How To Help

Thank you for your interest in helping out at!


Our audience grows each year, so we are always in need of moms (and dads, siblings, grandparents, and friends!) to comment in reply to our LGBTQ youth who are leaving comments. It is our goal for NO comment from our youth to go unanswered by a loving mom or friend. We can only do that with your help.

If you would like to reply to one of our LGBTQ youth, we ask that you follow these two guidelines:

  • Be kind and supportive, but do not offer advice. Our youth wish most of all to be heard! Even well-meaning advice often comes out as sounding less than supportive. “Just love” is our rule of thumb.
  • Do not include direct contact information or invitations to connect offsite (we must delete these comments for legal reasons).


We currently have all our letters set for the 2017 year! Thank you Moms! Click here to be notified when we start collecting letters for next season.

Thank you again for your loving support and another wonderful year of saving lives through positive social change!


  1. Vic says:

    I’m really happy I found this website today. I’m a 16 year old bisexual/ace transguy and my dysphoria has been really bad lately that sometimes I feel like I’m not gonna ever transition. Sometimes I wonder if I’m really trans because of people, my parents are supportive of me but it just feels like they aren’t trying and it kills me. They do try sometimes but it’s just.. idk sometimes I think that suicide is the better option that I have and I know I shouldn’t think that but I can’t help it. With that and my deep rooted anxiety, it’s hard for me to correct people and I was going to make 2018 the year I start T but I just don’t know how to bring it up to my parents, I mean the worst they can say is not till I’m 18 right? They do love and support me but sometimes it doesn’t feel like it.. I know they do but it’s just hard.

    • Lisa says:

      I really hope you are having a better day today. I’m 57 and finally feel ok with myself. One thing I’m positive of is, the world is a better place with you in it, sending you love.

  2. Corey says:

    I love this site. I’m 16 and a pansexual trans boy. I’m not out to any of my family because they think all LGBT people are abominations. My life is full of homophobia and transphobia. I see a therapist for severe anxiety and depression rooted in my home life. But coming to your website has made me feel loved and supported in a way I am unfamiliar with. Thank you so much.

    • Tabitha says:

      You are not an abomination. Stay “in” as long as you need to in order to stay safe. Just know that there are people out here who love and accept you for all of you. May you someday feel safe coming out, and when you do, may you find the love and acceptance you deserve from those you love.

      Until then, big hugs to you.

    • Alex says:

      I know it seems impossible right now, but there will be a time when you are free to be who you are, and you will be surrounded by loving people who support you and love you for who you are. You deserve to be loved and accepted, you deserve to be respected. I’m sorry that you don’t have enough of that in your life right now. Please know that there are those who care about you so much. Any of the other commenters here, whether they are like you and looking for a place to be themselves, or those of us who are on the other side and trying to offer comfort, ANY of us would gladly call you family. You are not alone.

    • Fran says:

      Hang in there. You are not alone. So glad to hear you are seeing a therapist – great job taking care of yourself! Stay healthy and committed to having a great life – you can make it happen.

  3. Martina says:

    Hi everyone! I’m Martina, nice to meet you.
    First of all: I apologise for my bad English, it is not my first language.
    I’m 19 and I’m lesbian. I’m so glad I found this beautiful website, I definitely needed it.
    I realised I was lesbian when I was 14 and I kept it a secret for a while because I was scared of my parents’ reaction… especially my father’s. My father is not a really nice person. I mean, I love him anyway because he is my dad, but because of him I have lots of traumas, physical and verbal abuse you know how that works…
    I decided to tell my mother when I was about 15 and she got very angry at me, telling me I was wrong and confused, that it was a phase… the usual stuff. I suffered because she kept ignoring my coming out and just kept acting like I’ve never told her I like girls.
    Our relationship has never been that great, but from that moment it became worse.
    Expecially when my father found out I had a girlfriend, I was 18. My mom just pretended she knew nothing about it and did nothing to defend me when my father screamed at me horrible things, hit me… he also locked me in a room and kept insulting me ’till I had a severe panick attack, I don’t really remember what happened but I think had a very big crisis and even convulsions.
    And he didn’t care. She didn’t care. None cared. None did anything to stop him.
    I didn’t expect my brothers to defend me, because they’re scared of him too… but my mom… I can’t believe she did nothing when I was dying inside. She just watched me cry and she even agreed with my dad.
    It was horrible. Unfortunately I still live with them and I feel so lonely…
    I wish I had a supportive family.
    Holydays are the worst, since my relatives are extremely religious and homophobes.
    I just needed to vent, I’m sorry.
    Thank you so much for creating this website, I feel loved and accepted, even if my real life sucks.
    I love you all, thank you.♡
    Happy holydays♡

    • Sara G says:

      I’m sorry that your family is not accepting. Hopefully they come around one day. I am just a student in the United States but I wanted to take my time and come here. I am not a mom but I wish you the best for the holidays. I wish you all the best and remember, family is not always blood related. Wish you the best and happy holidays!

    • Your internet sister, Marli says:

      I am so very glad that you fund us here! I’m so very sorry about everything that happened, especially with your coming out. It’s scary enough as is, but no one should have to deal with what you were through. It’s very easy to feel isolated and alone right now, but everyone here loves you and we care! I hope your holiday turns out better than expected <3

      • Martina says:

        Thank you so much♡
        Holidays turned out as I expected but I’m trying to spend more time with my friends instead of my family♡
        Happy new year!

    • Mom Sara says:

      Martina, I’m so glad you found this page and when things are hard this holoday season you can read messages of love and support. Thank you for sharing your journey, may you know peace and remember how loved you are when you read these posts

    • Rhiannon says:

      Martina, you deserve to be loved and accepted for exactly who you are, and you deserve people to stand up for you when you’re being treated poorly. As you grow you’ll connect with people who nourish you and take care of your heart!
      I’m a lesbian myself, and a mother of two, and this holiday I’ll be thinking of you and celebrating your place in this world!

      • Martina says:

        Thank you so much for your kind words, I’ll keep them in my heart.♡
        Also, knowing that you’re not only a mother, but a lesbian mother gives me hope and makes me feel better about myself.
        Happy new year to you and your beautiful family. 🙂

  4. Sara says:

    Hi my name is Sara and I identify as bisexual. This is not the first Christmas without my Mom, but it is the most painful. About a month ago I completely cut her out of my life entirely because she does not accept or respect me or my relationship with my girlfriend. My partner means more to me than anything, she saved me in many ways, and we currently live together. My mom and I have always had a toxic relationship, but when I came out it worsened. I could tell that she would never look at me the same again and would see me as a “sin.” It hurts to think that my own mom considers the person I am and the person I’m trying to love to be wrong, invalid, unacceptable, and dirty. It hurts that she knows how much I’m hurting and won’t do anything.
    My family has been going through years of intergenerational trauma , suicide, alcoholism, loss of culture, and broken relationships. My mom was most affected out of the entire family. From her own relationship with her mom and childhood she did not receive the proper parenting skills a mother should have. She does not show affection or compassion towards me often and has says I love you to me way too little.
    I miss my mom every day and I wish she would reach out so bad. It’s going to be Christmas soon. I hope she thinks of me with warmth in her heart on that day.

    • Tabitha says:

      Oh, Sara.

      I’m so sorry. This is my first Christmas after cutting my dad out of myself life completely, not due to sexuality, but because of that inter-generational trauma you mentioned. He’s just not a good person.

      Holidays are so hard, because so much of society tells us we need to be around our family for them. I still struggle with it.

      In other words, to some degree, I get it. You are not alone. I love you and I wish you peace and happiness this Christmas, and every day.

      Your partner sounds like an amazing person. May the two of you find a chosen family that accepts you with love and understanding, and without caveats. You are as you are meant to be.

      I’m probably not old enough to be an adopted mom for you, but if you’ll have me, I’ll stand by you as a sister, who always has your back.

      All my love, today, and forever.

      – Tabitha-

      • Sara says:

        Your comment brought absolute tears to my eyes. I am so grateful for you. Thank you for reaching out and for not making me feel alone this Christmas. I wish you the happiest of Christmas’. Every day I have read your message and have only been able to find the right words now. Every day I experience many inner battles and challenges and every single time I have had one I have read your message to get me through it. Thank you sister.

    • Kate mama says:

      Sara – There is nothing wrong, invalid, unacceptable, and dirty about who you are. Living into the person you were created to be is a beautiful thing.

      Love you always – Kate mama

    • Nicole says:


      My heart aches for you sweet girl. You’re so kind and loving to try and understand the root of your mom’s behavior but my sweet child- you should be shown love.

      I want you to know that in my heart I’m hugging you tight. Holding you and wiping your tears as I tell you that you are valued and strong. You are beautiful and wanted. You are good and worthy. I will be thinking of you and on Christmas morning at our home we will be wishing you a Merry Christmas.

  5. Radios says:


    My name is Radios and I’m a gender-fluid pansexual who is debating on going full male. I just wanted to say something.

    I’ve grown up knowing I was different and I did,t tell anyone. I grew up liking girls and only started getting an interest in other genders at around 8th grade. That was also he time I realized I was not straight.
    At the time I thought my parents too be understanding individuals but when I had told them I was interested in a girl they immediately told me to pack my bags and get out. At age 12 I was living with an aunt I had never heard of.
    I have gone Christmas, Thanksgivings, and Easters separated from all of my family. It has been hard and as a sort of coping mechanism and a sign over control over my life I have had a history of eating disorders and self harm. No one I could call mom or dad has been there for me and I haven’t seen my brother since I left, he would be 14 now.
    There have been days of sitting around trying to think what I did wrong and nights of tear streaks and soaked pillows. Until I found this really.
    I feel as if I’m off away from home. Getting mail from my family to my college dorm. Almost as if my family is really there for me and I’m just too far to see them for the holidays. It makes the holidays feel less like a time to drown my sorrows in video games and arts and crafts and more like, well, the holidays. This year I’m actually going to a Christmas party instead of being Ebenezer Scrooge.

    Thank you so much. You have no idea how much this means to me and I’m sure there are others who feel the same if not more grateful. Just taking your time and writing letters to LGBTQ+ youth is more then we could ever ask for from a stranger. Thank you! Thank you! Thank you!!!

    With Gratitude,

    • Your internet sister, Marli says:

      Hey Radios!
      I know that it must have been very hard for you these past few years. I understand how it feels to be so far removed from your family. I’m very glad that you found us here! We love you and will support you unconditionally.
      From one college student to another, good luck with finals. The holiday season is here and I hope you have a great deal of fun at the party.
      You say that you are grateful to us for writing letters in reply to everyone. But really it’s the LGBTQ+ youth who are being brave and sending in their letters!
      So thank YOU Radios.

    • Auntie Hay says:

      Hi Radios-
      I’m so glad you found us here, and I am greatful to you for sharing your heart, and such kind words.
      You’ve been through so much, and I’m so proud of you for hanging in there- we need more brave and amazing people like you in the world.
      While we may be far apart, the family here really does care for you, and I will be thinking of you this holiday season.
      All my love,
      Auntie Hay

    • Grandma Susan says:

      Dear Radios, hi there! I’m so happy to hear you’re going to a Christmas party and I hope you have a wonderful time. Sometimes it’s hard to get out and do things during the holidays, when it’s easier to stay in.

      Although I’m a grandma, I like video games too, and I’ve always loved arts & crafts. Making something is a peaceful way to pass the time, and even if you make mistakes — I’m looking at my own terrible knitting! — you can laugh about it and start over or make something else.

