About Our Letters

Welcome to Your Holiday Mom – an online space where supportive moms gather to post a holiday message to all LGBTQ children, teens and adults who are without family support and who would like a “stand-in” holiday family. We know that not every mom is ready to accept her own LGBTQ child exactly as-is (as hard as this is for us moms here to imagine), so we have written to extend our love beyond that of our own family.

Who are these moms? We are everyday friends and family from everyday homes. Many, but not all, have LGBTQ  children of our own. Many, but not all, are straight. Each mom speaks to the holiday/s she observes, from Thanksgiving to New Years Day. In other words, even our writers here represent diversity!

The vast majority of us came together because they heard about the project, yet most have never met me or each other. The common bond we share is that we are so full of love and pride for our own children – LGBTQ and straight – we wanted to extend ourselves beyond our own families and do something more.

We wish you a happy, love-filled Holiday Season!

With Love, Shamama

About The Project

YourHolidayMom.com was created by Robin Rice (a.k.a. Shamama). Robin is the mother of an adult transgender son and she creates a new social change project each year – very much intending to change the world! To learn about other projects, visit RobinRice.com.

This year, our Letter Mama is Yvonne from Pennsylvania! Thank you Yvonne!

646 comments

  1. Ivy-Rose says:

    Hello. I am a 13 years old non-binary, bisexual whom finds girls cute. Ech. I think what you are doing is neat. My family is pretty cool. Thank you.

  2. Sarah says:

    Dear Holiday Moms,

    I transitioned 20 years ago and lost my family. I was at times at the brink of suicide. My partner grabbed me and drove me hundreds of miles to spend Christmas with her family one particularly dark Christmas when my children were taken from me. She told me she didn’t think I would (literally) survive the holidays otherwise, and I suspect she was right. Her family has been nothing short of wonderful, never wavering in their support for her, me, and us together.

    I am so lucky.

    I also know a lot of trans people who have not been as lucky as I. I know the challenges they face, especially at those times of year we are accustomed to being with family. I am not surprised that most of the messages posted here seem to be from trans people.

    That is why I am so grateful you have found room in your hearts to care for those who are like me. I came here thinking that I might participate in this effort as a holiday mom. However, I realize now that it would be too painful. I cannot re-immerse myself in the trauma of my past.

    But please know that I am grateful to all of you for doing for others what my found-family did for me nearly 20 years ago. Believe me that you are saving lives. But of course you already know that.

    • Brigid says:

      Hi Sarah,

      Thank you so much for your kind words!

      We all need the love and support of our fellow human beings, no matter how old we get or how we identify, don’t we? So glad you took the time to write your note, and tell us about the wonderful found-family who rescued you all those years ago.

      Wishing you a very happy holiday season this year!

    • Mom Marni says:

      Dearest Sarah,

      Thank you for writing in and sharing your story. I am so glad that you’e been able to overcome so much pain and that you have found a beautiful chosen family.

      I saw the note that you left for Nataniel and just wanted to add a huge THANK YOU for that as well. Notes like yours are just as important as those from encouraging moms and aunties. Knowing that there are people out there who have been through exactly the same struggles and come out in such a beautiful place 20 years later is vital. I realize that the trauma is still there, as it is for so many of us; never the less you have flourished

      So, thank you… for sharing your story, for having the courage to stick around on this earthly plane and be who you are, and for encouraging those who are immersed in the struggle right this very moment. Sending you so much love!!!

      Mom Marni xoxoxoxo

  3. Connor says:

    Hi, my names Connor. I’m Transgender (FTM) and I don’t have a family. I’m in foster care, my dad left when I was 9 and my mom left me at an airport. I have no one to support me. I saw this website mentioned on Instagram. This is so amazing and I appreciate this a lot. I instantly subscribed. I’m also gay and I have no fear of coming out to people, I’ve done it a million times with good and very bad replies to it. Anyways, being a trans gay orphan is sort of really hard and I think this website is really important. I’ll show everyone!

    • Mom Marni says:

      Welcome, Connor!

      I’m so glad you’ve found us and will be sharing the website. It sounds as if you’ve had a rough go of it for many years, but I can feel your strength and light shining through. It takes courage to authentically be who you are. I am so proud of you!!

      We look forward to sharing the holiday season with you! Big, big hugs!!

      Mom Marni xoxoxoxo

    • Mom Rachel says:

      Connor, you have a “family” here, and I have no doubt you will build your own – very strong one! – over time. You clearly have so much strength and resilience. It sounds so very hard to go through what you have been through with so little support. Please know we are rooting for you every step of the way! With love, hugs, & openness,

    • Mom Mary says:

      Hi, Connor! I am new to this website and read an article about it today in our Chicago newspaper. Connor, you are so brave and strong, and you have such a large community of loving support throughout your journey. You are never alone, and I am so sorry for all of your loss. Please know that you are surrounded by love and acceptance. Please keep us all posted on how you are doing. We are all thinking of you.

      Love, Mom Mary

  4. Jorge says:

    I already sent a message on your tumblr page but I would like to also say it here. I want to thank all of you amazing moms writing this letters because it really helps and makes me feel better. I’m 25 years old and gay. I lost my mother, to a out of nowhere stroke, 3 years ago, she was only 43 at the time. She was only the only one in the family that totally accepted me as a gay guy and never treated me differently. Not having her around it hurts so much and makes me feel lonely, makes me feel like I have no one in this world that cares for me because in my family if is there something that its considered a shame people won’t talk and avoid and it’s what they do to me. It has been 3 rough years, 3 years that made me grow up, and also 3 years that gave me the responsibility to take care of my sister that at the time we lost our mother was only 15. Thank you so much for your words and love you all put in your letters they really mean a lot to me and a shout out and big thanks to mom Marni for answering me back on my tumbler message. You moms are the best!

    • Brigid says:

      Hi Jorge,
      Thanks for writing to us and telling us a bit about yourself. It sure has been a rough few years for you! But it seems you have come through it all a stronger, more responsible person. You are obviously very kind and caring too. Your dear mother would be proud.

      I hope your family learns to deal with family issues instead of just hiding from them. It would be lovely if more of your family members could find it in their hearts to openly support you.

      Until that happens, remember the world is full of people who have no problem with homosexuality. You’ve found a bunch of us right here! We love and accept you just the way you are!

      Please consider us your Holiday Family, and visit us here often. Happy Holidays Jorge!

    • Mom Marni says:

      Dear Jorge,

      I am soooooo glad you decided to come over to the main blog too! You’re going to find so much love flowing all around. Oftentimes our readers will find a particular mom or two with whom they resonate, so feel free to drop a line to them as well. Know that you are not alone. We are all right here surrounding you in love.

      It’s sometimes hard to open up to others when there’s been so much pain in our lives, but I’m here to tell you that there ARE people out there who will become your family in love–maybe not family by blood for now, but family in love.

      Welcome to our holiday table, my sweet holiday son!!

      Mom Marni xoxoxoxo

  5. Sebby (they/them) says:

    I am a genderfluid, pansexual teen that faces extreme honophobia from my family regularly. There’s so much ick in my life that when I sit down to read these letters, more often than not, I start bawling because its so nice to read that I’m loved and wanted and welcomed to somewhere I can call home. Thank you all so much for being a part of that.

    • Brigid says:

      Hey Sebby,
      So glad you feel welcome here, because you 100% are! You are supported and cherished just the way you are. Please feel free to come back here any time you need a boost. We are here for you.

      We’ll never ask you to be something you’re not. There are more than just two types of people in this wonderful world. However you identify is fine with us. You make the world a better place, just by being your true self.

      Wishing you a happy holiday season, full of understanding friendships, good food, and silly fun! 🙂

  6. Kes says:

    I’m 17. My moms not in my life anymore, which is good I suppose. It means my brother and I are safe finally. My sexual orientation, and gender identity only played a small role in how bad home used to be. It may sound strang but even after everything my mom did to me I still love her. It’s been two years since I’ve talked to her, and it’s been two years spent in court. I’ve been diagnosed with depression, and ptsd. Somehow your letters helped ease the hurt, I imagined my mom was sending me letters, and it helped bring back the few good memories. Thank you so much.

    P.s found out about this on Facebook

    • Auntie Hay says:

      Thank you Kes, for sharing with us.
      I wish I could reach through this screen and comfort you some way… I’m so sorry you’ve been hurting.
      I do not find it strange that you still love your mama- I think it shows the immense beauty of your lovely heart. You are a treasure to me.
      All my love,
      Auntie Hay

    • Mom Carin says:

      Hey there Kes…
      Mom Carin here, I am so proud of your strength and willingness to do hard things to have a better, safer life. You are a warrior! Here there is safety and unconditional love.

  7. Sabathiel says:

    Hi, I found out about this site through an instagram post a few days ago and have been working up the courage to actually check it out. I am a transgender teen (ftm) and my name is Sabathiel. I have recently come out to my family, however they have not been able to accept it. My father has since disowned me and has cut off all contact, my mother refuses to call me by my preferred pronouns and constantly refers to me as her daughter. I have read through a few of the letters on this site so far and I can’t even being to describe how happy it made me to read them. I am really glad I will be able to have these letters to read this holiday season and I look forward to coming back to this site to read more. Thank you all for what you are doing and have a happy holidays. -Sabathiel

    • Brigid says:

      Hey Sabathiel,
      Sorry to hear your father is having such a hard time accepting the truth about you, his wonderful young son. I hold out hope that over time he and your mother will get over their fear and confusion and embrace you once again.
      You sound like a thoughtful person with lots of inner strength. I know you will get through this difficult time and grow into the courageous young man you were meant to be.
      Please do visit us here anytime you need to hear some kind words. We love and accept you, and welcome you. Wishing you a happy holiday season full of fun and friends! You deserve to be happy. Hugs!

  8. i don’t know,, says:

    Hello, I’m a transgender (ftm) teenager with nonaccepting parents. I first came out a year and a half ago, and they said they accepted me, but they still called me “she”. so i re-closeted myself thinking it would help, but it didn’t. I’m still so unhappy with my body and i can’t do anything about it until i’m 18. this website is super helpful, thank you to all of the moms & everyone else who are helping lgbt+ youth out.

    • Brigid says:

      Hi Friend,
      It sounds like your family, like many families, is having real trouble accepting the truth about you. It can be hard for families to accept the news that their child is different than they thought. Because they initially accepted your important news, I have high hopes that over time you will all see “eye to eye” and face reality together.
      Until that happens, remember that we at Your Holiday Mom believe you, accept you and love you just as you are. Soon you will become more independent and be able to surround yourself with supportive friends, but for now you have a safe-haven here. Drop by and read the letters anytime you need a boost. Lots of love coming your way! Hugs!

      • Michael says:

        Hi…My name is Michael. I’m 17 years old and i’m gay. Life has been hell since I came out to my family and friends. My mother died recently and she accepted me. My father hates me. Everyday he calls me gay trash and says I deserve to die. At school, I’m beat up and bullied by the jocks. I was diagnosed with severe depression and anxiety. I don’t know if I can do this anymore. I feel so alone and worthless. The holidays make it worse. I just want someone to hold me close and say they love me. That’s all I want….

        • Brigid says:

          Hey Michael,
          I’m so sorry to hear about your mother’s passing, and your father’s lack of kindness and understanding.

          You most certainly are NOT trash, and you do NOT deserve to die! You deserve to be loved and comforted and to be happy.

          Also, you are not really alone. There are millions of people in this wonderful crazy world, who have no problem with gayness, and would love to be your friend.

          Even though we have never met in person, I am with you. I care. I believe in you. You are obviously a very caring person and very strong to have come this far on your difficult journey. Things will get better, I promise. Stay strong.

          It’s no wonder you are experiencing depression and anxiety. Grief will do that to a person. Dealing with the death of someone who obviously loved you very much can be a long and strange roller coaster ride. (I know. I’ve been through it.) You will probably experience many intense emotions, including anger and despair, and periods of feeling numb. It’s all normal and you will get through it.

          Your mother would be very proud of you for knowing yourself so well, for having the courage to be yourself despite the opinions of others, and for reaching out for help when you need it. Carry your mother’s love and acceptance with you like a shield. Don’t let anyone convince you that you don’t matter or that you are trash. You are a very special person and the world is a much better place with you in it.

          If you were here with me I’d be giving you a hug right now!

          As you get older and become more independent, you will be able to surround yourself with loving, accepting, nurturing people who love you just the way you are. They will form a new, supportive family for you. Life will be good. Hold on. It really does get better.

          Until then, feel free to drop by here anytime you need a boost.

          The love is real, Michael. Sending virtual hugs.

