Your Holiday Mom: Chloe

chloeHappy Holidays my holiday child!

Let me preface this letter with an apology, I am about to quote an abnormal amount of Disney movies as I am a first time mom and they’ve taken over my life. You are now my holiday child, and from this day forth you can call me your Disney Mama, and I will forever be here to light up your life with cheesy quotes, catchy songs, and overall humor.

Now to get started – as I type this there is a tiny one year old pointing at the screen in an attempt to include her baby babbling input, and I imagine if you were here you would be assisting us put ornaments on the tree/helping me stop her from licking the not so scrumptious tree. The smell of balsam is blasting throughout the house, not just from the tree but also from the twelve, yes twelve, plug-ins purchased to add that extra oomph of scent to the house! My boyfriend, daughter and I live in a small apartment, but will always have room for you, come hell or high water we will be there for you. The holidays tend to be a difficult time, especially if you feel alone, misunderstood or unwelcome, and to that I say know that you are loved, accepted, and always welcomed. Consider me like Buzz and Woody – you’ve got a friend in me.

I admire your bravery; coming out is not an easy thing to do. When I was in elementary school, my older sister came out as gay. At ten, those words don’t mean much, I looked at her like “okay, well you’re still my sister.” There were people who understood, and people who didn’t, but she always knew she had ohana (oh geez, here with go with another Disney quote). Ohana means family, and family means nobody gets left behind, OR forgotten. In 2012, she had more life changing news for our family – she is a transgender male. For some people, it was a hard pill to swallow, but to me, as long as I had my older sibling, I was just along for the ride. If there is any one thing you can take away from this, it is that no matter what, as long as you are comfortable and happy with yourself, the people who matter most will be with you like branches on a tree. I am a proud little sister with an older brother whose journey was different than my own, but still lives a fulfilled life, and that’s all anyone could ever ask for.

I end this letter with this message: “There are those who say fate is something beyond our command. That destiny is not our own, but I know better. Our fate lives within us, you only have to be brave enough to see it.” – Disney’s “Brave”

 

Happy holidays, I love you!

Your Disney Mama, AKA Chloe

 

27 comments

  1. haven says:

    Hey there I stopped and read yours because even though I’m in my early 20’s I love Disney movies. This season I can’t get into the spirit I can’t quit crying because I’m so sick of being made fun of or being looked down on because the way I look. I have horrible health issues on top of being a lesbian wanted to be trans and was for a few years and pretty much had to stop due to family and moving closer to be by them. All I do is cry and cry every waking moment so all I want to do is help. So I’m writing this to thank you for all you have said to many of us and for taking the time out of your busy life of being a new mother.

    • Chloe says:

      Oh sweet Haven,

      Have you seen “Wreck It Ralph?” Well, hopefully! Ralph repeats the “Bad Guy affirmation,” and while he struggles with who he is, he always finishes with “there’s no one I’d rather be than me.” Look in the mirror, take a deep breath and repeat those words.

      The bumps in the road can never stop you from keeping on, remember that! While it may be hard to see the light – remember you have a family here who loves and supports you (intro to another Disney reference) like Lightning McQueen and Mater!

      Just call me Mama Mater, when you feel down, come here and I will be here to listen and do my best to help you through whatever.

      I love you,

      Chloe

  2. Casper says:

    Hello holiday mom!
    my name is Casper and like a few people here i am FTM transmale,
    If you want i will write a few things about me,
    but like i was recommended this site by my close friend and well the reason behind that is that many people at my school have been calling me my preferred name to tease me or my birth name, my older sister and younger brother haven’t exactly been calling me my preferred name and pronouns either..
    But hey! one person can make me happy if they call me Casper and by masculine pronouns and i hope you are that person!
    Till next time!
    Love your holiday son Casper

  3. Casper James says:

    All right.The The first one posted before I was ready but I feel like that’s just how tevhnology is. My name is Casper. And this post even though I’m not reading it on a holiday made me very happy. Because my parents kicked me out. Because of my choices in gender and sexuality. Not that it’s a choice.it’s never a choice. Years of bullying and beating and I’m still going strong. But this brought a smile to my face. Thank you… plus… never apologize for Disney quotes. Disney rocks…

    • Chloe says:

      Hi Casper!

      I am so sorry for the delayed response, normally I’m far more efficient than this.

