Your Holiday Mom: Heather

HEATHER HUDSON PICWinter with DogsMy Dear Holiday Child

I feel so blessed this year to have you with me to share our Christmas holiday. You are my first child – my first holiday child, I have been waiting for you for a very long time. I have so much to tell you, and so much love in my heart for you, I don’t know even where to start.
You are so beautiful. So perfect and wonderful. You are a beautiful unique shining light in my world. Thank you for sharing our Christmas with us. It makes it more special because you are here, .

The house is decorated. Paul always goes all out on the outside – there are lights, and lighted statues, and wreaths on almost every inch of the yard. This year he bought an antique lighted Santa at a yard sale. It is kitschy and cute, and has a place in the centre of the yard. Sometimes I expect him to bring home a leg lamp like the one from A Christmas Story – yes – he is that kind of guy!   I love to do the inside decorating. I have some decorations from when I was a child, and then every year I like to add one special piece to add to the house. One of my favourites is the fibre optic Santa, that sits in the dining room. I hope you like it too. It lights up in all colours of the rainbow. It the perfect Santa for this house – our Santa and our family welcomes all colours of the rainbow here. You are welcomed, loved and safe here.

Paul and I have a fabulous dinner prepared for you and any of your friends you bring. He will take care of the turkey. I love vegetables. All kinds of vegetables. We will have yams, and Brussel sprouts (I promise they are amazing when cooked with bacon!), carrots, and a big salad. I can’t eat any gluten, but there will be traditional stuffing for you. When I was little, we used to fight over the stuffing. I have to admit, most of the time, we would stand over the turkey and eat the stuffing as it was coming out of the turkey. It’s funny how some of our best memories are around the food of the holiday. I hope that you have a new happy memory from our Christmas dinner.

My brother started a funny holiday tradition when we were younger adults.   He owned a video store for years, and every Christmas he would bring an ACTION ADVENTURE movie for us to all watch together after dinner. You know how sometimes after a big meal, you just want to sleep. Well his thought was an action movie would keep us awake. This year you can choose the movie. I love finding a comfy spot to curl up and watch the movie with my family close by. I hope you pick the spot on the couch next to me. You might chose a spot on a cushion so the dogs can snuggle in close to you. Speaking of the fur family, we do include them in our holiday traditions. The dogs and the cat always get their own stockings (we have yours hanging on the fireplace mantle too). We also have special Christmas dog collars for both the girls that they wear during the holiday season.

We might play a game after the movie is over. My family is notoriously competitive. It is completely genetic, and I have seen it in my siblings, and my nieces and nephews. We all love to win. It can make for some pretty boisterous games of Pictionary or Trivial Pursuit. Join in and be ready for a lot of fun. You can be on Paul’s or my team – he is better at Pictionary. And if it is Trivial Pursuit, you have to watch out for my brother John – he has more useless bits of trivia in his head than should be possible. If we team up for Trivial Pursuit, choose his team!

I went on a walking holiday in the fall to Spain. It was a pilgrimage of sorts. A place to go and find quiet and just be myself. I walked 350 kilometres over 17 days. Every day the only thing I had to do that day was walk. And on all of those days, I had to be with myself. Just myself. It was hard and it was beautiful and I learned a number of lessons that I hope I will never forget. One of them is just keep moving forward. There will be days when the hardships seem overwhelming, when you think you can’t do it. Just take another step. Just one more step. That step may be the one that brings you back into the sunshine. It may be the one that carries you to joy, or to peace, or it may just be the one that carries you to a comfortable bed for the night (you always have that here you know that right?). The other thing I learned is that life if precious, we are precious. The best thing we can do is treat every day as magical and special. Even the days that aren’t. That’s hard to do sometimes. Know that I am always here to help you see the good in every day. Somedays it just has to be that one thing. I had one day when I was walking, that I was ready to quit. I had already walked 150 kilometers, and I just thought I was being stupid, and wasting my time. And I really, really, just wanted to quit. But I talked to Paul (we used Messenger) and you know what, he just listened – he listened and he encouraged me – and I felt a bit better – so the next morning I got up and I started to walk again. I know that this sounds silly, because I chose to go on this walk. But you know what – I needed to go on the walk – and I needed to be in the quiet and just with myself and my thoughts. And from that I came home knowing that I am special and I am deserving of love and happiness. We all are. You are. You are so deserving of love and happiness.

Know that you are loved and welcome here. If there is anything I can do to make your Christmas the most special ever, I will do it. I know that Christmas can be a lonely time, and even if we are just a small tribe this year, we will be a mighty tribe. We want to fill the day with love and laughter. I said at the beginning I don’t know much about being a mother, but I have love and understanding, and I have a warm safe home for you to enjoy this Christmas.

