Holiday Mom: Mama Aly

Holiday Mom: Mama AlyHello, dear one. I’m so glad you could join us for the holidays!

It’s cold here, and likely snowy, so knock off your shoes and hang your coat while I get you a warm drink. Tea? Coffee? Cocoa? I always feel like I need to make sure everyone’s had something nice to drink and eat. Make yourself comfy!

As soon as the dog is done wagging her tail off at you and Kiddo is done orbiting you, telling you all about his latest Lego creations (you’re his favorite, you know), you can pick a couch spot and settle in for however long you like. It’s holiday schedule, which means it’s time to chill out for a staycation.

Has it been rough, dear? I know it can be. Holiday Dad and I are here for you; maybe we haven’t had to deal with your particular flavor of trials, but we’ve sure had our own. Sure, we “pass”, but it’s not like we’re in the Closet. We’ve had our own challenges, for sure, being Bi and Poly. It gets better. I know, it’s scary right now. We’re here for you. I’m always happy to dispense hugs, if you want them. We’ll keep working on it, bit by bit, a day at a time. You’re not alone, not ever, dear. You are LOVED, and don’t you forget it, not ever. WE LOVE YOU, even on the darkest, coldest nights, we’ve got a light burning in our hearts, and it’s lit for YOU.

In the meantime, let’s enjoy each other’s company. Let’s put up some decorations — help me figure out what goes where! We’ll go pick out a tree; I like the ones with soft needles. It’ll have to be set inside for a day to warm up. Can you believe it’s that cold out?! Then lights, ornaments, and the Sun at the top of the tree for Yule!

Sun? Well, yeah, we celebrate secular Christmas, sure. And who doesn’t love Santa Claus, the true Spirit of Giving?!? It’s just he visits our house on the Winter Solstice, when we celebrate the longest night and the return of the sun. We hold the Light of Love in our hearts and wait for the Sun, because we know it will come to meet our Light. So it’s awfully nice for you to return home to us as we stay up late and celebrate the sun’s return, too!

We’ll light the Yule candles together, and leave treats out for Santa and the reindeer. Then we’ll stay up watching movies — probably geeky ones, knowing us — as late as we can, to honor the long night. In the morning, it’s presents!!! Stockings first, loaded with food treats, and always a mandarin orange in the toe. Mine has tea and chocolate, and Kiddo’s has lego-shaped candies and peanut butter treats. Yours looks delicious! Ooh, look at all the presents under the tree; they’re all so beautiful. Thank you for all the lovely gifts, dear; I hope you liked yours, too!

And then, two weeks of glorious relaxation, doing whatever we like before everyone has to start work and school after New Years. I’m so glad you’re home for the holidays!

Happy sun return!

Love and Light my dear,

Mama Aly

20 comments

  1. Marissa says:

    Hi Mom,

    You have absolutely no idea how badly I needed to hear this today. This is my first Christmas which I have been out as gay. My father was always very abusive and my mother has virtually shunned me for, well, for being myself. She condemns everything about me. Thus, this holiday season has been incredibly difficult for me. I have felt alone, and have even begun questioning if there is really something wrong with me. It has been a long and exhausting week. Whatever holiday obligations I did attend, I was aching on the inside knowing that none of them, especially not my mother accept who I am. I try to be as gentle and loving as possible. All I wanted was a home that reciprocated that love and affection. Your words touched me more than you will ever know. I truly feel loved, even if we have not met. I feel as if I know you, and that I do truly have a home this holiday. I was directed to this page by another lgbt student at my university, and take heart that we both found great solace in your words. Thank you from the bottom of my heart from your kindness and your love…it means more to me than you know. All the best and I wish you a merry and restful holiday. Thank you.
    Peace and Love

    • Mama Aly says:

      My dear Marissa,
      It fills me up with joy to know that I helped you feel loved today. You are so worthy of love!
      I love you, truly and always, dear. You are good enough. You are beautiful the way you are. You are who you were meant to be. And you — yes, even though we shall never meet in person — you are precious to me. I treasure you! Your friend, too, and please thank them from the bottom of my heart for bringing you both home to my heart this holiday season.
      I am so proud of you! Rest as best you can, dearest, so that you can go on to give your best at University when classes start back up. You come on back here, whenever you need. Myself and the other Holiday Family, we all love you so much!
      Love,
      Mama Aly

  2. Atlas W. says:

    Dear Mama Aly,
    I am so happy to have this family adventure for the holidays, this is my first holiday out as A transguy in which didn’t go well. I hope all is well! It’s christmas morning and rereading this still makes me feel cozy. Thank you 🙂
    -Atlas

    • Mama Aly says:

      Dear Atlas,
      I know what you mean about re-reading things to make you feel cozy! Sometimes, I re-read messages from people I love over and over, just to make me feel good on rough days! It helps a lot, I think.
      Happy Christmas, my dear! If things are rough (or even if they aren’t!), you cozy up with another warm drink and settle in. We’re happy to have you with us! I’m like my grandmother: if things get a little too “adventurous” for me, I make myself a cup of tea to re-center my nerves so I can carry on. And you, dear Atlas, you hold up the world — or at least your namesake did! — so go ahead and give yourself a little rest with us before you carry on, my love. We’ll help you hold things up in the meantime.
      Love,
      Mama Aly

  3. Lucy D says:

    Hi mum!

    I’ve certainly never spent the holidays this way before but I’m looking forward to spending it with you and your family!

    I’ve been scared and worried recently about spending the holidays with my rather homophobic birth family, but your home seems so loving and warm, I can’t wait to spend the next couple of weeks with you.