        • Auntie Hay says:

          Dear Michael-
          You are beautiful and incredible and we cherish you so deeply here. What you are going through must be incredibly difficult, but I know you can keep going. I’m glad you found us here because now you don’t have to be alone anymore. Brigid is so right- the love here is real.
          If things feel like they are getting to hard, or you are feeling alone, just remember we are here for you. And we really do love you, just as you are. Imagine all of us wrapping you up in the warmest embrace ever…. I am sending you telepathic hugs as I type this.
          Hang in there Michael
          xoxo
          Auntie Hay

  9. Levi says:

    Hey, there.

    My name is Levi and I’m a transgender teen.

    Sadly, I still live at home and deal with discrimination constantly. My mom doesn’t accept me at all, but she accepts my lesbian sister (and her girlfriend). It hurts, but I got used to it I suppose. She constantly refers to me as her daughter and I can’t even explain how uncomfortable or unworthy I feel.

    Just once, for the holidays I want to get with my family and have them call me Levi, use he/him pronouns and treat me like the guy I know I am.

    I found this site on Instagram, one of these LGBTQ+ accounts promoted it and so naturally I had to check it out. I felt better the longer I went through each letter.

    This is an amazing community that’s here. I’m so happy to have found it.

    • Auntie Hay says:

      Hi Levi!
      We are so pleased to have you here 🙂
      This place really is amazing- a place of pure love. We support you as you are and celebrate you and your sweet heart.
      You are worthy, dear one, and deserve all the best life has to offer.
      All my love,
      Auntie Hay

  10. Butterfly says:

    Hi everyone I’m lesbian mom 42 yrs old mother of 3 daughters they are all bi sexual I understand how hard it can be I’m here if anyone wants to talk etc I support everyone

    • Brigid says:

      Hi Butterfly,
      If you’d like to reply to any of the LGBTQ teens, you certainly can. There is a link at the top of the page “How to Help” which gives the guidelines. We welcome your help, and I’m sure you have plenty of insight into the kinds of struggles our teen visitors face.
      Thanks for dropping by. Wishing you a beautiful holiday season!

  11. Laura says:

    Hi! My name’s Laura, she/her pronouns, 19, and I came out a couple of months ago to my family as a lesbian, which they don’t accept. I’m an only child and my parent’s are divorced and when I said I was gay, my mom told me that she knows me better than anyone else, so no, I’m not gay. When I told my dad, he asked to change the subject. I’m out and feel safe as I am with my friends at college, but going home for the holidays to parents who don’t accept me as gay is really hard. My friends at home told me that I was only saying I was gay because I couldn’t be with the boy I like, so I really have no one at home who supports me. I just wanted to thank you for running this website. This is exactly what I needed.

    • Your Holiday Ciocia says:

      Hi Laura,
      I’m sorry to hear your family isn’t supportive. It can be hard to go back to an unsupportive family from college. I’m glad you found us, please come back as much as you need to and I will be thinking of you at my afternoon tea today. Sending lots of love and virtual hugs.

    • Brigid says:

      Hey Laura! Thanks for dropping by and telling us about yourself. I’m sorry to hear that your parents are currently in a state of denial about your sexuality. (Rest assured no one here will ask you to change the subject, or refuse to believe you.)
      I feel sure that your parents will accept reality sooner or later, but in the mean time you are believed, loved and accepted here. Stop by any time for a visit and a boost. We are here for you, Laura. Wishing you a happy holiday season full of fun and friends. Hugs!

  12. Nataniel says:

    Hi..
    I just found this webside maybe it could help me?
    I’m ftm trans my name is Nataniel
    I live in not supportive country and most of people laugh at me or point in a rude manner.
    I have depression almost everyday.
    Parents laugh at me complain about notes and tell me to wear dresses..
    Since I came out my whole live ruined
    I’m crying right now..
    I don’t know if someone will read but i just like writing about my feelings.
    P.s sorry for my bad english

    • Your Holiday Ciocia says:

      Hi Nataniel,

      You are always welcome here, we are glad to have you with us for the holidays. Come back as much as you need to, there will be a new letter each day through new years.

    • Brigid says:

      Hi Nataniel,
      I’m so glad you found us here at Your Holiday Mom. We are here to love and support you just as you are. We will not ask you to wear different clothes. We will not ask you to feel different feelings. You are perfect just as you are.
      I’m sorry the people in your community are rude to you. I need you to know that there are millions of people around the world who would support and accept you. As you get older, you will meet more and more people who like you just the way you are.
      Until then, please consider all of us here at Your Holiday Mom to be your friends. Please visit us here as often as you want, Nataniel! Hugs!

    • Sarah says:

      Dear Nataniel,

      I transitioned the other direction about 20 years ago, feeling that my only other alternative (which was unacceptable) was suicide. I lost my natural family and all of my friends. Like you, I suffered from depression and felt my life was ruined.

      Today I am in a completely different situation. Those days are a distant memory. I don’t think about the pain of my old life anymore. I’ve been “adopted” by my partner’s huge family, and there is plenty of love to go around. And even if it weren’t for them, I count a large number of friends as my “chosen” family. Perhaps you’re in my chosen family too.

      Life will get better for you too. Hold your head high, and be proud of who you are. You are as good as anyone else. Cut loose anybody who can’t give you the love and respect you deserve, and you will soon find yourself in a family that loves you.

      Life does get better.

      Sarah

      PS If you don’t have family this Christmas, FIND family. I volunteered to serve Christmas dinner to the homeless a couple of very dark years, and I think it pulled me through.

  13. Mason says:

    My name is Mason. I came out as trans about two months ago. Many of my friends are accepting and supportive of me, and my teachers use the right name and pronouns.
    The problem is my family. No matter how much I say I am struggling with dysphoria, my guardians think it is still a phase. I just want to be a normal seventeen-year old-boy, not a girl, as I look on the outside. They say I will have to pay for my entire transition myself, which is difficult because I don’t have a job or a way of getting to one because I cannot drive and I live in a small town. I can’t wait until after I am done with school, I have struggled with this my whole life and only recently connected the dots.

    • Brigid says:

      Hi Mason,
      That’s a great name. It makes me think of a person who builds with stone, someone who builds castles or other grand buildings. 🙂
      Anyway, I’m really glad you took the time to drop us a note. You are totally welcome here anytime.
      I’m sorry to hear your family is having trouble accepting reality. I hope for your sake that they will begin to understand your situation better very soon. But right now I want you to know that we are here for you. All of us at Your Holiday Mom believe in you and support you in your quest to become who you really are. It may be a long road until you can fully transition, but you do not need to walk that road alone.
      Wishing you a happy holiday season, full of friends and good cheer. Hugs!

  14. Logan says:

    I’m 22 and newly out as transmale and have had a somewhat hard time over the past 2 years. As supportive as my family is, they never saw the need to actually gender me correctly, especially based on my interest in traditionally girly things. My boyfriends family is another story, other than his siblings, no one knows and I fear for the day when they find out that I’m trans and he’s pansexual. Seeing the letters and all the love has helped me while I’m feeling down about my transistion.

    • Brigid says:

      Hi Logan,
      So happy you dropped by! It’s wonderful to “meet” you here. We accept you 100% as you are, and are here to support you!
      You said your family is supportive which is great to hear, so you know they mean well, even when they screw up your pronouns. With any luck they’ll get it eventually. I hope that’s soon!
      So sorry to hear about your boyfriend’s family. I hope they turn out to be more accepting than you fear.
      In any case, remember that there are millions of people around the world who have no problem with people being trans or pansexual. As time goes on you’ll meet more and more loving, accepting people who will welcome you into their lives. With love and hugs!

  15. KandM says:

    Hi, I’m 24, and my younger sibling is almost 18. We both are non binary, and have a loving, supportive dad. But. Our mom has never been supportive, or loving, and she doesn’t even know about our identities. This holiday season is very stressful for us both, as we have to spend more time than usual with her artificial sweetness. You moms give us love, and hope. Thank you.

    • Brigid says:

      Hi KandM,
      Glad you dropped by to see us at Your Holiday Mom. We are pleased to “meet” you both. I am happy to hear that your Dad is loving and supportive of you both. That’s really wonderful. It’s such a treasure to have a supportive parent, even just one. (As for your Mom, I hope that one day she’ll become more loving and accepting of you both.) But know this: You and your sibling are strong, wonderful, resilient young people. You will get through this holiday stress just fine.
      Look after yourselves. You deserve to be happy. Sending hugs!

  16. Asher says:

    my names Asher, im a queer trans guy and i live in a household where my family purposely is as politically incorrect as possible and the way they talk about lgbtq kids has beyond scared me to the point where i will only be able to medically transition once i move out and cut ties with them. i’ve been stuck in a rather nasty bout of depression and anxiety lately due in part to my identity and how i have very little control over it at the moment. it’s caused me to begin falling behind in school and i’m worried that things will get worse. reading the letters on this site have just broken my heart in the best way possible, especially seeing that my mom passed when i was 5. i love what you’re doing, keep on helping kids and giving us hope 🙂

    • Brigid says:

      Hi Asher,
      I’m so glad you found this website. It’s a pleasure to “meet” you! I’m so sorry to hear about your difficult family situation, but I’m glad you are looking ahead to better days when you will have more control of your life. There are lots of people here at Your Holiday Mom who care about you. We are here to give you a boost when you need it, so drop by anytime. Asher, you are loved and accepted here, just the way you are! You are very brave to have come this far. You’ll make it. I believe in you. Hugs!

  17. Melissa says:

    Hi, i am currently 15 and a freshman in high school. I recently admitted to myself that i was gay. I didn’t really know i was gay until a coupe of months ago. Although, since elementary school, i knew there was something different about me that made me different from all the other girls who were boy crazy. I finally came out and some of my friends left me, but some did stay. I came out to my cousins who i live with, but not my aunt or uncle who potentially has made their point about gay people a couple of times and how they would feel if any of their kids were gay. My aunt says she would be upset but accepting and my uncle just calls people ‘faggot’ for fun. I believe my parents (who have both passed from cancer and heart disease) wouldn’t have a problem with it. They used to be such caring and accepting people. Seeming almost harmless, but the fact that yes i am technically adopted and gay kind of makes me feel like the unwanted outcast even though i have not come out yet. This website did give me hope though. You moms are doing a wonderful thing, just imagine if the rest of the world were like you guys. You guys are a blessing to LGBT youth who have no one to talk to during the holidays. Amazing..

    • Auntie Hay says:

      Hey Melissa-
      You’re what’s amazing! You are loved, and so fiercely wanted here, and we celebrate you just as you are.
      Hang in there sweet one, and don’t ever lose hope- your open and loving heart has the power to change the world.
      Sending you all my happiest thoughts and wishing you a holiday filled with peace and joy.
      xoxo
      Auntie Hay

  18. Megan C says:

    Dear Moms,

    I am a straight, CIS gender person and I have incredible parents. I am so in love with your messages of love. As a former high school special education teacher, I wish I had known about this blog before I stepped out of the classroom. I am in a doc program at a large urban university in upstate NY and I work as a teaching assistant in a few disability studies courses and pre-service teacher education. I have shared this blog so many times since I came across it a couple weeks ago. THANK YOU for all that you are doing.

    • Brigid says:

      Thank you for sharing this blog with the people you contact. Perhaps there are people you still know from your teaching days who could pass it along too. I’m new here myself, but I am so impressed with the outpouring of love and acceptance I see on each and every page. I work in the Canadian school system and I plan to share this website with some colleagues. It’s just too wonderful NOT to share! Best wishes for a happy holiday season!

  19. Violet says:

    I know that as a straight, CIS person this blog isn’t meant for me, but I just wanted to let the moms know how much I appreciate it on a personal level. I don’t have any contact with my parents due to the physical and mental abuse I experienced growing up, and reading these letters has made me cry but also somehow made me feel a little less sad. So thank you, holiday moms. I am going to try to be a good holiday big sister in the comments here. <3

    • Mom Marni says:

      Violet, welcome! I’m so happy you’re here with us. My eyes are still wet from reading Mama Suri’s letter this morning, so I’m with ya on the crying. There’s just so much love for EVERYONE flowing on these pages. I’m sorry that you had a difficult time growing up. I know that your presence as a big sis will be a bright light for many here. Big, big hugs to you, sweet sister! <3

  20. Evalynn K says:

    Hello my name is evalynn I’m a trans women I found this website when one of the Facebook groups I’m in shared it what you guys do is so wonderful and pure the holidays have anyways been a huge deal for me I’ve been through so much in my life my parents weren’t there for me when I was younger I had to raise myself and my younger sister because no one else would but no matter what my whole family would gather for Christmas eve and my family is big and were all Nordic! So Christmas has always held some of my best memories but this year my great grandma bea the matriarch of my family died she was a huge role model for me and she was the glue that held our family together since she died everyone has been fighting and no one wants to get together for Christmas nothing would be the same because her house was sold too I’m 22 years old now but every time I went in that house I always felt like a kid again opening presents and drinking hot chocolate but I’ve decided to volunteer somewhere this year instead my grandma’s biggest creed was to help those in need weather they were your closest family or someone you’ve never met so to honor her memory I want to help people this Christmas and reading your letters and seeing what you do has brought me to tears thank you so much for doing this and giving people like me the courage we need to get through the holidays
    With love
    -evalynn k

    • Mama Tracey says:

      My Dear Evalyn! What a wonderful Soul to take care of your little sister while dealing with every thing else!

