Your Holiday Mom: Alexandra

My dear, beautiful holiday child,me-eyes

I want you to know that I do not have any first-hand experience either being or raising a member of the LGBTQ community.  I don’t know what you have faced, what you are facing, or what you will face. I won’t pretend to know. It’s not my job to know. It’s simply my job to say to you with open arms and open heart “I am here with you. I stand with you. I see you for who you really are, all that you deserve to be … in all your beauty, greatness, talent, and heart … You.are.loved.” Plain and simple! Know that for every mom like me there are literally millions more out there who know what is right, and know what it means to live, speak and act from a place of pure love. Imagine those millions: their knowing, and their energy and love, surrounding and enveloping you now with eternal support, kindness, and acceptance.

And now, I invite you to take a little journey with me. Fortunately for us, we get to take this journey together not bound by time or space but within the limitless realm of our own minds and hearts. Not just in our imaginations, but rather meeting in a very real dream-space that we create together. Let us call this space, shall we say … “Holimatrix” (get it? “Holiday” + “matrix”?!) In order to go there, all we need to do is close our eyes and *see* it. Heck… Since we are creating the rules, sweet child, let’s do it with our eyes open! (Read on!)

The first stop on our journey in the Holimatrix will be a winter wonderland … a snowy field. We are bundled warmly as together we look up to watch the snowflakes fall and land on our noses against the grey winter sky. We giggle! In the cold, crisp air, you can sense the absolute purity of nature, and suddenly you’re reminded that just like a snowflake, you are a truly unique and beautiful being.

The next stop on our journey is the doorway of a beautiful home. We approach the golden door decorated with colorful bells and winter greens. You open the door and we enter. A waft of warm air envelopes us. You take off your coat and notice the delicious aroma of spiced apple cider. You turn to find your holiday family greeting you: Your holiday sister, Avani (an amazing, beautiful 7 year old), rushes to offer you a snuggly hug. Your jolly holiday dad, loving holiday grandparents, and friendly holiday cousins all greet you with love and smiles. We are all so proud of who you are & who you’ve chosen to be, and we are tickled pink to get to spend the day with you!

The final stop on our journey is the living room, by the fireplace. After a full meal and day of family time, everyone else has gone to bed. It’s just you and me, your holiday mom. You cozy up next to the fire and close your eyes, feeling the warmth sink into your bones. I hum your favorite tune as you fall asleep. The last thing you hear from me as you drift off is “I love you just the way you are.”

Remember: Any time you need your fill of love this holiday season, meet me in your heart and mind in our Holimatrix – I promise to be there.

Big big big hugs!!!! You are not alone. Love love love to you now and forever!

Alexandra

(Your holiday mom) 💕

70 comments

  1. Shelby says:

    Dear Holiday mom,
    I’ve just recently figured out about my sexuality and frankly – as stereotypical as it sounds – living in a place where there are more southerners or “rednecks” as some people label them – aren’t as accepting as others // I guess its just how some people are raised – especially the boys at my school who make homophobic jokes and (the worst) use gay as an insult – My parents (also being extremely homophobic) also make jokes as such and my brother is also quite rude to just about every homosexual I know. And I guess around the holidays I feel quite alone – because only a couple of friends know about my decisions. Occasionally I think about coming out to my parents but I’m too afraid of them either disowning me and possibly hurting me physically. But Mom (if I’m allowed to call you that – I’m assuming so at least haha) your letter really spoke to me – I just recently found out about this website and out of the letters that have currently been posted I seem to keep coming back to yours. I’ve been struggling quite a bit with my bipolar depression currently and my parents could probably care less (Which I realized “they do care” and that type of stuff that people tell me – but they never ask about it nor do they get me medication – but from what I know of I’m doing okay without it) – and I’d just like you to know that I’m so thankful for you and the letter you took time to write. (Between you and me – I visit the “holimatrix” quite a bit because even if it’s all in my head – I feel so accepted and so unstressed and its honestly the coolest thing ever – thanks for coming up with it)

    With love, Shelby.

