Holiday Mom: Erin

To hear Erin read her letter, click here!

Holiday Mom: ErinWelcome home, sweet kiddo! Happy, happy holidays. I don’t have the words to tell you how delighted I am to have you with me this year. I look at you and my heart feels swollen with joy: every beat against my ribs reminds me of how lucky I am that you are my holiday child. Our family feels so complete when you are here with us.

You have been on my heart and mind so much lately. I know the holidays can be overwhelming and difficult for a lot of reasons, so I want to do everything I can for you to make this a time of light and love. If you need hugs, I’m here to wrap you up in my arms as tight as you can stand. If you want to snuggle, there is always a spot next to me on the couch; my shoulder is always waiting for your head. If you’d rather sit in the chair in our reading nook and smile at me from across the room, seated apart but together in all the ways that matter, I am here. If you want to talk, I am here. If you want me to talk, I can do that too. This season my job is to fill up your heart with whatever you need.

This is a cozy time of year in our family. Your little brother, Milo, is finally getting to the age where he is beginning to understand the holidays. Can’t you just picture his little face covered with mashed potatoes and pumpkin pie? Can you imagine the way his eyes light up when he looks at all the decorations and lights? Can you see him tearing into all the gifts and playing with the boxes and paper? Your dad and I love to take nighttime drives during this time of year. Imagine hunkering down in the car with a cup of tea or cocoa and driving through the snowy darkness, looking at the fairy lights, the glowing fireplaces, the sparkling candles and glittering trees. We can do that every night this season, if you want.

I have so many dreams for you this year. On the most basic level, I want health, safety, and comfort for you. But beyond that I want everyone in the world to see you the way I do: I want them to know you for the sweet, warm, loving person that you are. I want the world to know all your wonderful traits and abilities, to know about all your strong and special self. I want you to be surrounded by more love than you know what to do with, this season and all year long.

As I wrap up this letter, remember this: I am your Holiday Mom, but my love for you is not limited to these quiet, dark months. I love you every minute of every day. You are such a gift to me: your presence, your essence, your history, your future, everything that makes you YOU. My world is brighter and fuller because I know a person like you is out there, making the universe  glorious.

Every day this holiday season, I promise to think about you, with all your beauty and bravery, and to send you love and light. I am proud of you. I delight in you. You are a blessing and you are beloved.

Happy Thanksgiving! Merry Christmas! Joyous Kwanzaa! Hanukkah Sameach! Peace on earth and in your wonderful, lovely heart.

Love always, every day, every moment,

Erin, Your Holiday Mom

25 comments

  1. Liliana C says:

    Thank you, I don’t know what to describe this feeling I have in me when I heard you from start to finish, in my room in the dark not knowing what to do with myself then hearing you made me feel… I’m not really sure… Loved? I’m not really sure if that’s the correct term but it’s the clost I feel. But I’m not really sure how that feels that much to be honest. Now in my room with this weird feeling in me that makes me feel anxious and happy
    From, Camyrn

  2. Maximus says:

    Dear momma,
    I am 13 years old and I am FtM transgender. Your letter gives me life. I was wondering if I could be your holiday child to I know im a little late but my family isn’t that excepting except my sister isabel. Toyr letter made me cry happy tears just to know im loved I love you momma. You can call me max if you want.
    Love your trans teen,
    Maximus

    • Michelle Sands says:

      Dear Max,
      It’s long since you posted but I wanted to let you know that there is a mama out there loving you and checking in even wayyyyy after the holidays. You are loved through the holidays and loved through the regular days too. You are accepted and cherished for the uniqueness of you. xo

  3. Sammi says:

    Thank you Erin. Your letter brings tears to my eyes whenever I read it. In a very religious, non accepting family, the holidays are very difficult. I’m still closeted with no hopes of coming out to them. I’m very thankful for what you do here and your heartfelt letter.

