Holiday Mom: Mama Lacy

Holiday Mom: Mama LacyMy dear holiday child,

I welcome you into my heart and into my home. We’re a young family, and our traditions are young. Some of them have roots in our childhoods, and others are all our own. I love Christmas. I treat every day from Thanksgiving to New Year’s like it’s Christmas day.

We spend a lot of dark December evenings huddled together under a blue afghan that belonged to my grandmother, watching 30-minute kids’ Christmas specials. We’ll probably sing along to the music in How the Grinch Stole Christmas. Someday our two-year-old son Emmanuel will sing with us, or roll his eyes, or whatever it is that children do when the pretend to outgrow their parents.

Dad loves jazz and plays the soundtrack to the Peanuts Christmas special by the Vince Guaraldi Trio while he makes dinner. I put on Sufjan Stevens’ holiday albums and sing along for hours. I’ll make us homemade cocoa with crushed peppermint–something I learned from my own mom.

We put the Christmas tree up together the day after Thanksgiving because I can’t wait. If it were up to me, we’d do it November 1st. It’s not what you’d call a “pretty” tree…it’s scraggly, plastic and the ornaments have never matched. But that’s why they’re special. Our tree ornaments are family heirlooms, and gifts, and handmade trinkets, illuminated by blinking rainbow lights (white lights are no fun!). It’s basically Charlie Brown’s Christmas tree, and we like it that way.

We’ll make cookies together. Every year we make Peanut Butter Kisses and Peber Noders. I always make a huge mess because I don’t bake often, but piles of flour and bits of dough in my hair are worth it if we all get to sit together and have warm cookies and milk as a family. Emmanuel is never happier than when he’s eating cookies.

We open gifts together on Christmas morning, but the real joy is in the celebration of love and generosity at the heart of the holiday season. Every year, we donate to a charitable organization in our son’s name. When he’s old enough to understand, we’ll let him choose.

You are welcome here. If someday I find out my son identifies as LGBTQIA+, he will always be welcome and loved and I will defend him to the end of my days. I will defend you. I will defend love.

Love and peace,

Your holiday mama Lacy, dad Chris, and brother Emmanuel



  1. Riley-Jayy says:

    Dear mom/mum

    Thank you for opening your home for me this holiday. things are getting hard for me recently as i have recently came out as transgender ftm. i do have family that support me but my mum isnt here as she passed away when i was 12 (i am now 17) and i just feel like she wouldnt be happy with everything i am doing to becoming who i really am but i dont know, and on top of that i started college this year. im studying to become a teacher and it is so hard, i love getting to work with the children tho as they see me as a man and have to call me sir.
    i feel like going through this transition is not worth the pain i feel everyday, im waiting to be put on hormones and that is a chance i need to wait a year and i dont know if i can wait that long because its hard.
    i hope you have a great holiday and that little Emmanuel has a great time (i have always wanted a little brother)
    love from your son in England

    • Lacy says:

      Dear Riley,

      I believe in your strength, and I hope I can help fill a little space in your heart this holiday.

      I love that you’re studying to be a teacher! Teachers are some of the most valuable and caring people I know. It’s great that the children so who you really are 🙂

      Wishing you a cozy Christmas from the States!

  2. Katelyn says:

    Dear mom,

    Thank you for this. I’m having a hard time being myself. But I’m glad to get to spend the holidays with you. Give brother a cuddle for me and thank you.


  3. Bella says:

    Dear holiday mom,

    This is your Brazilian holiday daughter, Bella. As I am Brazilian, I wasn’t aware of American Christmas traditions. They seem so nice! I am not really excited for Christmas, and every year it gets worse. Few people, boring people, hot weather and hate speech. It has been like this ever since I stopped believing Santa. This year I’m specially pschichiatrically teared apart, and I don’t know how Christmas is going to be, let alone the rest of my life…your letter has made me feel a little better. I guess I needed a little family love. Thank you for this, and thank you for reading. I needed to talk. And…if you wouldn’t mind…I would like to give you a hug…as a good Latin, I like hugs, and I’ve been kind of needing one.

    Much love,

    Bella, your little girl.

    • Lacy says:

      Dear Bella,

      I am glad I can reach you across a whole hemisphere. I’d send you snow if I could. And I would be honored to accept a hug in return.

      I am so sorry you are having a tough holiday season. My heart aches for those bear deep emotional weight as you do. Please know that not only does my family send love and support, but there are millions and millions of others who believe in you and want you to be well. Even if they don’t write letters, there are so many good people. They’re just not always as loud as those who hate.

      I hope you find a little joy this Christmas.

      Much love and many hugs,

      Mama Lacy

  4. Claudia "Dia" says:

    This letter made me smile so much. If only I had a family like this. Thank you for posting this, it was needed.

  5. Daniel says:

    Dear Mom,

    It is so wonderful that you let me into your home this holiday season. Things are getting more stressful for me, as I have been working often and just started my college exam week today. It’s hard for me to focus on the holidays until after my exams are done. I’m happy that you are here for me.
    Of course I’ll help you bake, it’s one of my favorite things as is clean up too. Though I’m a messy boy I try to clean up all my messes. I don’t much like peanut butter but I’ll gladly try a Peber Noder but I’m not sure what that is. I’m sure they’ll be delicious!
    I think it’s wonderful that you make a donation to a charity every year it’s something I would like to do too when I’m financially stable. I’m happy to say I’ll be donating some money toward The Trevor Project since they’ve helped me a ton this year.
    I am so happy that you are so accepting. Happy holidays Mom

    Love, Your Little Daniel

    • Lacy says:


      The peber noders are delicious. They’re made with cinnamon and cardamom. I don’t think I’d even had cardamom until I made the cookies the first time but it was so worth it.

      I remember when finals consumed the days leading up to the holidays. That was a rough time. I hope you’re taking care of yourself. Don’t forget to sleep! (Easier said then done.)

      I’m so glad to hear The Trevor Project has been so helpful for you. They’re a wonderful organization. And they appreciate any little amount you can give, I’m sure. Giving to charity is tough when you’re young and trying to stretch every dollar, which makes it even more meaningful when you can spare a few for an organization you support and has supported you.

      Good luck with your finals, Daniel. Take care of yourself.


      Mama Lacy

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