      Wishing you peace & joy,
      Grandma Susan

  6. Sel says:

    Hi, I’m Sel – queer and nonbinary – and I’m not out to my family yet. Everyone in my family is homophobic and it feels really oppressive to always have to hide who I am as I get older. Reading the letters always makes me cry (in a good way!) imagining myself in a place where I’m fully loved and accepted. What you’re doing here is really powerful, and it’s really helping me through the holidays and through depression. Thank you so much!

    • NB Alex says:

      Hey, Sel!

      I’m nonbinary and queer too! And I am bipolar type II, which is depression-dominant. So we have a lot in common.

      I am 40 but I am not out to my whole family either. I didn’t even understand my identity until the past few years, so you have a head start on me which I think is awesome! You know what you are, and that’s enormous.

      You will find that place you want so badly. It will happen, it will come with time, and you will help to create it. You’ve come so far already, and even though I don’t know you, I’m super proud of you!

      There is a day waiting for you in the future where you will feel completely accepted among family of choice. It will be magical and wonderful, and it will be only the first day of many. You will not feel so alone forever.

      I know it can feel disingenuous or inauthentic to have to hide who you are, but having to do so doesn’t make you lesser, it doesn’t diminish how valuable you are, or how wonderful and radiant your identity is.

      You know what? Nonbinary is amazing. It really is. Sometimes I think about light, which is both a particle and a wave, and I think about how for me being nonbinary means that I, like light, transcend that one-or-the-other duality. I am not one or the other . . . I am my own thing. You are, too.

      My wish for you this holiday season is that you can find someplace to be your authentic self, for just a little while. Online, or among accepting friends IRL, or even just by yourself, appreciating how unique and wonderful and necessary you are. <3

      You aren't alone, there are other people like you living authentic, happy lives, and your future is full of light and hope. <3

    • Kim says:

      I’m so glad you have a place, even if it’s online to go! I’m not a mother, but I’d definitely be interested in being a supportive sister of sorts. Stay strong, things change always.

    • Your Loving Auntie says:

      You’d have a swell time at our home. I am picturing you with us. We’ll add a plate to our table for you. You can sit next to my nephew, he’s very cute and I think he’d like you;). Many a nights, we’ll all sit around and have what we call our gay movie marathon. My son who is 14 usually says I need a break goes to play video games and comes back. We stay up all night and end up asleep all over the family room. We’ll make extra popcorn because can’t have movienight without munchies.

    • Mama Mary says:

      Hi, Sel! Thank you for reaching out to our loving community. I hope that these letters help you stay strong and know that you are PERFECT just the way you are. The wonderful thing about friendships is that you can choose who will be supportive and loving; you can have many different kinds of family. I send all my love your way!

      Mama Mary (mother of a queer non-binary teen and a cis teen)

    • Kate mama says:

      Sel – I am sending love and acceptance your way. You are a child of the world – let the world love you if your family of origin can’t or won’t. Praying that you know that you are worthy and beautiful and brave and special just the way you are.

      I love you always…

  7. Danny says:

    My names Danny, I am pansexual and I am ftm transgender. My family doesn’t like the fact that I’m pansexual, they kinda make fun of it and tell me it’s not real. I’m not out with my family yet about me being transgender because I know they won’t accept me. My mom said she has tolerance if one of her kids is transgender but that doesn’t sound very promising. The rest of my family either won’t believe me or they’ll freak out about it (I have a very religious family). It makes me feel awful when I’m forced to be addressed my birth name (Katie) and pronouns. I saw a link to here on Instagram and I felt reassured and it made me happy and excited.


    • Dad Arin says:

      Hi, my name is Arin, and I love your name, Danny! I’m gay, but I identified as pansexual for a while and the jokes aren’t fun at all. I’m so sorry that you have to deal with people telling you that your sexuality isn’t real! Being pansexual is completely valid and I hope you find someone who’s likeminded to share your life with.
      I’ll let you in on a little secret that I don’t share with just anyone, I’m ftm trans as well and I wish you tons of luck with coming out. It’s not easy, and sometimes it won’t be taken well at first but soon enough you’ll learn than it’s your decision how you chose to live and no one else’s. I’m sure that you’re a very handsome young man and that life will pan out for you.
      Never come out if you feel like you’ll be in danger, but know that the worst you can get is rejection, and then, slowly but surely, acceptance. It might take a while but your family will always learn to love you.
      People all around you are here for you, and I sincerely hope that you’re doing well!
      -Your honorary internet dad, Arin

    • Brigid says:

      Hi Danny,
      I’m sorry your family is having trouble accepting the reality of your sexuality. Families get used to things being a certain way, and change can scare them, or make them ignore the truth. I hope they come to accept the real you very soon.
      Until then, I want you to know that there are thousands of people who subscribe to this blog (and millions more people out in the big wide world) who would love and support and cherish you exactly the way you are!
      You are welcome here anytime. We’ll be here with virtual hugs for you.
      Wishing you a happy holiday season. You deserve it Danny!

    • Simran M says:

      Hi Danny. Sometimes, people in our lives can’t get past their own filters. Know this. You are valid, you have a purpose and you can do it! <3

    • Kim says:

      I’m sorry that you don’t feel supported. That’s difficult. We are here to listen. Holidays can be rough with less than ideal family members. I try and be thankful for the things you Do have. You are loved. Do you have good friends?

    • Nicole says:

      Hi Danny-

      I’m sorry that your family mocks your identity and sexuality. Thats not what family should do. I recognize you Danny as a leader, already you’re strong in your advocation for yourself here and I admire your honesty.

      Lots of love to you Danny.

      Just one of many who respect you,

    • Cherry says:

      Hi Danny! it’s nice to meet you I am also pansexual, tho not fully out at the moment. (by Christmas time I hope to be) from me and my friends’ experiences, I want to let you know some things.
      1. you are a valid and love-worthy person no matter what body and sexual orientation you have.
      2. you are not just tolerable, but completely acceptable in every way.
      3. if you keep your heart open and kind love (in its many forms) will find you, after all, you have my love for sure!

      i’m glad you’re happy and excited also! i am too!
      Additionally, i usually don’t say this, but I’ve decided that now it’s time i start doing this *shakes out the nervous jitter*
      I don’t know your religious beliefs, and whatever they may or may not be I want you to know I respect them and you, but as a Christian myself I want to say that the God I know and have been trying to understand better loves you very much. no matter what you do God loves you and implores Christians to love you fully not because of what you do or didn’t do, but because you are! The fact that you are strong, self-accepting, and positive just makes it easier to do so :D.
      In NO WAY am i trying to impress anything on you and i hope it doesn’t come off that way! My heart just told me to share that last bit that’s all. anyways keep in touch and have a good day Danny boy!(always wanted to say that lol)


  8. Stephanie/Stephen says:

    Hi, my name is Stephanie or Stephen. I qualify as pansexual and genderfluid. I came out to my step father a year ago and he decided to make fun of me for it.
    I’m very cautious with who I tell in fear of disapproval and anxiety. I haven’t told my mom or dad because I’m not sure how they’ll react. When I found out about this amazing website, I felt a wave of relief and happiness wash over me.
    Thank you for all that you have done and will continue to do.

    • Brigid says:

      Hey Steph,
      Glad you found us. So happy to hear that you feel welcome here… because you are! No one here will make fun of you for being true to yourself.
      It is a beautiful thing to know who you are meant to be. You are clearly a very brave, smart and thoughtful person. You have a wonderful future ahead of you.
      I’m very pleased to have “met” you. Have a good holiday season, and drop by here anytime you want. Hugs!

    • Kim says:

      Hey there! I’m glad you get some relief with this site. I’m really glad it exists. I know too well how anxiety can be when letting your true self show. It’s scary and can make you feel isolated. We are here to listen.

  9. Jamie says:

    So um, hi, my name is Jamie. I identify as a genderqueer pansexual and um, I just want to start by saying that what all of you are doing is amazing. I stumbled across this site thanks to a friend and it hit home so hard that I was brought to tears. Though I have very many supportive friends, my family isn’t too great with LGBTQA+ stuff… I’m too afraid to come out to my mom, as she’s known me as her daughter for eighteen years and already doesn’t respect pronouns my friends use, and my little brother is very anti-LGBTQA+ stuff… But honestly this website made me feel really good. It’s a bit silly, crying over the words of kind strangers… But I can’t bring myself to mind. I think what all of you are doing is one of the greatest things I’ve ever had the pleasure of stumbling across, as reading all the letters actually made me feel a sense of acceptance I don’t normally feel at home. I’m currently writing from a very good friend’s home, dreading that I have to go back to my own home tonight… But I will carry all of these kind words with me, as a token of my feeling of acceptance. Thank you all so much for all of this, and thank you for giving people like me a safe space, even if it’s just for a short while.
    Love, Jamie

    • Grandma Susan says:

      Hi, Jamie! YOU are amazing, and you sound so smart. “Carrying these kind words with me” — what a beautiful idea that is. I have this vision of you walking along with kind words surrounding you in a protective cloud (with maybe a bit of sparkle). Take care, and be proud of yourself just the way you are!

      Love and hugs,

    • Brigid says:

      Hey Jamie!
      So glad you dropped by and left us a note. I’m new here myself and I think this is one of the best places on the web! So much love.
      It really is true that there are more loving and accepting people in this world than we will ever know. Love is all around us.
      Sorry to hear your family isn’t too good at accepting and navigating LGBTQA+ stuff. Maybe they will get better over time. Families often do.
      But in any case it sounds like you have some excellent friends who understand you, and that’s golden. Even one understanding, caring friend can make all the difference.
      Remember, you are 100% perfect just the way you are. You don’t have to change to fit anyone else’s expectations. Just be your wonderful self!
      Wishing you a good holiday season, full of fun and friends. You are welcome here anytime. Hugs!

  10. Cara says:

    Hey, my name is Cara,
    I don’t know if this a the right place to talk about me but whatever…. I have a loving and supportive family but i‘m very scared to come out to them, including telling them I have a girlfriend. I‘m out to some of my friends, and everyone is very supportive, so it dosent really feel right to complain on a platform like this where so many other people have a so much worse past… I just can’t wait to come out and i‘m scared at the same time

    • Brigid says:

      Hi Cara,
      Whatever you’re feeling (excitement, fear, anticipation) is okay. Coming out is a big deal, and you never quite know how it’s going to go so it’s okay to be a bit hesitant.
      That being said, if you have a loving and supportive family and some friends who’ve accepted your news, that’s great! Chances are, that your family will do their best to understand. But whether they are able to accept the truth or not, remember that you are just perfect the way you are Cara. Don’t let anyone tell you that you have to change yourself to fit in with their picture of the world. You be you! The world will be a better place when all of us feel free to be ourselves. We are here to support you Cara. Hugs!

    • Amy says:

      Hi Cara,

      It was very scary to me to come out as a lesbian, even though I was pretty sure my family would be supportive. It still felt huge to me. I cried on the phone when I told my mother, even though she was kind and accepting and not particularly surprised.
      I know that you’ll find a time that feels right to you to come out to your family – there’s no schedule you have to follow. You are doing everything right. And I’m glad that you have a girlfriend and supportive friends! That’s so important. I hope you have a wonderful holiday season!

    • Eliza says:

      Hi Cara,

      I was in exactly your boat about a year ago 🙂 I worked up the courage to come out three times to my family, (my identity kept changing) and what I’ve learned is that the worst won’t happen, and on the off chance that it does, your friends will get you through it.

      I will always love you simply for being brave enough to come out to yourself, and from what I’ve seen I can promise that this community will care about every single struggle you go through on this journey, no matter how big or small you think it is.

      Stay strong and know that we love you 🙂

  11. Cyprus says:

    I’m having a tough time finding acceptance but thank you so much for all you are doing for everyone else. It really helps to know there are others out there to who devote their valuable time to make sure everyone is okay. The world certainly needs more people like you!

