Happy Holidays: Mom Chris

My Dear Adopted Holiday Child,

I’m Mom Chris. Thank you for inviting me into your world today.

I remember when I found out my child was a lesbian. Honestly, I wasn’t surprised. I somehow “just knew” and was happy she finally took up the courage to say who she was. I felt such pride and admiration for that strength it took her to come out and live her authentic self.

She was away last holiday season, in Afghanistan. So I had her partner and several other LGBTQ friends over to relax in my home, a space of non-judgment. Guess what? It was the BEST Christmas I’ve had in years! It still brings tears to my eyes remembering it, because there was laughter, singing, food, and drink… and everyone was being true to themselves. I realize now what a blessing that was to experience and witness.

This year, I’d love for you to imagine me here in the kitchen baking all the holiday treats I remember growing up with – only this time, for YOU! I’m going to be so excited for your arrival and for you to feel the unconditional love and acceptance that awaits you.

I am imagining you here, of course enjoying decorating the cookies together ~ after all, it’s a family tradition! Our holiday will be filled with good food like spinach lasagna, fireside chats, and lots of naps and snuggles. I hope you consider this place, this holiday home, your virtual sanctuary.

Wherever you are at this moment, please know that you are so loved, no matter who you love. Please know that I am your Holiday Mom Chris and I am here for you in spirit this holiday season… and always.

Just so you know, I’ll be leaving a candle in the window to light your way to your true home, the home of your future happiness. Look for it in your dreams!

Much love,

Mom Chris

13 comments

  1. Carolyn says:

    Hey Chris,

    I just want to say a huge thank you to you and to all the other Holiday Moms on here for doing this. You make a difference. I’m lucky enough to have parents who love me and accept me, and I’ll be flying home to a great Christmas full of love and hugs and cookies, but I wish I could also take home every gay kid out there who doesn’t have that. Thanks for giving them hope. Warm and happy holiday wishes to everyone!

    Carolyn

  2. Josh says:

    Dear Chris,

    I’m gay. Hmm, I can say it to you, but still haven’t to my mom and I’m 36, been single and lonely all my life. It is so lonely when my siblings are all with their spouses and kids and I’m alone. Even when I’m around all them I can feel alone. I get along fine with my family, but there’s this wall between us and it’s my fault I guess.
    Helping roll out, cut, and frost the cookies is a good Christmas memory as well as decorating the tree. I don’t see how I’ll ever come out since my mom has very rigid Christian beliefs, the variety that thinks gay people should remain celibate or probably pray to be straight. Neither idea is healthy. Any conversation involving religion and she is always right and won’t consider my opinions so I avoid it.
    Anyway, thank you for your beautiful words and love for your family and friends. You’re all doing a great thing! :) I’ll think of you and all the other accepting, loving people.

    Merry Christmas,
    Josh

    • Shamama says:

      Josh, you are not at fault for this wall… is simply not a level of conversation worthy of YOU… YOU are so much more than you know… I just had to say that, right up front. I know it is hard, so very hard, but we moms here are in support of you being JUST WHO YOU ARE. Remember that this year when the ugly words are thrown around… we are whispering… not your fault… not your fault… you are beautiful… you are loved… Hugs, Shamama

  3. Elizabeth says:

    Hi Chris,

    I just found this site and yours was one of the first letters I read. It made me cry, but in a good way. I have an amazing mother, and we have great holidays together . . .as long as I don’t mention being queer (I’ve been out to her since I was 12, and I’m now 28).

    Your letter helped me imagine, for the first time, what it would be like to have a family I could go home to and be totally myself with. You’ve made me and all your readers feel celebrated.

    I know several people who could use a holiday mom, and I’m passing this site on to them. Thanks to you and all the other parents who are extending your love to strangers right now. It means so much.

    Love & Happy Holidays,

    Elizabeth

    • Mom Chris says:

      Hi Elizabeth,
      While writing my letter, I too cried in a “good way”, I’m so happy our hearts connected that way. Know that I continue to hold you in my heart this holiday season and always!
      Hugs,
      “Mom Chris”

  4. Paula says:

    Thanks, it really means a lot to me!! I’m not officially “out” with my parents, I’m 15, but I think they know. I don’t know how to be myself, so it makes me really haooy to hear that someone out there cares about me (all the persons like me) and understand what I’m going trhough. So thanks, mom… you’ll be my holydaymom :)

    • Mom Chris says:

      Dear Paula,
      I am honored to be your “holiday Mom”. You are perfect just the way you are. I’ll be thinking of you and keeping you in my heart!!
      Love,
      “Mom Chris”

  5. Ashley says:

    Dear Chris,

    thank you so much for taking the time to write your message. I think I vary slightly from the rest of the people posting here in that my problem isn’t necessarily all about sexuality. Yes, it’s true, my parents are completely against my bisexuality, but it is less of an issue now that I have a boyfriend as it was when I had a girlfriend. I think the important thing here–and the reason I’m a bawling puddle of emotion over here from all these messages–is just seeing all you parents being good parents, wishing you could be that for not only your own kids but for those you’ve never even met. Even now, with me on better ground with the dating situation with my parents, there’s still that disconnect. Holidays are battlegrounds and the general feeling is that my parents are miserable and hate being together, hate us being there, and hate their entire lives. It’s nice to imagine being somewhere that everyone is actually happy to be. Thank you for taking the time to give me that look into your world, and I’ll be imagining it as my “happy place” this season.

    • Jackie says:

      Ashley,
      It’s true, there are 40 of us moms here who love our children so much. And there are many more people loving you who aren’t these 40 moms. This space has generated a LOT of love and it really warms my heart that you’re truly FEELING it.

      My sense is that all parents have the same pride and deep love for their children. Unfortunately not everyone knows how or feels safe enough to show it. I wonder if they could move past their own fears and unhappiness how much love we might find?

      Bless your heart for being who you are. You are so loved and welcome here. And although we are just 40 moms, we are in fact a whole community who have so much love to give. Xoxo

    • Mom Chris says:

      My Dear Ashley,
      Thank you for your warm comment. My message comes from the depth of my heart. Bless you this holiday season and always…..I am a mom who is always here for you, giving you support whenever you need.
      Much love,
      “Mom Chris”

  6. Marni says:

    Dear Chris,
    I am in an incredibly wonderful place in my life and blessed with a beautiful wife and parents on both sides who love us and accept us for who we are. This makes it easy to forget about the harder times of the past when my family wasn’t as accepting. Your letter touched that little piece of me that still feels and resides in the past and brought tears to my eyes. Bless you for loving and accepting your daughter and friends for who they are … they are truly blessed to have you. Thank you for this beautiful letter. Merry Chistmas to you and yours!
    Marni

    • Mom Chris says:

      Dear Marni,
      I’m so happy you have found beauty and peace with your wife. It is so important for everyone to live their authentic lives, and experience the peace and joy of living in our “truest place”. Sending warm holiday wishes.
      Big hug,
      “Mom Chris”

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