I’ve missed you so much. I’m sending a warm hug your way.
I wish I wasn’t so far away so I could tell you every day that you are loved and needed. But since I’m not here, I am hoping that you can find supportive people to be your chosen family. People that love you and accept you. They should not be abusive or toxic. You deserve more than that. If you haven’t found them yet, don’t worry, they are out there! Meanwhile, I hope this letter warms your heart like you warm mine.
Let’s talk about your identity for a minute. I’m sorry if someone did not accept you. This is not a phase and saying so is dismissing your feelings. You are a whole, beautiful human being! If you should choose not to come out to a family member this holiday season, that’s OK. I want my child to do what is best for them. If you need to protect your heart, do so. If you are ready to come out, I’m there for you!
I wish I could be there for you more. If you start to feel really blue this winter, I ask you to please reach out to someone for help. In a crisis and thinking of hurting yourself, please call your local crisis hotline, someone is always there to listen.
This holiday season I would like you to take a deep breath and listen to this: You are so important to me. You are a loving and loved. You are a valuable person that has a purpose in this world. You have endured pain and rejection and yet, you are still here. Getting through the day means you are surviving and a better tomorrow awaits. If you are having a hard time this season, I wanted to offer a mantra you could use to tell yourself while doing some deep breathing or just to post somewhere where you will be reminded, “I am beautiful, I am worthy, I am enough.”
I will be thinking of you while I’m baking cookies and trimming the tree at home. Even though I only have this letter to offer you now, you are my special holiday child and I love you.
Your holiday Mom, Christie