      I am so thankful my words could bring a smile to your face during such a difficult time. I embrace who you are with open arms, and know that you have a wonderful support system whenever you come here.

      Never hesitate to reach out, as I will be here to remind you how wonderful and strong you are. Just like Merida said, your fate lives within YOU, and you are brave enough to see it!

      I love you!

      Chloe

  4. Jolie says:

    Hey I’m a 14 years old pansexsual girl who well let’s say got hurt because who I am and I found this sight on instagram by a fellow friend and check it out I think it’s awesome what your doing I’m glad their are people like you out their don’t stop these it really made my day

    • Shamama says:

      Hi Jolie,
      Well, we are so happy that you found us, and know that you can stop by anytime to get your love tank filled!! xo

    • Chloe says:

      Hello Jolie!

      Because of people like you, we will certainly never stop! Your support means the world to me, to all of us!

      I am so sorry for what you have been through, but I am so proud of you for being true to yourself. You will always have a place here with my family and me, and we welcome you with open arms.

      All my love,

      Chloe

  5. Saraphena says:

    This is really amazing I actually feel like someone cares after my dad disowned me for going out with a transgender boy and the things you say are so sweet and the things every one says are so sweet and I just wanted to say thank you there’s not that many people like you

    • Chloe says:

      Hello Saraphena!

      There are absolutely people who care, just look at everyone here! Not just the moms who post, but everyone who comments. You are never alone, nor will you ever be left behind (ohana, remember?!)

      Love is love and you are a beautiful soul for loving without boundaries. I am here whenever you need me, don’t forget that.

      Love always,

      Chloe

  6. Pierce says:

    I’m Pierce and im a FtM transgender (much like Oliver) my problems also being like his. These few months before Christmas and New Years are very hard for me. Im forced to be around large groups of family while they misgender/name me, all the while im expected to accept it and not let it get me angry or upset. Ive been “out” to my family for a year now and the only positive thing ive gotten in return is my grandmothers semi understanding and attempts at accepting but i hardly see her so im mostly always in a negative environment with my birth mother telling me im worthless and asking why she couldnt have a normal child, and my father not talking to me.
    Its hard, it really is, but reading this uplifting letter and seeing your beautiful family i feel a part of it and i couldn’t be more grateful for your help to me and to other LBGT+ kids. Thank you so much for being a part of my holiday family this season.
    Your holiday son,
    Pierce

    • Chloe says:

      Sweet Pierce,

      Have you ever seen the movie “Mulan?” Well, if you haven’t, I demand you do!

      “Somehow I cannot hide
      Who I am, though I’ve tried.
      When will my reflection show, who I am, inside?
      How I pray, that a time will come,
      I can free myself, from their expectations
      On that day, I’ll discover someway to be myself.”

      Never hide who you are, and keep letting your beautiful self shine. Oftentimes people forget that everyone has their own path, so promise me you will always stay true to yours. Know that I will be here if you need to talk; don’t let the holiday season pass you by without knowing you have a safe place here with me, and all of your holiday mom family!

      I love you, a bushel and a peck, and a hug around the neck!

      Chloe

  7. Dylan says:

    I think you are absolutely brilliant and this really helps a lot as my birth mom is not so keen on the idea of having a transgender son. I love your Disney flare, its what made me stop and read your letter. Your child is adorable. You are an amazing person. Thanks for being you and such a great ally. It really means a lot to me and is great to hear in times of trouble in our community (RIP Leelah Alcorn) that someone like you is here.

    • Chloe says:

      Hello Dylan!
      It means so much to me to be able to do this and to get such a response brings tears to my eyes! You are a beautiful person inside and out, and I am so sorry you’re going through a hard time with your mom. I hope more than anything this new year brings about a change in her opinion. No matter what I am here to provide support, joy and unconditional love.

      During such a heartbreaking time in the community please never hesitate to reach out as I will be here to respond, no matter what! I love you, and thank you for your kind words!

      Chloe

  8. Dylan says:

    I think you are absolutely brilliant and this really helps a lot as my birth mom is not so keen on the idea of having a transgender son. I love your Disney flare, its what made me stop and read your letter. Your child is adorable. You are an amazing person. Thanks for being you and such a great ally.

