Holiday Mom: Ashley

Holiday Mom: AshleyThe Holiday season is here and we’re so excited to have you join our family.

GPS our new address… you’ll get lost, everyone does when they come to the house. Please be sure to call and ask me (Mom Ashley) for directions. I have no sense of direction so I’ll get you more lost. We’ll laugh and laugh as dad takes the phone to get you home… you’re almost here!

When you pull up to the house we run out to greet you. I get to give you hugs first, because… I’m Mom and I always get the first hug. J Dad has a tear in his eye he’s so happy to see you.  Your little sister is close behind, clutching her new dinosaur (she’s four and loves dinos). Aidan and ‘B’ are on the couch with their iPads. They’re thrilled to see you but you’d never know. They are lazy teenagers! Kelly, your oldest sibling always has endless optimism. You two have a special bond. Kelly claimed gender neutrality many years ago and we love watching her explore and discover who she is. Just like you, we support her journey within the LGBTQ community.  We are so proud you both are part of our family. We commend you and her for being true to who you are and loving yourselves.

I sure hope you like dogs! They are going to love you. Well, except for the little black one, her name is Priscilla. She’ll give you a couple growls but once you get on the couch she’ll be the first in your lap for cuddles. Dug and Olive Oyl will be begging for your attention all night.

We have a special ornament for you to hang on the tree. Grandma buys them for you and your siblings every year so you’ll have your own collection soon.  Can you smell the pine? We picked the tree a couple weeks ago. The ornaments are sloppy and the tree is falling – just the way we like it. Jase, your little sister did most of the decorating and the tree is a perfect mess.

Speaking of mess… the kitchen is in full roar getting ready for everyone to arrive. Papa is bringing the turkey as always. We’re fast at working making mash potatoes and gravy and other tasty sides. I’ve started peeling the apples for my famous apple pie – I’d love your help.  We’re going to stuff ourselves silly this afternoon

Everyone is soon to arrive so let’s take a moment on the couch with dad. We can’t wait to hear all about what you’ve been up to.  You’re such a special and integral part of our family. Your hopes and dreams matter so much to us as does your happiness. You are a beautiful, kind and amazing soul. We love you.

26 comments

  1. Chloe says:

    Dear mom
    I only just seen this and i have been in tears knowing that you and your family accept me for who i am. For a while now I’ve been struggling so much with my anxiety and depression and i feel so alone because i don’t have family to talk to and support me as they speak to me and treat me as im nothing – worthless – ever since i came out being bisexual.

    You’re words mean a lot to me and they have made me feel like i have something to hold on to.

    I hope you all had a great Christmas, filled with joy and i wish i could have been there to celebrate it with such an accepting family like yours.

    Chloe

    • Martha says:

      Chloe – I am sorry to hear you are so alone just now. We have two magnificently gay kids in our family and you would fit right in May you find people who love and cherish you for who you are. Big hug – Martha

    • ashley says:

      Hi Cloe – so sorry I’ve been offline and didn’t have a chance to respond sooner. Your sister Kelly has times of depression and anxiety, as did I when I was younger.

      As time moves on you’ll become stronger in yourself and things will become easier. You are far from worthless. People like you have an authenticity than many never find in a lifetime. You’re being true to yourself and that’s a HUGE accomplishment in this life time. You’re supported on your journey and loved for who you are. I’m sending you so much love.

      • Chloe says:

        It’s okay, you don’t need to apologise. Thank you so much, it means so much to me. I hope i can become stronger. Thank you so much, much love to you too

  2. Katherine M says:

    Dear Mom Ashley,

    This actually made me cry.
    They’re good tears tho. I’m really glad I read this, I was feeling so alone and now I feel like I can be okay, I can be loved. I would love to be there and make pie with you and play with the dogs and cuddle with Priscilla. I find an animal loving you so precious, there’s nothing else like it. I have two cats and it’s honestly the best thing.

    I wish I had an accepting family that would support me or at least love me like yours does. Battling depression and ed, I really appreciate you taking your time and writing this for all of us.

    It’s really hard, especially today, but people like you really give me hope and make me believe that there are good and kind people out there who could love and accept me for who I am rather than for what they want me to be.

    This actually made me feel better, made me want to spend Christmas with you all, and I thank you so much for that. I have one person who loves me(my partner) and it’s nice to feel ,even for a little bit, that you have a family, too.

    I hope you have a wonderful Christmas and I wish with all my heart for good things to come your and family’s way the whole year and more. Thank you for being such an amazing person and making this dark Christmas a little better for me.

    Thank you so much.

    Love, your holiday child,

    Katherine.

    • ashley says:

      Merry Christmas Katherine. Priscilla is passed out on the couch and would love a cuddle. :)

      I hope you and your partner had an amazing Christmas. I would love to have met her and spent the day with you both. You two will build the family and offer the support you didn’t have. That is an amazing gift to this world. Be the light, an example for all to see of acceptance and love.

      I wish you the best. Hug those kitties, and your partner. You’re loved. :)

  3. Lucy D says:

    Dear Mom Ashley,

    Your kind and loving words really made me cry. I haven’t felt this loved in, well, years. Your words have made my day, if not my week.

    I feel so loved and wanted and it really made me smile. I felt part of your family and wished I truly was. Sometimes I feel like a stranger to my family – the things they say and do just beat me down. I’ve sunk into a deep, dark spiral of depression and their words only make life life worse.

    But reading your letter has truly brightened this tough time.

    Thank you so much.

