Happy New Years From “Momma” Dean

Listen To The Audio Recording Of This Message

Hello My Beautiful Children,

I am not a mom, nor am I a father, instead I am a caregiver. In my social circle, I have always been the caretaker. Even when I was homeless, I was the caretaker. That is how I wound up with the nickname, “Momma.” It just breaks my heart to think that there are some of you who will not receive the warmth of love this holiday season. In light of this sadness, I am opening the doors to the home that is in my heart, and welcoming each and every one of you inside to sit by the fire. Let us regale each other with stories, rejoice with music, and bask in love. 

Many of the mothers and the dads out there are from one end of a vast spectrum. I am from your end, the one whose family does not “approve” of the gender that I love. When I came out, my mother and step-father felt the need to “repair” me and try to turn me into more of a man (whatever that means, he he). My extended family didn’t, and still doesn’t, want my lifestyle around them. And after three years of being told that I was wrong, going to hell, the whole nine yards, I made the decision to “separate” from my mother. We didn’t talk for four years after that and it was very hard for me. I needed and wanted my mother. It was during this time that I turned my need/want outward and started taking care of those that needed/wanted the same thing I was missing. In those four years, I learned a wonderful thing that I have carried with me into my adult years: No matter whose blood is in your veins that does not make a family. True Family are those who love you regardless. After four years of not speaking to her, I got an email from my mother. She made her amends, and today we have a wonderful relationship. It turns out that she just needed her own time to come to terms with my sexual orientation. So, if your family has turned their backs on you please do not give up hope, one day they MAY SURPRISE YOU and realize that they are missing out on a wonderful thing.

I tell you this brief bit because I want you to know that you are not alone. There are a lot of us who have been where you are right now, who have struggled and survived being ousted from our families. However, there are families much like the one I have now, whose love and caring constantly grows to include new people every day. And it is to this family that I offer you a VIRTUAL place of love, hope, and security. This holiday season, whatever holiday it may be for you, you should know that you are loved, and that you are beautiful and so much worth knowing. And when you are sitting wherever you are sitting when the loneliness hits, I hope you feel the arms of everyone in my family circling around you and holding you in comfort. When the day seems like there is no light whatsoever, I hope you can see in the distance the members of my family holding the candle up for you to help keep the darkness at bay.

Happy Holidays my dear beloved children and welcome to my family. Be blessed and keep hope. And with the coming New Year, may you find yourself walking in the comfort and safety of your own Family. It is my deepest hope that this New Year all of our wonderful children are lifted to their highest potential, and I look forward to seeing what you all have to offer.

Love and Hugs,

“Momma” Dean


  1. Jackie L. Robinson says:

    Great way to begin the new year, Dean. Hope that there’s always room for change, for love to take her place and melt away the ugliness pushing her away. xo

  2. Antonio Neto says:

    How great is to hear from you! I got teared eyes, because everyday I had such a wonderful message for me here. And I Wasley fulfilled with hope, but as you in the past, I am living without my family care and love. Most of all, I always feel lonely in my own house. You know, this holidays was cold and a bit sad, but as soon as I read your letter, I now definetly decided to “separate” from my family. Now I know that my real family is my beloved boyfriend and my friends. They accept me the way I truly am! And I feel amazing around them! Anyway, I really hope my family can surprise me for good, but until there, I know I have you, my dear moms and dads from here! I can asure you that your message was truly inspiring! And I love you from the bottom of my heart! Happy 2013!!! Thank you very much!

    • Antonio Neto says:

      Sorry about my mistakes! Sometimes the device changes my words! I forgot to say, beijos do Brasil para você. Hope we can meet someday. God bless you always.

  3. Tarquin says:

    This is a wonderful, beautiful and heartwarming thing to do! everyone on here are lovely sweet people 🙂

  4. Dean says:

    Dearest Emilio,
    Distance be damned. Where ever you are please know that you are in my thoughts. And when you are feeling down know that I am sending you hugs and comfort. May your New Year be Blesses with many wonderful things. <3 and hugs

  5. Felix Emilio Alvarado says:

    Your words were very special to me, thanks. Reading your letter I understand why you are such a nice, tender, caretaker snd handsome man. Sorry that you are far from me, because right now I need a big hug. Thanks. Happy New Year Full of blessings.
    Emilio (Puerto Rico)

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