stay warm or face being bundled up by Holiday Mom. And remember to eat when you can, stay hydrated, and stay strong. Remember to care for yourself, to love yourself as much as I love you. I know you’re busy, so give your Holiday Mom and big squdge before heading off, okay?

I love you Holiday Child.


Miller, Your Holiday Mom


  1. Wenxin says:

    Hey mom.
    Thank you for adopting me as your holiday child. It’s been a long time since I’ve felt loved. Everyday I have to deal with my mom saying the LGBTs will go to hell and everything…while I stare blankly and pray she doesn’t find out…I know she’ll kick me out the house. It never felt like she wanted me around. Thank you for letting me stay (virtually). I wish we could hang out more.


  2. Anna Campbell says:

    I’m am so glad I saw this. Even though I was brought to tears, I finally felt loved. My mom, a Christian transphobic republican, constantly tells me that the lgbt community will go to hell, and well you can imagine the size of her heart (not very big). I am an agender, Panromatic asexual kid and currently have a beautiful datemate. I just wish I could bring them to holiday dinners but…. My mom is one to hit so I clearly wouldn’t. Overall, thank you for this post. I really needed it. And I definitely wish you were my real mother.

  3. Amy Beth says:

    I heard about this site from a friend and i’m really glad i found it, most of my family don’t know of my gender orientation or sexuality and i’m extremely scared of telling them as when i told my dad that i was bisexual, he started out fine with it but when i came to him with the revelation that i was also gender-less, he started arguing with me more and when any of the select few of my friends that knew pulled him up for using female pronouns instead of neutral pronouns he would kick off saying i was confused and that i would always be his daughter and that he could barely handle the shame of my being bisexual let alone being gender-less as well and that he felt embarrassed to take me anywhere especially since i shaved half of my hair and started committing to wearing unisex clothing or at least baggy women’s clothing to hide my figure, he has even tried to force me to buy a tighter fitting winter coat when i picked up one that was slightly baggy on me that i was comfortable with, reading your lettered made me feel accepted and warm whereas with my dad around the Christmas season its normally quite barren, if i didn’t put the decorations up there wouldn’t be any and when we go over to my nana’s i’m not allowed to talk much because my dad sees me as an embarrassment, so i constantly have to hide behind a fake smile, and my mum, she hasn’t spoken to me since i told her over the phone that i was bi sexual(my parents are divorced), i am really glad i found you momma miller,

    Love Your British Holiday Child,
    Amy Beth x

  4. Seth says:

    Hi mom, I know I’m a little late for this.. almost a year too late. Its Thanksgiving today, and my biological family isn’t the best.. I try to stay hidden in my room most the time to avoid them but it doesn’t always work.
    Lately has been really hard, I know I can’t be only one of your holiday sons who are struggling, and it makes me sad to see how many there are. I did cry when I read your letter, it’s been five years since I came out, and five years since I last felt anything like that. I’m 16 now, and it’s nothing like I thought it’d be. Full of heart break, pain, and sadness honestly. I found someone who seems like they care, and I trust that he does, so I’m not completely alone. I don’t know where I was going with this.
    I thought you should know, even though this is a Christmas letter from last year, it made me so happy to feel loved by a mom again. I really hope you return this year…

    Love your holiday son,

  5. Tyler Vazquez says:

    Hi mom,

    its Tyler. im a fifteen year old ftm pre everything and struggling pretty bad. this letter really helped me and im so glad i found you. i cried so much while reading this, simply because you understand and my biological mother, shes convinced im just a lesbian and it hurts that she doesn’t understand and i dont really know how to make her understand that this is who i truly am and so i struggle, not only for my troubles but for all the people who dont understand. everyone has a safe place in their lives and this is mine. thank you for your ove and support.

    Your Adoptive Holiday Son, Tyler.

  6. M says:

    I am closeted from family but … I have been out before, and it wasn’t pleasant. I don’t spend holidays with family any more for many reasons, a lack of acceptance is one. I found this project from a Facebook post and thought hey, at 32, maybe I can write a letter… Didn’t realize I’d have tears rolling down my cheeks as I read them. Thank you for this holiday mom. Thank you.

  7. Ali says:

    Hi Holiday Momma Miller! I’m happy to be your new holiday daughter!

