To hear Peg read her letter to you, click here!
My Dear Holiday Child,
You can thank your agender sibling for this letter; I wouldn’t have found this website on my own. We read all the letters last year and I was struck by the number of you that needed a mom. I am overjoyed that they thought I’d be a good Holiday Mom. I understand that you feel like this holiday season will not seem to be as warm and loving as a Hallmark card. Let me let you in on a secret ~ Hallmark cards aren’t real and parents can be stupid and ignorant. We may come across like we have all the answers when, in reality, we may not even know the questions. But we can also be loving, caring and accepting. I am very happy that you have chosen to join our family.
Tensions can rise in any family this time of year. We all have high expectations that may fall flat or hurt us. Please just hold on, it does get better. When things get tough, please remind yourself that it will pass. Your grandmother always told me that “it’ll be alright” and I’d get angry with her “how do you know” and she say that she just knew. I have to admit, that she was right, it did get better.
Please forgive me – I don’t always use the correct pronoun. It doesn’t mean that you aren’t recognized for who you are. It just means that speech patterns can be difficult to change and I’m trying. Also, I’m a hugger. I try to be aware of when you’ve had enough but sometimes I can’t tell. I just love you so much that I can’t let go. If we’re going to be honest, I’m also a cryer.
If you can, please find a little piece in your heart to allow me to comfort you. I’ll bring you some hot chocolate or tea and maybe a few cookies. Do you like homemade chocolate chip ones? We could sit on your bed and not say anything. We could talk about the music you like or the book you just read ~ you are still reading a lot, right? It’s been so long and I’m curious to see how you’ve grown and changed. I so wish that we were sitting together as you read this letter. I would take you in my arms and hold you. I know that you don’t always like it, but I’ll hold you in a loving embrace until you pull away. You’re safe here. I’ll respect your boundaries.
Of all the holidays, Thanksgiving is my favorite. I love to cook many different kinds of vegetables, bake bread and get the house smelling of a huge turkey dinner. I used to love the way my mom set the table. I try to do it as well as her but she had that decorating, artistic flair that passed over me to my children and you. She’s been gone for two years now and I still miss her. If you see me get emotional while I’m cooking it’s because I’m missing my mom. Thank you for asking about her, and for the way you ask if there is anything you can do to help with dinner. You are so polite! It’s nice to have an extra set of hands in the kitchen. No, I don’t think that it’s odd how much you like mashed potatoes, and now you know how to make them without any lumps! Remember when we went apple picking this fall and I made some applesauce and put it in a mason jar? We’ll open one up and have it with dinner. I don’t know why I make so much food, but we’ll have leftovers for a few days. Turkey sandwiches with cranberry sauce and stuffing. Turkey and vegetable soup. Does it get any better than that? It’s time to dim the lights, light the candles and turn on Pandora for some classical music (I know, Spotify is better but I’m stuck on Pandora, what can I say?)
I love when we all finally sit down at the table and I ask everyone to tell me what they are thankful for this year. Your dad will mumble something extraordinary, your siblings will roll their eyes at me, yet say something heartwarming and meaningful. I am looking forward to hearing what you are thankful for this year. What am I thankful for? That’s easy, this year I’m thankful for you. You’ve come into my life and stolen my heart. It’s time to say grace.
We’ll all hold hands and recite the prayer that my family has said for generations. OK, well, your dad and I will say the prayer and the kids will just look blankly at me because they don’t believe in religion anymore and holding hands is just an excuse for squeezing each others hands too tightly, maybe you feel the same way? Well, it’s ok because we’re all in this together. UGH, I hate having milk bottles on the table but they always end up there. I prefer to drink sparkling cider in fancy champagne glasses but one glass is enough because it is too sweet. So it’s time to eat, and eat. I hope you brought your appetite. Yes, first course is always fruit salad, then a regular salad, then all the vegetables and turkey. After dinner we can just hang out for a bit. I’ll always ask if someone wants to play cribbage or some other table game. Don’t worry, no one ever wants too so don’t feel bad about saying no. Someday someone is going to surprise me and say yes. We’ll relax for awhile, call relatives and wish them a happy Thanksgiving. Maybe you’ll go upstairs and listen to music and digest this huge meal. Then it’s on to the pies. I didn’t know you’d never made one before and yours came out great! I love the design you made with the extra dough.
I am so thankful for you. I love you for being you ~ your creativity, the clothes you wear, the way you style your hair, and your opinions. You have amazing strength and insight. I am proud of you too. You are a wondrous person and deserve to be loved, respected, listened to, acknowledged and so much more. You are beautiful inside and out. This would be a better world if more people were like you. I just hope that someday soon you will appreciate you and much as I do.
Please be gentle with yourself. You are the only you that I have. What I hope for you this holiday season is that you know that you are loved and supported for who you are. I am thankful that you were born and came into my life. Please take some time to find a little peace during the holidays, however that may look to you. I will think of you and say a little prayer whenever I have a piece of apple pie!
With all my love,
Your Holiday Mom