Holiday Mom: Jeny

Holiday Mom: JenyDear Holiday Child:

We are so excited you will be home this holiday season. We missed you last year. I can not believe we will have the whole family together again! I am so proud of all of you kids. It makes my heart so happy that I have raised strong people. You are all such good humans. It makes me cry, but you know what a softie I am. You are all so unique and different. Spencer is excelling in his career. Becca has her own family now and is completely rocking parenthood. Nolan is the same awesome nerd as usual! Then there is you, my sweet child. I am so proud of you because you live an authentic life, even if it is a struggle. I can not wait to wrap my arms around you when you get home and tell you how much I love you and have missed you.

We are going to wait for you and your siblings to get here to decorate the tree. After we get it set up in the livingroom, we will turn on the christmas music and you know how dad likes to put the fire log video on the tv. Dad strings the lights wearing his Bah Humbug hat. No matter how old you are, you kids just can’t help but get into the candy canes. When Dad is done, he and I will sit back while you kids decorate the tree. This is one of my happiest moments. Sitting there seeing all of of my kids decorating the tree. It is absolute nourishment for my soul.

After we decorate, Dad will put on A Christmas Story while you all recite the same lines and laugh. (“Fra-gee-lay” …it must be Italian!) After that, of course we have to watch Elf. You kids get to choose from the collection of holiday movies after that. Dad will make hot apple cider and I will give you all cinnamon sticks to stir with. Come hungry, you know my tendency to cook enough food for an army. I was hoping you could help make the desserts with Nolan. He is taking culinary and actually likes to cook now! After our bellies are full, we will play some games. You know our family, it will probably be Cards Against Humanity.

For your traditional Christmas Eve pjs, I bought matching family ones again this year. I had to buy 10 pair this year! Dad, me, Spencer, his girlfriend, Becca, her boyfriend, baby Carter, Nolan, his girlfriend and of course you. Let me know if you will be bringing home anyone special so that I can get them a pair too. No one gets left out in our house.

I know this has been a rough year with all of the changes and being apart so much. Just know that Dad, your sister, brothers and I are all here for you. We see you. You matter. We will always love you and will always protect you. No matter what, we can get through it together. Just like always.

I love you so much!

Mom Jeny

 

* Editors Note: For those new to our site, please understand that all conversations about meeting are meant as virtual. We do not facilitate live interactions due to our legal liabilities if we were to do so.

11 comments

  1. carter says:

    Im a 19 year old trans man and i just came out to my parents, but they dismissed it. Reading this letter literally made me cry. I feel like i just missed my flight to come home, but i realized that i am already at my parents house. I wish i was there as part of a family that was loving and accepting. Thank you so much for everything you do gor us kids mom. i really appreciate it

    • Mom Jeny says:

      Carter~

      Your letter made me cry too. I wish I could hug you until it was all better. Your virtual sister seems to have named her son after you! Little Carter is 9 months old today.

      If things get too overwhelming at your family’s house this Christmas, find a quite place to go and take a few breaths and center yourself.

      Spencer and Becca both had a hard time growing up being biracial. They never seemed to be black or whit enough for most people. YOU KNOW who you are and no other opinions matter! Like Spencer and Becca, you need to shine just a little brighter, little star! I know you can do it.

      I am proud of you for even coming out to your family. I can’t imagine how scary it must have been, however you just did one of the hardest parts, so you are already winning at being you.

  2. Tegan says:

    of all of the holiday moms, you felt the most genuine. it felt so surreal because my aboslute davourite christmas movie is ELF! and i can always go for a nice apple cider with a cinnimon stick! and making desserts is my favourite thing to do during the holidays!

    thank you for being my holiday ma,
    T

    • Mom Jeny says:

      Thank you, Tegan <3 Elf is MY favorite too! I am glad I sounded genuine, because my heart was too. That is exactly how Christmas goes down in our house.

      It sounds like you would fit in perfectly. I am sending you as much virtual love as I can for this upcoming season.

      <3 Jeny

  3. Riker says:

    Hi, I’m 16 and I’m Trangender and swing both ways. I identify as male, and my boyfriend is a transgender male too. I have a tendency to think a lot. Maybe too much. I used to think my parents would always accept me and anyone I brought home. Im starting to believe I’m very very wrong. So I’ve been preparing for the day I leave for college come out of the closet and am not allowed back home or at least not treated the same. And I found this website and honestly reading your letter was everything I needed. Thank you for having a open mind and being a very kind hearted person.

    • Mom Jeny says:

      Riker~

      I am so happy that my letter was of any help to you. I want you to remember one thing:

      YOU ARE WORTHY!

      You are worthy of love. You are worthy of happiness. You are worthy of success. You are worthy of kindness. You are worthy of compassion. DO NOT let anyone make you think any different.

      Unfortunately we do not always receive these messages from people who are blood related to us, but that does not mean that it isn’t true.

      I have many “children” that I did not give birth to and you are now one too.

      I am sending lots of love to you.
      Jeny

  4. Sky says:

    Hey Jeny,

    My name is Sky and I am a 17 year old transgender boy. I came out to my parents 3 years ago, but it’s still hard. My mom tells me about how she mourns the loss of her daughter, as if the person I am is dead. And my dad gets drunk and tells me that I’m an attention craver and that he can call me whatever he wants. He calls me stupid and a faggot a lot. It’s especially hard around the holidays. Everyone gets more stressed and it just piles up. I love that you get matching pjs because we do too. Obviously, I’ll never see you in real life, but I like to imagine a world where you were my family and I felt safe. Thankfully I’ll be going to college next year (I just got accepted to Sarah Lawrence- yay!) so I can have some time away from my real home. I hope you and everyone has a good Christmas! I have been with the same boyfriend for 3 and a half years and I have this fake world where we can just show up on your doorstep with a plate of ginger orange cookies (half dipped in chocolate I might add) and just be warm and welcomed. Thank you for letting me indulge in this fantasy, even if it’s only for a little while.

    Love your holiday son,

    Sky

    • Gloria says:

      Congratulations for Sarah Lawrence, Sky! All the way from Europe I send you and your boyfriend all the love you deserve. Have the best holidays, and please keep your chin up, take good care of yourself, and don’t let anyone bring you down. We ARE your family, and we love you.

      Muack! (Thats a kiss over here, LOL)

    • Mom Jeny says:

      Dear Sky,

      I am SO proud of your for getting into Sara Lawrence! That is a great school. I can almost taste the ginger orange cookies too!

      We have a snow day here, so your brother, Nolan and our 2 Aussie exchange students are out sledding. I can imagine you and your boyfriend out there having fun with them! Your sister, Becca, is SO jealous she isn’t home for the snow.

      You deserve only the best and I want you to remember that. You are not any of the things your family says you are. You are a gift and should only be cherished.

      As I have told ALL of my kids (whether they are blood or not) is that all I want is for you to be happy. Nothing else matters. It sounds like that happiness is within your grasp soon and you can start your new, authentic life.

      In honor of you and your boyfriend, I will buy 2 more matching sets of pajamas and donate them to a local LGBTQQ program that partners with the GSA club that I advise.

      Sending you love and light this holiday,

      Your virtual holiday Mom,
      Jeny

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