    Im Ali,

    Im bi but prefer a gender more the the other…

    I love your letter by the way Mom!

  8. Jayden says:

    Hi, my name is Jayden, Im transgender (ftm) and this website really helps a lot. My real mother still wont use the proper pronouns or name, so its pretty hard around the holidays, feeling really rejected. But It feels good to see so many moms who are accepting.
    I love you
    Love, Jay

  9. Alex says:

    I just found this site and it is amazing. I’m transgender (ftm) and my family doesn’t accept me, its not only hard on holidays but everyday it’s hard. My dad is trying to understand which is good but my mom won’t even try to listen to me when I talk about how hard it is to feel trapped in the wrong body. So this year I decided that I’d check out this website and I love it. I’ll be here for Christmas! 🙂

  10. Andy says:

    Hi my names Andy and im a trans guy. Christmas this year is probably not going to be the best because of all the dressing up and im nt out to the wider family so im gonna be a lil dysphoric but this really helped. As somebody whos family doesn’t really accept him, this is so lovely. And i struggle a lot with my sexuality bc my parents think im straight bc im gay and this is just really lovely and wonderful and validating and yes thank you very much x

  11. anders says:

    i just remembered this website existed and i really really needed to read something like this. im crying really hard thanks for being such a nice human being and you’re so lovely.

    • Miller says:

      Hi Anders! I’m so glad you remembered the site! I can’t speak for all of the Holiday Moms out there, but I know for me, I keep track of all of the comments left and try to get back to each and every one. Always remember that I’m here for you, Holiday or not, and that you’re cared for. <3 Miller

      • Avery Victoria says:

        Hi holiday mom ! I recently just found this amazing website and I came across your letter to your holiday children ! I honestly didn’t believe there was people like you out there … I’m Avery and I’m 16 years old , still in high school . I’ve been lesbian my whole life and your message brought me to tears . After I told my mom about my sexuality in 2009 , I wasn’t “allowed ” to go to Christmas or any type of holiday Family gatherings , because she’s embarrassed of my sexuality to the rest of the family . I struggle with depression and schizophrenia And other illnesses but honestly I’m just really happy I came across this site ! I’ve been having such a bad year so far and this really helped me through … Thank you !

  12. Rachel says:

    Hello! I’m Rachel, a college student who’s struggling with my identity at the moment (I haven’t known a lot about the gender spectrum until now and think i’m gender queer). I just want to thank you for your wonderful letter. Yours made me feel like I really was in a warm and loving home for the holidays–something I never had. My mom really does not support my gender identity at the moment but just knowing someone like you is there to support and care for me is one of the best feelings ever. Thank you so much for writing to all of us! It really is one of the things keeping me going.


    • Miller says:

      My dear sweet Rachel, I hope you find yourself in the coming year and the struggle with your identity is peacefully resolved. Your gender identity shouldn’t have to cause you stress, but should bring you joy! If the journey to find yourself and your gender identity seems to get too stressful, then take a break. Take a bath. Use bubbles or get a scrub. Slough off dead skin cells, shed your skin. Or if baths aren’t your thing, take a walk. Find a path you never saw before. Walk down it and look for late-season flowers. Find some and smell them. Or lie on your back in your own front yard and look up at the clouds. Compare the shapes to things you know. Is that a clover? Is that a narwhal? Is that a castle? Is that Optimus Prime? Just take a breath. Becoming who you are meant to be is a long process, but it doesn’t have to be so hard on you. Remember to breathe, in and out. Remember that whoever you find that you are, I will love you. Remember I’m cheering for you. Always.
      <3 Your Holiday Mom,

  13. Theo says:

    I’ve been tearing up since I found your letter and all of your comments to my Holiday Siblings. I really needed these loving words and this feeling that someone really cares about me- even though you don’t even know me.

    Holidays are always tough when you have a family that doesn’t love you for who you are, but instead for how their idea of you is. It’s tough, and sometimes I just want to quit.

    Thank you so much for letting me know that there are people out there that care for me and love me for who I am even if they are total strangers.

