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Hi There My Adopted Holiday Child!
I am so glad to be spending this moment with you.
This holiday, I wanted to do something that would make my son proud of the mom he knew. You see in 1999, I lost Josh, my only child, just two months shy of his 22nd birthday. I was a single mom and he had always kept me on my toes. I think the one moment that really made me proud of him and reflected back to me the merit of my unconventional child-rearing techniques (which pretty much consisted of, “How the hell do I raise a child?”) was when he came to me in middle school to tell me he couldn’t be like everyone else. He could only swim upstream. He had tried fitting in, but being true to himself was so much easier than being like everyone else. It didn’t mean sometimes he didn’t feel left out of the dance, but it meant he knew he would be able look himself in the eye and smile . . . eventually.
So when I saw the chance to be YOUR Holiday Mom this year, I thought, “WHY, OF COURSE!” My heart is full of big, wide-open spaces for a whole host of holiday kids, just like the Montana I live in.
I know how the holidays can be difficult, especially for those who are without family, no matter what the reason. How oftentimes the “humbug” we feel isn’t what we want to feel, but just is what we feel. It is a particularly difficult time when we find we aren’t able to really express who we are – I know that happens a lot in the LGBTQ community.
That glittery holiday dress you delight in isn’t something you are permitted to wear because you don’t fit society’s accepted mold. The frustrations of having to attend gatherings for work without your partners, or having to sneak around to openly express who you are. Listening to everyone talk about the plans with their family knowing that your family no longer welcomes you, or feeling like a house full of your own children someday is only a dream.
This year, I want you to know that there is someone you can be yourself with. So imagine joining me for the Holidays. Let’s sing those annoying carols. You know, the ones that make you laugh and especially the ones that warm you so deep down, you can’t help but feel you are part of something wonderful. Come tell me about the crazy people out there shopping that get under your skin, the mistletoe at the party you so wanted to stand under, and the cookie exchange at work you felt uncomfortable joining. Really tell me about what this holiday season has evolved into for you. Share with me those wistful memories of family Christmas (if you have them, or even the bad ones, if that’s your reality), and let me listen as you work your way through those times to where we are right now in 2012. Imagine me seeing who you have become and hearing how your own traditions are reflective of the road you travel and of the people who understand what makes you tick.
I have a hug and a warm cup of cider, spiked or unspiked (if you are of age!), waiting for you. Imagine us sharing Christmas, and together we can build some new memories!
Love & Hugs,
Your Adopted Mom, Teri