Holiday Mom: Mommy Stacie

m20161204My Dearest Holiday Child,

I am so looking forward to Christmas this year!  It’s always been my favorite holiday but having you here makes our family gathering feel complete.

In our family, the main event is Christmas Eve night.  We’ll go to your grandparent’s house early on Christmas Eve morning so that we can help Grammy with the last minute preparations.  The first task is decorating Christmas cookies, your aunt Arlene’s special recipe.  The secret is a splash of almond extract (but don’t tell anyone!).  Your little sister gets a little too enthusiastic and covers everything near her in bits of colored frosting and sprinkles!  She requested purple frosting this year, but no one minds eating a purple snowman because it makes her so happy.  While we decorate the last few cookies, Papa pulls the ham out of the oven and tries to sneak a few bites without Grammy noticing.  The whole house now smells like Christmas.

Before long, the rest of the family starts to arrive.  Once the adults have all had a glass or two of wine, someone puts on the Mitch Miller CD.  We all start to sing along.  It’s a point of pride to know all of the lyrics to dozens of Christmas carols.  Your sister sings along, making up her own words.  Once the little kids have gone to bed, it’s time to stuff the stockings and have one last cookie before getting a few hours of sleep because no one sleeps in on Christmas morning.

Sure enough, your sister is up before the sun!  As soon as your baby brother has been fed and changed, we all file into the living room and exclaim at the giant stack of presents surrounding the tree.  The adults grab a much needed cup of coffee while your sister opens her stocking.  Since it’s your brother’s first Christmas, she decides to help him with his stocking too.  As the presents are passed around, Grammy gets the homemade cinnamon rolls into the oven.  We open gifts as the smell of warm bread and cinnamon fills the house.  By mid-morning, your brother is sleeping soundly in my arms, your sister is begging you to play with each of her new toys in turn, Papa has escaped for a quick nap and Grammy is starting to clean up the torn paper.

This is my favorite moment.  Just sitting on the sofa, watching the people I love the most enjoy a rare moment of pure joy.  My heart feels like it could burst with the love I feel for you, my special holiday child.  I could stay in this moment forever.  Too soon, it will be time to reenter the world but I will always be waiting right here, to give you a hug and tell you that you are loved.  That’s a mother’s job, and it’s the best job in the whole world.  We love our children beyond all measure and without reserve.

I’m so happy you were here for Christmas.  The memories of our time together will forever make me smile.

Love you always,

Mommy Stacie


* Editors Note: For those new to our site, please understand that all conversations about meeting are meant as virtual. We do not facilitate live interactions due to our legal liabilities if we were to do so.


  1. Taylor says:

    I’m lucky enough to have *family* that are fine with my being a bi woman, but I’m not going to get to see any of the by-blood ones this year (and a lot of hard things have been happening with them) so I really appreciate you being a Holiday Mom because it lets me feel a little more of the holiday spirit.

    (I’m not 100% sure I ever demanded *purple* but there was definitely one year where I was all “there are colors on the side of the box I want to make them please?” so I would gently high-five my sister and eat purple snowmen).

    Put me down for at least a couple of those cinnamon rolls? I’ll even wash dishes or make grocery runs (just nothing that requires cooking skills considering I once burned gravy :)).

    Love and hugs,


  2. Dylan says:

    Hi Mommy Stacie
    I’ll make sure to be up with the little ones on Christmas morning! I love to bake and I know this amazing snickerdoodle cookie recipie. Do you think Aunt Arlene will like it? I hope she does. I also know some fun songs we could sing while we bake. I’ve done this with my bestfriend and neither if us can sing very well so it makes it so much more fun.
    Thank you so much for your letter. I showed it to my girlfriend and she started tearing up a bit.
    Love your gender-fluid child, Dylan

    • Mommy Stacie says:

      I love snickerdoodles! And singing just for fun, even if you’re not the best singer.
      Much love to you Dylan.

  3. Grace says:

    Hey mama.

    I can’t wait to help decorate cookies and play with my little sister! I hope you’ll all be impressed with how many Christmas carols I know, too. And I can’t wait to eat the cinnamon rolls! How’d you know they’re my favorites?

    Things over here haven’t been well for a while. The word “lesbian” has become a taboo in my household since I came out. My bio dad thinks I’m instantly in love with every girl I see and gets paranoid when I have anyone over. If it’s a guy, he pushes for us to start dating. If it’s a girl, he doesn’t look at me.