    With love and lots of hugs,
    Your Holiday Son,

    • Miller says:

      Theo, my precious Holiday Son! You are SO SO SOOO loved. Please remember that, whenever you feel like quitting. Remember that my heart is full of love for you. Remember that there will always be a place on my shoulder for you to rest your head. Remember that my ears will always be tuned to listen to your sorrows and your triumphs, your tears and your laughter. Remember. I’m here. For you and all of your Holiday Siblings. As often as I can be.
      <3 ALWAYS Your Holiday Mom,

  14. Storm says:

    Dear Ms Miller,

    My name is Storm and I’m a 17-year-old asexual bigender person with an autism spectrum disability. I really loved your letter because of how affectionate and simply VALIDATING it was. The validation was especially important because when I first came out to my parents (who are usually quite wonderful and loving) as asexual, they looked me in the eye and told me that I’m not (even pointing out my disability and saying that it was why I hadn’t found anybody to be attractive “yet”). Suffice to say, after figuring out why I was feeling insecure with my assigned gender, I didn’t tell them about it.

    Reading this made me feel happier than I’ve felt in a while and so much better about my identity. Hearing about Lydon and the new puppy really made me feel like I was a part of your family during Christmas, even though I didn’t know about this website until today. Thank you for making me feel like I fit in, Holiday Mom. Thank you for making me feel valid.

    With love,
    Your Holiday Son/Daughter Storm

    • Miller says:

      Oh sweet Storm, I’m so happy to hear from you. It hurts me to hear that your parents blamed your autism spectrum disability on your sexuality, or lack thereof. All I can say is I’m so sorry and offer you all of the hugs in the world. It’s always been my opinion that what happens or doesn’t happen in other people’s bedrooms, as long as it’s legal and consensual, is no one else’s business. I’m so glad my letter made you feel like you were there with us! I have to say, we’re all very excited about Wendy (that’s our puppy’s name) and she has just filled us with even more love than we had before. So, there’s an excess of love at our place if you ever need any of that and many more letters if you need that too.
      <3 Your Holiday Mom,

  15. Ashley says:

    Hi I’m Ashley. I’m 13 years old and bisexual. My mom I think has a hint. But my family is in the church of jesus christ of latter day saints. Which that church is really accepting but I asked my mom what she would say if I just dated a girl sometime. She told me “Well I don’t see the need. There’s perfectly good guys out there. I wouldn’t support what you did. I couldn’t” I know she loves me with all she has but I’m afraid to come out to her. My best friend and people on Tumblr only know I’m bi. And sometimes I feel like being bi isn’t enough. And I’ve been told it’s not as hard coming out bi. Well maybe so. Anyways. I really liked your letter. It made me smile for the first time in a long time. Love you <3

    • Miller says:

      Hi Ashley! I’m so happy my letter made you smile. I wish I could give you some sort of solid advice for your situation, but I honestly can’t think of what I would do in your situation. All I know is that I want you to the HAPPY. If coming out to your family is what is going to make you happy, then you’ll find the strength that you need to be able to do that. I’m sorry your mom feels that way about your dating. Of course there are plenty of nice guys out there, but there are just as many nice girls as well, and maybe you’ll fall in love with one of them instead. I just want YOU to be happy, my dear Holiday Child, because I love you and care about you and your life.
      <3 Your Holiday Mom,

  16. Nicholas says:

    Hi, I’m Nicholas. I’m a 16 year old trans boy. I’d just like to thank you for how much your little letter meant to me. I started reading and I felt like I actually had a loving supporting mother. It made a world of difference for me. Within the first few words I eas bawling with how happy and sad I was. Thank you again for being the supportive mother I need.

    • Miller says:

      Hello Nicholas! I’m so glad you found my letter, because that means I have now found you, my wonderful Holliday Son! I will be the supportive mother you need as long as you need me, and probably longer than that, because let’s face it, us mamas aren’t the best at letting our babies go. If you need a shoulder, remember that I’m here for you and that you are very loved. Just read my letter or leave a little comment and know that I’ll get back to you as soon as I am able. Remember your old Holiday Mom loves you, kiddo.