    • Brigid says:

      Hi Cyprus,
      Sorry to hear you are finding it hard to find acceptance in your life. Rest assured that there are millions of people in this world who have no problem with you being you. You are just wonderful the way you are. Remember that. Hugs!

  12. Michelle says:

    I’m a mom and bi myself. I know from personal experience how devastating it is to not be accepted for who you are by someone, but that doesn’t make you any less wonderful or special. Sending you all love and acceptance for the beautiful person you are.

    • Brigid says:

      Thanks for dropping by! This is indeed a wonderful place for people to come and find some unconditional love. Best wishes to you and yours this holiday season!

  13. Kate says:

    Hi everyone. I’m fortunate in that my family is accepting of me but I know too many people who have taken shelter under our roof because their families were not.

    Thank you to all the parents on here who are taking the time to reach out. It gives me hope.

    • Lori says:

      Lucky for you if your family is understanding. Now it’s your job to be a model for others. Everyone is deserving of that fortunate feeling.

    • Brigid says:

      So glad you are in a good situation and can be there for others. There really is a lot of love in the world, and a lot of hope. 🙂 Best wishes to you!

  14. J says:

    I just wanted to say… Holiday moms, you are doing such a good, good thing.

    I’m, like, 34. Androgynous, queer. I came here just to see what this was. But… I dared, just for a moment, to imagine myself in a family where I was understood and welcome. It really hit me. There are a lot of tears right now, but, they’re good ones. Thank you. Thank you for this feeling, and for the unconditional support you are offering this non-standard community. Young and old, we certainly need it.

    • Mom Courtney says:

      Dear J,
      I’m glad you stopped by our holiday home! It’s so true, we all need and deserve to feel loved and accepted. And we are overflowing with love here for you. Those tears let us know that our love made its way to your heart. We love you for being the beautiful person that you are!
      Much Love, Mom Courtney

    • Kat and Wayne says:

      You’ve found a family where you are welcome and understood!

      I’m so glad I found this site so our family can help you all know our virtual door is always open…the kitchen table is a judge free zone and the cupboards are full of love and support…

    • Lori says:

      I ❤️ that you can imagine that family you want. That’s the first step to assembling it. There are people who will love you for the amazing, unique, brave person that you are. Imagine when you assemble them!!
      Put your tears to work!

    • Mama Lynn Ann says:

      J, you are so loved and accepted by me. My tears are right there with you. I hope you are able to find some happiness during this season of darkness and light. I’m there for you, unconditionally.

    • Storm says:

      Hey J 😀

      I’m so glad you popped by. Everyone, deserves love for the wonderful, complex,fascinating,creative and endlessly perfect people they are! So much love to you my friend- you are a gift and a joy to those around you… never forget it, because I won’t <3

  15. Sezyl says:

    I’m really glad this website exists to help out LGBT+ people. I chose to start off going by the names Chris or Sezyl when I first came out as being trans, yet my family still neglects my wishes. It’s hard to be happy for the holidays for me when my family is always calling me by my dead name and pronouns, even after I ask they call me by who I really am. I’ve been under constant discourage, and it only gets worse after I had also come out as being homosexual. My entire family refuses to accept their gay, FtM son, but seeing wonderful people like you doing something so comforting and compassionate for all those who don’t really have their family on their side is something that always keeps me going and lifts my spirits ~

    I hope that I can keep myself in a positive environment such as this. Thank you so, so much for being so amazing and caring.

    • Mom Courtney says:

      Dear Sezyl,
      You can visit us here every day if you’d like. We are here to share our love and acceptance with you all the way through New Year’s Day. And please don’t lose hope, because there are people like us out there. Until you find them, we are here to tell you that you are so beautiful just the way you are!
      Much Love, Mom Courtney

    • Lori says:

      Sezyl!!! What a great name!! There are those of us who accept you as the amazing person that you are. Remember that. It will get easier for your family, and you are strong. I hope you will find some part of this holiday to celebrate. You are obviously a strong, determined person.

    • Kat and Wayne says:

      Sezyl is a great name! So very unique!

      Give your family time. They may just need time to accept that their perceptions of who you were are not who you are.

      In the meantime know that there are people who welcome you with open arms. We have strong shoulders and welcoming hearts.

      Kat & Wayne

    • Mama Lynn Ann says:

      Sezyl and Chris are both beautiful names! Stay true to yourself, you are special and loved the way you are. I accept and love you. Please come back here and keep reaching out as you need support. Happy Holidays!

  16. Erin says:

    You might not think it, but stuff like this does matter. It makes a difference. When you don’t get unconditional familial love from your own family, being welcomed by someone else as if you were family, even if it’s online, is incredibly helpful. Thank you for this.

  17. Warren says:

    The closer it gets to Christmas the more depressed I get. I haven’t seen my mother since my 17th birthday and my dad is very transohobic. He can accept the fact I like girls, but he refuses to call me his son. So for Christmas I have to endure another year of being misgendered and knocked down. The only people who call me a boy are my friends. Nobody in my family refers to me as a boy. And it sucks. I come from a super religious family and one of them actually sat me down and for about an hour told me why I was going to hell and that I could easily stop being gay. The holidays are hard. I’m actually just trying to fight off tears writing this.

    • Holidaymom Jackie says:


      I’m so sorry you’re misgendered by your family at home, but know your holidaymom family loves you and appreciates you as you are, our son! We hope you can find solace in your holidayfamily on this site, and that it will make the holidays at home a little more bearable. Much love my sweet boy,

      Holidaymom Jackie

    • Lori says:

      There are people out there who will love you for who you are. I hope you find them soon. You are a special person with so much to give to the right people. When you are sad, Holidaymoms feel lucky to get to spend time with you.

    • Anna says:

      Hello Warren,
      What a wonderful name you have chosen for yourself! I am so sorry your family does not fully accept you. I know very well how harmful religion can be when you don’t fit into the box it has created. You are amazing for living your true self. I wish that this holiday season you see a change in them, and they begin to acknowledge you as the son, brother, nephew you have always been

    • Dylan says:

      I am so sorry this is happening to you.
      I am not trans so I don’t understand your struggle but I do know what it is like to be misgendered and told I’m going to hell for being myself.
      I’m here for you if you need someone to talk to.
      Your Holiday Friend Dylan

      • Skylar says:


        So many hugs! I am so sorry that your family has chosen to use religion as an opportunity to misgender and hurt you. As a Christian myself, it is my honor to surround you with love! I also want you to know that you were fearfully and wonderfully made and that God makes no mistakes, and I am sorry that you ever have felt any different. I love you for who you are, always.

    • Kim says:

      Friends are the family you choose. It sounds like you have good friends in real life, and holiday moms here who support you. I’m glad of that! You are loved!

    • Dad Dutch says:

      Hey Warren, your Straight HolidayDad here. Please know that there are many, many people who don’t care about your gender in a good way. Boy, girl, both or neither…you are excepted, loved and appreciated for the person you are, not your gender or who you prefer to have sex with.
      Having labeled my mother as an unfit mother at a teenager, my perspective is that for two people to be able to produce a child does not a parent make. I stayed in contact but never again did I expect nor ask for moral, emotional or any other support. I also went my own way with matters religiously.
      I don’t know you personally, but please know that you are appreciated by many here in this virtual family.

      Love you Son.

    • Julie Mom says:

      Warren, you are worthy of love, and I am so sorry your mom, dad, and family have treated you this way. Huge kisses to you; be well, and know that love surrounds you, always.

    • Mama Lynn Ann says:

      Oh Warren, I’m wrapping you in a virtual hug. You know yourself to be the boy you are and that is wonderful. I’m so sorry you are being misgendered a knocked down. I love you and know you are not going to hell. You are so brave to have come out in a family that has yet to accept you. I’m keeping you in my thoughts, especially on Christmas.

    • Storm says:

      Oh Warren,
      I’m so sorry love- it’s a horrible place to be in, when the people you should be able to go to for love, just can’t get past their own conditioning, to offer it! I understand, as I’ve lived through it too. I’m here to tell you that I think you’re perfect exactly as you are. Our hearts will always tell us who we are at our core, and when we follow that truth, we open ourselves to the possibility of a better world. Come by here as often as you can. We love seeing you here, and here you have a home that loves you for the perfect, shining beacon that you truly are. Many hugs, and much love Warren xox

    • Everyday Dad says:

      Hi Warren,
      I’m not proud to say… Early in my adult life I also shared the same misguided beliefs as your parents and unfortunately I probably would have reacted similarly. However, I’m a 50+ CIS and after opening my mind and heart I’m learning real empathy for the LGBTQI community. I’m very hopeful that over time your parents can do the same for you my son.

      Your friend,

  18. Matt says:

    A Facebook friend shared a link to your site, and intrigued, I clicked on it. There were tears streaming down my face before I even finished reading today’s letter. I am a gay male with a somewhat supportive family, but happened to be spending Thanksgiving alone for the first time this year because of restrictions from traveling with my dog. I have a good and fortunate life and still felt the genuine warmth and love coming from your group of letter writers. What you are doing is amazing work and it humbles me. I am so grateful to be reminded of kind, selfless, and loving people in the world. Sometimes it seems like not enough people stop to say thank you, so… Thank you so much for all of your work, coordination, and thoughtfulness in what you do for young people in need. It’s truly inspiring.

    • Mama Sue says:

      Being alone doesn’t mean you are lonely. There are many people who care about every single human being, and cry when one is lost. I had a very quiet Thanksgiving, with just one of my three daughters, who cooked for me food I can eat (I have a rare disease that limits my foods) after having larger family gatherings, as this is my first year divorced. Your dog will keep you company!

    • Lori says:

      I hope you had a nice quiet Thanksgiving with your furry friend. It’s sweet that you are so supportive of your dog. We had a quiet holiday away from family too. It’s lovely in a different way.

    • Mama Lynn Ann says:

      Matt, I’m crying with you. I am sorry you spent Thanksgiving alone, I hope you and your dog got some quality time together. Sending so much love your way! I hope you have happy December holidays. I’ll be thinking of you.

  19. Sidney says:

    This is such a beautiful thing that you guys are running here. Thank you so much for everything that you do. I am a trans man and while my family is pretty accepting I know that many LGBT+ Youth do not have that privlage and I have witnessed the affects of this first hand.

    You are doing so much good here. If you are ever in need of a letter writing uncle, I would be happy to contribute to this beautiful project. Thank you all for the work you put into taking care of LGBT+ youth durring difficult times. Your effort and kindness does not go unnoticed.

    Also, to any Holiday children who see this comment: You are enough and you matter.

    • Shamama says:

      Thank you so much Sidney, we would love it if you would comment on the young folks posts, it means a lot coming from a loving uncle! All the guidelines are simple and posted here… and thank you again for your support! Shamama

    • Mama Lynn Ann says:

      Sidney, I am so glad that your family is pretty accepting. Your beauty shines through in your post, I love and accept you unconditionally. Happy Holidays!

  20. Mason says:

    Hey all,
    It’ll be my first year actively not going to my mom’s house since recovery (it’s been about 4.5 years since I stopped using drugs or drinking). I’ve made plans to go to my biodad’s house so I can see my younger siblings, who still love me, but it’s not the same and we were never really close.

    Anyway, I finally got the go ahead for Testosterone today after a few health scares (they thought I might have lukemia in the beginning) and it’s exciting but it’s also like a final canister of gasoline on the flames where the relationship with my mother used to be. We were really close once.

    Anyway, I’m glad I found you guys, feeling like I belong somewhere is nice. I’m focusing on making holiday cards for all the people I still love in my life and getting ready for my wedding next year, which my mom doesn’t even know about.