    I’m Bi and still questioning my gender – I spend quite a bit of time thinking about it – but I’m hoping this year will much different.

    Happy Solstice and merry Christmas,

    Love your holiday child,

    Lucy

    • Mama Aly says:

      Dear Lucy,
      We’re super mellow, so you’ll have a nice, relaxing couple of weeks here, for sure! Perfect for easing all your worries.
      Have some big hugs, my Lucy. Holiday Dad and I have both had times in our lives when we’ve been scared; we understand the power of love over fear. We love you, darling, and always shall, unconditionally. Whatever answers you find to your questions, wherever you are, whatever you do with your beautiful life: we love you. You are welcome to use that love as a shield for your heart, any time you need it.
      Happy Solstice and Merry Christmas, dear!
      Love,
      Mama Aly

  4. Bella says:

    Dear mom,

    I’m speechless. Today was hard, really hard, and I don’t think it will get any better till I can finally leave and have my own home. It will be hard, too, I know…bills and stuff, but nothing will be worse than not having my freedom, not being able to be who I am and love my girl. It’s just…love, you know? Your words were all I needed to read so as to finish the day with a little love, once it has been all pain. Hearing from another LGBT person is even better, it gives me hope…thank you for existing. I love you too, mom. I wish you a Merry Christmas.

    Much love, your Brazilian daughter

    Bella.

    • Mama Aly says:

      My dear Bella,
      I’m glad I was able to give you love at the end of a hard day. Holiday Dad used to say to me, years ago, when things were super hard for me, “It’s ok, Aly, I’ve got a light. I’m holding it here in my heart for you.” Bella, dear, we’ve got a light here for you, and we’re holding it high so you can see it! Step by step, bit by bit, you can do it, darling.
      And if you need, come have a good solid cry with us, and maybe we’ll have some comfort food, after. To give us the strength to trek on through the tough stuff.
      We love you so much, Bella!
      Mama Aly

  5. Cassidy says:

    Hi Holiday mom!

    Thank you for being here for me this holiday season. I’m so glad to hear that people like you and Dad are living proof that none of this LGBT stuff is a phase. I’m still trying to figure out my gender at the moment (I currently identify as genderfluid because it gives me more room to figure it out, but it’s really hard to tell) but I know that one day I’ll grow up and still have pansexuality be a part of my identity, not some “fad” as my biological dad seems to think it is.

    I hope you have a wonderful holiday!!

    Your holiday child, Cassidy

    • Mama Aly says:

      Hello, my dear Cassidy!
      Holiday Dad and I are both so happy to be here for you, dear one. We sure know what it’s like to ask yourself hard questions and have to give ourselves hard answers! And, we’re *so very proud of you* as you do just that. We know you’re going to be the very best — and very truest! — you that you could possibly be!
      We love you, Cassidy!
      Happy Holidays,
      Mama Aly

    • Mama Aly says:

      Dear Robert,
      You’re so very welcome! I have a little toy for Sissy Cat, too, as I always keep a stash for our cat Luna. She’s an old kitty, so no more kittenish play but for the occasional rare moment of catnip. (Like this morning, with her new toy!)
      Wishing you a beautiful day and New Year,
      Love,
      Mama Aly

  6. Daniel says:

    Hi mom,

    Honestly I’ve never heard of the practices of Yule until you taught me. Thank you for explaining it to me as I’ve only celebrated Christmas in my biological family. I’m so happy to hear that you’re bisexual and poly and proud of it, I can’t really be proud in my home though I try when I go out in public. I am a trans boy and gay, and gosh do I love boys. I can be proud with you but I have to keep my rainbows at bay when I’m around my bio family, no one knows the real me except my boyfriend and my friends at school.
    Anyway thank you very much for letting me into your heart this holiday season I love all the chocolate treats that were in my stocking and of course the orange. It’s cold and snowy where I live too so I absolutely understand what you all are going though.
    Happy Yule and Merry Christmas, and a wonderful New Year to all.
    Love, Your Little Daniel

    • Mama Aly says:

      My dear Daniel,
      I’m so glad you loved the treats! I do love chocolate, though I try to work hard to moderate it. (Everything in moderation — *especially* moderation! Haha!)
      Love is love, as we well know, and in our hearts we love you very much, darling Daniel. You’ll make your own traditions as you grow older, traditions with as many rainbows as you like! Traditions for yourself and whatever family you choose to hold close – bio family, chosen family, the family you make… whoever you choose to love my Little Love.
      Until then, watch out for those crazy drivers in the snow, and have a Happy Yule and Merry Christmas!
      Love,
      Mama Aly

    • Rose Bliss says:

      Daniel, I’m so glad that you can at least appreciate your own rainbow and are interested in learning new things. Both of those will help you so much in the long run. There are those of us who love you just the way you are. Maybe in time your family will come around to that. Don’t give up hope.

    • Mama Aly says:

      Happy Solstice and Merry Christmas to you, too, Rose Bliss!

      It’s always nice to meet someone who celebrates similarly. (It’s also nice for me to meet people who celebrate differently, too; I’ve always enjoyed learning about other people’s traditions.) We live in an area that has families from many different traditions — Diwali, Chanukah, Christmas, Yule, and Chinese New Year are just a few. The surrounding region is largely less diverse, so I make sure we always welcome questions about our own traditions for those who are unsure. Every little bit of light helps!

      Love,
      Mama Aly

      • Rose Bliss says:

        Mama Aly, I so agree. I love learning about the history and traditions of other cultures. I sometimes borrow their ideas for my own. The more we learn about each other, hopefully, the less hate there will be. It’s going to be a trickle down effect, but eventually, it has to seep through.

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