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The holidays can be daunting. And if you’re out in the world struggling with your sexual identity without support from family, the holidays can be disheartening as well. But guess what, you have a whole troop of mothers out here wishing you a blessed holiday season and a fantastic new year.
The main reason I agreed to be a part of this awesome endeavor is because my son came out to me when he was sixteen. I was supportive on the outside. I volunteered during gay pride week in our community. I donated to the LGBT in our community. I provided a safe place for my son and his friends to share what they were going through and offered as much advice as I could, mainly in the area of safety. But on the inside, it took me a minute to embrace the fabulousness of this lifestyle . . . Love!
You see, my father was gay, and in the south in the 1960’s it was even harder to be true to yourself. Instead, he got married and had four kids. He lived a lie, while living that lie he was unhappy, was not very nice to his wife and kids, and eventually left and we never saw him again. That was 30 years ago. 2012 is a lot different than the 1960s.
During this holiday season I want you to know that you are in a way better place. Everyone may not understand what you’re going through. Your parents may not have fully embraced your unique fabulousness yet, but you have a support group and most importantly, you have lots of adoptive mothers routing for your success, love, and bliss.
Wow, it’s hard to believe that four years ago my son, who just turned 20, told me, with fear in his eyes, that he is gay. He said, Mom, I have something to tell you. I’m gay.” I smiled, gave him a hug, kissed him on his soft beautiful cheek and replied with excitement, “Who do you want for me to meet? Is he cute?”
As my Holiday Child, imagine it is me, your Adopted Holiday Mom you proclaim your true awesome self to, and feel the excitement from my response to your proclamation: “Wow! Who is the lucky person that is blessed with the love of my holiday child?”
Don’t allow this time of year to bring you sadness because of your family’s inability to accept your sexual orientation. Don’t be sad because you might be spending this time of year without your true love as you gather with family and friends. Forgive them. Forgive yourself for being mad, or upset about the situation. They only know what they have been taught and may need a little time to accept the true you. It took me a little time. But you know what? It took my son a little time too. We are all in this journey together. Some of us have shorter legs.
This is the time of year for forgiveness, and what is the purpose of life if not to love and the holidays to forgive.
I will think of you each day during this holiday season, and wish for you love, happiness, and the knowledge that someone sincerely cares about you and how you feel. There is no one in the world exactly like you, you are fabulous just the way you are, and you are loved.
Most importantly, you are not alone.
All my love,