      After my parents died 4 years ago we also went through the same issue about getting together. They were the ones who made the feast and we all opened our presents there. The time had to come for that change! Now my kids, their kids, anyone who doesn’t have a place to go come to my house and I became the feast maker!

      Volunteering on Christmas is a wonderful idea! I have been a Red Cross volunteer:; went down to NOLA to help with Hurricane Katrina. I volunteered at the no-kill animal shelter for a long time. Volunteer at all LGBTQ events I am gay too!), and am also an AIDS Peer Counselor (I have been pozitive for over 23 years)>

      I’m 54 years of age and have finally found Zen in my life.
      Go out and find that place to volunteer! Shop around and find the organization that fits YOU!

      Happy Holidays My Sweet Sout!!

      Mama Tracey

      • Mom Marni says:

        Sweet Evalynn,

        I’m so sorry to hear about the loss of your Grandma Bea. Losing my gram was one of the hardest things ever.

        I love that you’re going to volunteer this year. Giving of ourselves not only brings joy to those who receive, but also tends to lift our spirits as well.

        I’m setting a place at the table for You. My wife and I are in a new state this year, far away from family, so we’ll look forward to your company. The smell of coffee cake and freshly brewed coffee will wake you up Christmas morning (if the 4-leggeds don’t wake you first!) We’ll take great joy in watching you unwrap your presents and then leisurely start preparing a big feast as we catch up on what’s been happening with you this year, and hear all about your hopes and dreams for the future. Next we will enjoy Christmas cookies, hot chocolate, and games, and then snuggle with our two dogs and two cats in front of the fire as we watch your favorite holiday movies.

        I love you, my sweet girl!! Mama Becca, Fern, Allie, Vivi and Sweet Pea are sending big, big hugs your way!! xoxoxo

  21. Dane says:

    I’m an adult transgender male, yet I lack the support of my own mother and can’t bring myself to risk telling my dad. The letters here help me imagine that someday, maybe things will work out and be alright. You guys are doing something seriously amazing here. The world needs more love, and seeing it found so abundantly here, it warms my heart.

    • Mom Marni says:

      My Dear Dane,

      I’m so glad you’re here with us for the holidays! I know from experience how hard it is when your parents don’t understand and don’t support you for who you are. There is always hope. My parents eventually came around, but in the meantime I created my own family. And to this day, those who I consider to be my closest family are not related by blood. I love you for who you are and I hope that one day you are able to live fully as You. I just left a comment for Evalynn above your note…we will set another space and wrap some more presents just for you!!! xoxoxo

    • Mama Tracey says:

      Daniel
      Happy Holidays and Big Hugs to you also!! Even tho Thanksgiving has passed, the BIG one is coming up and I wish you Joy and Peace through the Christmas time!

      Mama Tracey

  22. Jay says:

    I really live this site! I’m only thirteen, and only out to a few close friends. I’m afraid my family might not accept me, so I’m waiting a while to come out of the closet as bisexual. I lean more towards girls, which I think would be the problem. My family is pretty homophobic, so I don’t think their reaction to me liking girls would be very positive. This site builds my confidence a lot, by reassuring me that there are people who will accept me for who I am. Thank you so much.

    • Auntie Hay says:

      Hi Jay-
      So glad you are here!
      Thanks for sharing with us, and know I am proud of you! Take however much time you need to let people in on the the beautiful truth of yourself….
      We accept you here with joy and excitement, we have your back, and we love you just as you are
      xoxo
      Auntie Hay

  23. Riley G. says:

    I just wanted to say thank you for what you all do. My name’s Riley, and I’m a 17 year old pansexual transgender boy. My parents are separated; I’m out to my those that I live with and my friends, but that’s it. My family that I live with doesn’t support me at all. They use my proper name, but still refuse to call me “she” and “her” because “It’s hard, and your dad doesn’t even know.” They don’t believe I’m a real boy.
    In January, I will have been out as transgender to them for 2 years, and yet they still except me to suck it up when they treat me like garbage. My own sister refuses to use my proper name at all, or my pronouns. I have grown to resent my family because of the way that they treat me, and I plan and cutting contact when I’m on my own. I also have to deal with being emotionally abused on top of all that by my grandma who I live with and is in complete denial that she is abusive.
    Because of that, I have severe depression, social anxiety, generalized anxiety and panic disorder. I’ve grown to hate myself because I’ve been abused by so many people.
    This website makes me feel like people actually love me, care for me and truly accept me for who I really am. Thank you, sincerely.

    • Jake says:

      Riley, I’m so sorry your family doesn’t use your preferred gender pronoun. Just know that there are so many people out there who will respect you for the amazing human that you are. Big hugs to you.

    • Auntie Hay says:

      Hi Riley-
      It hurts my heart that you are in pain and feeling unsupported.
      Please know that we are here for you, and we truly do love and accept you just as you are.
      You, beautiful boy, are a precious gift to the world, and I’m so glad you are here with us.

      xoxo
      Auntie Hay

  24. Julian says:

    Wow, this site is a gem to find! I really feel like you guys genuinely care for me and other LGBTQ+ youth. Bless all of you for doing this, and for making a very lonely existence just a bit less lonely.

    • Shamama says:

      Welcome Julian! I’m delighted to have you here. We DO care, this is why we are here! LOVE, Shamama

  25. Cheyenne says:

    I’m a bit nervous to post my story, because my situation isn’t very bad at all compared to some others’ on here. But I’m almost 16, I’m a bi-romantic asexual, and I very recently came out. Before I came out though, for several months I had been poking around the topic of what it was, but I never fully came out. I decided to try talking to my grandma first (my parents are divorced and I no longer live with them) before I fully came out. She laughed at it and thought that asexuality wasn’t a thing and that people who identified as asexual just haven’t found the right person. It made me mad but I didn’t dare try to argue about it.

    Then, I decided to actually come out, so I just flat out told her after bringing up the topic of LGBT that I identified as asexual. She laughed at me and said that I’m too young to be deciding my sexuality, and how I haven’t found the right person and even said “How do you know that if you’ve never tried it?”

    Based on her reaction just about my asexuality, I decided to not even come out with being bi-romantic. My family doesn’t seem to believe in me much at all and my sister is an absolute bully (she’s 2 years younger than me). I have social anxiety and my family likes to throw me into social situations that I’m not comfortable with. My grandma once said that I deserved to be put in a mental hospital just because of how I am. I’m glad this website exists, it makes me feel better to read these letters. Thank you.

    • Shamama says:

      Cheyenne, we are so glad you are here. There are so many stories and none is better or worse, it is very personal for each one. We welcome you with open arms, as we would any child of ours! Just come around and we hope you’ll feel exactly at home. BIG love to you, Shamama

    • Evalynn K says:

      Cheyenne I am so sorry to hear this I have gone through much of the same stuff as a trans women so I understand just how much it hurts just know that no matter what anyone else says about you you are completely valid you have a right to be happy never let anyone tell you differant you just be yourself and the people that truly care about you will accept it some of them might take awhile to adjust and some might never even try and it will hurt but there will always be people that love and support you I hope you can make the best of this holiday season and make sure to stay positive and never forget that you are loved

  26. Alex A says:

    I found this on the day my family was having Thanksgiving dinner. I proposed to my lover and was shunned by most of my family. I read half of one and started crying because I felt more accepted then with my real family. I’m so happy you all do this.

    I’m trans ftm and when I told my mom she said it was my friends fault. She refuses to call me he or him and by the name I wish to go by. I will always be grateful this is here

    • Mom Callen says:

      You proposed Alex? Congratulations sweetheart. How wonderful.
      Someone is very lucky to have you.

      With love,
      Mom Callen

      • Alex A says:

        Thank you so much. This mad me so happy I started to cry. I havent had a chance to really get on and look at stuff but i needed this boost today. Im doing a drag show this week and I feel bummed about my family not caring. Just reading this makes me feel like I can do it.

        • Auntie Hay says:

          Wishing you the best of luck for your show this week, Alex! I care, and I hope you can picture your holiday family in the audience cheering you on… we are always with you in spirit.
          All my love,
          Auntie Hay

          • Alex Ackerman says:

            Thank you so much. I am planning on winning tonight to be the next reigning king at this club

          • Auntie Hay says:

            I will be thinking about you tonight, amazing Alex.
            So proud of you for getting out there- no matter what place you get, you are a winner to me!
            (((Hugs)))
            Auntie Hay

    • Mom Gini says:

      Congratulations Alex. I am so proud of you for taking the next step on your happiness road! You are very special and I am so blessed that I got to read about your engagement. Hugs and love to you both.

      Mom Gini

    • Shamama says:

      Sending so much love to you Alex… you are perfect the way you are and there is 100% no-fault in loving and being who you are! LOVE to you, Shamama

      • Alex A says:

        Thank you so much. I am crying from all the love I got. Its so refreshing to be told good things instead of bad

  27. Sky says:

    Hi my name is Sky Leaf. I am a Queer Trans Womxn. This time of year for me is super painful. I have no family, I dunno what my parents look like. I’ve never had a Christmas with my parents ever. I grew up on the streets starting at 10 years old. I never had a childhood, I was forced to grow up and take care of myself if I wanted to live. I’m terrified of people and public spaces. I’ve been beat up just for walking down the street dressed how I feel and trying to be happy. I’ve suffered police brutality and multiple sexual assaults including from a doctor. I’ve been a drug addict and almost died from drug overdose. I am terrified of men for they have traumatized me to the point where if I’m out walking like a few nights ago I’m terrified even when I mistook my own shadow for someone coming up behind me. The best Christmas I ever had was walking down the street in the rain, homeless with my girlfriend and she had a baggie it’s a few scraps of turkey, stuffing and cranberry sauce a friend gave us as we were kicked out of her friends home we were invited to for Christmas supper by my girlfriends friends drunk mom. To this day I think that was best Christmas I ever had. My girlfriend and I were truly thankful. I dunno what I am going to do I usually never leave my bed but just stay in bed cuz I’m afraid of the world and got nowhere to go and no one to be with.

    • Shamama says:

      Hello Sky, even if it is only one good memory, hold on to it. Beauty is there inside you in this memory and you’ll have that no matter what. I’m sending you buckets of love and the brightest of wishes!!! Love, Shamama

    • Brigid says:

      HI Sky,
      It’s wonderful that you found us here at Your Holiday Mom! Thank you for sharing your story. That was very brave.
      Despite all your difficulties over the years, you are clearly a strong person. You appreciate kindness and have a loving heart. You deserve to be happy.
      I hope you find comfort knowing that we care about you! Even though we have never met, I believe in you and care for you. You are loved and accepted just the way you are. Hugs!

  28. Lee says:

    I’m a trans (ftm) guy (16), and I would like to say how much I appreciate this website. My mother has never been the most accepting woman and knowing that people like all of you exist is beautiful. While I know I don’t have a bad life compared to others, it’s difficult for me at home. I suffer from depression and mild brain damage and it’s extremely difficult for me to walk or even stand. Despite all of this, I try to stay happy. I move around a lot to avoid going home because I know my mother will be there just waiting to yell at me for something or lock me in my room again. My friend offered for me to move in with her but I don’t want to put that much on her mom because there’s already a lot of kids there, and I’d need assistance to do a lot of everyday things. So I live at home mostly and try and make the best of it, and finding this website has made me even happier, thank you.

    • Shamama says:

      Lee, I am sending you the biggest hug EVER in the entire universe of hugs! I love that you try to make the best of it, that shows me what spirit you have, but still, I wish it were better for you. Keep reading our letters when you get down. We are here and sending lots and lots of love! xoxox, Shamama

  29. Michelle says:

    Hi,
    I’m 20 years old and, well, I’m here because a friend of mine posted about this website. I wish I had known about it last Christmas.
    My family has known I’m pansexual for years, but insist on saying I’m bisexual because “being pansexual is just too weird/being needy/being greedy, you name it. Last year I wanted to come out as genderqueer, I wasn’t really sure but I didn’t think too much about it, I felt the need to do it. For this I binded my chest, wore a black jacket and black pants, a tie and cut my hair. I thought it would be easy that way. Oh boy was I wrong.
    First thing I know is that my mom is yelling at me.
    “You’re such a beautiful girl, why do you want to look like a boy?!” “You look like a ***** (a pretty offensive way to call lesbians in spanish), wear something else!” “Don’t bind your chest, thank God you have big boobs!” “Next thing I’ll know you’ll be telling me you want to be a man!” “I’ve accepted too much, but NOT. THIS.” I felt awful. I left the room because it was too much, and after a while she said that if I wanted to go like that I had to AT LEAST unbind my chest and put make up on, but it didn’t end there. Once at family dinner, the situation became a joke. She made fun of what I did as if I was a little kid playing pretend.
    Of course I felt humiliated and told her to stop because I was serious when I said that, and left the table. I didn’t get a christmas hug from many family members after it, not even a goodbye.

