Happy Holidays: Mom Sandy and Dad Bob

First, a letter from Mom Sandy…

Listen To The Audio Recording Of Mom Sandy’s Message

Dear Child of Mine,

Welcome home. It’s so good to have you here, even if only on a web page. I can’t wait to talk to spend time with you. If you’ve had a tough time, know you will not have that in your new adopted holiday home. We have both an adopted daughter and a gay son. So we welcome you with open arms, love, joy and acceptance.

We want you to feel the love you deserve, just because you’re you. We love you just the way you are. (Continued, including an additional message from Dad Bob) 

I’m in the kitchen frying latkes for us all. I’d love for you to imagine being with us. Do you like your potato pancakes thin and crisp or thick and chewy? It’s so wonderful having you with us to help light the candles. When our son was young he loved having cinnamon rolls and bacon for breakfast. So If you like I’ll cook that for you. Older? How about a bagel with lox, onion and tomato? More sophisticated? I’ll make you crepes. After breakfast we can sit on the floor in front of the fire  and play card games together, with the fire roaring in the fireplace and beautiful music on. We can just share in the joy and love of each other. See the lights flickering and surrounding us with their warmth?  It makes our holiday so much more fun and loving having you with us.

I’d love you to feel the warmth and acceptance and fun you deserve. You are loved.

xoxoxomom

And now a word from Dad Bob…

Listen To The Audio Recording Of Dad Bob’s Message

Dear Holiday Child,

Our son is gay.  So what?  It is quite easy for me to feel that way because I love him so much … always have and always will.

We found out he was gay when he was in his early teens.  My wife and I weren’t completely taken by surprise because there had been signs early in his life.  My immediate reaction was, “so what else is new?”  But, in the light of his reality, I became concerned:  Not about my feelings of love and admiration for him, but for how the world would treat him. Humanity is somewhat of an oxymoron — it is capable of great sympathy, heroism and sacrifice and also has the ability to embrace great prejudice, cruelty and violence.  Sadly, even understanding that cannot completely protect you from the unjust pain you may experience solely because of who you are … or are not.  Our son has frequently told us that he had the easiest coming out of anyone he knows!   Even so, he’s had some rough patches but has always rebounded. He has always had our support and love and will continue to have them as long as we live.

I wish for you the same support and love we give our son, especially at the holiday season.  We also wish we had the physical capacity to welcome everyone of you into our lives and to share the solace of a loving and understanding family. I wish you well.  Have courage. Do not despair. Stand tall, and let the world know that you are loved. That you are valuable.  And that you possess dignity.

My warmest wishes to all of you during these Holidays.

Love, Dad

 

8 comments

  1. Gracie says:

    Let me just say that my father doesn’t know I’m gay, and takes every chance he can to put me down and make me feel like I am doing absolutely everything in my life wrong, even though I know for a fact that I’m not. My mom tries to act like I’ll marry a man some day. Both of them hate Christmas, so even though it’s my favorite time of year, I usually have to decorate and such by myself. So having a dad letter in there along with a mom letter absolutely moved me to tears. And I don’t cry.

    Thank you both so, so much. I hope you have a wonderful holiday season. You’re the kind of people that the world needs more of.

  2. Kathy says:

    Mom Sandy, Dad Bob
    Thanks for your offer of love and acceptance. I especially like knowing you could be parents to those of us who are older. I was adopted and also lesbian. Never felt quite accepted in my family. When I came out, my parents said they still loved me, but it was always with a silent disapproval. How nice it would be to have had parents who were openly affirming. My parents are long gone. I sometimes miss them because they were my parents, but I also still long for a positive parent who greets me with open arms and tells me they’re glad I’m here. I would also like to have had parents to accept the love I have to offer. They used to say “don’t get us anything for Christmas because we don’t need anything.” The Christmas scene you describe is heartwarming. It feeds my heart and soul, makes me feel I could be loved and worthy of love. Thank-you. Kathy

    • Mom Sandy says:

      You are loved and accepted just the way you are. I’m sending you a virtual hug to let you know. You sound very special filled with sensitivity and loving. That’s a unique gift. Know that you are cared for and admired.

      xoxomom

  3. Mom Sandy says:

    Dear Jay,
    How perceptive of you. I love British goodies and nibbles. That is so thoughtful of you.
    Know that we will be thinking of you and holding you in our hearts.
    xoxomom

  4. Jay says:

    I’m so glad I came here and saw the pic of you guys. You look as beautiful and warm as your words.

    Was feeling a bit mopey when I got this email, because after work I have to go and shop for gifts and I won’t be buying presents for anyone I’m related to. I think now, though, I’m going to be able to keep my head up and enjoy it. I’ll smile when I find the gift I would bring over (maybe a hamper of traditional British nibbles and goodies – it seems like you might enjoy that).

    Thank you xx

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