Happy Holidays: Mom Grace

Listen To The Audio Recording Of This Message

Warm Greetings to My Adopted Holiday Child,

The cookies have been baked and the fudge is cooling in the pans. The tins are lining the counter awaiting packing with colored tissue and my signature (store bought) sticky bows. Christmas tunes are blasting!

I’ll need your help this year to complete the scene. I know you can’t really be here, but I’d love it if we could IMAGINE that you are… 

I’d like your gentle hands to hang the ornaments on our tree. I want you to set our tables for 22 plus your place on my right, the most important seat near the host (and your partner, if you have one, next to you to make us an even two dozen). I want everyone at dinner to know the warmth of your smiles when we read the silly sayings from the holiday poppers while wearing the tacky paper hats. I want both of you to look around the room at the family and know that in our house all are welcome. This season, as your Holiday Mom, I will champion you, and your preferences will be a natural part of our celebration. We will respect you and your life, and we will honor you by treating you like family.

There is one hitch. Your partner is going to have crazy Uncle Louie sitting on his right. He repeats himself a bit, and there is that little scent of moth balls on his clothes, but he is harmless. You can both share your experiences with him. He gets you. He asked to sit near to you!

I am so happy to be your Holiday Mom. I have a huge regret that I was not all that my own gay son needed in his early years of knowing who he was. If I could turn back time, I would pay better attention and lighten his struggle. Luckily, all has turned out well and he is happy. Being your Holiday Mom is allowing me to have a second chance to get it right. Thank you.

I will imagine you getting here and sharing everything that has happened in the past months. Just know I WILL ask a lot of questions because in knowing how you handle your life inside and outside the LGBTQ community helps me feel closer to you and grow as a mom. I will also ask a lot of questions about other facets of your life because your talents are limitless.

So, let’s imagine together we are ready to get going. These tins won’t pack themselves!  I virtually welcome you with open arms and a big hug.

Shine on,

Your Holiday Mom, Grace


  1. Anna says:

    Your holiday sounds delicious! I can’t wait to join in the fun. I do love cooking, although it’s always more fun with someone else around for conversation and cheer. You are welcome to ask all of the questions you like. I am happy for your son and I’m sure he must be proud to have a mother who was willing to listen, learn, and change. I am well aware that can be quite a struggle. I wish my family had done the same, but they chose instead to cling to their intolerance stronger than ever. They have at least lifted the ban on allowing me to visit or stay with them, but the trust between us is completely broken. I know their opinions will never change and I would not ask them to. However, I wish they could learn to love me the same way they used to love me when I was still their perfect child. I will not be home for Christmas, so I will instead comfort myself imagining that I am with you at your crowded table, near the crazy uncle (I have a crazy uncle too, so it’s okay. I love him!) I will be a joyful part of the party. I’ll be smiling and telling some funny stories about my last two years living overseas in Germany, joking about the odd customs of some of my international friends (and of Americans too!), chattering on about solar physics (my degree), bragging a little about my girlfriend’s amazing talent in hand-crafting jewelry, and then blushing when she gets me back by teasing me about my forgetfulness. That sounds like fun to me. I hope you feel the same. Thank you so much for welcoming me into your home… it means the world to me.

  2. Jackie says:

    Mom Grace,

    I love how your holiday adopted children are teaching you even more about your own child and how to love and understand them. I’m witnessing the same within myself. Going through this particular holiday with a deep awareness of all who gather here connects me even more intimately to my daughter and her new girlfriend. Warms my heart so much to see them be in love with one another. This is a beautiful letter….Uncle Louie sounds like a hoot! Merry Christmas to your family and all the moms and children of all ages in this community. Xo

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