Family events can be very difficult for many reasons, many talk about everything you’ve done and can be either supportive or discouraging. I’d like you to know you’re not alone during these holidays, you have someone who cares about you and I’m very proud of how far you’ve come; you may have made some mistakes but it’s made you into the incredible person you are today. Please know that I, as your adopted holiday mom, recognize that as a member of the lesbian, gay, bisexual, transgender, or queer/questioning community, this time of year can be especially trying for you… You are not alone, and you have my thoughts during these holidays.
Your family may not be very accepting of your sexual orientation, which is very sad. I’m sorry that you cannot be with your true love when you’re with the people that are supposed to love you unconditionally. If you cannot be with your partner at work or in public I’m sorry the world isn’t ready to witness that, it’s incredibly unfair and very upsetting. Your rights shouldn’t be taken away just because you’re different, love is love and one day the world will be ready to understand and accept it. Please during these hard times imagine coming over to my house, bringing your partner and being accepted whole heartedly. I look forward to you and your partner showing up with hugs and empty stomachs! I want to tell you how much I’ve missed you and give you lots of compliments of how cute you two are. I know it’s hard when the world looks down on you for something so ordinary as who you love but I wouldn’t and won’t ever; so when you’re sitting with your family please think of me because I’m here and I accept you; we are in this together.
If you haven’t had the chance to come out yet and have to constantly hide a huge part of who you are I want you to know there are people who accept you and love you still. You have to constantly live your life to impress your family, which is incredibly exhausting… Just so they see what they want in you. Please never give up hope on coming out, you will make it there one day; even if it’s just to your friends that’s still a huge accomplishment. Getting gifts may also be a problem for you, which I’m sorry for. I wish you could get the gifts the real you would like, I’d like nothing more to see your face light up with happiness. Please remember there are many other who are facing the same problem as you and understand; one day I hope you never have to worry about faking that smile and “thank you” again. Your gender identity is very important to me and I want you to be comfortable, so please don’t hide who you really are. You’re beautiful to me, so I want you to think you are. Please go stand in front of the mirror and see your reflection. Look past the flaws you see, point out one good thing and start from there; everyday point out something you like about yourself and start seeing yourself the way I do. Feel my hugs as I tell you how proud I am of you, as I admire your bravery, and as I send my love.
I know someone who currently had the courage to come out to her parents, she knew she was bisexual for a year but was terrified to tell anyone- even her best friend. So when she turned 19 she waited until she was off to college and sat with her mom and dad and told them she likes both men and women. It went fairly good, considering so many others have had non-open minded parents. Her mom took it as a joke- as an excuse for “being hurt by so many men. Her father fully accepts her though, which is incredible; she hasn’t came out to any of her family outside her parents but one day she will, she will be brave and I hope that she’ll receive the love she gives to everyone she meets. I’m writing you this letter on her behalf, she has openly spoke to me about how she feels around her mom and I realize I don’t want anyone feeling that way. Everyone should be loved, no matter who they love. She’s an amazing girl and I always have her in my heart, as I do with you. I will think of you during this holiday season, and family events further on. I wish love for you, happiness, and acceptance. I hope you know that someone sincerely cares about and knows how your feel. There is no one like you and that makes you special. Never forget that you’re one of a kind and you are not alone.
All my love,