Your Holiday Mom: Karma

karmaTo My Dear  Holiday Child,

I wanted to let you know how proud I am of you.  It is not an easy to tell your family your sexual orientation.  I am so sorry to hear that your family doesn’t accept you for who you are.  They should be proud of you for knowing who you are.

When I was a teenager, my neighbours were lesbians.  A lot of my friends would comment on how it was against their religion but my family always taught me that it didn’t matter what your skin colour was or your sexual orientation all that mattered was what kind of person you were inside.  I was very impressionable at that age and I became further and further indoctrinated by their religion.  I began to question my family’s beliefs.  My neighbours were out gardening and they asked me if I would like to help them.  We spent six hours together talking and gardening.  I saw that they were people too and that it didn’t matter who they loved they were good people.  That’s all that mattered.  After that day I began to question the church.  Church leaders couldn’t come up with answers for me.  They couldn’t give me a good reason as to why their god wouldn’t love everyone and wouldn’t judge.   At that point it was clear I had to be who I am.  I can’t change how I feel and what they believed differed from what I believed.  You should never feel that you have to change who you are because it differs from others. 

All members of my immediate family are strong advocates for the LGBTQ community.  My dad was a high school teacher and saw a lot of students being bullied because they were ‘gay.’  He is now an author and his main character is ‘gay.’  He wanted to show how we are all people who just want to be loved and accepted.

My own children are four and six.  They have asked us on numerous occasions if two girls or two boys can kiss.  We always reply, “of course they can.  It doesn’t matter.”  These are our beliefs and I want my children to grow up being accepting of all people.  I want you to know that there are families out there who accept you and who welcome you with loving arms.  You are not alone.

Christmas Eve would start with a day at the slopes snowboarding.  In the evening we would each open one gift.  My kids would put out home made Star Wars shortbread cookies for Santa and a glass of milk.  Then we would head outside with little bags full of oats and sparkly glitter so the reindeer could see where our house was and have a little snack while they are waiting for Santa.

Christmas morning would start bright and early and the smell of cinnamon buns would spread through the house.  Our children would open their gifts and stockings.  They would head to the table to see Santa’s letter he left them.  We would play new board games received and enjoy a huge breakfast of scrambled eggs, pancakes and fresh fruit.  If you were to come to my house, my parent’s house or my brother’s house for Christmas dinner, you would smell the turkey roasting in the oven.  There would be roast potatoes, bacon wrapped sausages, fresh bread and many desserts to choose from.  Presents would be opened, coffee would be brewed and conversation would go on from the time you walked in through the door till the time you left.  After dinner, we would head to the local ice rink or take the dog for a walk to wear off some of the food. During this holiday season please know that we will be thinking about you and know that you are loved, valued and appreciated.

 With love,

 Your holiday mom & family

2 comments

  1. Karma says:

    Vandhna,

    We set a seat at our table for you today. I’m so grateful you came across this site and you are finding comfort from the letters. I’m so sorry that your dad is treating you that way. I’m hopeful that your mom and sister will come around and make you feel accepted. I’m proud of you for being yourself and for knowing who you are. I hope you have a nice time wherever you are travelling to.
    Love,
    Karma

  2. Vandhna Deep says:

    Thank you so much for this letter. I spent Christmas at an airport with my mother and my sister. They have tried their very best to understand me, but I still feel deep down that they will never fully know who I am and why I am a lesbian. The worst is my father who does not accept me at all. He doesn’t talk directly to me anymore. He talks to me through my sister. Telling her to tell me things. At times, I feel completely alone in the world, but the letters which you and the other mothers have posted have made these holidays a little less brutal. Thank you so much.

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