    This year is also the first year my dad will not be here, and he was the suportive one, so this time I won’t have a shoulder to lean on, or someone to talk to in general. I’ll be forced to spend Christmas surrounded by people who will ditch me if I don’t act or look girly enough.
    I’m trying to stay positive through it all, but it’s too hard. I guess all I want these holidays is a hug.

    • Shamama says:

      Today, dear Michelle, you get that big holiday hug from me, Shamama. It may be virtual, but it is just as real because I read your words, I heard your pain, and I am supportive of YOU being YOU. Just know that we moms are here for you through our letters. LOVE, Shamama

  30. Eon says:

    I don’t know if I have the right to post here, I’ve read some of the other comments and… My life isn’t that messed up. Not messed up at all, in fact. I haven’t been kicked out, I haven’t been door to door. My dad accepts me even though he doesn’t know what he’s accepting nor does he gender me correctly. I came out to the rest of my family on facebook and they al “accept” me but then a few weeks later my aunt deliberately calls me her neice.My mom flipped out and said a bunch of transphobic crap but then says she accepts me many days later, making up words like “daughson” ugh.
    I talked to my therapist about it and even he rolled his eyes.
    Like I said I don’t really have anything to complain about.
    But… Holidays around here are super depressing. My step mother doesn’t even put the tree up until, like, the day before christmas idk. There are no presents under the tree because everyone just wants money or something.
    I just want some boxers and pants that actually fit instead of constantly being asked “don’t you want to try on the girl’s pants” cause… no… there are no pockets… idk
    I’m not even out at work and honestly its ok but it still does a number being misgendered for an entire shift by coworkers and the customers alike.
    Not only that but I’m just super stressed and ready to cry at a moments notice.
    There wasn’t even anyone here for thanksgiving. Just me, one of my brothers, and my dad. And my dog.

    • Eon says:

      Just wanted to clarify that my therapist rolled his eyes at the term “daughson”, not at me being trans or coming out about it

    • Mom Courtney says:

      Dear Eon,
      You are more than welcome to post here! No matter, small or large, is insignificant, when it comes to your personal well being. It sounds like you do have some difficult life situations to face daily. Now that you have found a virtual holiday home here with us, whenever you visit, you will be respected and accepted as the beautiful person that you are. I hope that you visit us again, and visit often to feel our love for you.
      Much Love, Mom Courtney

  31. Alex says:

    Hi, I’m Alex (16) I’ve been living (in and) out of home since I was 14 and a half. My mother hasnt really been supporting around my sexuality.
    I first came out as transgender when I was 9, I was beat (more harshly then normal). After that I climbed back into myself.
    I have PTSD, depression, and social (server) anxiety.
    Most of my life I have been beaten and abused by my mum and men.
    I tried coming back home and successes for a short amount of time, until I tried to come out again.
    I’m trans-masculine, non-binary (demi-sexual/pansexual). My mother wasn’t happy about me coming out again and kept saying I’d be her daughter and nothing would change that. She uses my old name (Alexa) and constantly is harassing me via calls, texts or Facebook.
    This Christmas was going to be the first I’ve had with her and my little sister in 3-4 years. Now I’m unsure of where I’ll be staying for the Christmas period.

    I’m not the only child that she has let down. My big brother has many issues because he wanted to be a female… my mum threatened to disown us both… I really with she had.

    • Laura says:

      Alex, When I read your words, I can hear that you have a good, strong grip on who you are. Hold tight to that, especially when your mom makes it hard for you. Follow your heart and know you’re in the heart of so many.

    • Brigid says:

      Hi Alex,
      I’m so glad you found this website. We are all happy to have you as our Holiday Son!
      I’m so sorry to hear that your Mom and others are unable to accept the reality of your sexuality and gender. Maybe one day they will realize they were wrong to try to force you into fitting into their idea of the world. Maybe one day they will see you for the wonderful, brave, resilient person you are.
      Until then, stick close to any friends who are trying to accept your truth. It may be hard for them, but give them time.
      Remember you are 100% fine just the way you are. You are strong and beautiful inside, and you deserve to be happy.
      If you ever need a boost, drop on by to Your Holiday Mom, and we will be here with kind words and virtual hugs. Sending love to you, because even though we’ve never met, I believe in you and love you!

  32. Burt says:

    I am probably way too old for such a website (I’m 60), but I’m hoping you’re never too old to find family.

    I live in several “between” worlds. My medical records say I’m “severely disabled”. But I’ve been a successful CEO of 5 different companies. I’ve white water rafted. Snow skied on black diamond slopes. I’ve broken national competition swimming records. Taught in universities and Fortune 500 companies. Traveled extensively home and abroad.

    I have a PhD and most folks would call me ‘successful’. Except I’ve never had any sense of family. My biological family has not and does not relate to me in terms of the reality of living with a disability. For many reasons it is not their fault. I get that.

    Still, I exist in several ‘between’ worlds:
    – Disabled, yet not. Able-bodied folks see me as very disabled. Many of my disabled peers see me as “acting/being” too able-bodied.
    – A senior (hard to believe!), yet I feel like I’m in my mid-30’s.
    – Very smart, but that frightens or makes people uncomfortable especially when it is packaged in a “disabled” body.
    – I’m gay, but as a “disabled” gay man, I am not embraced by the gay community.
    – The dominant straight “helping” community tends to reject helping a gay person. So to get help from some groups/individuals I must stay in the closet.
    – I’d call myself a Christian (I’ve even been a Benedictine monk), but I’m no longer drawn to specific religious dogma. I believe “do unto others” is the most important rule to follow.

    Does my life suck? No. But it has been a terribly lonely existence. Sometimes it is just plain hard to bear the intense loneliness; the disconnect from most of humanity.

    • Shamama says:

      Dear Burt, oh yes! you are welcome here! We are so glad to have you, and as a mom, I am so sorry you have not felt the love you want and need and deserve. So come back here and let us love you… there will be so much love here. Whatever worlds you are in, join ours! Love, Shamama

    • Helena says:

      I understand. I had a loving caring family both of my parents are deceased. I have always wanted to adopt a grandparent or parent especially around the holidays they are so very lonley.

    • Auntie Yvonne says:

      Burt your post keeps resonating with me. I am so glad you are here. I see you as a unique bird amongst a room of pigeons. Too wonderful to fit in to a single box. I am sorry for your longing. In a party I am always drawn to the individuals strong enough to know and be themselves. I will imagine you sharing the holidays with me… Appreciating all that makes you genuinely YOU.

  33. Kellen says:

    Hey I’m kellen im 18 ftm and I was wondering if I found the right place for some love my parents disowned me after I came out and my grandmother pretended I don’t exist and my birthday is December 15th

    • Mom Carin says:

      Happy early Birthday go you darling Kellen! Here you will find love and acceptance. I can not explain why your family has reacted the way they have. But I can virtually wrap my arms around you in a big hug and tell you that you are loved for who YOU are!!

  34. Caelan M says:

    Hi, I’m a 19 year old trans guy and this year will be the first year I won’t be at home for Christmas. I came out to my family as trans two months ago (they previously knew that I was a lesbian) and they have been unbelievably unaccepting. I’m constantly being harrassed with articles about how terrible trans people are and questions about my desires to transition. I feel so uncomfortable with the whole situation and wish I never told them. We didn’t get on very well to begin with but I thought they had a right to know and now my mental health is suffering greatly. Thankfully I have a really supportive girlfriend but she lives in Northern Ireland (where I’m from) and I go to university in England. I also have some great friends here but I’m not looking forward to Christmas at all, I just want it to be over.

    • Gigi says:

      Dear Caelan,

      I’m so sorry for how your family is treating you :'(
      Glad to hear your gf is supportive.

      Much love & big hugs to you!

  35. Atlas says:

    Hello,
    I wanted to take a video and show how grateful I am to you precious moms! I changed my mind because I don’t know if its possible.
    So I am 17 and transgender. Only person I have is my mother. My dad and mom has divorced when I was 2 or 4 months old.
    I came out to my mom a month ago she said ” I don’t care”she really meant it.. Then we got into a serious arguement which is about our relationship now only money I have is from the alimony my dad is giving.
    She did nothing she doesn’t respect my problems. She never talked about my mental health. Never in my life
    I have forgiven my dad. He contacted me after 16 years later and I forgave him. He supports me morethan she does. I hope I can achieve my goals and dreams with him. Hopefully with my mother too.

    So this site made me feel sooo happy and loved even though you don’t even know me when I am here reading your letters, watching your videos… Still I am grateful

    So ! Thank you moms for being so openminded and thank you for sharing your life with us. Thank you for accepting us!

    I love you all deeply..

    • Shamama says:

      Oh Atlas, we love you back! If you want to make a video, and can send us a link in the comments, we will for sure watch it! I am so glad you could share some of your story with us here – we do that over the holidays, don’t we? Well, I am sending respect to you over the miles… and of course, love! HUGS, Shamama

  36. Grace says:

    I’ve recently realised that I’m Panromantic Demisexual and I don’t think my parents would approve. They’d probably think it’s a phase because I’m 13. I have a grandmother who is very unkind to LGBT+ Members and I’m going to be staying with her during Christmas. She’s also very religious. I’ve only told my close friends about this. This website is amazing and I’m so happy that this is a thing.

    • LizzyGamma says:

      Love, sparkles, hugs and joy, Grace! Please hold on to knowing that I, Lizzy, a gamma (not grandma), is thinking about you, loving you, sending you strength and seeing you in every shining light I see for the next long bunch of whiles.
      You are loved. I love you. You are perfect and where ever you end up in sexuality and gender land, will be the perfect place for you.
      Sending you a giant burst of love the second you read this! XOXOXO

    • Shamama says:

      Grace, dear, we love you and support who you really are. You tell us who that is, that is who you are to us! So thank you, so glad to have you with us! Love, Shamama

  37. Trustiam says:

    I know the holidays have yet to begin, but I’ve read so many of these letters, and they’ve made me feel so much better. I’m fourteen, a non-binary asexual aromantic, and I have really bad anxiety. My parents know this, and they try their best to understand, but even if they do, being around the rest of my family, especially during the holidays can be so difficult. I’m not looking forward to it this year.
    I love Christmas, so much. It means finding a tree, putting it up in the living room and decorating it – hours of putting up ornaments. I get to put on the star. (My mom and uncle have the star vs angel argument every year, haha). It means hanging up lights, trying to think of something nice to do for my friends. Then Christmas Eve means rewatching The Polar Express with my younger brothers and mom for the 20th time, my brothers arguing over popcorn, the cat trying to sleep on the couch. The tree’s lights are on, and we all have our blankets. We have cookies, and more popcorn and hot chocolate. I love Christmas Eve. Christmas Day, I do as well, but it can be painful sometimes. I have to see my grandparents, my great grandparents, who are always fawning over me or my brothers, my great-grandmother on my dad’s side who insists on calling me “princess” even though it’s always made me uncomfortable, even before I figured myself out years ago.
    Thank you for this site, and I’ll be back when the holidays actually begin. I just wanted you to know how much I love all of these letters, from all the holiday families. Thank you.

    – T.L. (The initials I picked out for myself.)

    • A mom who cares says:

      What beautiful traditions you share with your family! Thank you for sharing them with me. You are an amazing person.

    • LizzyGamma says:

      T.L. my love, Breathe. Take deep slow breaths – count 6 in and hold 4 and out 8. Then when people fawn or call you discomfiting names – you’ll be calm from the breath. Also… I used to imagine I was surrounded by a bubble and nobody’s expectations could pierce my strong Lesbian shield. It worked really well.

  38. Mari says:

    Hello,
    Thank you, thank you, thank you for this site. I’m lucky enough to know many people who support me, but these letters bring me to tears because of their genuine, wholehearted love. I’m sixteen years old, I know I have a lot to look forward to and can’t wait for what life has in store for me. I’ve struggled with gender identity issues for nearly four years now, though, and often I feel lost and don’t know where to turn. So even in July I read these letters and they bring me comfort.
    Thank you.

