I am so happy to welcome you to my home for the holidays! My husband and I do not have children of our own, so we are honoured that you would be with us at this special time of year, thank you for giving us this gift. There are no secrets here, no shame, no hiding who we truly are at the core. You can be every bit of your beautiful self. You can talk about yourself, your hopes and dreams, your fears, your difficulties, your triumphs, your questions. We want to hear it all, as much as you care to share. Do you have a friend or a partner that you cannot share with your family? Please feel free to bring someone who is special to you, you both will be our honoured guests.
We have our Christmas tree set up in the living room (a real tree, of course!) and all of the ornaments are hung. We do have two large dogs though, so the bottom three feet of the tree have only unbreakable ornaments, as those tails have sent more than one ball flying across the room! Do you like dogs? Our dogs Zoey and Koda will love you, every single ounce of you. Isn’t that the magic of animals…they have no judgement, they just love and want to be loved.
My sisters and their families will be joining us for dinner, so I might need your help in the kitchen, if that’s ok? We will cook a giant turkey, so that we have leftovers for days. I have a special recipe for sausage stuffing, which is always a hit and makes the house smell divine, and also a pineapple casserole which is so tasty that my husband says it is more like dessert. I’ll get you to help me set the table, and we can use the good dishes (even though we’ll have to wash them by hand later). You can set the table however you want, just make sure there is room for two families of four, and our little family of three, plus your friend. It will be tough to fit twelve people around the table, but we can do it!
The holidays can be a tough time of year for lots of folks. I like to think of it as a time of reflection and renewal. I look back on the year that is nearly over and think about the hills and valleys I encountered, as well as looking forward to the new year and the fresh start that it brings. As a gender or romantic minority, you have probably encountered many valleys this year. I can only imagine how difficult it is to not be able to share your truth with your family, and to not be accepted for this truth. Please know that I accept and honour your truth, and I would be so very proud to be your mom. I encourage you not to alienate your family, but to also look to others to be additional family members. Your greatest allies may be in the form of friends, partners, mentors…let them fill your soul with the love and understanding that you may not find at home. Expand your definition of family so that you too will have a family that you can count on, that will nourish you in times of defeat, that will celebrate you in times of glory.
I will be thinking of you this holiday season, dear child. I will be wrapping my arms around you and giving you a safe space. I will be talking to you and listening to you, and also giving you moments of sweet silence, where you can just be. I will think of you as the gift that you are and I will hope for you to see yourself as such.
With much love,