    It’s a lot, just glad to have a virtual family to lean on.

    • Shamama says:

      Hello Mason, oh, I am so glad you are here. That is amazing about the T! I understand about the issues with your mom, though, and that is why we are here. We support you! You do belong here… So much love, Shamama

    • Kris says:

      Mason, 4 1/2 years of recovery!!!! You, my friend, must be an amazingly strong person! Much love to you during this Season and all the beautiful season to come. Have fun preparing for your up coming wedding and building your new family!

    • Mama Mo says:

      A wedding – congratulations! Wishing you and your intended a long and happy life together, full of people who love you both exactly as you are.

    • Angelina says:

      I’m in awe of your strength and resolve. I’m so happy that you’ve attained sobriety and maintained it.

      Congratulations on your upcoming nuptials! Your loved ones that will receive your handmade cards are so lucky and we’re all so happy to have you here! You’re worthy of all good things you desire, you’re more than enough for anyone, and you’re loved and wanted.

    • Dad Dutch says:

      Hey Mason, just a hug and congratulation on your wedding. Our very best wishes for marital happiness to the both of you.

      You make your HolidayMom and i mighty proud.

      Your HolidayDad.

    • Kat and Wayne says:

      Congratulations on the wedding!

      So exciting! We are looking forward to the day our son marries his partner!

      Please share some of your wedding plans!

  21. Sethren H says:

    My mother died a few years ago before I could tell her properly that I’m transgender – that I identify as male rather than female. The last time we saw each other in person was at a family reunion that ended badly…Me, her and my grandmother arguing. It broke my heart that, that happened because we had always been so close before I was in High School.

    Now I’m homeless, and struggling to get by day by day. I have to take meds for depression, and dealing with Thanksgiving, and Christmas after that is hard this year since it was her favorite holiday…Kinda wish the year would just end already.

    I’m trying to find motivation to write my novel, and finish one as I promised my mom when she died that I would – there’s just no motivation.

    • Shamama says:

      Hey Sethren, thanks for writing. I hope you DO write that novel, because I bet it is going to be amazing. I’m a novelist, and I know the joy in creating the world that is in your mind… I’m sorry that you are homeless and that your mom died, but I am glad you found us here. Our love goes out to you! HUGS, Shamama

        • Brigid says:

          Everyone needs support sometimes. Humans are social people and we need to know there is someone out there who cares. Well, you came to the right place!! We are here for you. We love and accept you for who you are, young or old. I’m in my 50’s now too.Wishing you a good holiday season! Visit us here often!

    • Lori says:

      Please keep writing your novel. The world needs to hear your amazing voice and other people need to be able to read wonderful novels from your perspective.

    • Miranda says:


      I’m so sorry you lost your mom before you could really let her know everything you wanted her to know and that you had harsh words. I’m sure that hurts, but there was love between you! Hold love in your heart and be kind to yourself!

      People care, no one is truly ever alone unless they choose to be. So let us care for you now.

      Sending you kind thoughts and much love

      A mama swan from far away

    • Miles says:

      Hey bro, I know your situation sucks, but I’m praying that you’ll find the strength to carry on. “Hope is the most powerful weapon of all” ~ Snow White OUAT. I love you. ~your holiday bro.

    • Mama Lynn Ann says:

      Sethren, I’m so sorry for your difficult situation. It sounds like that family reunion was hard, but I think that your mother knew that you loved her and would have accepted you fro the man you are. I hope that you can find some light this holiday season, I know how hard it can be. Please write your novel when you are feeling ready, so many of us would love to read it. Sending my love.

  22. Alexis G says:

    Wow.. If I would have found this site when I was younger, I think it would have changed the way I look at life. I’m so happy to know that other generations of our community will not have to go through what I did. Thank you all for what you do and all the love you have freely given.

    • Shamama says:

      Alexis, thank you, I’m sorry you didn’t find us before, too, but we are here now! Imagine a love letter sent through time to you back then, and read our letters as if to that younger you. We love you!! Hugs, Shamama

      • Alexis G says:

        Thank you. Reading letter after letter out loud really helped. All my mom’s I would like to say thank you. My family just deals with the fact I’m a lesbian. They don’t accept it, they just over look it or ignore it and most of the time me. But this year, with all your love and support, is the best one since I was a teenage. So thank you all. This holiday season will be the best and brightest.

    • Mama Lynn says:

      Alexis, I accept you for who you are always. Thinking of you this holiday season with much love.

  23. Jen says:

    Thank you. I’ve grown to hate the holiday season but seeing this site has warmed my cold, hardened heart. It sounds like a cliché but I feel a little less lonely now.

    • Shamama says:

      Hello Jen! Thank you so much for commenting, so we can say WELCOME more personally! I am so glad you feel a little less lonely now! LOVE, Shamama

      • Momma E says:

        Hi, Jen! A virtual basket of love and hugs sent your way. May the warmth in your heart be with you always! Love, Momma E

    • Miranda says:


      I hope you come back here and let us melt your heart a little more over time. People really do care and no one is nearly as alone as they think they are. Others will find your hand if you reach out for them, I’ve found.

      Feel free to shelter under this mama swan’s big wings


  24. Rose Bliss says:

    Please let me know what I can do. I’m a disabled grandmother of three, mother of two. My oldest is 36, my youngest died 16 years ago at the age of 16. I have a soft spot in my heart for teenagers and would like to help in anyway I can.

  25. Linda says:

    I’m not a tech savvy mama, but for this cause, I will learn! Tumblr is downloaded and I have a teenager on deck to show me what to do. What an easy way for moms to support and love these wonderful children!

    • Auntie Marni says:

      Dear Linda,
      Thank you for your willingness to help out! Things aren’t as interactive over on the Tumblr side–you can definitely re-share over there, but the most interactive way to be involved is to respond to comments here on the main blog. You will definitely reach more of the youth right here by reading through the comments on the individual letters and offering them words of love and encouragement. Happy Holidays to you and yours!!!
      My best,

  26. Melissa says:

    I’m so glad this exists, I just read the letter from today and if im being honest I might be crying from it. My own parents were not so happy about my coming out (specifically my dad) and while they have not flat out disowned me, it makes being around them very distant and awkward. I’m definitely going to be subscribing to this, thank you so much to every single person who contributes to this.

    • Shamama says:

      We are so delighted to have you here Melissa – you are more than welcome to cry! LOVE is worth it. I’m sorry about your parents, so very sorry. They don’t know what they are missing by delighting in you just as you are, but I hope one day they can. LOVE, Shamama

    • Valerie says:

      I went through that too, many years ago. Parents take a long time sometimes, but it gets easier when you find that in addition to blood family, you can have chosen family too. Just know that you are okay. You are normal. You are perfect just how you are, and that you will find people out there who see just how great you are.

      • Lizzy says:

        Giant hug Melissa, When my wife and I came out to our parents there was about the same awkwardness, distance and disapproval from our parents. It was horrible, for me my dad was so harsh and I was his kid, not my moms. I really felt alone. What both Barb and I experienced though was that our parents somehow grew up. Grew up and learned that love is the most important thing. Parent’s reactions are not about us, in fact, we can do nothing about anybody’s feelings and reactions than our own. Choose your response to them, breathe into the flexibility of loving when it’s not apparently returned.
        I’ll be your out-there-out-auntie and Barb will be solid-sending-you-strength-out-auntie. We will hold you in our hearts and see you in the light everywhere.

    • Momma E says:

      Hi, Melissa! I hope the love for you here wraps you up in a perpetual hug and draws your parents closer to you. You are worth every ounce of their love. Love, Momma E

    • Stephmom says:

      Sweet girl, never forget that YOU are special and have so much to offer to others. Sending you oodles of holiday love and into 2018.

    • Miranda says:


      You poor thing! Give yourself time to adjust to whatever this new situation turns out to be. Just be good to yourself and know that no matter what you’re fine just the way you are. Change and upheaval are scary and hard, but discomfort is temporary.

      There are definitely people out there who love and accept exactly who you are. Make sure you are one of them!

  27. Just a mom somewhere in the world says:

    Bless you all and the work that you do here. I’m sharing the link to this site on my social media page in hopes that it helps someone. 2016 has been a helluva year, and I think the stuff you do here is important. <3 Thank you. Faith in humanity rose a few points today. 🙂

  28. Blake lewis says:

    So I got a pop up on my Facebook from a year ago I shared this page as to help other LGBTQ members such as myself, but never realized how much I could use a letter.. I was very close to my family until… I came out as a lesbian about 10 years ago and my family was not accepting of it all.. I never felt ok claiming to be lesbian or even a female for that matter I did some research and found out what transgender ment.. It was me it was perfect I KNEW that I was a transmale. I came out a lil over a year and a half ago and I started hormones almost a year ago and since then I haven’t seen my parents, my grandparents, my cousins (needless to say we have a very large LDS family…) If I want to see my family I have to put their needs first and shave my face and try my hardest to raise my voice ( and for anyone who has been on hormones knows its hard to go back once you have started) just so I can see any of them… This was the second year in a row that I haven’t been able to see my family for thanksgiving and probably not going to be my last…

    (Sorry for the long rant, its just hitting the depression really hard this year that I can’t spend time with the ones who “love me for me”…)

    Thank you for taking the time to read


    • Shamama says:

      Reading, loving, SEEING you my dear Blake! As the mom of a trans man, I do know all about those hormones. Just imagine me beaming – BEAMING – at you as you transition, because it is a beautiful thing! Big hugs to you, Shamama

    • Tee J. says:

      You are so courageous and I am so proud of you that you chose to be who you are. It must have been such a difficult decision. You are so brave and inspiring. ❤️

      What I have learned is that family isn’t just blood relations, it’s who is there for you and loves you for you. If your biological family can’t see you for who you are, then that is their loss, not yours.

      I wish you so much love and happiness and I hope you thrive in your new perfect body. I hope your holidays bring you much cheer! Bright blessings always.

    • Rachel says:

      You’re braver than you know and you’re not alone!! I’m a mom, and I’m cheering you on as you claim your truth and show your authentic self to the world. I believe in you. You can get through this and the world will be a more genuine, hopeful place because you stood up and showed up. We’re with you!

    • Mormonmom says:

      As an LDS mom i want you to know that you would be so loved in my home, without conditions or requirements. I wish other religious families could be that and I’m happy that this site exists to help those of heavens children get the love they deserve.
      Big momma hugs to you from me, i promise that here and in my heart, you are definitely loved for who you are.
      I’m going to make an ornament for you and hang it on my tree, i do this with all of my (almost 7) children, you have a place on our tree too!
      With lots of love!

    • Big sis Chelsea says:

      Oh Blake! I’m so glad you’ve found where your drumbeat is in your heart! I’m so proud of you for being brave enough to follow it and become who you feel you’re meant to be. So many warm hugs to you, sweetie. You deserve so much love and happiness! Thinking of you and how your transition is going truly makes me smile the biggest! So so much love to you!

    • Mama T says:

      Hugs, Blake.

      I can’t begin to imagine how you feel. Please know that you are loved, as you are, no stipulations. You seem like an incredible person, and it is my dearest wish that you find happiness and peace.

      More hugs. ❤

    • Mamma Stacey says:

      Proud to say I have a 15 year old that may or may not be a transman in the future. Right now we are trying to figure out what she understands as she has Autism, and really does not grasp certain concepts. With counseling and support she is finding her balance. She is currently identifying female, and is comfortable with “liking girls.”

      I hope you can find a balance, and know that your story touched me. Blake, keep your head up, and feel confident to be yourself. You are worth it.

