Happy Holidays: Mom Logan

Listen To The Audio Recording Of This Message

To My Precious Holiday Child,

You may be reading this in your room, or at a coffee shop, or at a friend’s house, or at school. Wherever you are, it is likely that you are seeing signs of holiday celebrations . . . shopping, decorations, and such. I’m seeing them too, and it’s reminding me of you. Why? Because when I think of you, I think of the greatest gift I’ve ever been given . . . a tiny little person put into my arms, perfect in every way. My own LGBTQ child. Like my own child, you are a gift.

When my son came to me at age 15 and said, “Mom, I’m gay,” I cried . . . not because he was gay, but because I know the world can be cruel, and one day I would have to let him go to face it without me. To me, you are just like him . . . precious, irreplaceable and bravely facing an uncertain world. Just like my own child, during this holiday season and always, you have a welcomed place in my home and in my heart.

We are atheists, so our family is very laid back on the more religious holidays. We do observe a few traditions, but mostly we exchange gifts and spend time together. It’s the love that matters most to us. So no matter what you believe, or don’t believe, your love will be what makes you fit right in with us. I hope you can imagine sharing a big turkey dinner with us, or just hanging out or going to the movies. Please know that this year, I’ll be thinking of you.

I know that because you are part of the LGBTQ community, your life may not have seemed like a celebration so far. The world is not always kind or accepting, and you may wonder why things have to be so difficult. When I think of these times, I want to wrap my arms around you and tell you that you are so loved and so wanted . . . because you are. You may be wishing that you could come out, but are feeling afraid of how your friends and family will react. You may be always hiding the real you from the world, or you may be out, but your family doesn’t accept who you are.

I accept you as the wonderful gift that you are now and have been, since the moment you were born. You were born a gift and that hasn’t changed, even if others don’t always see it. Please realize that I’m not the only one who knows you are precious. There are people all around you . . . people you haven’t met yet, future friends, lovers, neighbors who accept you and will love you for who you are. They are out there. You are not alone.

Wishing you love, peace, and happiness always,

Mom Logan

 

14 comments

  1. Emmett Luka says:

    Dear Logan,
    My name is Emmett and you’re right, I am seeing signs of the holiday season. Here at the University where I attend school they recently decorated to make everyone in my dorm feel more at home. I’ve never been more sad in my life. Seeing the tree in the lobby reminded me of the 12 Christmases I spent decorating trees with the woman who gave birth to me and my step father whom she married. Part of me broke when I saw the Christmas tree all lit up. I haven’t spoken to the woman who gave birth to me in almost three years because she doesn’t deserve the right to call herself a mother. She didn’t protect me. She abused me and let her husband do so for 12 years until I reported it at age 16 and got help. I’m writing to thank you for being my holiday mom this year. I am a 19 year old trans man with no mother and it really is comforting to know there is someone out there who cares. Someone who doesn’t hit or kick or throw or beat. Someone real. Someone warm and caring. So, Thank you.
    Love,
    Emmett

    • Mom Logan says:

      My dear Emmett,
      Reading your words broke my heart. I am so very sorry you are feeling so sad at a time when you see people around you cheerful and celebrating. I admire your courage and your strength! You were in an abusive situation and you had the strength to get help and take care of yourself. Do you realize just how special and wonderful you are? I am proud of you! I’m sending you warm hugs and happy smiles from my heart because I am so, so glad to know you! I know you have a lot of anger and hurt in your heart. It takes time for so much hurt to heal. But please know this is a safe place for you. You are loved and cherished..always.
      Much love to you, sweetheart.

  2. Rich says:

    Logan,

    Your message touches me because I have been party to a similar story. I have only recently come out to some of my family – my parents, an aunt and a cousin – and am still gathering up the strength to tell the rest of them. When I told my aunt, she told me about how she and my uncle met. His family is from Puerto Rico, and she told me that when they met there was a lot of outward racism – something I have not really known in my lifetime – and when she told my grandmother that she was going out with him, she got upset. She later explained that it was not because she didn’t approve of him, but because she knew that society would not be kind, and that there would be a lot of hurt and negativity if she decided to continue on with him. She then said about how they were out one night, and that racism came into full view, and she told me how much it hurt and that she finally understand why my grandmother was so protective.

    I imagine there will be a similar reaction when I tell my grandmother about me and my boyfriend. She is very old fashioned, but she is also very loving of all her children and grandchildren – every time I talk to her it’s obvious she wants nothing but the best for me and the rest of us. That’s why I believe everything will be alright. I just need to get myself to the point that I can tell her without choking up or breaking down before it’s over.

    Thank you, so very much, for your message and support. I believe that your messages are very important for this time of year, but you should find a way to keep it alive for all times of year, because we all need that support year-round at one time or another, and I think you could all help a lot more people that way :)

    • Mom Logan says:

      Dear Rich,
      I loved reading your reply, because your description of your grandmother reminded me a bit of my father’s mother. My grandmother was rather bigoted, but she definitely loved all her children and grandchildren, even if she didn’t always like what they did. Your grandmother sounds like a woman who truly loves her family. I know it’s a big step to come out, especially to a family member, but remember that you are loved. You were able to come out to your parents, your aunt and your cousin..you had that strength. You will have it again. You are a wonderful, loving person, and you are loved and cared for by so many!
      Love and hugs, sweetie!