  2. Kevin says:

    Hey Mommy,

    I hate you for making my cry. I never cry. Okay… maybe I’m joking a little bit about the “I hate you part.” Thank you so much for this letter. My family has never been the real festive one when it comes to the Holidays and I thought I was fine with that, but reading your letter, I realized how I’ve been secretly longing for one. I feel loved and cared for after reading your letter. I really appreciate it. I feel something I haven’t felt in forever, I felt safe. However, I do have a request. Would you be willing to make apple pies with me? I want to learn your delicious recipe.

    Thank you so much Holiday Mom!

    • MaryB says:

      Hello Kevin!
      I may not be the Holiday Mom who wrote you this beautiful letter, but I wanted to tell you that you ARE loved and you ARE cared for. I would love nothing more than to take an afternoon, weekend, or forever to make pies with you.
      I would show you how to measure the ingredients, one by one, and how to mix up the pie crust until we have a ball of dough. We can sit together at the kitchen table to peel and cut apples together as we watch the snowflakes fall out the window, and laugh when Chester the cat spies the birds at the bird feeder. I will help you measure out the spices, and I will tell you my personal secret (Chinese Five Spice). We can mix the spices and sugar together, then mix all those good flavors into our apples. I will show you how my grandmother taught me to roll pie dough, with the old rolling pin that she used.We’ll line the pie tins and pour in the sweet and spicy apples (and I won’t tell if you lick a little juice off your fingers!). We’ll top them off with a little streusel to cook up all crispy and crunchy, and put them in the oven to bake.

      While the house fills with the warm aroma of baking cinnamon, we can relax on the couch with a mug of hot tea (or chocolate!) while Chester snoozes beside you. We can tell stories to each other, or we can watch the Christmas specials that I saved for you on the DVR. Eventually, we’ll hear the kitchen timer “ding” and we can go check our pie. It looks perfect – all golden brown, with just a little bit of the filling bubbling around the edges. It’s going to be SO hard to save it for the rest of the family!

      You did a wonderful job, and I’m so very happy that you wanted to take the time to learn with me. I love sharing food, and cooking is an act of love. I love you and you are so very special to me. Thank you!

  3. Kristina says:

    I just wanted to say thank you. Your kind words actually made me cry. It is a wonderful thing to know there are kind people out there. People that don’t judge.

    • Shaye says:

      Darling girl,

      I may not be your holiday Mom, nor may I have written you a letter that brought tears to your eyes but I want you to know that their are so many of us out here that do not judge. As I sit and look at my beautiful children, I know that you would get a kick out of the topics that come up in conversation. The latest was “What in the world is a digital baby?!”. Kaylin, she’s six, precocious and has an imagination that runs wild. (In fact I think her and Jayson are having a pirate ship battle with chicken soup). Well, we were shopping and she told Jayson she wanted to go to the digital baby section. Can I tell you how many people stopped and stared when after 15 minutes Jayson and I yelled “BUT WHERE IS THE DIGITAL BABY SECTION?!?!”.
      You would have laughed so hard. I could see you conspiring we her. Jace and I would go shopping while you and her would open every musical card there was, just because you wanted to. We would have so much fun 🙂 I want you to know you are loved and sparkle thoughts are being sent your way.
      Holiday Mommy
      Shaye
      Xoxo

  4. Audrey says:

    Dear Holiday mom
    Thank you so much for letting me spend the day with you. I didn’t realise I needed this until now. To see my holiday grandparents again has left me crying because I already miss them so much and you and dad and Avani. I can’t wait to see you all again in the Holimatrix if I can come back? Thank you so much for making me feel loved and missed. Thank you so much. I love you all, I really need this.

  5. Lauren says:

    Dear Holiday Mom,
    I did not know how much I needed this until I read it. Thank you for being there and thank you for the love and support that you provide for me and my other Holiday Siblings.