  39. Danica says:

    My name is Dani and I just recently realized that I am on the Asexual Spectrum. This will be my first Christmas knowing this information and Im stressed out knowing I will have to listen to so many homophobic comments and wont be able to say anything about it. I know that my family wouldn’t accept this about me, except maybe two of my cousins, as my mom has expressed the fact that she doesn’t believe Asexuality is a thing and that anyone who calls themselves Asexual are just asking for attention and haven’t “found the right person yet”. I also greatly worry about my boyfriend, who is Bisexual, because he will probably have to deal with a lot of homophobic and biphobic things during his holiday as well. I am so glad I found this website, you all do a wonderful thing for LGBTQA+ individuals. Thank you so much for what you do, knowing that there are people out there who care about this community is making this holiday a bit more bearable.

    • Michelle says:

      Dear Dani,
      I hope that your holidays went as smoothly as possible. Family gatherings sure can feel loaded! It sounds like you are on a great road to knowing yourself and that you care generously about the people in your life. I hope that knowing there are people here who accept you exactly as you are is a comfort. Lots of love to you.xo

  40. Ethan Daniel says:

    Hello, I am a 15 year old trans boy and reading all of these letters brought me to tears. I had tried coming out to my mum two years ago, which just ended in her saying that it was just a phase, etc etc. My step-father is transphobic and homophobic, I understand that they don’t know or understand that I am part of this community they do not accept but it hurts. These letters make me feel loved and accepted. The holidays tend to be the most difficult for me. I am at home where I am unable to be open about myself and I have to pretend to be someone I am not. I am out everywhere but home, so being home with only my family, for longer than a short weekend, tends to make me even more depressed and guilty of who I am. I have been reading these letters for the past 3 years and it calms me. Thank you to all the holiday moms. You make me feel safe and accepted. Sorry for all my rambling. Happy Holidays, and Thank you all once again.

    • Shamama says:

      Dear Ethan Daniel, thank you so much for coming back for 3 years and accepting our love – YOU are exactly why we offer these letters, so you know that a mom can and will and does love you for just who you are! BIG hugs from Shamama!

    • Eavatar says:

      Ethan,

      I would be lieing if I said I knew the burden you are carrying anymore, but I don’t. But I can say one thing which might make sense to you and to your heart.

      Family is where you feel you are loved. I know some transpeople who has a similar story to yours and they now have real family because they met people who respected and loved them as the amazing persons as they are, Sooner or later you will find your real family. The goup of people who you feel you are loved by and you feel to belong.

      PS: I am sorry about any further grammar errors or my bad ortohography. I am a brazilian and english is my second language.

  41. Kris says:

    Hi there,

    I just wanted you all to know that I think this blog is absolutely amazing and brought me to tears.
    I’m no longer considered a youth as I just turned 30 in June but I’m completely alone for Christmas this year. I had a bad breakup a few months ago from a 2 year relationship with someone I was living with. Her family accepted me as a trans person and Christmas with them was absolutely amazing. I’d never felt so accepted in my life or so happy for it to be Christmas and now it’s back to being alone.

    My mom wasn’t accepting of my being “abnormal” but she loved me with all her heart. She passed away last year after suffering a series of strokes after falling and hitting her head. My father still lives in New York and I’m living in Canada and I can’t see him for the holidays due to lack of funds. He can’t travel up here either as he’s 95 (I was adopted), and he’s not doing so well these days.

    Reading these letters definitely helps me feel that there’s still some hope for humanity and I’m so grateful that today’s youth are growing up with so amazing and accepting parents. Thank you for putting yourselves out there and doing something so sweet for total strangers. <3

  42. Lucy says:

    My beautiful girlfriend just came out to her dad. We thought he would accept her but he doesn’t believe her. I can’t believe he’s reacting like this. She’s so sad and I don’t know how to help her.

    • LizzyGamma says:

      Lucy, I can’t imagine all the changes that have happened over the last year in your life and relationships. Change happens, that’s for sure.

      From my experience, parents come around. Eventually they grow up, get that their kids ARE and realize that love is what it’s all about. Mine did. I spent a couple of broken hearted years before my dad came around.

      I hope your lovely girlfriend weathered to storm that was happening. My love and respect to her for what she’s been through.

      Really? We can’t do a thing about others’ reactions to stuff. We can only breathe our own reactions down and think through a way to respond.

      All my love, LizzyGamma

  43. Caroline says:

    Hi, I’m 18, on the asexual spectrum, and have been coming to the realization that I’m a lesbian as well.

    I come from a pretty religious family and the only person in it I’ve come out to is my older sister, partly because she and I are both not religious. She and a few close friends know and accept me as I am. I don’t think I’ll ever be able to come out to my parents or extended family. Whenever there is an LGBT individual on TV/in the news/etc. my parents express their disgust and I can’t bring myself to imagine that same disgust directed towards me.

    It hurts to think that I’m probably going to hide this part of me for the rest of my life, or that if my family really knew that they would most likely cut off all ties to me, in the best case scenario.

    I just discovered this site and reading these letters almost made me break down and cry. Thank you for your messages of acceptance and love. I only wish that more people felt the same way.

    • Shamama says:

      Sending big hugs to you Caroline… the rest of your life is a very long time, and while it seems impossible things can change, they very often do! I will hold out hope that you can be who you are in greater and greater ways over time. Love, Shamama

    • Megan says:

      You are accepted in all of our eyes here, and you are valid no matter what negativity comes into your life. You are wonderful, and you are worth it. You make this world a better place by being the beautiful person that you are.

  44. Gabby says:

    Hi. I just joined this website and I never felt this much love especially from my own family. Im 17 years old and I’m bi. I told my mom this and she says that she accepts me for who I am, but I feel otherwise. I feel no ounce of acceptance from her. She wants to take me to a psychologist. Seeking relief I went to my dad and told him as well. He started to blame himself and when I got a girlfriend he said that I was wrong. The only support I have is my older brother. All I want is my parents to accept me and I’m afraid I’ll never get it

    • Antonia says:

      An arrow can only be shot by pulling it back. When life is dragging you back with difficulties it means you are about to be launched into something great. You are needed by so many. Keep shining your light-

    • Connie says:

      As a mom I can attest to the fact that none of us are perfect parents. We strive to do what’s best for our children and many of us greatly miss the mark. I’m so sorry that you don’t feel acceptance from you parents but I’m so happy that you have an amazing older brother to lean on. The holidays are such a hard time for everyone but feeling alone and unaccepted at the holidays is unbearable. I want to tell you how incredibly brave I think you are. You jumped such a big hurdle at such a young age, you came out of the closet to your family! Do you know how many adults can’t manage to do that? And even when you didn’t get the response you wanted you opened up to someone else. How very brave, and strong of you. As a mother I’m proud of the young woman you are, your strength, your courage. You are welcome in my heart always and I’ll be thinking of you often. Many holiday blessings to you sweet girl! Chin up, it does get better

    • Gabby says:

      Update: mom still doesn’t accept me but I just gotten into a new relationship with a girl in my school and I’ve been happier since

      • LizzyGamma says:

        Hey Gabby, It’s been almost a year and I know things have moved along – somehow. It took my dad a few years to accept me and I thought he never would. Boy, was it a surprise when he called me. I guess in some families love wins.

        Since you are family, my wife and I want you to know you are in our thoughts as we head to Thanksgiving tomorrow. I’m grateful you found this site and grateful you are out there being you.

        Keeping you in our hearts, Barb & me

        • Gabby says:

          Hi.. it’s been almost a year since my last update and my life’s haven’t been the brightest. I lost my girlfriend because she thought I was cheating on her because I’m bisexual. I’ve been bullied and harassed beyond words. This website is a stream of hope. Thank you

  45. Chelsey says:

    I have only found this website today but I have to say I am so thankful for what you are doing! I am a 16 year old bisexual female with very religious parents that I know for a fact are very homophobic. (They noticed me being happy about the US gay marriage law and it didn’t go down well.) Because of this fact I have steered clear of coming out and have decided to only do so once I have moved out. So it is nice to feel all this support. I look forward to these emails.

    • Sarah says:

      Hi Chelsey, I understand how you feel, my grandparents are the same way towards my uncle. But remember that for those who don’t support you there are hundreds that do! No matter what, you are never alone.
      Happy Holidays,
      Sarah

    • Rebecca J says:

      Hi Chelsey, I too am bi and female (a bit older than you, though!). It gets better. Hang in there. I understand about not coming out yet – you do it when you’re ready and feel safe. You are a beautiful soul and you deserve to be surrounded by love and support. Love is love is love is love is love, and I love you. <3

  46. Leah says:

    I’m not part of the LGBTQ community nor am I a mom but I think this is absolutely amazing and it warms my heart. This is the kind of love that should be shared abundantly during the holidays (well…and always…but especially during the holidays). So happy to have found out this exists!

    • Auntie Marni says:

      We’re so glad you’ve found us, Leah! Please do share away, and feel free to spread some love by replying to comments here on the blog.
      Happy Holidays!!
      Marni

  47. Jay Harper says:

    Hi! My name is Jay! 🙂
    I’d heard about this project before, but never really looked into it until my own mother made some… Belittling comments about LGBT+ people (thankfully my dad is supportive, although he doesn’t know about my identity. One of my sisters is also very supportive, so it’s mostly my mother which is the problem). I’m agender panromantic, currently dating a transgender boy (who has a much worse family than me – perhaps I’ll let him know about this project, seeing as he needs it more than I). I’m also autistic, which is the biggest source of my own worries, what with my mother being somewhat of an advocate for trying to make me as “normal” as possible. It’s fairly late, what with a little more than a week until Christmas (as that’s what I celebrate), but I’m glad to have found this site and read through the amazing letters on it.
    Happy holidays!
    -Jay

    • Auntie Marni says:

      Dearest Jay,
      It’s never too late to have found us! Welcome! I hope you will share the site with your boyfriend too. We ALL can use a little extra love around the holidays, and the letters are always here to come back to anytime anyone needs some words of love and encouragement throughout the year. In regards to your mom’s attempt to make you “normal”…. well, I think “normal” is overrated. 🙂 Please continue to shine your funky, unique light in whatever way feels most authentic to you. You are loved!! Merry Christmas!!
      Love and hugs,
      Auntie Marni

  48. Mira says:

    Hi, my name is Mira, I’m 25 years old and I’m a lesbian.
    I have come out to almost everyone except my family. They’re all very stern in their beliefs towards LGBT, and my girlfriend wants to come for Christmas. The problem is because I haven’t told my family, I would have to lie to them about the woman I am absoulutely head over heels for. I can’t bring myself to introduce her as a friend though, it hurts to think about having to and I don’t want to have to lie about it. But if I tell them the truth, there is so much that could go wrong.

    I’m not sure if this is the right place to send this or not, but I was hoping I could get some advice.

    • Tracy says:

      Dearest Mira. I was in your shoes when I was that age, and it’s difficult. I brought my “friend/roommate” for visits with me, and we slept in separate rooms, in order to keep the peace and let my parents maintain their pretense that they didn’t know we were lovers. One thing that made the situation a little easier, for me, was that my girlfriend was in a similar spot. Her parents knew but did not want to acknowledge what we were to each other.

      I suspect it’s harder if your girlfriend is more ‘out’ to her family than you are. If that’s the case, maybe you can talk to her about baby steps and about where you are on this journey toward being open with your parents. Even if she is farther down that path, maybe it could help remind her to support you where you are right now. It doesn’t mean you love her any less; it just means that for that day or two, you will be slightly more reserved toward her and ask her to respect that (and respect your feelings for your family) by doing the same.

      When Jane and I met and fell in love, I had her come with me for family visits as I had with previous girlfriends. My parents were cool to her, which was hard as hers had been very welcoming. By the time Christmas rolled around, I decided that I was going to bring a couple of small presents for her and slip them under the tree. I did not sign my parents’ names to them or anything, just addressed them to her, so she would have something to open and be more a part of the celebration on Christmas morning. They warmed up to her after the first year or so and became fond of her. But it still took until the 3rd Christmas before my parents asked what she might like for a present and started doing it themselves. While they still didn’t llke that I was gay, they did come to love her as a person and to respect what we were to one another. Progress can be very slow at times. Just because something isn’t moving as fast as we’d like, or as fast as someone else thinks it should, doesn’t mean that it isn’t moving!

      However you decide to handle the situation will be all right. No one has the right to judge you for how you choose to handle your relationship with your family. Only you can say if/when it’s time to be more open with them. Okay? In the meantime, enjoy having the people you love around you. Have a frank talk with your girl and see what each of you is comfortable with, in regard to the holiday visit to your family. I think you’ll be able to find a plan that will work for both of you.

      Hopefully all my rambling has made sense and helped at least a little. Remember that you are loved!!