Thank you for joining us. Thank you for letting me shine some love on you. Thank you for being the very special and beautiful you.

All my love

 

Holiday Mom Heather

23 comments

  1. Jake says:

    Hey there.
    I’ve seen this website off of instagram, and decided to give it a try, since I too, have been feeling super down, and maybe would like a little help boosting my self esteem? Anyway,
    My name is Jake. I’m panromantic, and transgender, but get much hate from people at school, as well as some family. At school, I get called the wrong pronouns on purpose, lack of respect of my sexuality, and get called /many/ names. At home, my father still refuses to called me by the male name i’ve asked him to use, and doesn’t care about what I think. My mother kindly understands and respects my pronouns, yet I rarely see her. I picked you as my holiday mother, because you seem kind, and caring, especially with your pets. I have a few of my own! A few cats, and a dog. I hope you have a nice christmas with your puppies, and that you are able to help a lot of other teens!

    • Heather says:

      Jake,
      I am so glad you found me through instagram, Stay true to yourself, be proud of who you are and know that there is love and acceptance in the world and right here for you.
      Love your Holiday Mom Heather

  2. Jesse says:

    Hi Holiday Mom,
    I wish I could curl up next to you on the couch to watch a movie. Your home sounds so safe and accepting. My family is very homophobic, so I haven’t come out to them yet. It’s hard to sit around the table and listen to the things they say though. Thanks so much for your encouraging letter.
    -Jesse

    • Heather says:

      I am so glad that you found us! You can come back here anytime to read letters from me and the other moms to fill your love tank and find acceptance and encouragement.
      Love Holiday Mom Heathre

  3. Alex says:

    Dear Holiday Mom Heather,
    This is my first time coming here, to find someone to be my Holiday Mom. I saw that picture of you with the dogs and I knew I had found you.I have 6 dogs (One is going to be a Service Dog!!) My little dog has a festive collar, and my cat and my dog have matching Christmas outfits. This year my cat’s sweater will be going to a grumpy little old man dag that was found on the street and brought to me to love.
    I haven’t come out to my family yet, at least not the family that we celebrate with. And this year it is extra hard, because it’s only been a couple months since my grandma died in a car accident and Christmas was her favorite holiday. Her house is dressed to the nines right now, decorated by 5 of her 10 grandkids, her 2 daughters, and 3 of her 8 great grandkids. I wish I could have come out to her before then. But my family is the epitome of religious and I would have been exiled like my wonderful older cousin who I just attended the wedding of.
    Your brother John sounds a lot like me though. I retain every little bit of useless information you could imagine, it just doesn’t leave room for the important stuff. I’m pretty rubbish at Pictionary though. This year we got Are you Smarter Than a 5th Grader to play before dinner.
    Your Holiday Kid that info dumps,
    Alex (They/Them or He/Him pronouns please)

    • Heather says:

      Alex, I am so glad you are here, and chose me as your Holiday Mom. I hope that you can find a few people in your life to confide in (your older cousin?). I know your animals will keep you safe, and hold your love.
      I bet you have lots of great trivia and still room for the important stuff too. Trivia people are usually very very smart.
      Big Hug! Holiday Mom Heather

  4. Angel says:

    Dear Holiday Mom Heather,

    Thank you for this letter and welcoming me into a place where I am welcome. It just makes my day and it slowly lifts up my depression when I read all the beautiful letters that I get everyday. Thank you so much. In return, you are also a unique, beautiful, and wonderful.

    Your Holiday Child, Angel.

    • Heather says:

      Angel, Please take care of yourself. There are resources and help lines if you start to feel too far down in the depression. I love you and want to make your holiday a bright one filled with hope.
      Love your Holiday Mom Heather

  5. Lionel says:

    Hello Holiday Mom Heather,

    You’re a first-time mom, and I’m a first-time son. I’m glad we can start this journey together. Your story of walking through Spain really was exactly what I needed tonight. I feel so completely and utterly alone right now, and your mantra of keep moving forward was so perfectly what I needed tonight. One day, I hope I can outpace my loneliness.

    Just know, that if I’m coming to your house for the holidays, your brother John better buckle up because he’d have to stretch every neuron to beat me at Trivial Pursuit.

    It’s nice to feel welcome.

    Lionel.

    • Holiday Ciocia says:

      Hi Lionel,

      It can be hard when things get lonely, but you are not alone here with us.