  17. Gi says:

    Hi, my name is Gisselle and I’m a 22 year old girl from Mexico. I just discovered this website and yours is the first letter I read. I like girls and my mom knows that and accepts me. But I would love to tell the rest of my family what I really am. I hate when they tell me “do you have a boyfriend?”, “you have to find the right men….”. It annoys me that society assume that everyone is straight. Im happy to tell you I finally got my hair cut the way I wanted, I’m dressing how I want to, I’m really happy about how I look, I’m happy with who I am and what I like. After years of having low self esteem, depression and anxiety. I’m learning my worth. I’m loving life. Hopefully i’ll read you again next year, when I could tell you that I brought my first girlfriend over for Christmas dinner, with my family. That’d make so happy! Thank you for the kind words. And I’m always up for hugs so receive a big bear hug from Sonora, México.

    Your Holiday Doughter Gi

    • Miller says:

      Hello Gi, my wonderful Holiday Daughter! Oh, I can’t tell you how happy this reply makes me! I am thrilled that your mom has accepted you for who you are, but I’m even MORE thrilled that you get to present yourself the way you are comfortable with! My eyes are filled with tears of joy! I hope to write next year as well and it would give me such great joy to hear from you again, to hear that your entire family knows the real you and they accept you unconditionally and that they get to meet your girlfriend. Ugh! *wipes eyes* I’m okay, I promise, just so very happy for you, my Holiday Daughter. Remember I love you!
      <3 Your Holiday Mom,

  18. Jake says:

    Hey! I’m Jake and i’m a 13-year-old asexual, panromantic transguy. That’s a lot of things, yeah, but i’m proud of it, even if my family isn’t. Thanks for writing this letter, albeit the holidays are almost over. I won’t lie, I did tear up reading this; i’m really happy that there are accepting people out there actually willing to do things like this. Thanks for making me feel like I have an accepting family for the holidays, minus seeing eachother in person. So, yeah, thank you!

    • Miller says:

      Hi Jake! Don’t feel the need to clarify or apologize for how many labels you decide you have. Your sexuality and your gender and your LIFE are just that, YOURS. And as your mama, I accept every single part of you and I am proud of you. I’m so happy you found this, even after the hustle and bustle of the holiday season, and that it meant something to you. You will always be accepted by me and your Holiday Family, ALWAYS. Remember you are loved, even though it’s from a far, and that if you need to be my Holiday Son more than just during the Holidays, pull this letter up and leave me a little message. I’ll make sure to check it frequently and to get back to you.
      With Love, Your Holiday Mom,

  19. Lee says:

    Dear Miller (and company)

    Thank you so much. This letter saved my holiday season, and got me out of a really bad place tonight.
    For a pre-everything trans guy living in an unsupportive and abusive home, this is the best thing I could have ever found for the holidays. I don’t think I’ve cried this hard in a while, but they weren’t sad tears at all.

    Hope you all have a wonderful and happy New Year, and thank you so much again.

    Your (very happy) Holiday son, Lee.

    PS: Have you ever heard of Magic Cookie Bars? They’re super delicious. <3

    • Miller says:

      Hi Lee! We (Lydon, Jason, the new puppy–Wendy–and I) are all very happy you found this letter and it helped you! I’m sorry your home life is not what it should be. That makes my fierce mama heart want to break for you and fight for you. I’m kind of surprised at how much I feel like all of you wonderful commenters really are MY babies. If I could just scoop you all up and huge you (if you’re huggers), I would. (And let’s face it, then I’d probably feed you all until you couldn’t walk without wobbling.) Because you are my Children, all of you. And I love you. I hope that you have someone who will listen to you and support you, but if you don’t, know that I’m here. And no, I haven’t heard of Magic Cookie Bars, I must investigate immediately! Thank you, my wonderful Holiday Son!
      <3 Your Holiday Mom,

  20. Summer says:

    I found this site today and I’m so happy. This is the first letter I read and it literally made me cry. It’s so great and personal and it feels like you really do care. And I need that because I don’t even care about myself most of the time. Thank you for this, thank you for being here, thank you for being a holiday mom, thank you for everything okay? I love you.