  49. Pede says:

    Hi, I go by my last name (Pede) because I am still struggling to find a gender neutral name that feels right. I came out to my parents last year as agender and pansexual and my dad refused to talk to me and my mom said that she would never be able to lose her little “girl” and would never be able to call me by any preferred name that I chose. I was really not looking forward to the holiday season it meant being misgendered and dead named. I’m really glad to find your letters because it’s comforting to know that someone accepts me, even if they don’t directly know me. Thank you for being so thoughtful during such a busy holiday season and caring. I love you for sharing so much love with people who really need it this holiday season. Thank you for being amazing<3

    • Jade says:

      Hi, Pede. I am so sorry you are going through this rough time, but I am also touched by your strength in standing up for yourself. I’m sure you will find your real name when the time is right, but until then Pede is a nice name. I wish you all the best, not just for the holidays but always. Please know that you are beautiful and you deserve all the love in the world.

    • cheshirejenn says:

      Hi Pede, No matter what always remember you are not alone and you are valuable and loved just as you are by me, by my sister, her wife, our brother, his wife, our nephews and a slew of other family members. There are dozens of people celebrating Christmas this year with you in mind. May peace and love follow you and yours in the new year.

    • Kristina says:

      Dear Pede,

      I love your new name. But if you aren’t comfortable with it I can’t wait to hear the name that represents you. I want you to know how loved and accepted you are in this world. And it’s not just at Christmas. It’s all the time all year round. As long as you are kind to others Santa loves you and so do I. And when you forget to be kind or when you make mistakes that’s ok too. You are so valued and loved in this world. Don’t ever forget that you are strong and amazing. The wish I have for you this year my love is that you never forget it.

  50. Chelsea says:

    Hello,I am 26 years old.Last week I finally came out to my family that I am Pansexual and that I am inlove with a Transgender boy (FtM).One of my sister’s accepted me right away with loving arms,The other one acted weird and doesn’t talk to me all that much.My mother didn’t speak to me for a few day’s but now she is talking to me but she tell’s me she doesn’t like,approve or will support my life style.My dad doesn’t like it at all and he hasn’t talked to me since.I am heartbroken because my dad and I were so close and now when he hears i am on the phone he no longer says hello or tells me he loves me.It hurts worse because the holidays are coming up.I am so much happier in my life but every day I am also hurting.

    • Auntie Marni says:

      Dear Chelsea,

      First of all, I am so excited for you and your new love relationship! Congratulations!

      On the other hand, I feel and know your heartbreak regarding your family. It’s so hard! I was 25 when I realized that my preference was for women. Needless to say, my very traditional, very Christian family did not respond favorably at all. I was devastated, but I knew that I had to be true to myself. Twenty-three years have passed and though the first few years following my coming out were rocky, things have a way of working out for the good when we make that conscious decision to be who we are.

      I love you AND your boyfriend. My wife and I will save a special place for you both and welcome you with open arms to our virtual holiday table and home this season. Sending warm hugs and so much love your way!! xoxoxo

      Auntie Marni

  51. Jeanette says:

    I am Jeanette and I am about 14 years old, and even if I am young I have known just about my whole life that I liked other girls even if I didn’t know the term and stuff. I am just to scared to come out to my parents and family, but when I came out to some of my friends they all left me and won’t talk to me anymore. So when starting the new school year i’m hiding again and I have made some new friends but I am too scared to tell them only two of my old friends really know. When i’m reading this I feel like I am at home and you are replacing all the bad people and friends in the world and being better than they ever could. Thank you, and sorry for writing this out and stuff and bothering you sorry again, ok bye.

    • Rebecca says:

      Hi Jeanette,

      I am so glad that you had the courage to tell us about your struggles! I am sorry to hear that your friends IRL are having a hard time accepting you, but please know that you are loved and respected and accepted elsewhere. You could never be a bother to us, and as a mom, I am so glad you are here!

      I am Polish by heritage, and traditionally we leave an empty seat at our table at Christmas dinner in honor of loved ones who cannot be with us. This year, I will leave a seat for you at my table.

      I wish you all of the best, for 2017 and for always. You are beautiful and deserve all the love in the world.

      xoxoxo

      Rebecca

    • Kristina says:

      Jeanette,

      You are never bothering people with your feelings. Especially in a community that accepts you. There is so much love in the world for you. :). And your bravery makes me proud of you. I’m so glad you are here on this planet. I love you even from a distance. And I’m not the only one in the world that does, or that you will meet in your long life to come. I hope you have a wonderful Holiday. Remember that spark of joy and Christmas is everywhere if you just look for it, and the best place to look is inside you. I can see it in your bravery and love, and desire for those beautiful things in life. You are so loved my dear.

  52. Josette says:

    Hello everyone. I’m bisexual and this fact and other sources of pressure drove me to depression. I was diagnosed with psychosis last month and everything is so weird between my parents and me. I haven’t told them yet, and maybe I never will. I wish everyone else to feel happy no matter what your parents think.

    • Rebecca says:

      Hi Josette,

      I am empathetic to your struggles with mental illness! I suffer from anxiety myself, and some days can be very difficult. Please remember that depression lies, and that you are a beautiful and vibrant person who is giving and deserving of love! I know that telling your parents about your truest self is scary, but you are a smart person, and I’m sure you will know when the time is right. We will be here to support you when that time comes, no matter what. I hope you have happiness in the coming holidays and in the days and weeks following!

      Much love,
      Rebecca

  53. Jamie says:

    I’m Jamie and I’m a 15-year-old transboy. I came out to my mother about being attracted to girls last year, and my father this year, and although neither of them treat me any differently, they both expressed their disapproval during the conversation – my father, who I’ve always looked up to, told me that people would pity me for being this way, and society would never really approve of people like me. Since I realised I was queer when I was 12, I have become very comfortable with my sexual orientation, but hearing these words from my parents made me lose hope of coming out to them about being trans as well – particularly as my gender identity is still something I’m quite unsure about as of late. I know I’m much luckier than other queer kids in that I still have a roof over my head and my parents’ support in all things but this, but I can’t help wishing they would accept me and understand that society doesn’t hate people like me as much as they might think. Happy holidays <3

    • Rachel says:

      Dear Jamie,
      Thank you for writing & sharing your thoughts with us. I’m so proud of you for coming out to your parents – that must have taken a lot of strength! Good for you for staying true to yourself, and being honest with your parents as well. I’m glad they are supportive in the practical sense and can still treat you the same way, but know that you deserve true emotional support too, not just about your sexual orientation, but also your gender identity. Here, you have support for your current self, your exploration, and wherever you find yourself at the end of your uncertainties. We accept you no matter what – this is one part of a much bigger slice of “society” that really, truly loves you! Continue to take care of yourself this holiday season.
      Love,
      Rachel

  54. Bailee R says:

    Hello everyone, I’m 17 and I’m a lesbian. I was fortunate enough to have a father that accepts me but my mother didn’t so I no longer see her. It’s hard going without a mother but I have other family. At school all of my friends talk about their boyfriends all the time so it can be difficult at times and also I’m in love with a straight girl. The LGBTQ community has always been like family to me, love you guys, stay awesome 🙂 <3

    • Shamama says:

      Bailee, I’m sorry about your mom but cheering for you dad! Loving a straight girl is hard, I know, when you just want love in return. I don’t have any quick fixes but keep loving – someone will find YOU and be so glad! Hugs, Shamama

    • Vanessa says:

      Dear Bailey,
      I am so sorry about your relationship with your mother. As a mom, I cannot fathom her reasoning, but I suspect her feelings are without reason. Sadly that doesn’t change the fact that they are her feelings. I really hope with time, she will understand that this is not a phase or your choice. That you cannot change who you are as a lesbian anymore than she can as a straight woman. It’s a part of you, and a beautiful part at that.
      I am very glad your father is supportive. I know it can’t be easy to raise a teenage daughter alone of any orientation, but he seems to have it right.
      Loving anyone is hard, but even more so when that love may be unrequited. Sadly, your love interest cannot change who she is either. I’m glad you feel loving her is worth it still, as love is never wrong, but please take care of your heart as it is very precious. Please keep your heart open to others who may need your love in return.

      I know we shouldn’t give advice, but this is life advice in general,
      Always live with an open heart. You’ve already chosen to walk down that path by excepting who you are despite others not doing the same. Make sure to love yourself first. Sometimes loving yourself can be the hardest relationship you will ever have. It takes constant work with every hurt, every rejection by others, but loving yourself opens the doors for the right people in your life to love you as well and will help protect you from the wrong ones.
      Have a safe and joyous holiday season, dear one. Please don’t focus on the things you cannot change, but embrace the ones who celebrate life with you.

  55. Nem says:

    My name is Nem and I am a bisexual androgynous person. Some days I dress female, other days male. My family no longer speak to me because of life choices I have made and it makes me sad, especially this time of year. I just want to be able to spend time normally with family and fit in. I’m so glad I found this site. Thank you so much 🙂

    • Jillian says:

      Hey Nem,

      I just want you to know how very brave I think you are. Holding on to your own truth – even with a supportive family is so very hard. I can’t imagine how hard it must be when your family is not speaking to you.

      I am sending you all the love and warmth from me and my family to you. I really hope you know that you are loved. It is my hope and prayer that they may realize what a special and unique soul you are – and that they will get the gift of being able to witness that. Because you really are. Happy holidays Nem.
      Love,
      Jillian

  56. Caden says:

    My name is Caden, and I’m an asexual afab nonbinary 19 year-old. I’ve been out for about a year, but over this past thanksgiving break, my mom kicked me out of the house. It was for several different reasons, but mostly because of my mental illness and because I’m trans. Luckily I go to college where I have an amazing support system, but winter break starts in a few days and I’ll be staying here on campus alone while all of my friends and my girlfriend go back to their homes for a month. It’s going to be really cold and quiet and lonely, and it hurts knowing that I won’t be able to see my cats and my twin brother for Christmas (he has autism, and doesn’t understand why our mom kicked me out). I’ve tried to be open to the possibility of my mom learning from her mistakes, but she’s been emotionally abusive my entire life and doesn’t think that she’s ever done anything wrong. She’s hurt me in so many ways and won’t listen why I try to explain how I feel, so in a way I think this distance is good, even though it’s a horrible feeling to be rejected and thrown away by your own parent. Anyways, any support right now would be extremely appreciated – this site is so wonderful and I hope all of these moms know how much they are having an impact on the world. Much love

    • Vanessa says:

      Caden, I’m so very sorry your heart is hurting. Some people honestly do not see that they are wrong. We hear about narcissism, but it’s usually a joke. It’s actually a terrible mental issue and usually involves not accepting one is at fault and gaslighting others, which can really harm the mental state of those around them. I had a similar situation with my mother and she’s only recently understood her condition (I’m almost 40). It’s not an excuse, but at least for me, it was helpful to understand why she was the way she was.

      I think that you choosing love over what others think you are “supposed” to be or do, is very brave. I have watched my son struggle with being homosexual, and that’s with having the complete love of his family and many wonderful friends, I can’t imagine the pain of having the person who is supposed to protect you from unreasoning hate, be the source of it.
      You have a strong and beautiful soul. I am so thankful that there are wonderful people like you who will uplift and inspire others in adversity. Always choose love.
      You are not alone, you are loved.

  57. mikey says:

    hello ! im a teenage queer transgender boy who has very republican/christian parents and family. i just need a little support right now, you know. any advice to help me cope with the holiday season?

    • Shamama says:

      Dear Mikey, I am so sorry you have to cope with your family. You are a light for all of us and to have you dim yourself hurts my heart, but I do understand sometimes we have to be wise. While I can’t offer advice in your situation, because each person is so different, I can say this – hold truth of your beauty in your heart and KNOW one day you will be seen it. It may seem a long way off, being where you are, but I have countless stories of those who found their way and I know you can, too. I’m thinking about you this season, Mikey, I really am. Love, Shamama

    • Rachel says:

      Hi Mikey,

      Remember that no matter what you face with your parents & your family, there are people – like me – who will love you no matter what, holiday season & beyond. Knowing who you are is so important. Holiday seasons can be stressful, but they are just that – seasons – they come and go, and my wish for you is that hold on to your own truth and your own sense of self through all the seasons of your life to come. May there be many, mostly joyous, and filled with the warmth you deserve.
      Love, Rachel

  58. MD says:

    Hey, guys! My name’s Moe, I’m a bisexual woman, 22 years old, and I love this project. I found this last year, right when I’d been fully realizing how lonely I felt surrounded by a family who, for the most part, doesn’t really get my sexuality. I have a large family, and some of them are incredibly accepting and loving and will talk about it with me. However, the ones that I still live with, including my parents, are not as accepting. They ignore talking about it entirely, insist on calling my girlfriends ‘friends’ whereas they properly call boyfriends ‘boyfriends’, tend to make casually homophobic “jokes” around me, and have really just isolated me. This isn’t the only factor dividing us: my family is rather dysfunctional at the best of times, and while I tend to be very liberal-minded (not like the party, just like the adjective, I’m not making a political statement here), the people I live with tend to be much more conservative. Everything about me tends to be something they don’t like, and I dread the day that my Catholic father finds out I don’t believe in God and haven’t since tenth grade.