    I eventually started going to other places to socialize instead.

    It’s a weird feeling when you don’t feel accepted in the place you spend most of your time, so I’m extremely thankful for your letter. Something about knowing my bio mom will never say these words makes this extremely special to me.

    Thank you so mych. You’re a wonderful human being and the world is so lucky to have you in it.

    I love you, thank you again mama.
    Merry Christmas!

    • Your Holiday Ciocia says:

      Hi Grace,

      You are always welcome here. We will hang an extra stocking for you.

    • Eiko says:

      Hi Grace,

      I’m so sorry that you don’t feel accepted in your own home. Please know that you would be welcomed and loved in mine. I have a little girl who would love to sing Christmas carols with you!

      Much love,

    • Mommy Stacie says:

      Dearest Grace,
      I’m soooo going to challenge you to a Christmas carols sing off this year! Cinnamon rolls are my favorite too. They warm you from the inside out.

      You are a spectacular person, inside and out, don’t ever let anyone tell you otherwise. I love you, sweetheart.

  4. Kaitlyn says:

    Hi momma Stacie!,
    I love baking 🙂 the family that i live with doesnt bake much, but id love to learn how to cook special cookies with you. you could teach me new recipes and how to mix dough and everything! This time of the year is always hard for me, but hopefully this one will be better.

    • Your Holiday Ciocia says:

      Hi Kaitlyn,

      It would be fun to bake with you too what kind of cookies do you like to make?

    • Mommy Stacie says:

      Hi Kaitlyn!

      I have a whole list of cookies we could make! I absolutely love baking and can’t wait to teach you. The hardest part is managing not to eat all of the dough before it can be put in the oven.

      Stay strong and always know that you are an amazing person who is worthy of love.

  5. samuel says:

    Hey mum,
    I wanted to say thanks for the kind word after a long weekend and I can’t wait to see you, pa, and grammy this year!
    With lots of love

    • Mommy Stacie says:

      Hi Sammy,

      Papa and Grammy are looking forward to seeing you too. Just remember to speak up, Papa’s hearing is terrible! But he gives great hugs.

      I hope your week is getting better. Chin up my child, I’ll be right here whenever you need a shoulder to lean on or an ear to listen.

  6. Ian Wonderboy says:

    Dearest Ma,
    It’s so good to hear from you. Life has been really tough. I can’t feel accepted here, they silently judge me for being transgender.

    One of my favorite moments of the holidays is decorating the cookies. Do not worry if a complete tray disappears, they will be in good hands. Also, cinnamon rolls are my thing!! I have a new friend, James (he is super cute, and a readhead) says they are the most important meal of the day! I hope Papa leaves some ham for us!

    I don’t really sleep at night, I’m so anxious. I know I’m not a little boy now, but I still get excited easily. Maybe I should stop drinking so much coffee. Who am I kidding? That won’t happen!!

    People like you make of Christmas my favorite holiday. You always make me feel better, even when I am about to give up. I want to give you a bear hug, to tell you how much I love you, and to let you know you are so important to me, but I don’t think words will ever describe exactly this feeling.

    You are an amazing mother and a strong role model. I don’t have anything to be afraid of when I’m with you. This was by far one of the best Christmas holidays ever. Thank you for having faith on me.

    I love my family so much, you, my siblings, Papa, my aunts and uncles, Grammy.

    By the way, would it be okay for James to come for a Christmas meal around noon? We want to see each other, and also he wants to meet my family. I already picture my uncle’s jokes, I won’t hear the end of it!!

    I love you, Mommy, remember me, please
    Ian, your beloved transgender son

  7. Ian Wonderboy says:

    Hello, Ma,
    I hope you are alright. I’ve had a hard time with being who I am. I am not out of the closet yet to my bio family, but I plan on doing it during this holidays. However, I’m so scared it will go wrong, I’m sure I will be kicked out. By my own mother, ha, just because I’m transgender. Life is kind of funny sometimes, right?
    Anyways, Christmas ham sounds awesome. I want to give you one of my special bear hugs, and to give my sis a piggy ride. One of my favorite things is decorating cookies, and I will probably sneak one or two out of the tray when Grammy isn’t looking.
    I will probably cause a disaster, like last year’s, when I accidentally tripped over the rug and pushed the Christmas tree. However, I swear I will be extra careful because of my baby bro there. I can’t wait to teach him how to drive!
    I got an amazing present for you and Pa this year, but it’s a surprise!! You will find out what it is when I get home.
    I gotta go, I need to finish this essay for Wednesday or else my professor will rip my head, or Phoenix (did I tell you about him?) will tell me how irresponsible I am, AGAIN.
    Lots of love for all the family, I love you guys so so so much. And thank you, for giving me hope on the world and its people.
    Yours truly,

    • Your Holiday Ciocia says:

      Hi Ian,

      Good luck on your paper, finals can be busy, hang in there!