  3. Antonio Neto says:

    Hi there Mama! I’m writing from Brazil. My history is a little more complicated. I was raised at the countryside, where prejudice is “teached” while you are growing. Anyway, nowadays, I live with my family, mother, father and a brother at a bigger city and it is sad because especially this time of the year, I remember that they discovered I’m gay in 2008. Until now, they don’t accept me. So when I found out about this project, I became so excited. I have a boyfriend that I love so very much! And he loves me back the same way! I very happy because we found each other, and I just can’t share it with the people that are suposed to love me and accept me as I am. Anyway, now I can share it with you, and every mom from this project! I know that we may never meet, but as you, I already love each and everyone of you for spreading love, tenderness and hope to people like me.
    Beijos do Brasil, amo muito vocês!

    • Mom Logan says:

      Hello Antonio,
      Bem-vindo! Você é amado e seguro aqui! It’s wonderful you have a partner you love, and who loves you! I and all the other moms and dads are here for you.
      Much love and many hugs!

  4. Kosuke says:

    Thank you for posting such an amazing article!! I couldn’t read it without crying. And now I’m encouraged. Thank you again!!

    • Mom Logan says:

      You are such a wonderful person, Kosuke! Please come back to see us often! Much love to you, sweetheart!

  5. Amir says:

    I have not been celebrating Christmas for long.

    To be honest, I’ve had a crisis of faith. I used to be a practitioner of Islam, but I no longer know what I believe, in part because I was born in a country that persecutes people like me. If you have ever heard of the Cairo 52, you can imagine what it’s like for people who live in the place where I was born. It makes me feel grateful that I now live in a place where I can be open about my sexuality, even if I can never come out to my family.

    Now I am an American, and I am proud and in love with my partner, but I still do not know what I believe in religiously. Sometimes I pray that I be given guidance, but I don’t seem to be getting it. All I can do is keep hope.

    It’s good to hear your story. I like hearing that there are people of all sorts of religions (or lack thereof) that celebrate Christmas, because I believe that at it’s core it is a holiday about loving one another. This is the one day a year we should put aside our differences and really and truly love one another. Or at least, that is what my partner has taught me.

    Thank you for sharing. As always, the words of the Mothers on this site make me feel at peace. I am so glad you have taken your time to do this.

    Love your Holiday Son,
    Amir

    • Mom Logan says:

      Amir,
      I am so glad to hear from you! Yes, I agree with you completely about this holiday being about love…at least that is what we make of it. I understand the crisis of faith. My upbringing was very conservative and very religious, and I remember the bewilderment I felt when I was taught about God’s wrath, God’s condemnation, and the myriad ways to incur it. I did not come to my atheism quickly or easily. It evolved over time as I grew older, met more people, learned more about my universe, and experienced more of the human condition. I rejected the idea of a god that denies love and acceptance to any human being. I think religion is also inseparable from culture, and culture is hard to change. We all find comfort in familiar things. That is why we still visit family, exchange gifts, cook traditional foods and enjoy the decorations and music of this holiday. It is a happy time that religion doesn’t spoil, because we all love each other. I’m glad you are celebrating now, with your loving partner. You can take comfort in knowing that you have family here..even if you haven’t met some of them. I hope that you can find some traditions from your life that you can share with your partner and create your own unique holiday. Creating new traditions are as much fun as observing old ones… I think it’s more fun! We started years ago observing a “Remembrance” ceremony on the solstice where we all read a short passage from any source that helps us remember a loved one who is no longer with us, and we honor the earth from which we all came. It’s moving and bonding for us, and we love it because it is ours. You and your partner are a family, and I consider you part of mine, so my hope for you is that the peace and love of your family gives you guidance and comfort. My love to you!

      • Amir says:

        My partner is Japanese-American so he already has some very interesting family traditions for Christmas. His family hasn’t been here for very long and he has living cousins in Japan. On Christmas last year we ate left over KFC. He told me that in Japan Christmas is a time to go out and connect with friends and that KFC is a popular Christmas meal because Colonel Sanders looks like Santa Claus.

        I want to share with him some of my culture, too, though I’d never really thought about doing so before now. Thank you Mom Logan. I’m going to start thinking about what I can share with him. I won’t be able to be with him on Christmas Day this year, but I know we’ll celebrate it on our own soon.

        Thank you so much.

  6. Mom Logan says:

    It’s hard to be “the only one” in a family. Sometimes it feels like no one will ever understand. I have felt that way at times, too, because I was raised in a very religious, very conservative community, and I always felt that I didn’t belong there. Life changes over time, and your life will change. Trust yourself, love yourself because you deserve love and trust. There will be those who are not always understanding, but there WILL be wonderful people who do! Love and hugs to you!

  7. The Nerd says:

    I am an atheist too, and it’s sometimes difficult to trust that part of myself with others, especially since I’m the only one in my family. Thank you so much for sharing your heart with us.

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