    Anyways, my point is that while I am certainly lucky in the fact that I have a home and have it better than some, psychologically, it’s very difficult to live daily life with these people, who superficially give me support in some areas but never really care about anything deeper than they have to to appear to be a good family. This tends to get worse around the holidays, when they’re all gathered together and their casual conversations tend to turn towards political or social issues, LGBT+ issues being a prominent one, and I have to listen and pretend that I don’t care when really it’s overwhelming to hear them talk about me like that, as if I’m not there. They don’t seem to realize that it hurts me, and it affects me.

    These letters have been really important to me in keeping my holidays bright. So thank you, so much, for doing this.

    • Shamama says:

      We are so glad to have you here with us MD! It is so very hard, and I am sad that you are not totally accepted – I for one will gladly call your girlfriend “girlfriend!” Stay with us through the holidays, we will be here for you! SO MUCH LOVE, Shamama!

  59. L.G. says:

    I’m 14 and a lesbian, and I have it better than most in that I have a family that I know would accept me, but I’ve still struggled and I want to thank you so much for creating this program. The world needs more people like you.

    • Shamama says:

      Hello L.G.! I am soooo glad you joined us! The world needs more people like YOU too! There are many of us. Sending love from here, Shamama

  60. Evie says:

    Hi. My name’s Evie and I’m gay. My dad and his family are extremely homophobic. I’m not sure how my mum would react but I don’t think it would be good. So I hide myself. When I read your letters, it makes me want to cry at how loving and accepting you are. This website is amazing. I sometimes wish I could change myself. I hope that I change my mind and get a boyfriend. I know it won’t happen but I’d rather it be like that. Being myself is too hard.

    • Rachel says:

      Hi Evie,

      Thank you for sharing your truth in your letter. Please know that you are loved here, without needing to change a thing about you. With us, you don’t need to hide, and you should know that being yourself is all I could ever ask for. It’s hard, but I think you’re doing great. Keep up the good, hard work, of being honest with yourself and never forget how important you are, just as you are!
      Love, Rachel

  61. Emily says:

    hello, my name is emily. I’m 16 years old and i’m lesbian. i have a hard time with my christian parents about this, when i came out my mum laughed and it got to the point where i told her i was being emotional and didn’t mean it when really i did. i’m agnostic and obviously i can’t tell my parents this, just a as i can’t tell them about my sexuality. i have a hard time when my mum and friends pose the question “when are you going to get a boyfriend emily??” and often get embarrassed and angry when they point out guys to me. i know they are just trying to have fun and get close to me but if anything it’s making me not like being around them. i worry for the future and whether i could have my parents in my life then. i found out about this website via instagram and the idea here is. eautiful and so so supportive.

    • Rachel says:

      Hi Emily,

      So good to hear from you. Know that you are loved here. No matter what you believe spiritually, no matter your sexuality, you are welcome here, just as you are. Sending you hugs, without laughing at who you are and your deepest confidences, but only embracing you, you truths, and your willingness to be honest with yourself. You are so strong, and so valuable!

  62. Gabe says:

    Hi, I’m a 16 year old bisexual boy. I live overseas in a very Christian setting, I am a deist and don’t believe God still exists.I have 3 siblings and only one of my sisters knows about my queerness and she is super accepting and supportive. My parents know I’m bi but I have to hide all feelings I have towards boys and they kind of brush it under the rug. The company psychiatrist in the company my parents work for said that while I’m overseas and still in a house that’s paid for by a very homophobic company I should try to avoid relationships with boys and only come out if completely necessary.
    Working overseas my extended family plays little to no role in my life and no one in my extended family knows. Since I have no extended family, family friends replace them. Of the friends I have told, most of them are okay with it as long I don’t bring my gayness around them. I find myself having to oppress most of my feelings around a lot of people because the times I haven’t things ended horribly.

    • Shamama says:

      Dearest Gabe, you have us here now. You can bring your gayness here and you will be most welcome! We love your gayness! Sooo much! Your bisexual self is fine with the God of my understanding, anyway. xoxox to you! Love, Shamama

  63. Ashtyn G. says:

    Hi, my name is Ashtyn. And I wanted to say thank you. I’m happy I found this site. I came out as agender, and my sister is super supportive and I love her for that and other things but my parents make fun of me. And my mom hates my girlfriend who’s a total sweetheart. And I feel so sad thinking about that. But finding this website it made me feel so much better. Happy holidays and thank you again.

    • Shamama says:

      Oh Ashtyn, I am so sad you are made fun of by anyone, let alone your parents. I’m so glad you have us here and I’ll send love to you and your sweetheart girlfriend! Hugs, Shamama

  64. Juliet D. says:

    I’m a 14 year old Pansexual. Who struggles with my gender.i am not out to my family at all because i know how they all are. My family does not at all support LGBTQ+. Just really glad i found this sight..

    • Lisa says:

      Hi Juliet,
      Well, we are SO HAPPY that you are here!!! Know that here you can find a bunch of mamas, friends, and family that truly love you JUST AS YOU ARE.

      Sending you a TON of love and a HUGE HUG right now, can you feel it?

      Love
      Mama Lisa

  65. Claire says:

    I have no idea if you guys are still posting kind comments but if you are I really need some right now. I’m Claire, and I’m a 14 year old biromantic asexual, and my mom keeps telling me I’m too young to know, and that my sexuality isn’t valid. I keep trying to convince her it is, but she won’t believe me. The rest of my extended family is extremely homophobic, and I’m scared if I come out to them they may never speak to me again. Any advice?

    • Jessica says:

      Hi, Claire! I’m Jess, and I’m fifteen years old and also biromantic asexual. It’s really nice to meet someone else like me 🙂

      I’ve talked to my own mom about being ace, and unfortunately found the same thing has happened with my mom as what’s happened with yours. Telling me that I’m too young, that I haven’t found the right person yet, that I just feel this way now but that I’ll change as I grow older. I’ve heard it all. And just like you, I’ve tried convincing her over and over again, but she doesn’t believe me. I understand what you’re feeling. I really do.

      Your mom has no say in the validity of your sexuality. It’s you and only you who knows what’s going on in your mind, and your mom, no matter how hard she fights it, can’t do anything about that. Yeah, it really sucks right now, having her not believe this about you, but keep being yourself.

      About the homophobic family, that’s another thing I can really relate to. The only advice I can give you is what a close friend of mine told me: it’s your choice whether or not you come out. Only yours. If you aren’t 100% comfortable with coming out to your family, you don’t have to. Instead, surround yourself with loving and caring friends who will accept you and love you and support you no matter what.

      I hope this helped, and if you have any questions at all, I’m always here to help 🙂

      • Caryle says:

        Hello Claire ! My name is Caryle . I am a mom to 3 awesome people . My son is 22 and straight . My 19 year old daughter is lesbian . My 18 year old daughter is asexual panromantic . My kids attended church with me their entire lives . Several years ago my lesbian daughter started coming up with excuses to avoid church . Finally when she was about 16 she told me she didn’t feel safe at church . Wow! This scared me. We stopped going to church . She finally told my she was gay . I hate to admit it, but at first , I wondered if she really could know for sure . But after talking to her , I realized the huge struggle she had been going through . Her own self discovery was something that she didn’t take lightly and I knew that she knew exactly who she was. We talked about everything she thought about and that brought my other daughter to her own realization that she is asexual . She has never and will never feel sexually attracted to anyone . She knows she loves to cuddle . Always has. She knows she will fall in love with a person’s heart . I know being young can be difficult . We expect adults to do the right thing . Sometimes we adults speak without thinking about the hurt our words will cause our children . I hope your mom comes around. I think she will. Remember that your journey is yours and the things you share with people is entirely up to you . No one needs to know your sexuality if you don’t want them to know . Please be assured that you absolutely perfect just the way you are! I hope you can take comfort in knowing that there are many of us who encourage , accept and love you. Right where you are . Sorry this is so long. Just wanted you to have an idea of who I was. Sending you hugs and love ! ❤

    • Lisa says:

      Hi Claire,
      I am so glad you found us, and know that in our little corner of the web we are sending you HEAPS of love and 100% acceptance for exactly who you are. I have no advice, other than you will know when the time is right to come out or not. Please also know that I am personally sending you tons of love and hugs to you right now.. here’s A GIANT HUG, can you feel it? <3

  66. Olivia says:

    Hi holiday moms, I’m Olivia! I’m 15 and bisexual, I’m extremely afraid to tell my parents, due to my father not agreeing with the lgbtq community. My mother has always told me everything was a phase. I was depressed and suicidal when I was 12-14 she told me it was just a phase every teenager goes through. I’m worried she’d say this is a phase as well! I’m scared that when I come out they’ll tell me it’s a phase or kick me out…I’m lost and don’t know what to do..I want to tell them before Christmas, but I’m sincerely terrified. Any advice? I could use some…

    • Shamama says:

      Dear Olivia, I can surely understand your being afraid and I am so sorry you have not been seen and heard for who you really are. I would not dare give advice through the internet, as life is far too complex for that, but I will say this: Whatever you decide, if it does not go as you wish, you have a bunch of moms here that love you and understand. It may not seem like enough at times like these – I know! But we are here on these pages and hopefully you’ll find that a deeper support than it might seem on the surface. Sending SO much love to you as you make such an important decision. Hugs, Shamama

      • Lisa says:

        Hi Cindy,
        I am a mama of a 17 year old bisexual teen and she knew when she was about your age as well. Do know that here at Your Holiday Mom you have a TON of mamas that love you just as you are, and you can come here anytime to get your love tank filled up!

        HUGS!
        Mama Lisa xo

  67. Noah brauch says:

    Hi Moms.
    I came across a link to your page on Facebook. I think what you’re doing in incredible. I am a 38 trans male from Connecticut and a parent of twin girls. I run a clothing drive for trans youth here, and we’re sending them stockings this Christmas as well. It fills my heart to do this for them.
    However, I feel alone. I have family locally. My parents who claim they love me and support me but don’t. I see them often unfortunately and they’ve made no effort to use my legal chosen name, or male pronouns. I had an article written in the local paper about my drive, and my moms worried that everyone will see it and know about her life. Well, it’s my life. My dad lives at the house with her, but is non existant. Then my gram who is 84 knows but never says anything and my sister calls me a freak. I’ve always envisioned holidays to be family members coming from all over to one house, getting a tree together, sharing memories and laughs, cooking dinner, kids playing, funny stories. I crave that and I’ll never have it. It hurts my heart so much. If it wasn’t for my two beautiful girls, I’d feel even more alone. They love me. They accept me. They’re ten and use the right name and I never had to ask them. I want to have a wife and a family who loves me. Maybe one day right? I’m contemplating staying home this Christmas since thanksgiving was a disaster.

    • Marni W says:

      Dear Noah,

      What you are doing in your community is such a wonderful thing. I believe that no matter how bad off we might have it, as long as we’re giving of ourselves to others, it helps us to not get lost in our own sorrows.The fact that you understand what these youth are going through, makes it all the more poignant. Kudos to you!!

      I am so sorry that your bio family does not love and support you for who you are. I think that sometimes when we become so focused on trying to garner acceptance from those who are “supposed” to love us, we may miss those opportunities to connect with our non-blood family members. I’m so glad that you have your girls and that they truly see you for who you are. That is such a beautiful thing.

      No matter what you decide to do for Christmas, I hope that you are your girls have the most amazing time together, loving and appreciating each other for who you are, and creating beautiful memories and new traditions that will last a lifetime.

      Big hugs and so much love to you, Noah!

      Mom Marni

  68. Bree says:

    Lately I’ve been thinking about how my parents really feel about the LGBTQ+ community, because while they accepted my sister as bisexual, they also believe that a transgender person doesn’t count unless they’ve had the full transition. It worries me because I’m pansexual and they don’t know, so if they only partly accept transgender people, does that mean they won’t accept my sexuality as real? I don’t know what to do about it… I don’t want to tell them before Christmas and ruin the holiday if they don’t accept it, but I also don’t want to wait until I’m older.