  4. Evey says:

    I am literally in tears. This last week has been terrible as my family has turned against me after I came out ad gay to them. I thought they loved me and cared about me, but I was very mistaken. I have been searching for a safe and loving place to rejuvenate, because I have never felt so unwanted. I am who I am and that is good enough here. Thank you from the bottom of my heart. Some hot cocoa sounds marvelous right now….! Much love and peace

    • Mama Lou says:

      Evey–who you are is more than good enough here, or anywhere, because you are perfect and special and good and LOVED! Treat yourself with care and comfort and know that that world is excited and waiting to celebrate the wonderful real YOU!

  5. Seantel Engleby says:

    Dear holiday mom,
    My heart is so happy reading this. I can’t begin to explain how it makes me feel. I feel as though I have a family that cares about me. I’m sure Milo and I would get along well! I’ve never really felt the real love that family is supposed to have, and I feel in in this letter. It would mean the world to me to have someone to talk to when I need it and to have a shoulder to cry on. Thank you for these loving words and thank you for making me feel loved. My heart is happy and I am when I read this.

    • Erin says:

      Seantel, I hope you had the most wonderful Christmas day! Even though we are apart, always remember how valuable and special you are to me. Love from Your Holiday Mom

  6. Valerie says:

    Thank you so much, I am so glad to be here. I love all of you and I’d love to build forts out of the boxes with Milo. And I’m here for all the cuddles!
    It all sounds super awesome and I love the fact that you’re writing this, it made me a little emotional. I would also love an audio version if this letter!
    I wish you all the same too and I hope your christmas day was amazing!
    Love, hugs and kisses,
    Valerie

    • Erin says:

      Hi darling Valerie,

      Merry Christmas! Milo would be more than happy to build a box fort with you. My Christmas Day was lovely, and I hope yours was too.

      Love from Your Holiday Mom

  7. Katherine M says:

    Dear Mom Erin,

    This was the first letter I’ve ever read and I’m really thankful that I did. It made me cry alot and really hard but I’m feeling better now. Just the possibility of having a loving family made me feel better. Sitting in a dark room, I feel hopeful.

    I thank you so much for taking your time and being there for us when no one else is. It really means so much. I wish I had a family as lovely as yours. We really need more people like you.

    Your son sounds wonderful and that photo is really cute. He’s lucky to have a mom like you.

    I hope you have happy holidays and a good year. From the bottom of my heart, I wish you and your family all the best this year and in life. You really made me feel needed when no one else could and I will always remember that. I hope my good thoughts stay with you.

    Thank you for everything.

    Love, your holiday child,

    Katherine.

    • Erin says:

      Katherine, my dear,

      Thank you so much for your lovely words. I am so happy to be a hopeful light in a dark room for you; and I hope that you know that just by being yourself, you are a hopeful light for me as well. Sometimes I can feel overwhelmed by the world; knowing there are loving people like you, even people I’ve never met, gives me hope.

      Love from Your Holiday Mom

  8. Mama Lou says:

    Atlas and Katharina–do you know how wonderfully special you are to all of the holiday moms? To this earth? We are filled with love and our hurts burst with pride over your spectular perfection. There would never, could never be a more perfect YOU, which warms and melts my mama heart. Merry Christmas, sweet lovies. You are cherished.

  9. Sara says:

    Mom: Erin thank you for the warmth in your letter and in your heart I would love listening to this over and over again

    Love

    Sara

  10. Erin says:

    Dear Atlas, happy happy Christmas to you. Thank you for your loving wishes, I hope your day is glorious too. Love, Your Holiday Mom

  11. Katharina says:

    Dear Momma Erin,
    Can you do an audio version of your letter? So that i can listen to it every night of the year when i get sleepy and do not want the nightmares. Thank you that i am alowed to hug you. I will do just that now.
    Hugs, Katharina

  12. Atlas Wilder says:

    Thank you for the nice letter to wake up to and the wonderful wishes. I hope christmas is glorious for you and I am happier today knowing I have someone that cares

    • Erin says:

      Dear Atlas, happy happy Christmas to you. Thank you for your loving wishes, I hope your day is glorious too. Love, Your Holiday Mom

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