    • Mommy Stacie says:

      Dear Ian,
      Your sweet words made me cry! I love bear hugs and cuddles on the sofa and coffee. Please bring James to dinner, I can’t wait to meet him! If he’s as special as you say, I just know we’ll all love him.

      My lovely boy, all I will ever want for you is to be happy. And, to pass your class! Study hard and I’ll save an extra big platter of cookies, just for you

      PS, I’ve been known to trip on the rug too, guess we know where you get it!

  8. Mikey C. says:

    Dear Mommy Stacie,
    This letter honestly made me tear up with happiness. While I do have a supportive parent, I don’t live with her or near her so reading such kind words makes me really happy. Thank you so much for contributing to something as amazing as this.

    • Your Holiday Ciocia says:

      Hi Mikey,

      I love that I have so many more holiday nieces and nephews from all over, though I wish we had a better non gendered term for nieces and nephews. 🙂

  9. James says:

    Hey mommy

    This was such a wonderful letter to read. I’ve had a rough day and it warmed my heart so much to have you talk to me. Christmas ham sounds wonderful, and I love cinnamon rolls so much I think I could eat a whole tray! But don’t worry, I’ll make sure to share this time.
    Thank you for brightening my day.

    • Your Holiday Ciocia says:

      Hi James,

      I hope you get a chance to get some rest and have a better day tomorrow.

    • Mommy Stacie says:

      Hi James,
      Cinnamon rolls are my favorite too, I’ll race you to the kitchen to see who gets the biggest one!

  10. Oliver F. says:

    Thank you mom. I was kicked out my house in january for being transgender. This will be my first christmas without my family and to know that you guys are here and that i can ‘be with’ you and your family means so much. I love you guys and its incredible what you’re doing. I really really appreciate this.

    • Your Holiday Ciocia says:

      Hi Oliver,

      I’m sorry to hear your bio family will not be around this year. You are always welcome here and we will save a cozy spot by the fire for you.

    • Mommy Stacie says:

      Dear Oliver,
      You will always be welcome in my home. I will wrap you in love and tell you that you are perfect. Don’t ever forget that or let anyone tell you to be anything other than your authentic self.

  11. Zack says:

    Thank you so much Mama Stacie.This was amazing and just the best Christmas ever. I can’t wait til next year.

  12. Daniel says:

    Hi mom,
    Wow your Christmas sounds so exciting I wish I could have something like that in my bio family. Christmas has stopped being exciting since my brother got into his teen years and he learned Santa doesn’t exist. All we really do is open presents in the morning and disperse for the day. I wish we could have something as magical as yours.
    I’m so happy you let me join you this year, I love decorating cookies and purple is my favorite color too so I absolutely don’t mind a purple snowman. I’ll help out best I can and I’ll refrain from drinking because I’m not 21 yet. I’ll definitely play with my sister and her toys and always eat until I get full.
    Thank you so much for your wonderful gift of acceptance this year you have no idea how much it means to me.
    Happy new year!
    Love, Your Little Daniel

    • Mommy Stacie says:

      Dear Little Daniel,
      Christmas doesn’t stop being magical just because you become an adult. It just means you get to help create the magic! We’ll be saving a purple cookie, just for you.

  13. Valerie says:

    Hi holiday mama Stacie,
    This sounds so wonderful! I am so happy to be here and thank you for the letter! I’d love to help bake, we could share all kinds of recipes and bake them together, I think my holiday siblings would like some of them too and the oldest (and maybe the youngest) could help out too. I’ve baked efore with a four-year-old and a two-year-old and that worked out well, so I think it would be fun 🙂
    Lots of love,

    • Mommy Stacie says:

      Hi Valerie,
      Your little sister loves to bake and is an excellent taste tester. I can’t wait to swap some recipes and see what we can create.

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