      • Lizzy says:

        Rock ON! MammaStacy. Know I’m out here celebrating your parenting and the choices your very amazing child is given.

    • Valerie says:

      Blake, you are full of courage for being who you are. I know you will do great things. You probably already are. Your strength inspires me.

    • April says:

      Blake, I grew up in the LDS church, I am sorry about your family, but know this, you are loved, you are brave, strong and wonderful. They preach alot about being yourself, and I am so proud of you for making the choice to be the best you that you deserve to be. I hope that you will find a lot of love, support, acceptance and friendship here, but also out there.

    • L’Aura says:

      Dear Blake,
      I am a grandmother and the sister of a gay man whom I love very much. Just know there are people out there that love you just the way you are, trans, gay, bi, it doesn’t matter. NI am sending you love and joy and peace. Be well and be proud of who you are.

    • Stephmom says:

      Blake, as the Mom of a gorgeous trans boy I can only tell you how proud I am of you and how your strength and journey is not only helping you, but is preparing the way for so many others. So proud of you!

    • Mom Naomi says:

      So sorry to hear what you’ve gone through in the process to just be yourself. Hugs and love to you! May life bring you joy and blessings ahead.

  29. Laura Bethany says:

    I. Love. This!! I will be sharing the site and posts on my blog over the next few weeks. Thank you for being a positive light for a often challenged community!

  30. Jamie says:

    This just made my holiday….

    I’m a transgender guy from the United Kingdom and listening to a holiday letter just made me feel that I had a purpose and it just keeps be going…. thank you so much for all the support holiday moms!!!

    • Storm says:

      So good to meet you Jamie, and huge hugs from a Kiwi Mum.:-)
      Sending a great big bucket of loving holiday cheer to you (and a virtual piece of Pavlova, because seriously- what’s a holiday without Pav?! 😉 ) and I’m so glad you found your way here xox

  31. Elias says:

    I am a transgender guy and fully dependent on my parents. I started talking more openly with my psychiatrist and therapist about my relationship with my dad. They told me it’s not a matter of me being invalidated, but that my dad is actually being emotionally abusive, sometimes even trying to deny my access to adequate healthcare. I am terrified for this holiday season. It is clear that my dad becomes more abusive towards me every time I veer away from the “normal” (i.e. not disabled) daughter he thought he had when I was born. I need some compassion, even though I barely know what that looks like.

    • Reggie says:

      Hi, Elias
      I am really glad you found us.
      In here you will not only find compassion, you will find warmth, empathy, understanding and love.
      Come, sit down anywhere you want, find a friendly hand to hold or arms to embrace you, chat around or be silent – feel free to do as you please, knowing you are welcome here.
      You are, and you will always be, loved.

      Warm hugs
      from Aunty Reg

    • Mama T says:

      Hey, Hon.

      My dad is emotionally abusive, too. I remember all too clearly that feeling of being stuck, and the feeling of having to pretend to be exactly what be wants/expects. The best I can offer you is this: it won’t last forever. Someday, you will be away from him, in a place where you are surrounded in love.

      In the meantime, I offer you warm hugs, a quick hair tousel, and a gentle listening ear. I offer you love and hope.

      One more hug. ❤

    • Valerie says:

      You are welcome here, just how you are.
      You ARE normal, just how you are. You are you, and that’s wonderful. Sometimes, the people that can’t find the good in others are actually the abnormal ones. Elias, you are welcome, heard, and accepted here.
      Wishing you love and peace this Season.

    • Stephmom says:

      Dear Elias,

      Know that every time you take a breath you draw in all the mothers everywhere who see and love you. The time will come when your life will be yours to live, hang on and keep taking deep breaths!

  32. Madi says:

    This website is amazing. I found it when I thought I was still straight, and you have no -idea- how much searching it’s taken me to find it again. I’ve finally admitted to myself that I’m bisexual, and such a load has been lifted off of myself that I just want to tell everybody about it; but my family is very Christian and very conservative, and I’m afraid my future would be destroyed if I came out to them. So I’m looking forward to this. To a forum with a family that will listen and will care. I’m very excited and very hopeful. Thank you for starting this project and giving us a safe haven.

    • Mom Matti says:

      I found it when I thought I was straight too! It’s helped me quite a bit and now my girlfriend and I are very happy together. I hope you find something and someone that wonderful as well. My family is the same way, so that makes things tough. Just so you know, we’re always here for you.

      Love Always,

      Mom Matti

      • Mom Hillary says:

        You are all welcome here and loved. I am glad that you were able to find your true selves and I hope that some day you do not have to be afraid to show them to everyone you know.

    • Mama T says:

      Hugs, Madi.

      You are welcome and loved here. You are perfect and amazing, as you are, no strings attached.

      You are wonderful.

  33. Katie says:

    Dear Holiday mom,

    I was on here earlier and loved all the help I got. However everything has gotten a little worse. I was diagnosed with depression and anxiety. I was also told I may have bipolar depression but I had to get in and out pretty quickly so they couldn’t make a full diagnosis. Having all of this and being bisexual has been very hard. I’m trying to get through this all on my own as I haven’t come out to my parents and my best friend has stopped talking to me all together.

    My family is very Christian and it’ll be a mess if I come out. My brother would be the least accepting because he already hates my enough.. I try to fit in but I already stick out like a zebra in the Arctic in my own home. I really just need a friend that I can at least somewhat relate to.

    Thank you so much for spending the time to read this <3

    • Chloe says:

      Hello Katie,

      I am very glad that you found help on this blog earlier, but I am saddened to learn that things have gotten worse. I am sorry to hear that. I know it’s that old cliche that people are tired of hearing, but things will get better with time. I, myself, have been diagnosed with bipolar depression. It can be a struggle, but every day things get a little bit easier. Take things one day at a time, Katie, and you will find the acceptance and happiness that you deserve. Just know that everyone here loves you and that you are a wonderful human being.

      Bless you,

    • Storm says:

      Hey there Katie,

      I’m so sorry you’re having such a tough time right now. You have a huge amount on your plate, and I can see how incredibly strong you must be, to be getting through this minute by minute.
      Just remember- even if you have to tell yourself over and over again like a Mantra… You are loved here, accepted wholeheartedly here, celebrated here for the truly unique and wonderful person you are, and I have no doubt in my heart that better times are in store for you.
      In the meantime, all my love to you, always and always.

  34. Ale says:

    I’m new to this blog and I absolutely ADORE it. It’s so good to find something so accepting when my own family is so homophobic.
    I recently became a teenager, but my bisexual feelings date from the year before when I developed a small crush on one of my friends. I passed it off as nothing, but my sexuality kept nagging at me until this year I found the courage to admit that I’m bi.
    I don’t want to come out. A couple of my good friends know, but I don’t want everyone in my life to.
    I find courage in music, (gay) fanfiction, band members, and my beloved friends, because ever since I realized that I was different I enjoy being alone more than I like being with people, as antisocial as that might sound. My slightly depressed and anxious condition is not particularly helpful either.
    I love this blog. It makes me so happy to see these letters bringing some light into my otherwise difficult life.
    Thank you so much.

    • Spoilers says:

      Hi Ale!
      First, let me tell you how glad I am that you found this blog and remind you how much I and all the holiday families here love you. If you need or want a warm hug, there’s plenty to go around.
      I’m so sorry that things are difficult with your family right now, just remember that no matter what they think or say, you are an incredible shining light with so much to offer to the world. I’m so glad you have supportive friends around you to remind you how special you are.
      My partner and I both have depression and anxiety too, and I was a bisexual teen who didn’t know that they were trans; maybe we understand a little of what you’re going through, maybe we don’t. But you never have to explain yourself to us. If you just need to sit quietly and think, that’s fine. If you want to rage and scream about how unfair it all is, that’s fine too. If you need us to remind you that it gets better, we will – because it does. You won’t always have to live with your family or do what they think is right. You will find your own space in the world, where you are loved and accepted and can live in the way that suits you. Until then, you will be welcome at all the family homes I visit over the holiday, or at home with my partner if you want a quieter time.
      Big love,
      Holiday Parent Spoilers (I know it’s a silly name, but I haven’t chosen a permanent name yet)

    • Lotus says:

      Holy relatable, Batman! I figured out I was bi around your age, too! (A lifetime ago, it feels like!) I’ve also been diagnosed with anxiety and depression. They can be so awful, I know. 🙁
      But I’m going to tell you something I’ve learned within the last three and a half years that has helped me cope with a LOT. “Family don’t end with blood.” That single phrase has brought me so much comfort, and I hope it does the same for you.
      And it is perfectly okay for you to decide to “stay in” for as long as you need to. That’s the beauty of life. It’s yours, so YOU dictate who knows what about you when. You’re the only one who gets to control that. And I’m going to guess that finding things you can control is a very good thing. A lot of us feel better when we realize that we DO control certain things. It makes us feel a little less helpless.
      Darling, I hope that those you trust can help make this holiday season-and the whole year-that much brighter and warmer for you. Please be safe, and always keep fighting. Much love and strength. <3

  35. Ale says:

    I’m new to this blog and I absolutely ADORE it. It’s so good to find something so accepting when my own family is so homophobic.
    I recently became a teenager, but my bisexual feelings date from the year before when I developed a small crush on one of my friends. I passed it off as nothing, but my sexuality kept nagging at me until this year I found the courage to admit that I’m bi.
    I don’t want to come out. A couple of my good friends know, but

    • Lisbeth says:

      Hi Ale,

      I’m glad you found us here! I’m bisexual too, If you’re not ready to come out yet, you don’t have too. Coming out is a big step, and it’s ok if you’re not ready for that yet. I knew for years before I came out, and I think I chose a good time to do it.

      I’m sorry to hear that your family isn’t accepting, and hopefully they will come around. Whether or not they do, it’s not your fault that they can’t see you for what you are, which is a wonderful, genuine human being.

      Best wishes,

  36. Reggie says:

    My dearest Jackie,
    It brings my heart sadness when I see or hear about people who think of themselves as Christians but then forget Jesus’ words on love and compassion.
    On the other hand, I am happy for you – that you have found warmth and support from your Dad’s side of the family is wonderful news.

    I believe your Mom would have loved to see you have the courage to come out to her; but you know she loves you from above and that is something that people with unpleasant attitudes can never take away from you.

    Keep that love alight, not only in the holiday season, but also to guide you as you navigate through life. Honor your beliefs and stand tall, knowing you are blessed.

    Warm hugs from
    Aunty Reg

  37. Jackie says:

    Hello, all!

    I am an openly bisexual, devout Roman Catholic. (Don’t worry….you can be both!) I also live with my Dad and my dog, Sasha in the Northeastern United States. I lost my mom to cancer when I was fourteen, in July of 2008. I did not have the opportunity to come out to her (she was going to be the first one to know) as she passed away before I could tell her. I’m glad she knows now, as Jesus beat her to it when she got to heaven.

    I only came out to my surviving family last year, almost two years ago now, at the beginning of 2014. While my Dad’s family has offered me nothing but unconditional support and love, (it took my Dad a while, but he’s finally come around!) my mom’s family is a different story. I haven’t talked to or seen them in the seven years that my mom has been with the Lord, and when I came out to that side of the family, I was met with nothing but hate, disguised as acceptance. Most of my mom’s family turned their back on me, and have distanced themselves even further from my Dad and I since coming out.

    Other than my Dad’s family, I am completely alone this holiday season. I have four aunts on my mom’s side, and one of them I had to cut out of my life completely after coming out of the closet. I’m so proud to have adopted you all as my Holiday Aunts. For once, I have both sides of my family again, if only for a while.