    Happy holidays,
    See you in the Holimatrix,
    Love,
    Lauren

  6. Alex says:

    Dear Holiday Mom,
    Thank you for being there to warm me up at the end of the day. I didn’t know I needed this reassurance until I imagined someone being there. Thank you for spending time to make sure we are all cared for. I’m very thankful for you doing this for everyone.

    • Angelic says:

      Hi Lexy,
      We love you & we’re glad to have you here with us. We all need to be connected to each other and you brighten our holidays by joining us. Lots of fun and laughter here, and big hugs.
      Love,
      Mama Angelic

  7. Melissa says:

    Dear Holiday Mom,

    I saw this website on Facebook. On a Facebook page about homosexuals. And I just want to say am new here and hopefully I can be accepted here and feel welcomed. And your letter really helped me feel that welcome that I was really looking for a while. Being a lesbian is really hard in my position right now. But with your letter it really helped me make it easier.

    Hopefully am making any sense.

    Thank you so much mom. Means a lot.

    • Angelic says:

      Hi Melissa,
      We are so glad that you found us here! You are welcome no matter what. Sorry you’ve been having a hard time with being a lesbian. We think you are perfectly unique & the world needs what you are. Thank you so much for joining in our holidays.
      Love, Mama Angelic

  8. Joshua says:

    Dear Holiday Mom,
    This has made this holiday season so much better, this made me smile so much and made me so happy, being a Marine and not having family who cares,makes holidays just depressing, this made me smile and cry at the same time, thank you so very much.

    Joshua

  9. Chrissy says:

    Thank you Holiday Mom. Today has been a hard day for me mentally, and I’m really thankful for your letter. It’s made me feel a bit better. Thank you so much for it. I can’t wait to see you in the Holimatrix.

  10. Nick says:

    Thanks, Holiday Mom! I’ll be seeing you and the rest of my Holiday Family in your amazing Holimatrix. Thanks for creating so much love and warm fuzzies! There’s not been a lot of acceptance, but you provide it in spades. Thanks!! Much love, your Holiday Child

    • Angelic says:

      Hi Nick, I’m so glad you’re here with us. Aren’t these chilly & festive days all the better with company? I know you make the world a better place by the perfect uniqueness of you, and for now, it’s lovely that you are here making our holiday better. Lots of love & smiles & holiday snuggles, Mama Angelic

  11. Parker says:

    Thanks a million mom, it’s nice to hear from you. I’m glad you remembered that apple cider is my favorite. Give Avani a huge hug from her big brother. I think the Holimatrix is a beautiful idea, and I will see you there when the nights get cold and lonely. Make sure you give dad a hug too, I’m sure he works really hard a lot. I’m lucky to have a Holiday Family like you guys, and I’m really thankful that you’re here.
    Much love and endless hugs,
    Parker xoxo

  12. James Maxwell says:

    Dear Holiday Mom,
    I’m sitting here in tears after reading your letter. Thank you so much for saying to me what my birth mom and the rest of my family refuses to say. They can’t. or won’t understand that being Transgender, and living as a man, is only being myself. They decided to disown me rather than accept me for me.
    Thank you for having a big enough heart to accept someone, no matter what.

    • Louise says:

      James you are beautiful as you are. I am sorry for your birth mother and the rest of the family turning their back on you, because they won’t be blessed from the many gifts you have to offer from your generous heart. There will come a time when they will ask for you to be there, and they will apologize. That tends to be human nature for people to ‘get it’ at the last second. In the meanwhile, be kind to yourself, extend love to animals and nature all around as that is an extension of your beautiful spirit. Your loving up the rest of the world gives the world healing and strength to help raise more of Her children, like you and me. Someday there will be Peace for all, and for now, I wish this for you for this moment. You matter.