    Love your holiday child,

    Lucy

    • ashley says:

      Hey Lucy! I’d love to write you a letter for every week of the year. :) Please don’t let that birth family of yours beat you down. It’s a reflection of their own insecurity. You, my sweet Lucy are beyond special and have so much value to me, your Holiday Dad and all your sibs. I cherish every ounce of you.. please don’t let their words get you down. I say it louder… I LOVE YOU!!!

  4. Martha says:

    Dear Mom Ashley,
    Thank you for everything. I didn’t read this until this morning and I’m really glad I did. Even though I am crying right now, they are good tears because your words reminded me that there are people out there that do want to accept me. I’m facing a hard transition time where I’ve moved out, and have been invited to my girlfriend’s Christmas celebrations, but I still have to spend time with my family which is not supportive.
    I would love to help you make pie, and I made fudge and am knitting and I so wish I could meet your dogs.
    Thank you again for your kind words. They mean so much to me.

    • Honorary Holiday Sis Silvara says:

      Moving is always hard, especially around the holidays. I’m sorry your family is not supportive of you, but at least you have visiting your girlfriends family to look forward to!

      Sometimes the best memories include family by choice (friends, adoptive families, anyone and everyone) as opposed to families of birth. And sometimes parents and siblings come around to being supportive in later years.

      Just remember, things get better. There are people out there who love you for yourself, wether or not you’ve met each other yet, I can guarantee they’re thinking of you this holiday season and wishing you love and happiness.

      As Disney’s Cinderella sang, “Have faith in your dreams and someday
      Your rainbow will come smiling through
      No matter how your heart is grieving
      If you keep on believing
      The dream that you wish will come true”

      It may not be the holiday you hoped for, but I’m wishing you all the best this holday and all the years to come. You are loved, never doubt it.

    • ashley says:

      Fudge! Yes please! I’ve always wanted to learn to knit as well. I’m a crafty mom so we’d be the perfect pair. I’d love to hear all about your girlfriend too and give her a wonderful welcome into our home.

      Transition is always hard sweetie. Hang in there. Tons of Mama hugs to you today and every day. I LOVE YOU!

  5. Christoph says:

    Thank you for taking the time to write this.
    It’s Christmas and what can I say? I don’t have any family left that would care for me. I have my fiancé (and in thankful for that) but it’s not the same as a big loving family.
    You gave me a warm feeling, a feeling to be wanted in your family, to be loved.
    Thank you so very much for making Christmas a little better for me.

    • Lou says:

      Christoph,

      In the UK, we have a saying, out of small acorns, big oak trees grow.
      Your fiancé is the beginning of your own big and loving family. Family isn’t just those we are related to by blood, it’s the people who we choose, and who choose us to be loved.
      I’m sure that you will have the most beautiful Christmas and that you will start to build traditions of your own,

      Lou

    • ashley says:

      Christoph, Sweet Christoph. I’m not going to lie… Christmas can be tough. I’m so thankful for your fiancé and I wish I could meet him. I’d love to hear all about your love and the family you’re going to build together. Moving forward in a space of authenticity will brighten the world. I’m so thankful for you and I’m so proud of you for honoring yourself. You make my Christmas better too. :)

  6. Seantel Engleby says:

    Every time I read any of these I’m in tears. I feel wanted, I feel loved. I never feel these emotions or feeling in my life much. It’s nice. I only found this site a few days ago and I want to thank you for this. I feel so warm and fuzzy and loved and included.

    • ashley says:

      Seantel,
      I’m happy you found the site and I’m so happy I get to be your Holiday Mom. Actually, I’ve love the honor of being your mom year-round. I’m sending you warm and fuzzy hugs today, tomorrow and every day from here on out. Muah!

  7. Cody Collins says:

    I’m in tears, I’ve never felt so much love and acceptance. I truly feel like your son and a part of the family. Thank you for this momma.

    • ashley says:

      This warms my heart son! I just love the thought of that… another son! Yes please! One just like you. You are part of the family now Cody. I’d love to wipe your tears and chat with you all night. I love you this Holiday and every one to come. Please shine your light bright!

  8. Alexander Grant says:

    I read this four times through and I’m 10/10 not crying I swear. I wish more than anything sometimes that my family would accept me the way you accept yours. Christmas is honestly so horrible sometimes and I just feel so alone and your letter made me feel like maybe there is some reason I’m still alive even though I feel like the world doesn’t really want me here. Thank you for doing this and making us feel loved.

    • ashley says:

      It’s so hard to hear that you’re in pain. Please let me be your world and *know* I want every bit of you, just as you are, here. I’m giving you tons of mom hugs this season. Hang in there.. I LOVE YOU. I LOVE YOU. I LOVE YOU. Don’t ever go anywhere because you make this earth more special.

    • Martha says:

      Alexander – I hear that your road seems lonely now. My Christmas wish for you is that you will begin to find more and more people in your life who value you for who you are, who see you and accept you and celebrate your gayness as a wholesome part of who you are. May you be wrapped in a community of loving acceptance. You are welcome in our family and I will be thinking of you and cherishing your existence this Christmas.

  9. Max says:

    This made me cry after reading this because it made me feel loved and wanted. It mostly made me happy because thinking about this, I imagined being there with a lot of supportive, kind, and positive people.

    • ashley says:

      You’re here in spirit celebrating the holidays. We’re proud of who you are and all that you will be. You’re loved this holiday… and every holiday!

  10. allie n says:

    couldnt help but burst in tears reading this. it made me feel some type of way. like that warm and fuzzy feeling of feeling wanted. thank you. you made my day. im not really sure what to say. youre my first comment and letter on this site. just made me happy.

    • ashley says:

      Allie – From the bottom of my heart… you’re wanted and loved. I reach out to you this morning, and every morning to assure you of your immense value. Keep your head high. Every ounce of you means the world to ME. Big hugs my love.

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