    I’m so glad that Jesus led me to this site…..He knew I needed it. Thank you so much, and may the love of the Divine Christ Child be with you this holiday season. <3

    Your Holiday Niece,

    • Ale says:

      You don’t know how much I needed to hear that it’s fine to be a Roman Catholic and a bisexual person. Thank you.

    • Jenna McGeoghegan says:

      I am so glad you have found family here. Everyone needs to know they are loved, and not just at the holidays. We have one little girl, Mary she wishes everyone a Merry Christmas. Also in our beautiful family is my husband Rob, Son Brandon, Daughter Aaryanna, Chosen Son ( we picked him when he was 16) his partner, and Marissa, our chosen daughter. We love adding family to our home and our hearts. Joe and Marissa aren’t our legal kids, but they have been with us for years. Because they needed a home with love too. There are so many of us holiday, and everyday, moms out there that believe in you.

    • Valerie says:

      You are wonderful. I wish I had known that Jesus loved all of us as I struggled through Catholic school as a kid. I’m much older now, and though acceptance of myself took a while, it looks like you’re well on your way. I hope you never forget that God (in all 3 persons) loves you exactly as you are. We are glad you’re here, and wish nothing but the best for you all through the year.

  38. Andrea says:

    Dear Rayah and others who may feel neglected by family….please know there are many of us who want to be your surrogate family – we Love you just the way you are and truly want your struggles to find solutions even if from the hearts around the world who want to send you hugs and our love in capitals letters: HUGs and LOVE! My trans-son, who is 40+, has found others who accept him, LOVE him and would never be cruel to him….hold on, you can find the same….paying it is soon for you, too. Love, love, love from your all-year long Mama.

    • Carla says:

      I have just found this website while sitting and talking with my 15 years old gay daughter . She is the light of my life and I’m so very very proud off her and her courage and brilliance . I see you have enough mom’s this season but would love to help another time in possible :). I also just wanted to send love and light to all the people that read this and need it . You are brilliant and shine and I hope you have the merriest holiday season from me and my beautiful daughter all the way over in England as love can cross the world x

  39. Rayah says:

    I don’t have much to say but as soon as I saw this website–As soon as I read the first post. Not even a few lines and I’m already crying–even now I still am tearing up and I need to wipe it before I’ll be seen by my family ; u ;

    It feels nice to actually have someone/people welcome you with open arms haha. I’m still in the closet and I don’t know if I’ll ever get out of it considering my parents and family are homophones but this made me feel warm and happy.

    Thank you so much for this website, for everyone! It makes me happy that not all will shun us away!

    • Peg says:

      Hopefully we can be the light in your closet and help you see how much you are loved!
      Mom Peg

    • GaGa Barbara says:

      Dear Rayah,

      Some love being sent your direction from Utah. My husband and I look like your typical older couple. Some might not guess that we would support and love you with open arms! Please always remember that there are those unknown supporters out there…even right there where you are. <3
      Whoever you are, where ever you are and whoever you love, you are fine just the way you are!
      I wish for you much love and acceptance this month and all the rest of the months as well. Be well and know that there are those of us that would be happy to have you in their family.

    • Katrina says:

      Much love from Morgan Hill, CA. No one should ever ask you to change. Everyone is perfect just the way they are. Wishing you all the support and love you need. Always here to listen if you ever need an ear. Keep being you!! Xoxox

  40. Nancy says:

    What a lovely tradition this is! My husband is a trans person who has only in recent years been able to shake off the bullying and negative self-image inflicted on him by others because he wasn’t boy enough or man enough or whatever enough that society thought he should be. He’s recently told his parents who he really is and they have offered him love, support, and encouragement, so perhaps his story will give some hope to the younger LGBTQ people who have family struggles.

  41. Bea says:

    I see you have a ton of moms on here but I can’t help but want to send some love out there for someone in the only way I know how. I am Cuban American and for anyone out there who is in need of some love from a Mami. Know that I send a bunch of love out to you in the form of a huge Nochebuena meal. There is always more food than necessary at my table and que sepan aqui se acepta cualquiera. Un beso. 🙂

    • Lukas says:

      Bea, this sounds amazing! Specifically for a friend of mine who is Cuban-American and their family does not accept them. Much love!


  42. Judith says:

    You’ve got enough moms for now, I know, but I want to make myself available for a special purpose. As an observant Jewish woman (godmother to one tiny human, mother to two cats) I know that in our community there are a lot of young people, and not so young people, who feel especially alienated from not just their own parents, but the entire religious community and the religion itself, and also often from G*D. I have a bisexual niece, a trans niece (MTF/genderqueer/genderfluid, uses she or they as applicable pronouns), one best friend who’s bisexual and another who’s bigender, and my wife and I are also gay — and ALL of us are observant Jews, so I’ve both experienced and seen up-close how we can be treated and how we can feel in response to the ways we are treated within our own families and communities.

    So I’d very much like to offer to serve as a Jewish mama within this context, not just for “the” holiday season (December), which isn’t even our big holiday season, but also for the Jewish holiday seasons of autumn and spring. Rosh Hashanah to Simchat Torah, and Passover to Shavuot, are the big ones for us. It’s easy to feel lonely at those times. Please let me help.

  43. Ruth Chichester says:

    Thank you for this beautiful blog! While I am not LGBT, I understand feeling left out and meeting disapproval of family. I was a single mom, living on welfare. My father and brother shunned me and left me out of many holiday gatherings because of their judgemental spouses. It’s hard, when all we see during the holidays is happy families coming together, to be alone or disenfranchised. Your purpose here is a beautiful one and I hope to contribute at some point. Keep up the loving and caring work! May you and yours be blessed this season and beyond. Much love.

  44. Aimee says:

    I’ve just heard about this site and wanted to help, but it seems you have all the moms you need right now. And how incredibly wonderful that you don’t have a deficit of caring people to support the youth this season.

    I would definitely love to help though. Hopefully I can do something for next season. But the outreach is wonderful.

  45. Kate Haley says:

    Hats-off. I see that we already have enough moms but I am cheering you all on. This is the best expression of holiday love I’ve seen. Thank you, thank you, thank you.

  46. Laura Silver says:

    I never thought of myself as a mother. It wasn’t a popular option when I came out. Years later, I engaged a Native American group that was loving and accepting, and suddenly, a lot of the “kids” started calling me “mom.” I adopted a young man in this community, and now have a beautiful granddaughter. Now I would like to help. Please let me know what I can do.

  47. Louise says:

    Would love to be one of the moms. I was emancipated young and mentored by LGBTQ community, shepherded through college, so wish to “pay it forward.” And this is the kind of service that would keep me sane through the heartbreak of holidays. The way out of suffering is through service.

    • Shamama says:

      You are so right Louise! We can really use your help in commenting… see our guidelines and jump in! We’d love to have your heart here…

      • Lori Giannuzzi says:

        I guess I missed the deadline, I was so looking forward to writing a letter as a holiday Mom.

  48. Liberty says:

    I ran across this website I believe for a reason. I have a gay teenage son who is suicidal because society dos not accept him.I love him more than words can ever describe. I have always accepted him and would never change him for anything! If there is any way I could help anyone else I would very much like to. This is very near and dear to my heart.

    • Debra says:

      I hope you and your son find yourselves surrounded with people who have hearts as beautiful as yours.

    • Shamama says:

      Commenting is really needed – our first day we had more than 120 comments, so anything you can do is great!

    • Louise says:

      Hi Liberty, I’m also a mom to a teen son so appreciate your message. Youth today have more resources at school for counselors to send referrals for therapy (reduced fee or free). And then there are 10% clubs which may be ‘underground’ on campus. Perhaps school counselor or psychology teachers could point your son to such a group. They were most helpful to my friends in the 80s when developing, and so much progress has come along since. A friend of my son’s recently came out to him, when 12, and my son said he was relieved to hear his friend get that off his chest because it’s a lot of pressure to go about concealing without one friend to be 100% honest with at school. Why not encourage your son to find that one friend? For many of my friends in high school, I was also that one friend, and I was found in the drama department, along with all my then teen gay friends… we had a small club called Theatre Workshop, and from that group the smaller 10% Club formed, but come to think of it, most members were in Drama Club. LOL. And come to think of it, it’s where my son’s friend found him, too…. Yes, send your kid on to the Drama Department at middle or high school. If he’s not an actor, he could take a technician function with set design or lights — just get him to the theatre and those peeps will keep him cool.

  49. Jonah says:

    You guys saved my life tonight. I honestly thought this world was to dark and judgmental. But y’all were my ray of light. Thank you so much for just starting this! Y’all are true heros

    • Shamama says:

      We are so delighted to be your ray of hope Jonah! We love you and want YOU in our world. Please stay and be the ray of light you are for us, too! Hugs, Shamama

    • Liberty says:

      My son is 14 and gay. I knew before he did ;). He is suicidal because society does not accept him. We live in a small town in the middle of the bible belt.It is not easy for him here.I want to let you know that it isnt always going to be this way. There are A LOT of people out there that are going to love you for exactly who you are. You just have to find your people.I dont even know you and I love and accept you. There are MILLIONS of us out there that do.As you go through life you will find us. Dont give up <3

      • Louise says:

        Hi Liberty, me again. Our sons are close in age. My son has a unique spirit and is genuinely different than most of his peers. He has though amply armed himself with reading, travel, charity, and that’s given him confidence to tackle on the bully types or at least know his rights to request support. We gotta lock in that support group on campus. I say to lock that in, tap into an interest your son naturally loves. I got lucky with Drama for my kid as that is also where the free spirited and most accepting dwell– they can be the most accepting because they are the most ostracized.

        Now, about being suicidal…… I have a long pause here…. I know over a dozen friends who have ended their lives, and then there are some who tried but were saved, and those friends say they did not want to die but wanted the pain to end. The pain comes from feeling alienated, misunderstood, unlovable. Activity helps lighten the load from focusing on grief.

        I find that my heart’s suffering is lightened when I can turn away from my own stuff to focus on someone else’s grief. So I’m wondering if there perhaps is a charity group your son might take an interest in helping out a bit, like an animal shelter or retirement home. But of course the ideal solution is for your son to be happy, joyous and free before others. Only well, if you are surrounded by the rigid, that puts a damper on things.

        Gotta find counseling somehow, whether over phone or online… having an outlet is also important. Not just for your kid but yourself as well as his grief is yours.

        I would say for Christmas or Hanukkah, you can give your son a nice diary with lock and good pen. Encourage him to write out his experiences and feelings. Venture out to a big city with LGBTQ Center drop-in for free counseling. Also maybe look into Bronycon or the My Little Pony community. I know it sounds funny but I have taken my teen to several Brony conventions across America, and let me tell you it is marvelously HEALTHY.

        If you don’t know the Brony people, they’re young-spirited whimsical souls who have embraced My Little Pony lore as an interactive device for sharing enchanted acceptance with others. It’s the most inclusive batch of people I’ve ever encountered. And you’ve got soldiers in full military gear with guns drawn running with plush ponies and pink chiffon princesses — quite the scene… and for those Transgender, a serious homecoming.

        The world is changing quickly, more and more each day, for the better. Have a good Thanksgiving weekend. We’re off to amusement park now!

    • Melissa says:

      Jonah, Thank you for sharing some of your pain! I am so sorry that some people in this world are un-accepting. Please know that there are others who are here for you, and accept your uniqueness with love and light!

    • Tonja S says:

      I am the proud mother of 4 children, my daughter is 15 and is openly gay and I have a son that is openly bi. I have always taught them to be who they are, true happiness and acceptance comes from within. Be a light in the darkness… are perfect because you are you.

  50. April says:

    As a mom, it breaks my heart to think that anyone can feel unloved and unwanted at any time of year, especially by their own family. What you are doing here is wonderful.