    • Miller says:

      Oh Summer honey, it FEELS like I really do care, because I DO. I do care about you, and all of my other little (or big) Holiday Babies. I know it’s hard to care about yourself sometimes, believe me. I’ve been there. That’s why I have so much more love to give now. Because of all of the time I didn’t love myself, it was storing up inside so that I could share it with someone like you, who’s going through the same thing. I LOVE YOU, KIDDO. Don’t forget it. Ever. Whenever you need to feel cared for, just read my letter again and you’ll know, even if you don’t feel it, you’ll KNOW that it’s true. Keep going, Summer. Keep living, even when it’s difficult. Keep going because, let me tell you sweetie, the day that you win, that day you succeed and you feel like all of the hardships are over, saying “I DID IT” is the most phenomenal moment ever. I’ll keep checking these comments to hear from you if you need me to. Because like I said, you’re stuck with me.
      <3 Your Holiday Mom,

  21. Lauren says:

    I love you, Holiday Mom. Not just because you use words like “oodles” or reference A Christmas Story or believe that Grumpy Old Men is a holiday film. You are a blessing. *oodles of hugs for my holiday mommy*

    Thank you from the deepest depths of the oceans to the farthest reaches of the galaxy. Thank you. This is the only time I have thanked someone for making me cry. Thank you.

    Your Holiday Daughter,

    • Miller says:

      Golly, sweetheart, what a beautiful thank you. But I have to disagree Lauren, YOU are a blessing. Remember that, my lovely Holiday Daughter, and know that there’s always a shoulder here for those tears, whether they’re happy or sad or somewhere in between. I care about you, my fantastic Holiday Daughter.
      <3 Your Holiday Mom,

  22. Ashley says:

    I’m seventeen, pansexual and genderqueer, and it means so much to read this I almost cried. Thank you so much Holiday Mom


    • Miller says:

      I’m glad to be able to help Ashley! Remember you are loved and cared for, Holiday Child!
      XOXO Your Holiday Mom,

  23. Lola says:

    Your letter is really, really beautiful. I’m gay, but that’s not hurting me as much as some other mental stuff this year that my family just doesn’t get. I just wanted to say that you’re doing a really lovely thing, and I know I needed this site these holidays, i need a mom who will tell me it’s going to be okay, who won’t be mad that I can’t always get into the holiday spirit and won’t make me feel guilty for not being able to feed myself or get out of bed some days. Thanks for being around.

    • Miller says:

      Anytime, Lola love. I hope in the coming year your family will be able to understand what is hurting you and possibly strive to help you however you need/want to be helped. Whenever you need it, this letter will be here, and I will check back frequently to check for comments from you and any of my other Holiday Children. Stay strong my wonderful Holiday Kiddo. You’re loved.
      <3 Your Holiday Mom,

  24. Mackenzie says:

    Hello! I’m Mackenzie. I’m 16 and a lesbian. My girlfriend and me were on Tumblr when we found this website a little while ago. When I pulled it up and read your letter I seriously started to bawl my eyes out. This is the most wonderful thing I’ve seen.
    Thank you for this. This made me feel so much better. I’ve had such a crappy year and this has made me smile for once. Thank you so much.

    Also I have a 9 year brother who has an elf too! He named his marshmallow and just this year Marshmellow found a pet reindeer, which my brother decided to call Eevee. ^_^

    Once again thank you for this.

    • Miller says:

      Hi Mackenzie! I’m glad you found my letter and that it made you smile! I hope the coming year is a marvelous one for you and your girlfriend and all those that love you! Have a Happy New Year and stay safe tonight and every night!
      <3 Your Holiday Mom,

  25. Charlee says:

    Hi, I’m Charlee. I’m 14 years young and I’m Bisexual. I know the holidays are nearly over but I have literally just found this website and just found you and this letter has made me so happy. I’m smiling so much, I cannot tell you. Thank you for making me feel as if I belong in a family who DOES support and love me for who I am. I feel as if I can finally start to accept myself knowing that somebody understands and accepts me for who I am.
    Thank you so much.
    Love from Your Holiday Child,
    Charlee x

    • Miller says:

      Hello Charlee! I’m so glad you found this wonderful site and that my letter has helped you, even a tiny bit! I want you to know that you are most definitely accepted by your holiday family. What’s more, you said you accept yourself, and that’s the greatest gift ever. I haven’t ever struggled with my sexual identity, but things like body issues and body positivity have always plagued me until I just realized that I am FABULOUS and my body is PERFECT no matter what anyone says. So I want you to remember that about yourself. You are fabulous and perfect to ME and to YOURSELF no matter what anyone else says. Forever and always!
      With OODLES of love,
      Your Holiday Mom

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