  9. cato says:

    Chloe! I am blessed to call you my sister. Every bump and scrape along the way, you have been there to remind me that I am always loved and that someone is proud of me. Chloe, you have made me so proud over the years. You have championed the cause and you have never let an injustice go without doing something. You are a born protector and ally. You are a light in dark places, and clearly not just for me!
    I am so full, rereading your letter and the responses to it. I love you so much!
    Your brother,
    Cato

    • Chloe says:

      “We all have a weakness
      But some of ours are easy to identify.
      Look me in the eye
      And ask for forgiveness;
      We’ll make a pact to never speak that word again
      Yes you are my friend.
      We all have something that digs at us,
      At least we dig each other
      So when weakness turns my ego up
      I know you’ll count on the me from yesterday
      If I turn into another
      Dig me up from under what is covering
      The better part of me
      Sing this song
      Remind me that we’ll always have each other
      When everything else is gone.
      We all have a sickness
      That cleverly attaches and multiplies
      No matter how we try.
      We all have someone that digs at us,
      At least we dig each other
      So when sickness turns my ego up
      I know you’ll act as a clever medicine.
      If I turn into another
      Dig me up from under what is covering
      The better part of me.
      Sing this song!
      Remind me that we’ll always have each other
      When everything else is gone.
      Oh each other….
      When everything
      Else is gone.”

      I love you. 🙂

  10. Chloe says:

    MMy dear Oliver, you left me speechless with your love and support for a girl who isn’t the best writer! Thank you for your kind words!
    I am so grateful my words could help you through such a difficult time. I am so sorry the holidays were so hard for you, my heart is heavy knowing you felt any sort of pain during a time of year where you should be feeling love.
    My mother (so your holiday Nana!) is filled with tricks. When my brother was facing extreme anxiety my mom gave him this simple exercise to do whenever he felt lost. Sit down, inside, outside, anywhere. Sit down and let your eyes wander, don’t focus particularly on one thing too long, just take in the scenery. The world is a bigger place, filled with people who love and support you. Although you may feel anxious and sad in the moment, it too shall pass, and just take a deep breath and let it out.

    Every night before we go to sleep, I recite this to my daughter, and I say it to you hoping you know that whenever you need me, I will be here.

    “I’ll love you forever,
    I’ll like you for always,
    As long as I’m living
    my baby you’ll be.”

    Happy New Year sweetheart, I love you.

    Chloe

  11. Mallory says:

    Hi I am Mallory I’m fourteen years old and I have never struggled with my gender but I have recently discovered that I am pansexual. I have only come out to two of my friends (one of them was an accident) so most of my support comes from the internet. I once told my mom about a friend of mine who is also pansexual and after explaining it to her she just shook her head and told me that she was too young to be any kind of sexual and that she was just troubled. I am almost certain that my mom will not accept me if I come out and my dad is probably the same, but it is great to know that I can have a holiday mom(and family) who will accept me and loves Disney movies just as much as I do. Thanks for your support and I hope you have a happy new year~

    • Chloe says:

      Happy New Year honey!
      Please know that if ever you need love and support you are welcome to come back here and I will do whatever I can to make you feel the warmth of acceptance!
      You have overcome the first, and hardest step, which was to come out to yourself! You are your harshest critic, but know that you are loved and supported by so many; and if ever you need to be reminded of this, you have a friend, mother, and confidant in me.

      I wish you a new year filled with joy, I love you!

      Chloe

  12. Jaden says:

    Hello! I’m Jay, a 14 year old pansexual girl, and I just wanted to say that this message made me so happy! I love the Disney quotes, by the way. (Disney movies have to be my favorite. Never growing out of them.) My parents would never accept me if I came out, and it’s amazing knowing that there are people out there as kind and supportive of you.
    Happy holidays with love,
    Jay.

    • Chloe says:

      Happy New Year!

      I’m so glad I could put a smile on your face around a difficult time of year. I feel like a Disney song can say how I feel best!

      “I have often dreamed,
      Of a far off place,
      Where a great warm welcome,
      Will be waiting for me.

      Where the crowds will cheer,
      When they see my face,
      And a voice keeps saying,
      ‘This is where I’m meant to be’.

      I will find my way,
      I can go the distance,
      I’ll be there someday,
      If I can be strong,
      I know every mile,
      Will be worth my while,
      I would go most anywhere,
      to feel like I belong.

