Holiday Sibling: Sister Brit

m20161127Happy holidays, holiday sibling! I wish we all had awesome bio-families to be with on the holidays in the greeting cards, but unfortunately the world doesn’t always work out like that, particularly for us queer folk. Which is why our chosen families are so important, and I am so, so happy you’ve chosen to join me and my other chosen siblings for our holiday celebrations.

None of us are particularly religious, but Christmas is hard for most of us anyway. We start our celebrations the day before, with Baking Our Feelings, Christmas Edition. It’s a funny day, a mix of camaraderie and bittersweet longing, of joy and family and processing loss. And also so much sugar! I think you’ll really enjoy being here. I’ve got all the supplies you should need to make some of your favorite holiday treats, so pick out a recipe and bring it along. It’s okay if you don’t know how to make it—between the internet and the eight of us, we’ll figure out something close.

You’re welcome to dive in and get your hands dirty or to sit quietly and nurse a cup of tea. We all have some pretty complicated feelings around the holidays—I call it the “nostalgia for the family I didn’t have” and it’s okay if you’re feeling some of that right now. Do what we do—sit with the feeling until it becomes too intense, then drown it in a whole day of baking and stuffing Christmas cookies in your face.

Most folks scatter back home late Christmas Eve, but I’ve got a cozy guest room set up, if you’d like to stay? It’ll be a quiet night, lit by the glow of my tiny tree.

In the morning, it’s time for No Stress Christmas. Bio family might not be an option but, I can sure throw a lovely event that is exactly what I want right now—and that includes you right here with us, along with anyone else who needs a place on Christmas Day. You can sleep in a bit late, if you want, but make sure to be up around 10:00 if you want to snag a waffle! Usually I pile mine high with ice cream, maple syrup, and bacon. Hey, just because we’re holiday siblings doesn’t mean you can judge me! It’s delicious! Do you want one?

Did you remember your stuff for the stocking stuffer exchange? Wait, I didn’t tell you about that? Er. Sorry. But I always have extras, and here’s a stocking just for you! There should be a little silly gift and a tasty treat from everyone inside. Go ahead and open it while I put on Die Hard.

Are you a person who paints your nails? I’m going paint teeny penguins on mine—you’re welcome to join me. Otherwise, settle down on the floor to do some glitter crafts or color a curse-word coloring sheet (so cathartic!) while the movie plays.

That ham sure is smelling good, isn’t it? (Er, are you a vegetarian now? I can’t remember. I have a veggie roast on too though! Everyone should have a good holiday meal.) It won’t be ready for a while yet, but there should be lots of snacks around—plus all the cookies from Baking Our Feelings!—while we’re waiting.

Otherwise, just relax and whittle away a calm and indulgent day with all of us, Christmas cheer encouraged but optional. It’s not perfect, but hey, neither are we. And that’s okay! We love you exactly as you are, holiday sibling, and we’re so glad you joined us.

Love,

Sister Brit

11 comments

  1. Gidget (Temporary chosen name) says:

    Thank you, though I still have my bio-family around me constantly which annoys me im happy to be able to retreat to the online world to find people who are loving and supportive even if you never actually meet them in real life. I wantbto wish you a merry christmas Brit even though it may or may not mean a happy time of year. May everyone who reads this be safe!

  2. Lilly-McKenzie says:

    I love mom letters in general. I start to cry because I wish I was loved like this by real family but you make my life a lot better with these letters.
    Thank you

    • Brit says:

      I have decided the family I have created for myself is my real family. It took me a long time to stop pouring energy into people who weren’t pouring it back into me, and cutting off contact with the toxic parts of my bio-family was one of the hardest things I have ever done, but also one of the best things. Find people who love you and sustain you, and pour all your love in them in return. Sending you giant holiday hugs. <3 <3 <3

  3. Cassidy says:

    Hey sis!

    I love your way of dealing with overwhelming feelings – drowning it in sugar. It’s what I always do! I’d love to try one of your fancy waffles as you make it sound like I’m definitely missing out on something good!
    My nails are all silver right now but could use some spicing up. I can’t wait to see how yours turn out once you have little penguins on them!

    I hope your holiday season is wonderful and that everything goes better than you hope. :)

    ~Your holiday sibling, Cassidy

    • Brit says:

      Right now, my nails have a night sky and constellations! Left-hand Northern hemisphere (Big Dipper, Orion, North Star….), right hand Southern Hemisphere (Carina, Southern Cross…) I have too much fun with this.

      You are definitely missing out on the waffles! Rectify that ASAP!

    • Brit says:

      There is nothing so cathartic as a curse word coloring page! I fully support the use of all the glitter.

  4. Pedro says:

    I really enjoyed reading this one, it made me feel so warm and happy, the holidays a definitely a downer sometimes and it’s nice to have something like this. Thank you Brit.

    • Brit says:

      You are most welcome. The holidays can be brutal. I strongly recommend coping by giving yourself permission to do exactly what you want to do.

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