      I’m not as good at trivial pursuit, so I hope I am on your team. 🙂

    • Heather says:

      Lionel, We are here, and you don’t need to feel lonely. I love Trivia Pursuit and I love your fierce competitive spirit.
      Holiday Mom Heather

  6. Christina says:

    thanks, mom!! im having a hard time this christmas (with body image and being in the closet to almost everyone irl and, yknow, just regular gifting stress!) but i truly appreciate being welcomed into your traditions!! if youd dont mind, id like to share a few of my own traditions with you!! on christmas eve i always vacuum the whole house (its relaxing) while listening to a playlist of christmas music… i like to sometimes bake cookies, too! basically helping out around the house is one of my favorite things, so just let me know if you need help with anything!
    i wish that i had more people in my life like you and paul. kind, accepting, unconditional people! im always afraid of doing something wrong in my house, something that gives away too much about myself. its like i have this wall built up to keep anyone from finding out that im a lesbian. but, with you, theres no boundaries! i feel like i could tell you absolutely anything…
    much love this season!!!
    ❤️❤️christina

    • Heather says:

      Christina
      You are perfect just the way you are and should never worry about doing something wrong – not ever with us. I would love someone who vacuums! I tend to tidy and organize when I am stressed out- I think it makes me feel in control especially when other parts of my life are not in control. Do you feel that way too? Be true to yourself, trust yourself and love yourself. Don’t let too many walls keep you from living an incredible life. Much love right back at you.

  7. Daniel says:

    Hi mom,

    It’s hard
    To focus on the holidays right now because my boyfriend says he can’t find a reason to stay with me since I started identifying as transgender. He was doing great with pronouns and stuff and I thought we were good. He was being very good to me and then this happened. I don’t know what to do. Maybe it’s because I got so busy with school and my new job, but I can’t control that. I’m so upset.
    Thank you for welcoming me into your home this year, I really appreciate it.
    -Your Little Daniel

    • Heather says:

      Beautiful Little Daniel, It sounds like you have lots going on with school and a job. Remember when it feels overwhelming to stop and take 5 deep breaths. It doesn’t take away the problems, but it’s great to slow down. I came home from work today all stressed out, and we put on all the Christmas lights in the living room, and sat and enjoyed how pretty it all is. You are welcome here, you are loved here, you are perfect always, all ways.

  8. Marshall says:

    Hi Holiday Mom Heather!
    I’m your holiday son, Marshall. I loved your letter, it was very inspiring. Thank you for teaching me to keep moving forward. And I love veggies as well! My favorite is broccoli. I’d love to watch a movie with you guys. Winter Soldier is one of my favorite action movies. Can we watch that? I also get super competitive, but I guess that’s from cross country.
    Thank you so much for welcoming me into your warm and loving home!
    Your holiday son,
    Marshall

    • Heather says:

      Marshall, I am so glad to know you like your vegetables too! I love squash, and salad, and broccoli too. My recent favorite is a cauliflower cheese bread I make – yum! Paul says that Winter Soldier is the perfect Christmas movie. I had to ask – but I do know who Captain America is. That’s the kind of movie we need on Christmas day. Is it cross country skiing? I hope you have a white Christmas with great snow to take you out on the trails. Much Love!

      • Marshall says:

        Hi Holiday Mom Heather!
        Sadly, due to sensory issues, I simply cannot eat squash. But my favorite salad is a good old ceasar salad. And to answer your question, no, it’s not cross country skiing. I haven’t skied since I was six years old. I mean cross country running. I absolutely love running on trails, because you never know what is going to happen next. I’m a transgender male, and I try to stay fit so my muscles stay strong and big, even without testosterone so I can present more as male. Unfortunately, due to my athletic lifestyle, it is very rare that I get to bind my chest, though it is probably for the better. Hopefully one day my family will accept me enough so that I can have top surgery without cutting ties with them. And the same goes with hormone therapy as well. For now, I just do my best to build what muscle tone I am able to achieve and bind on the very few days when I don’t have to exercise.
        Also, today was a sort of rough day (I probably could’ve handled my friend’s suicide attempt better if I hadn’t skipped track practice to work on homework), but I did the best I could and I know you’ll be proud of me for that.
        Your holiday son,
        Marshall

        • Heather says:

          I love how you know what is good for you and how to stay strong and feel your best. Running is powerful medicine and I am glad you have found it. I will always be proud of you.
          Love Holiday Mom Heather

  9. Lara says:

    Hi holiday Mom,

    This was awesome.

    I am gluten free too, so no stuffing for me haha.

    Your story of the walk really spoke to me. I get immense dysphoria about my body, to the point where I thought I might not get home. But reading your story reminded me that I can always take the next step to being myself and being awesome. Not to give up, to stride forward in happiness and to be proud of who I am- wherever I am.

    So thank you Heather. Happy holidays,
    Give the little ones a cuddle for me,
    Your holiday Daughter,
    Lara

    • Heather says:

      Your letter so inspired me. Always do take the next step. The world is a big wonderful place, and sometimes we only need to take one more step forward to walk into the light. I know you are awesome Lara. Love yourself, be kind to yourself, and be proud of who you are. Love always. Heather

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