      I am on my way,
      I can go the distance,
      I don’t care how far,
      Somehow I’ll be strong,
      I know every mile,
      Will be worth my while,
      I would go most anywhere,
      to find where I belong.” – “Go the Distance” from Hercules

      Know that this is a place where your great, warm welcome is, and always will be. I love you!

      Chloe

  13. Xochitl says:

    Hi Chloe! I was at the edge of my seat and blubbering to this. Your understanding is enough to give me a seed of happiness.
    My mom has always said to be “Xochitl is a name fit for a Disney Princess.” not knowing whom the name really belonged to. It belonged to an Aztec God not Goddess, and which I’m a transmale. Also among other great things he is the god of homosexuality, which I am dating a transmale myself. My parents should’ve guessed who’d I become with my name. Yet they kept calling me their Disney Princess Xochitl. I’m keeping the name, it’s unique, just as you guys are. You are such a beautiful and kind person and I can tell that your child will become something of a different, more better kind than what this world is filled of. You are apart of such a gorgeous family, makes me teary that my family will never amount to yours. Yes I have an accepting sister who is the only one in this family to know of who I truly am, just as you are, but we’re is that motherly guidance I’m supposed to have, and not from a homophobic mother either. Maybe one day I’ll walk into a theater and see a familiar, comforting family to the eye, watching a new Disney film and smile. Knowing that their is still positivity in this world.

    • Chloe says:

      Hi Xochitl!
      Your comment filled my heart with so much joy, and was a beautiful way to enter the New Year, so I thank you for that!
      My dear, you are a part of my family and will forevermore have a place where you feel safe, welcomed and loved.
      My brothers name prior to transition was Caty, but when I was younger I couldn’t pronounce “C’s” (only mildly unfortunate, since mine begins with a ‘C’ as well!) so I called him “DeeDoo.” To this day, it is a nickname that knows no gender, or sexual orientation (and doesn’t care!) – it just simply means that he is my DeeDoo, and I love him all the same no matter what. Xochitl reminds me of the same love my brothers nickname comes from, and always keep it in your heart that a name does not identify you, but you identify it – and my love, you wear it well!
      Imagine every Disney movie such as the stars in the sky – somewhere I am watching one as well, and thinking of you.

      I love you,
      Chloe

  14. Oliver says:

    Hi Holiday Mom Chloe,

    I’m Oliver and I’m a 15 year old female to male transgender kid. This holiday has been very hard for me because things as simple as hearing my birth name make me feel extremely upset (I’m prone to anxiety and depression to begin with), so seeing the wrong name written on ten different boxes and spending a weekend responding to the wrong name with countless relatives has left me feeling very worn out and sad. I’m tired of asking my real mom to respect me and either getting an angry answer, telling me I’m being too uptight, or a promise which she makes no effort to uphold. It really weighs down on me and all I really need this holiday is an adoptive holiday mom who can show me the support I need. Reading your letter really helped me tonight and I and all other LGBTQ kids appreciate so much what you are doing here. Letting us know that there are people out there who will support and love us without even having spoken to us means so much.
    Thank you for your letter, and for hearing my story. You’ve made my night a lot better.

    Your holiday son,
    Oliver

    • Chloe says:

      Oh my Oliver, you have left me speechless! I am so grateful that my words could help you through such a difficult time. My heart is heavy knowing you were upset during a time when you should feel an abundance of love and support.
      My mom (your holiday Nana!) is filled with tricks. Whenever my brother would go through rough days, she had a simple exercise for him to do. Sit down, inside, outside, anywhere. Just sit and let your eyes pass over everything, never focusing too long on one particular thing. The world is a bigger place, filled with people who are going through your same struggle, who love and support you even though you’ve never met them! Here is a place where I will always be when you need reassurance, and the warmth of unconditional love.

      Every night before we go to bed, I recite this line to my daughter, and I request you do the same every night as you are my holiday child now and forever!

      “I’ll love you forever,
      I’ll like you for always,
      As long as I’m living
      my baby you’ll be.”

      I love you, my dearest Oliver.

      Chloe

      • Oliver says:

        Hi Nana,

        Thank you so much, this really means a lot to me and it was much needed. Thank you for being my holiday mom 🙂

        Love always,
        Oliver

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