  13. Haze/John says:

    Hey Mom

    I wish it would snow here where I live and I wish school wasn’t so present and stressful. My true passion is art but alas the only time I ever have is the holiday season when I’m normally hiding away in my room from my family because I do not wish to interact with the bigots. So thank you for creating Holimatrix. Know that I will be visiting it a lot as the holidays fast approach.

    Love your 15 year old genderqueer holiday child

  14. Krystifor says:

    This is honestly the best thing in my day so far today.. Thank you so much for this.
    I’m stressing the upcoming holidays, but.. These kinds of letters always find a way to ease the stress, even the smallest bit.

  15. Mark says:

    Holiday Mom,

    Thank you so much for your letter. When I feel lonely or down this holiday season I will definitely remember to take a moment and retreat to the Holimatrix you created for us and spend a few moments reminding myself that I’m surrounded by your love and support. Please give Avani a big hug from me and tell her to give you and dad a big one from me!

    With all my love,
    Mark

  16. Gabby says:

    Dear Mom,
    Thank you so much for creating a warm and safe home for me by using the Holimatrix. I promise to go there whenever I feel lonely and abused by my birth family. Hugs and love!
    ~Gabby

  17. Cassidy says:

    Mom –
    Thank you so much for your letter! I loved reading about what we did together as a loving, accepting family. I’m so glad to have you in my life because of your ability to make me physically smile even with a screen between us.
    Virtual hugs,
    Cassidy

  18. Kat says:

    Dear holiday mom,
    I am so happy to see my beatific sister and I am so glad you accept me for who I am. You make me feel happy, warm, and safe this holiday.

  19. Daniel says:

    Hi mom,

    Thank you for helping take me away from my work and school responsibilities for a little while with our Holimatrix. I work practically everyday now at my new job.
    I appreciate that while you don’t have a child in the LGBTQ community, you still welcome us with open arms. I’m a closeted gay transboy, as I identify as a man and I love men. It’s getting easier to come out to people who are not my family, because I’m scared of what they’ll think of me.
    I got misgendered a lot at work yesterday, I thought with my binder on and my name tag saying Danny, that people would get it. Maybe it’s my face that throws me off. I’m not sure.
    But I thank you for being so accepting. Have a great holiday season,
    Daniel

  20. Danielle says:

    sighs… thank you mom…. thank you for caring… thank you for telling me… I wish my ‘not Holimatrix’ mom could have read my signals all those years….

  21. Riley says:

    Dear Holiday Mom,
    Thank you so much for yiur letter. I imagine what it’s like to be in the “Holimatrix”. I inage a place where people will call me by my correct pronouns and my preferred name. I imagine a place were I can where my gender’s clothes without being judged.
    I imgine being surrounded by a family that loves and supports me despite my tattoos and peircings and sexuality.
    Thank you so much for giving me a place I can escape too this holiday season. It gave me the courage to get out of bed this morning. Thank you so much.
    With much love,
    Riley.

    • Your Holiday Mom says:

      P.S. Your Holiday Mom has tattoos … And adores your piercings and your style all your own. LOVE!!!!

  22. Brinnli says:

    Fitst thing k see when I wake up. Thank you. It was very beautiful and made a great start to my day. The creativeness was what intrigued because after dreaming all night long, I got to wake up, and have one more. A very happy wonderful dream. Thank you.

  23. Jj says:

    Dear Holiday Mom,

    Thank you so much for your letter. I feel loved and warned by your message. It made me happy spending a day with you in the Holimatrix. It made me smile and super happy. I will be meeting you in the Holimatrix very soon, mom. (:

  24. Christina says:

    thanks so much mom!!!! this is adorable, and by extension youre also adorable ❤️❤️❤️ i really hope that we can spend lots and lots of time in the holimatrix together!!!

  25. May says:

    I can almost feel the warmth and smell the apple cider from here! Thanks for giving me a wonderful start to the day!

  26. Miranda says:

    This not only made me tear up but I made me feel more scored than ever before. Thank you thank you THANK YOU for this! The “Holimatrix” was my favourite part.

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