  51. Cecil says:

    I just found this website through Tumblr! What you guys do is absolutely amazing! I’m a pansexual trans boy, and I’m not getting much support other than my friends, who are all part of the LGBT+ community. Being deadnamed and misgendered constantly by my family – especially my parents – has taken a very large toll on me. I can’t wait for the day I can finally be the man I am! I just have to wait, since I’m only 14 and I’ve been told many times that this is ‘just a phase’. You guys are awesome! :*

    • Margaret says:

      Hi Cecil,
      Hang in there, kiddo, the next few years will go by fast! Keep yourself surrounded by those who love you and appreciate the person you are. I wish so much I could take away the hurt and sadness you must feel, but I know deep inside you have the strength to get through this. When you really think about it, Cecil, really we must feel sorry for those who are so unenlightened that they cannot think beyond what they have been taught and will probably always be like that. In a way, you are the stronger one here, the one who is mentally, morally and yes, physically superior. Hold onto that thought. God bless!

  52. Tonya S says:

    I just found this site via Facebook. I am so happy to see the support, my son (19) “came out” to us this year as bisexual. He said it was easy because his dad and I have always told he and his brother that we will love them no matter what…and we do and will, always. I cannot even imagine not supporting my kids just because of who they may love or want to be with.

  53. Julie says:

    I just found this link on Facebook. I absolutely love what you ladies are doing. I would love to be a part of this. I am a mom of three with another on the way. If there is anything I can do, please let me know.
    Much love,

  54. Linda Kepner says:

    I’m a little older than the moms whose pictures I see here, but I’m a late bloomer – late to have a child, late to discover I’m an Aspergirl, late to discover I have TWO brothers who have dealt with issues all their lives – but where we grew up, it seemed like everyone was always attacking everyone else for SOMETHING! You just hunkered down and took it. I’m thrilled to see so many good people standing up for themselves (as I have learned to do about the Asperger, and my daughter’s and husband’s ADD), and I say: Hang in there. You may never know you’re being a wonderful role model for someone else.

  55. jeffery craft says:

    i dont know how to get in contact with the owners of this site. its a great idea that they have something like this to help people.

    have you all ever thought about doing a site like this for those who are mentally ill? while some of us are taken care of by others like parents friends or at hospitals there are a bunch of us who live on there own and can do with some acceptance love and reassuring, suffering from a very serious mental illness i know id love to have someone write letters to me, i know this is not the appropriate place to post this and im sorry i couldent find the contact info. keep up the good work and may you be blessed through the holidays

    • Marianne says:

      Let’s see if we can set up something like that jeffery. Will take this offline if the moderators can get us connected.

      • Hosannah says:

        Anything formulating with a potential mentally ill support site? I’d love to help out if I can! It’s a topic near and dear to my heart!

        This website is amazing! It’s such a wonderful idea. I passed it along on my facebook page to spread the word!

        • Melimom says:

          I think this site is amazing! What a great idea to give the gift of love and acceptance! Would love to help out here and if the site for the mental illness too!
          I’m a Mom of 2 boys trying hard to teach acceptance and empathy are the paths to your own peace.
          Keep up the love!

    • Melanie says:

      I think that would be a great idea. I’m
      One that could really use it. Some terrible things happened earlier this week that have led to final alienation from my family. I don’t know what to do.

    • rothko says:

      hey jeffrey. just wanted to say i’m interested in your project too. i have bipolar disorder and live a pretty great life right now but i full well know that others don’t have it that great at all. i’d be interested in helping.

    • jill says:

      I too would like to communicate with the originators of this site. What a brilliant gift to all of us and could be expanded as you suggest. I have a male to female trangendered niece who changed her first and last name and wants NOTHING to do with our family. I don’t blame her since they are rabid religious Right and judgemental squared. I was hoping this site could be a way to convey to her that I most certainly DO celebrate her as her authentic self. II would also like to support her monetarily from time to time. I will be active and supportive on this site if I can figure out all of the nuances. To ALL LGBT… you are accepted and loved by me! Happy Holidays!!!!!
      If you live in Kansas City, Center for Spiritual Living is a GREAT accepting community. CSLKC.ORG

  56. Jensen says:

    Thank you for this project. I’ll try to remember to check back each day this season. It’s a sad time for me because I don’t have anyone to talk to and can’t do most of the festive stuff because of no money. I haven’t been able to get a steady job. I’m queer and don’t interview very well because I have ASD. I’m currently trying to get anything I can, and one of the few places that will consider me is very conservative because they work with kids, so I’m probably going to be fired if I act like myself in anyway. It’s hard to believe that in 2015 there are places like that. I wish that parents would think about that, but I’m sure they’re the same as my family and would rather not see people like me exist. Anyway, thank you for caring. I sometimes feel tired of everything and want to give up. I hope that being able to read the comforting messages helps this year.

    • Julie says:

      Jensen, my heart goes out to you, especially since both I and my daughter are Aspies. It can feel so hard to keep going with so many struggles at once. But I know that you will find ways to express the special things you have to offer that make your life and other people’s better!

      All the love.

    • Janice says:

      I’m having a hard time finding work, myself! Just know that a) you are not alone; b) you are in a protected class as far as discrimination goes (check the EEOC website); c) people (like me) care about you! We care what happens to you. You have a useful purpose on the Earth. You may not have found it yet, but you will! Learn to love yourself, and you will grow. Keep us posted.

      Mommy loves you! (((((hugs)))))

    • Peg says:

      Your letter breaks my heart.
      check the Living section of the local paper ~ they may list free things to do.
      I am so sorry that you are struggling to find work.
      See if there are some local LGBT support type groups in your area ~ maybe practice interview techniques with someone.
      I hope things turn around for you soon.
      I Love You and will be thinking about you this holiday season.
      Mom Peg

  57. Blake says:

    Hi everyone! I hope that i’m not too late. Christmas is knocking our doors already and i have decided that this year i won’t hide over my feelings, i want to show the world who i’m for real (” Gay” ) and see if they accepted me or not. this is what i had up my mind untill i was humiliated, beaten up and kicked out of the door on a snowy night, i got to pass 3 nights with my grandmother but then when she and the rest of our family got the news she tried to ‘ lecture ‘ me about life choices so i packed up and left right away. i am now staying in a motel room. i am using my past 5 years savings to try and live until further solution. as much as i need financial support on this holiday i am really in need of emotional support and so i’ve been told that this is the right place.
    Yours sincerely – Blake

    • Tiffany says:

      You are very brave to let everyone know who you are. Things are hard now, but they will get better. You are obviously someone who plans for their future. Be assured that there so many people out in the world who will accept you for you, and give you the love, and acceptance you deserve.

    • Holiday Mom Lee says:

      Hi Blake,

      Yes, you have come to the right place. We are so glad you are here! I hear how much pain you are in and I am so, so sorry your family has not reacted as you had hoped. Know that you have a virtual family right here that loves and accepts you for the brave, wonderful soul that you are. I am reaching out to you right now and sending you all the love in my heart. Can you feel it? Hugs, hugs and more hugs.

      Please come back every day to read our letters and get the emotional support that you need during the holidays. We are here for you.

      From my heart to yours.
      Your Holiday Mom Lee

    • christina says:

      Hi Blake,
      Im so sorry you had to go through that. Please know there are millions of people out here who do care. You will be in my thoughts and prayers tonight that others will come in your life and show you the way. There is absolutely nothing wrong with who you are. For those who.cant see your awesomeness it is about their blindness and never about how wonderful you are. Happy Holidays Blake!!

    • Hez says:

      Hi Blake,

      You are a shining light to everyone in the world who wishes to freely be themselves. What you are doing takes courage, and I see perseverance and strength in your convictions. This is the beginning of a new chapter in your life, one in which you will experience love and acceptance from yourself and from many, many others who will come into your life. There are many, many people who love you right now, just the way you are. As a mom, my greatest hope for my kids is for them to have courage like you, strength like you, and the self respect that you exemplify in your actions. You’re a role-model, and this is the beginning of the rest of your life. I wish you a very peaceful holiday season, and a beautiful new year.

      With Kindness and Unconditional Love,


    • Daniela says:

      Blake, Your post breaks my heart. Your family is missing out on life with you. In time I hope they realize their horrible mistake. As a mom to a gay 19 year old son, I’m so sorry your parents don’t understand. I’m sorry they don’t support you and realize it’s not a choice but it’s who you are. Today is a new day. Hold your head up high and be yourself, whether they accept you or not. You can only be happy if you are who you are. Live for you, not for others. I’ll keep checking back here to see how you’re doing. ♤

    • Mommy Janice says:

      Blake, I’m very sorry that you went through that. It literally breaks my heart that ‘love comes with conditions’ in some families. Fortunately, I’m not one of those moms! Thank God, you have a place to stay (for now)! I’ve done the ‘staying in the motel’ thing. It gets old QUICK! I’m glad you reached out to us. I’m glad I became a member of this blog. You’re not ‘unloveable’. You are worthy of love. Stay true to yourself, and you’ll be okay.

      Mommy loves you!

    • Eileen Scherzinger says:

      As difficult as it may have been for you to come out to your family, it must be freeing to be able to be YOU! It takes courage to do this. Sometimes families need time to come to terms with a child coming out, but even if they never do, there will always be those of us who love you for who you are. Thanks for reaching out and I am sending lots of hugs to you!!!

      Love Mom-Eileen

    • Debra says:

      You are a wonderful person just as you are. I’m sorry that your family will miss out on wonderful times with you. But know that you are loved.

    • Louise says:

      Blake, you’re like a superhero in training but haven’t been informed of this blessing (and a curse). But that’s the way it is for all superheroes if you look at their histories and how whatever they loved was taken away, leaving them stripped bare of securities until falling into a vat or acid or being consumed by a bunch of penguins or whatever unfortunate end. For you today, it could be the temporary motel stasis of living day by day, getting to get by… but that is heroic. It’s on your own terms, by your own hands, authored by your own dreams. Your Grandma is of another generation. I lived in mine when water faucets were with signs that read “colored” and blacks were forced to sit in the back… I remember that… and I remember when gay people were called all kinds of terrible things and beaten on the streets, but we have a US President today which makes same sex marriages legal, so America’s gotta grow the F up.

      You matter, Blake, and it’s hard today but by golly the indicator of a miracle around the corner is unbearable stupid pain…. it’s like labor pains but by sticking through the hard times, there is a positive pay out, so you hold on and bite through, like mebbe Deadpool would, or KickAss Girl. Just take notes, write everything down…. and maybe break out a jar to toss in a couple items you’re grateful for, like having the sense and practice to save five years for a ‘rainy day’ like todays? That’s a miracle. And you set that up….

      It’s all in you, Blake (this said with voice of Yoda to Luke).

    • Peg says:

      It looks like you are getting quite a bit of support here!
      Please check the internet to see if you have a homeless shelter in your area that has transitional housing. They may be able to help yu get set up in an apartment/room so you won’t be spending all of your savings.
      Mom Peg

    • Blake says:

      Thank you all for your support 🙂 You got me all in tears for all of your kindness , I have never expected such support from you , I feel much better now … and just to let you know , things are getting way better, i got a job at a nearby restaurant and i’m now staying with my bestfriend in his apartment, i hope that one day my family will find out their mistake and treat me with much kindness like you guys did , I love you all , and have a great Holiday
      … 🙂 Thank you all again

    • Sunshine Mum says:

      I am soo proud of you for being strong & standing up to yourself!! I am terribly sorry to hear that your bio family I not supporting you with open arms & open hearts…but I am! Unconditional Love is the most important thing in the world & my heart is overflowing with it for you. I did not go through sexual identity issues growing up, but I was shunned for so many things! I was raised to be open minded & truly couldn’t understand how things I had no control over could be used by other kids to shun & ostracize me! So I truly understand how much it hurts to have people judge you by the way you are born, the parents you have or don’t, the color of your hair or skin…..its just so bloody wrong! I love you so much for being exactly who you are! You are a beautiful unique person & a wonderful addition to this crazy, fun beautiful world we live in!
      Big hugs to you,
      Sunshine Mum

    • Stephmom says:


      You ate not alone. Reace out to a no. Denominational church or a local LGBT group so you have a more stable long term place to stay and KNOW you are here for a reason. Your story is going to be the light that changes someone elses life. I send you so much love, my dear boy.

