I wanted to start this letter off by telling you how honored I am to have this opportunity to write to you. I know that this time of year can be difficult and at times it easy to feel alone, despite the merry festivities surrounding us. So I write you this letter to let you know that you are not alone and there are people who are thinking of you. As your adopted holiday mom, I know that as a member of the lesbian, gay, bisexual, transgender, or queer/questioning community, this time of year can be especially trying for you… for many, many reasons. What I want you to see is that you are not alone because you have me, and all of the other moms who are posting on this blog. I may not have met you or even know you personally but I will be thinking of you this holiday season and hoping you feel the warmth and love being sent your way.
I don’t know what this time of year, brings for you. But I do know the road that has led you here has most likely been a difficult road to travel. I know that you might feel sad because of your family’s inability to accept your sexual orientation. Maybe you don’t feel comfortable bringing your partner to your holiday party or maybe you are not allowed to bring your partner to your corporate party. I know these feelings bring you a lot of anxiety and that sometimes you may feel ashamed. But I want you to be proud of who you are and everything that makes you the individual you are. I want you to know that I would never judge you for who you love. I would embrace you and your partner with the same love that I embrace my own two children with. I am proud of you and the strength you show each and every day. When you are feeling lonely, sad and unloved, remember that I am PROUD of you. I know it is so incredibly hard living in a world that treats you like your love doesn’t count, that you don’t feel the same way everyone else feels. But I encourage you to keep sharing your love with your partner. I want to tell you that your love counts! Your heart and all the love it has to share with your special someone MATTERS. We know you love your partner and want more than anything else to be able to share that love openly. So my advice to you is for you and your partner to continue to love each other and love each other even stronger during this holiday season. You are a part of each other, you understand each other, you share in your struggles, but more importantly you ACCEPT and LOVE each other. So don’t give up on sharing your love.
Some people may feel down Others may be feeling down because you feel that you can’t come out, and you are getting so weary of always hiding the real you. You may have to get all dressed up in a fancy dress that couldn’t be farther from who you truly are, and you’re tired of hoping for the day that you wake up in the body you know really belongs to you, not the one you have. Pretending to like the football jersey you find under the holiday tree, when all you really want is a purse filled with make-up and brushes, gets pretty old. Please remember you are not alone. There are lots and lots of people out here who understand and appreciate your feelings and accept you for who you really are! I APPRECIATE your feelings. I ACCEPT you for who you really are! I ACCEPT every part of you male or female. Your gender identity is real, and you were born with a body that does not match the rest of you. I want you to take just a moment today to stand in front of your mirror, look yourself in the eye, and see how special you are Feel my hug as I tell you how proud I am of you for being so brave and never giving up.
I am a mother of two little girls who are age 4 and age 7. I try to teach them manners, acceptance, patience, and love. I tell my daughters everyone is different. That people come in in all shapes and sizes. I tell them it is not okay to laugh at someone or bully someone because they look, talk, or act different. My girls have been taught that it is important to be accepting of all individuals. I have also told my children to embrace their individuality. I teach them to love themselves, to love what is different about themselves, and to never stop believing that they can do anything they want to do. As your adoptive holiday mom I am going to tell you the same things: Love Yourself, Accept Yourself, Love Yourself, Believe in Yourself. Never stop believing that you have the power to make a difference in this world. You have a purpose. You are important. You are loved. As my adopted, holiday child, I will think of you often and not just during this holiday season. I wish for you only the best things life has to offer. I wish you love, kindness, happiness and acceptance. I want you to know that someone cares about you and wants to make sure you are safe. There is no one in the world exactly like you and that is what makes you beautiful. You are important. You are loved. You are not alone.
All my love,
Holiday Mom Denise