Holiday Mom: JoyBear

To hear JoyBear read her letter, click here!

Holiday Mom: JoyBearDear Holiday Child,

I am overjoyed at welcoming you into my heart this holiday. I know it’s been a really hard year.  So much pain and loss. So much grief and fear.  Feel my arms holding you.  Lay your head down and know for this moment, you are safe and loved.  If I could, I would make everything ok, I really would.

I know you have been hurt and disappointed.  It hurts my heart that you haven’t been treasured for the gift I know you are.  How do I know? Because you are here with me,  opening your self to feel love.  I know also that you are brave and strong,  whether you have come out to the world, or only to yourself.  You, my sweet child, are precious to me exactly how you are. I want, more than anything, for you to feel loved this holiday.

I know, because I come from an abusive neglectful mom.  I have spent many years longing for that connection. I have spent many years in therapy and recovery.  I have chosen to not be hurt by her any longer.  I have not spoken to her for over ten years.  I have had many other mama’s love to help me heal.  I have broken the cycle.  I have a loving connection with my three grown children. My oldest son is gay. He came out to me when he was 17, although I always knew.  I was thrilled when he knew too!

It’s hard not to be afraid during this time in our country.  Find your community to connect with.  I want this world to be a safe and loving place for you.  I am doing what I can everyday to make that happen.  I will hold you in my heart as I stand up for your rights.

For now, I can hold you with an unconditional love, as you are, with your strengths and flaws. I am here this holiday with open arms and a welcoming heart for you, my sweet one.

With love and hugs, your holiday mama



  1. Sam says:

    Dear holiday mama,
    Hi, I’m Sam. I came out to my family as a lesbian a year ago, and they haven’t stopped bashing me for it ever since. They’re so cruel about it that they’ll purposely make me feel like nobody cares. But, reading this made me feel happy again. Even for that short, fleeting moment, I felt something I haven’t felt in years. My parents are very emotionally abusive, turning everything that goes wrong into my fault. But none of us are alone. After reading your letter, I decided that I, too, am going to break the cycle. So, from one heart to another, thank you. Thank you so much.

    • Mama Joybear says:

      My Sweet Sam
      It is very hard to break the cycle. I support you in doing whatever you need to do to take care of yourself. You are so precious to me, please stay safe. You are not alone. I am here holding you in my heart, my arms wrapped around you. I love the beautiful, perfect girl you are.
      Love and hugs
      Mama Joybear

  2. Cayden says:

    Holiday momma,
    Hi, I’m transgender and my mom isn’t supportive. I can’t come out to anyone in my family because no one is supportive, they all make fun of the LGBT+ community. I don’t feel safe being at home, and I’m always uncomfortable. I want to be myself but it’s hard to. I know I can be who I am with you, because you understand. Your letter made me very happy. You’re really supportive and you seem to have such a kind heart. This made me happy. Thank you. I know my comment isn’t that original, I’m sorry.
    Love, Cayden or Cay.

    • Mama Joybear says:

      My sweet Cay
      I’m here to support you in being true to who you are. Finding others in your community to love and support you is really important. When my family of origin couldn’t give me what I needed I found another family of warm, kind and accepting people. I choose to spend my time with them. This holiday season feel my arms wrapped around you as I hold you in my heart.
      Love and hugs
      Mama Joybear

  3. Addison says:

    Dear Holiday Mom,
    I can connect with you with having a abusive mom. I keep on telling myself that it will get better. And one day everyone will accept me for me. You and all the other holiday moms make me feel more accepted and loved every day.

    Your Holiday Child Addy

    • Mama Joybear says:

      My Sweet Addy
      I accept you exactly as you are. You are perfect in every way. I wish you love and acceptance from those around you that you choose to be your family. I’m holding you in my heart this holiday season. You aren’t alone.
      Love and Hugs
      Mama Joybear

  4. Vini says:

    I feel better after reading this. thank you no one ever cared for me in real, I try covering it up with ignorance, It works but I feel so emptyand alone

    • JoyBear says:

      Dear Vini
      I am here. You are not alone. You are precious to me exactly how you are Vini. You feel empty, feel my love for you. You are my miracle child!
      I love you,
      Mama Joybear

  5. Cassidy says:

    Thank you so much for your heartfelt words; I’ve been needing them. Love you mama!

  6. James says:

    This made me really happy, I hope that someday I can come out to the world. Thank you for giving me hope that the cycle can indeed be broken, and thank you for the love you’re sharing. We’ll stand together for our rights, and I am thankful that you are by our side.

    • Joybear says:

      Dear James
      I am by your side, you are not alone. I support you in doing whatever you need to take care of yourself each day. You are precious to me James. I love you.
      Mama Joybear

  7. Seantel Engleby says:

    Dear holiday momma
    Thank you. For all of the love, support and happiness you bring me. I’m lesbian and no one in my family knows and I’m scared because they’re so against it all. But I know I don’t have to be afraid with you. These kind words mean the world to me and it brought tears to my eyes. I can feel the love I’ve never felt before. I appreciate that more than anything.
    With hugs ~ holiday child.

    • Joybear says:

      Dear Seantel
      This I know for sure…You are perfect as you are. You are beautiful as you are. Listen to what you know to be true. Tell your family only when you are ready.
      I love you precious girl
      Your holiday mama Joybear

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