  58. Beth says:

    Saw you linked on FB, and already sent in my contact info to you so I can help next year!!
    SO EXCITED to share the love!

  59. Julie says:

    Oh gosh, Shamama. As a mom of a transgender daughter my heart is broken a little every time I’m reminded that carrying on being a loving mom isn’t what everyone thinks is the normal response. Seeing this project for the first time made me cry. I would like to help in every way humanly possible – and of course, while I’m talking, I would also like to say to all the “kids” that you are loved and lovable, and please give yourselves your favorite warm drink from me, okay?

    Love, Julie

    • Andrea says:

      just wanted to add, Julie and Shamama, that I would like to say “hello” and extend much love and warm,warm hugs to our LBGTQ adults as well as today’s youth …their battles may have been long, but they are showing this All-Year Round Mom and many, many others what amazing human beings they are in bringing their gifts to us. I pray every Mom and Dad realizes how beautiful it is to be able to be yourself and loved unconditionally.

  60. Alfredo hernandez says:

    I love this website I saw it on an LGBT acc on instagram I have come out to my sister and my cousins and I kissed my bf and my sister said tht I’m disgusting and I just IDK wht I feel IDK thx for the support all u moms love u all

    • Reggie says:

      My dear Alfredo,
      You had the courage to show your love in front of other people, and that is a wonderful thing.
      You are not disgusting, you are brave. Being open about who you love is an act of bravery and I am very very proud of you.
      No matter what, please remember you have my love and support.

      Warm hugs from
      “Aunty” Reg

  61. hunter rogers says:

    I saw this website on instagram. My mom kicked me out, and i am DFCS custody so holidays are very hard. Yall give me hope that there is still love in this world.
    Thank you.

    • Reggie says:

      Dear Hunter,
      I am very sorry to hear about your situation. I wish things could be different and that you could enjoy the holidays the way you wanted.
      Yes, there is still love in this world, and I want you to know that in this wonderful community you will find plenty of it. All of these Moms, Aunts, Cousins are not blood related to you but they will love you and support you the best way they can- and so do I.

      You, my dear, have a place in this world, and don’t let anyone tell you otherwise.
      Warm hugs from
      “Aunty” Reg

    • Jamie says:

      Hunter there is a lot of love in the world. You showed you loved and respected yourself enough to live in truth. I admire you and please stay strong. I will send many hugs and love your way!

    • christina says:

      Family is not all blood, family are those who love you. Im appauled that a mother could kick her child out for being gay. Never forget you are awesome!! Happy Holidays!!

    • Louise says:

      Hunter, My Cousin! Dude, I know the foster care route and it blows chunks! Get emancipated! I did at 14 and that was with the help of the police. You want to freak the Courts and social workers out, get a job and do well in school, and act as if they’re not there because really they aren’t, and really, the tragic deal is that you are on your own and will be for the rest of life. But the good news is that if you don’t get emancipated before your 18th, you will be 18 one day, and you will then have your freedom. Only, it is super rough having freedom when there are no resources so you have to grow up earlier than your peers. You have to get a job, get a bank account, enroll in Driver’s Education. It’s easier if you can do this while in high school, and act as if you’re college bound because the only way out of poverty and objectification is through EDUCATION. You have GOT to go to college. And you can do it. Don’t wait for anyone to give you permission, just do it. There are scholarships for people like us, and buddy, I did take it….. I got emancipated at 14 when I joined Police Explorers, got a job, showed Judge my good grades, stayed in school…… and that got me free tuition through UCLA…….. but you gotta do more than have a dream. I’m saying you do. Are you in?

  62. Mako says:

    Thank you so much for your message and I needed it. I’m not gonna lie, I did tear up by the end of that video. Even though my different sexuality isn’t necessarily the reason, my mom doesn’t want to be of any actual support for me anymore. She doesn’t accept my mental illness and thinks I’m stupid because I didn’t immediately get into the workforce and live on my own like she did. She just talks to me to feel like she’s still a ‘good mom’. I wish my mom could have a fourth as much of a golden heart as you all do.
    I really needed to hear that. Just… Thank you.

    • Reggie says:

      My dear Mako,
      You are not less than anyone else because of your ilness. Many of us struggle with things that aren’t visible to the eyes of others. We are just humans, and as humans no one is perfect. All we can aim to be is a balanced sum of imperfections, and we work to reach that goal.
      My heart is not golden. It has so many scars I can pretend it’s a roadmap to some fantasy land. But you know what? I am proud of my scars. They show I did not fear to live, and I still don’t. The thing with hearts and souls that were broken is that they can become stronger in the very place they were mended. They can expand to welcome people we believe deserve to be there.

      You, my dear, have a place in my heart. Be welcome! Grab a cushion and sit next to the fireplace if you want to.

      Warm hugs from
      “Aunty” Reg

  63. Alex says:

    I just found this website today and I’m in tears of happiness. I live in a strict, Christian household and although I’ve come out to everyone, I am not accepted. I’m a transgender guy and I’m panromantic demisexual. (panromantic meaning I fall in love with anyone despite their gender and demisexual meaning I don’t experience sexual attraction until I build a strong bond with someone) I’m constantly misgendered and called by my dead name. My mom never fails to remind me what gender I was assigned at birth and it destroys me a little bit each time she tells me. Knowing that there is a safe place like this where I can feel loved and accepted makes me feel incredible. I’ve never had something like this before and I’m so thankful I’ve found this website.

    • Reggie says:

      Dear Alex,
      It doesn’t matter what you were when you were born. It matters what you are now. And, to me, you are a person with the capability of loving others the way you wish to be loved.
      You are brave and deserving. Don’t let anyone put a shade on your light. Be yourself and receive our love.

      Warm hugs from
      “Aunty” Reg

  64. Lori Giannuzzi says:

    Hi,I heard about your website from my daughter and her friend.I would very much like to write a letter and applaud you for this wonderful website and love that it brings.

  65. Jenna says:

    Thank you so much for this beautiful and touching display of love. Growing up in a rather conservative Christian household, sexuality has always been a hot topic issue for me. I have only come out to my mom, and we have never again discussed it. Somedays I can feel her judgment and while I know she loves me, I don’t know if she accepts me. So I thank you for your moving acceptance. This has really helped me. Bless you beautiful woman. <3

    • Shamama says:

      Bless you dear Jenna! We love and accept you here…. I am so glad we have helped you! HUGS across the miles! Shamama

  66. Ellen says:

    Waiting for the day when my mom will think this:) thank you! I never thought I’d meet a mom who is cep ting. I thought the generational gap was just too big but you’re awesome

    • Shamama says:

      I am so glad we met then! I hope your mom does understand someday. You deserve it! Love, Shamama

  67. Olivia says:

    Thank you so much, it has been a tough year and this has really helped over the holiday season. As soon as possible my mum wants me out of the house since I came out as a lesbian a few months ago. I spent Christmas alone as I wasnt alowed to travel with my family who were going away to visit other family members in London. This has really helped me and I am so appreciative of the the work you all do. Thank you all.-Olivia

    • Shamama says:

      Bless you dear Olivia, that is terrible to alone and not allowed. I send big hugs across the miles… you are just who we created this for! LOVE to you, Shamama

  68. Candice says:

    You are a VERY important mom! You have made me feel like it is perfectly ok to be myself and I thank you for that. I have never truly been able to be myself (I am pansexual/genderfluid) and I come from an extremely religious family so acceptance as a part of the lgbtq+ community is not something that can be expected I would like you to know that you have assured me that the entire world is not like my parents. You and this site have made the holidays bearable. i have never met you and yet I love you so much it’s difficult to explain but thank you again for accepting me for who I am.

    • Shamama says:

      Dear Candice, thank you for that! And thank you for being you. I am so glad we made the holidays more bearable for you. All of us moms here love you back, so you have TONS of love coming your way. Keep being you, please! The world needs the real you, pansuexual/genderfluid and all! Love, Shamama

  69. Emily says:

    I am so grateful for everything you do! I am lesbian and have directed several more of my LGBT friends to this blog, because having a loving, caring mother is something everybody needs, even if they aren’t your real mother. I am fortunate enough to have a mother who loves and supports me as much as all of the moms on this blog, which is a remarkable thing. But sadly not everybody can say the same. You do great work and I am so glad that you are here for everybody who needs a mother, especially during the holiday season!

    • Shamama says:

      I am so glad for you Emily, and thank you for sharing. We are saving lives here this Holiday season… suicides stopped with real love, because our love IS real, even if we don’t know you personally. HUGS to you! Shamama

  70. Violet says:

    I’m crying right now! I’ve always felt like I don’t have a mom even though I technically do! I’m lesbian and my mom thinks it’s a phase or something! She doesn’t care about me at all and yells at me. Thanks for making this blog! It’s amazing how you take your time to come and be a mom for all these people! Thank you!

  71. Mahad says:

    I am in tears because I don’t know you but I always wanted a mom as accepting as you. My mom always told me that a man and another man having a relationship was a big sin. She barely lets me do anything. I’m not allowed to be friends with people I want to be friends with, and I’m not allowed to speak my mind or be who I want to be. You’re super caring, open minded and accepting and I’ll always be glad that you would be my mom instead.

  72. Perry says:

    I can’t stop crying, this video meant so much to me. You are a beautiful person and thank you, thank you so much, Mom.

  73. Sarah Martin says:

    I just want to say thank you. Thank you so much for all the love you have shared. My family is strongly opposed to my lifestyle verbally outspoken among other small jabs and gestures, because of this I have never told them who I am or what I stand for. I feel like a stranger in my own body around them. The holidays are very stressful and hard. I needed the emotional support that I got from the letters and the video. Thank you. Thank you so much from the bottom of my heart.

    Happy holidays to you and yours,

    • Shamama says:

      I am sorry to hear that Sarah, but oh so glad you found us! We send love in buckets… and a new letter each day through the season… enjoy!

  74. Bianca says:

    I’m so happy that I’m crying right now.
    Thank you for resotring my color.
    Thank you for making me feel like I am a person again.
    Thank you.

    • Shamama says:

      Dear Bianca, I am so happy you are happy! Thanks for watching my video… I truly do send love in buckets! xoxox – Shamama

    • Aegina says:

      You are a person, Bianca, and a beautiful one. You dream, you love, you are. You exist and so the world is more special. Don’t forget that. We are here, and we love you.

    • Aegina says:

      You are a person, Bianca, and a beautiful one. You dream, you love, you are. You exist and therefore the world is more special. Don’t forget that. We are here and we love you.


  75. Benjamin says:

    This was exactly what I needed to hear, especially so close to the holidays. While my family isn’t “outright discriminatory,” they have chosen to ignore who I am and who I’ve grown to be. Thank you so, so much for sharing your love!

    Have a wonderful holiday season!

    • Shamama says:

      I am so glad to have been here for you Benjamin! You are too amazing to be ignored… your holiday moms are here to say so! Love, Shamama

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