    • Kat says:

      Hi Bree. I can’t offer advice but I know that whatever you decide, if your family doesn’t love you for who you are then they don’t deserve you. I hope that you have a beautiful christmas no matter what.
      Love your holiday friend x

  69. Erica says:

    Holiday Moms,
    Myself and my little brother have been ostracized from our home on Christmas due to my grandmother and father. My mother fully understands and loves us, but the other two feel that we’re black spots on society since we’ve both come out as gay/bi. A friend of mine recently shared this with me, and I just wanted you guys to know just how much you’ve touched our hearts. This is more than just a few letters… With every one I read, I truly feel warm and welcome into your homes. I can’t tell you how long we’ve both been sitting here reading and just crying to each other. Thank you so much for doing this. We’re both subscribed now, and are very eager to hear what else we’ll be getting into this holiday season. 🙂 I’ll be sharing this with all my friends as well. You’re doing a beautiful thing here…

    • Shamama says:

      Dearest Erica – oh, how much your family will be missing by not having you there. The smallness of it hurts my heart for you, but we ARE here, and this is exactly why. You should never feel alone. I lost my little brother to suicide and his challenges with his sexuality, so be sure to hug that little brother tight for me, because you can. Having each other, and us, we’re family now. So very glad you found us! Hugs, Shamama

    • Mom says:

      Dear Erica,

      Nothing makes the heart hurt like longing for family on the holiday, I know this. You DO have a brother who is sharing your journey and it is important that the two of you stick together. Families can have many different definitions. A family can be just two people who love and support one another. The best one is the one you choose for yourself. Choose your brother, choose the friends who love you. There are LOTS of people in the world and they don’t need to share your DNA to be family.

      Much love to you dear. It will be ok, I promise.

      Mom Trish

  70. Caspar says:

    Hi moms! i shared this website on twitter to all my friends and they all love it! you’ve pulled a few tears out of us, i must admit, but these letters are so sweet and they’ve gotten me through the last few years of holidays. so many of my friends and community don’t have supportive parents and these letters help us all feel so much more loved. there are good people out there that are willing to love us and that’s such a good thing to know. i love reading these. it’s hard, sometimes, but little things like these make it less hard. Thank you.

    • Shamama says:

      Hello Caspar, thank you for sharing us with others – more love and more to love is always good. I’m so glad the letters have touched you… BIG hugs from here… Shamama

  71. Emma says:

    Hi!
    My name is Emma and i am gay and i am proud! I lost my mom almost a year ago and my dad 11 years ago. since then my family has treated me so differently and it is very hard to get through the holidays. I have lost many friends and some of my family members don’t ever talk to me on family gatherings. This year will be tough as some of my siblings are split apart from my family, but I know i can get through it. I hope those who are reading this do to!

    • Shamama says:

      I am so sorry for your loss Emma, but so glad you have found us! Each letter will be a conversation to you – can’t wait for you to get all the love coming.. our first letter for this year starts today! Hugs, Shamama

  72. Marjie says:

    Happy Holiday weekend Prince ! So glad you found us and can spread the news. Here is wishing you and ALL your friends a lovely peaceful Holiday surrounded by Love . Sending it now ! Love you all take care Be happy and safe Marjie

  73. Prince Dan says:

    Hi, I’m a panaexual and genderfluid boy. My family had never supported me and always tells me I’m just another fake or want to be, because I was out or showed any signs at a young age. This is an absolutly beautiful project. I have so many trans and non-binary friends who aren’t supported at home and some that have been kicked out. It hard for them. Harder for than it is for me. I adore that you guys take the time out of your day to write a kid like them. Thank you so much for this. I’m so happy to see things like this. It really makes me realize that the world CAN be beautiful and accepting. Blessed be.

    • Lisa says:

      Hi Prince!
      We are so happy you found us, and yes, there are so many people who just need some love and acceptance in the world, and we have tons to give here from all of us mamas! And you know what? We adore you too!
      Hugs!
      Mama Lisa xo

  74. Aherin says:

    Uh, hi!
    I’m Aherin, I’m 17 and afab nonbinary. I came out to both my parents a while ago about being trans, but binary male trans, because I thought that’s what I was. I don’t live with my dad anymore because he refuses to accept it, but I don’t know how my mom will take it if I tell her I’m actually nonbinary instead of just male.

    On top of that I have to spend thanksgiving (which has always been overly stressful anyways just because I have PTSD and they’re all touchy feely at the holidays) with my dad and his side of the family, who are all hyper religious. I want to tell them too but I’m afraid I’m just going to make them mad and I won’t be able to escape their anger because I can’t leave until my dad does (he’s driving) and it would then be a two hour car drive with him being mad at me…

    The only saving grace for thanksgiving is that we’re bringing my dog Ringo (that my dad kept when I moved out bc my mom lives in an apartment) and I’ll get to hang out with him.

    Eeek I’m terribly sorry this got so long ;-; but thank you for being here for people like me.

    Much thanks and love,
    Aherin

    • Deenie says:

      Dear Aherin,

      I’m sorry to hear this is such a stressful time for you. You have a lot to deal with. I would like to know that there are so many us out here that support you and accept you exactly how you are. I am glad you’ll get to spend some time with Ringo, give him lots of belly rubs and ear scratches. I hope things become a little easier for you soon.

    • Kerry says:

      Dear Aherin,

      It sounds like you’ve already gone through a lot with your dad over this. While I don’t wish you any further heartache, there may be more in store. If that is the case, I’m sending you love and strength and wholeness so that you can be your truest self and so that you can have the patience and understanding your family lacks.

      And if (this is the if I’m hoping for!), if your family surprises you with support, love, and genuine acceptance then I will be cheering for you every step of the way 🙂

      And, no matter what, Ringo will be there.

      Take care, my love, and may you find yourself with lots to be thankful for.

      ❤ Mama K

  75. Carin says:

    Link! So glad you found us!

    What a great thing to know that your family is accepting of someone from the LGBTQ community! While it is difficult for a cisgender person to fully understand the struggles of a non binary or gender fluid person, and while we may mess up time to time with gender references, knowing you are loved. For the person you are. Not based upon your birth gender but on YOU as a human, that is beautiful and can be cherished. I wish you peace and joy wherever life leads you.

    Mom Carin

  76. Link Walters says:

    my name is Link. im 14. im a transmale, probably bisexual. my family is accepting of lgbtq+, but im still terrified to come out, because i don’t want to hear “oh, we’re losing our little girl.” and “say goodbye to Alice, and hello to [Link].” [my name is still subject to change as of recent] i don’t want to be a burden on my family, no matter how many times they say they’ll accept me. i know they suspect me of liking girls, and probably more recently, being transgender. i think i’ve know this since about the middle of 2015, maybe just around a year. the most supportive person in my life right now is my girlfriend, we’re long distance. im so thankful to have her help me, but i just want my family’s acceptance without the whole “we’re losing you” because they’re not. they still have me and they always have, they’re just getting a happier, more real and honest version of me.

    • Tammy says:

      Link,

      Hon, you’re not a burden. You’re a beloved child. If you do decide to come out to your family, and they do feel the need to grieve the loss of Alice while celebrating Link, that’s not burdensome or unfair to them. I have two little girls. They’re still small but they’re not babies anymore, and sometimes that makes me feel sad. Being a parent is a constant readjustment, a constant grieving of the people your children will never be again, and a celebration of who they’re becoming. So your parents have practice. And you’re not responsible for their feelings! You’re only responsible for acting in the best and most ethical way you can.

      Whatever that looks like, we’re here for you.

      Hugs,

      Tammy

    • Two Spirit's Mother says:

      You express your wish so well, Link. I remember my son saying I was not losing him and that was a great comfort to me. I was concerned about the hormones changing his wonderful personality (they have NOT!) and he assured me about that too. You are wonderful!!

  77. Kelli says:

    Hi MJ,
    Glad to hear you have a sister who is on your side. Its always OK to come out to whoever you feel safe with, when you are ready. Its always your mind and feelings, always your body, and there is nothing wrong with being asexual or bi-romantic!
    We are planning on doing a big batch of blackeyed peas and kale (and corn bread!) for good luck for the New Year, you are more than welcome to pull up a chair, and a bowl! No judgement here, Just wanting to understand what you want to share.
    Peace and happiness to you for the new year, and hoping for you to find friends and allies in person. Be well,
    Kelli, a tomboy mom, with a husband and a 2 yr old son.

  78. Egbe Kaba says:

    I’m 14 and am bisexual and gender fluid. I come from a super religious family and have grown up in a church practically my whole life. When I found this page I started crying because for once i felt like it wasn’t just me fighting alone…I have friends who are bi and lesbian and gay but their parents are accepting unlike mine. So thank you for just being a person who understands and cares.

    • Matalin says:

      Egbe Kaba,

      I’m so sorry to hear that your family is super religious. I assume you’re worried that they won’t accept you? I’m sorry about that, but I want you to know that us moms always will.

      Believe me, when I found it I cried too. I’ve actually cried a few times since. I’m a mom, I worry about all of you. You’re not fighting alone, we’re all here for you. I’m sorry your parents aren’t supportive, but you aren’t alone. I’m glad you feel understood and cared for here, because you are.

      Love Always, Mom Matti

  79. Kyle says:

    Hi um, I found this just today, and I wanted to say thank you so much to all the moms on here. I am a Transgender male named Kyle and this year I came out to everyone in my family but my grandparents. Only my mom accepted me so far but she doesn’t help me get the things that’ll help me (binders etc..) and I just needed some kind words and this helped a lot. I’m fully out in public as Kyle. Including being called Kyle at school. I am also Polysexual. I just really wanted to say thank you and that it means a lot that something like this was made. ~Kyle

    • Matalin says:

      Kyle,

      I’m glad that you’ve found this website! I’m very proud of you for coming out, but it hurts my heart to hear that some of your family members haven’t accepted you yet. Hopefully your mom will start helping you get the things you need soon, but if not there are many websites that ship all over. I’m glad this website’s helped you and I’m ecstatic about the news that you’re fully out as Kyle! That’s absolutely fantastic!

      I hope you have a wonderful holiday!

      Love Always, Mom Matti

  80. Hali says:

    hi! I’m currently 13 rn, and in year 7. I started questioning myself around 3 months ago, and on November 24th I finally admitted I was bisexual. while I was questioning, I told 3 of my friends about it. all of them were supportive of it, so I was rlly happy. my mom isn’t homophobic, but she straight up told me, she doesn’t want her child “to turn out like that”. she told me as long as someone “like that” isn’t near me, then I don’t care. but when I heard that I was thinking “….what if I’m really bi?” (cause I was still questioning at that time) when my friends friend came out as pan, (she came out over text and my mom receives all my texts) my mom said that it was disgusting, and a week later explained to me “your friend is kidding, she just wants attention, cause lgbtq is popular right now” I was really hurt by that, and LITERALLY a few days after, (btw I came out to 2 more of my friends and I accepted I was bi by then) I was talking about the girl I like, and my friend, the FIRST friend I told that I was questioning commented “yea I don’t really support this, but I won’t talk against it” I was kinda surprised, I mean this friend seemed so knowledgable and did try to help me. after she said that 2 of my other friends started questioning her and about why. she said “cause the bible said it is wrong”. i am an atheist, I don’t believe anything the bible says. one of my friends is atheist as well. the one that is Christian also says “I honestly don’t believe someone could feel that way, and all anyone in the lgbtq community is trying to do is gain attention.” I WAS SO HURT. my friends know my as a person who doesn’t show much emotion, so I didn’t show any. I was upset if course, but I just brushed it off in the group chat. but in another private message I dmed one of my close friends that was in the chat, telling her the truth about how I feel. the next day, I confronted my Christian friend and she told me, she just doesn’t want me to get hurt. but I’m not. I feel so comfortable and feel like weight was lifted off my shoulders when I admitted I was bi. what I’m afraid of is that if I get into a relationship with a girl, will she stop talking to me? insult me? insult my gf? I don’t know if I could handle that. but it’s not my friend that I’m most worried about, it’s my mom (maybe my dad too). she has stated time and time again that she thinks lgbtq people are disgusting and are just faking it. I’m scared. if I come out to her, what would she do? I know she won’t be accepting, but what’s the worst thing she would do? the worst thing i can think of is letting me live in the same house still, but she shunning me….

    I know this comment was scrambled up with my thoughts all over the place but… I needed to tell someone, and yes, at school I’m secretly seeing a social worker ( or whatever you call it idk) but this is the first time I even met her so I’m not all that comfortable venting to her.

    thanks for all the people who are helping and showing love, xx

    hali

    • Matalin says:

      Hali,

      You’re so young! Now, don’t take this as a bad thing, I’m very proud that you’ve realized your sexuality at such a young age! I’m glad your friends (at least, most of them) seem to be supportive, but I’m sorry your mother doesn’t seem to be. Hopefully she’ll come around.

      I would like to tell you something very important, alright? I’m Christian and I go to Church every week, but I want you to know that I think being in love with someone of the same gender is as fine as can be. I respect that you’re n Atheist (and I’m proud of you for figuring out what you believe in as well)! I just want you to know that not every Christian thinks that loving someone of the same gender is a bad thing. Love is love and I believe that nothing can or will ever stop it.

      I’m so happy that you feel comfortable in your own skin, Hali! I don’t know what your mother might do if you come out to her, but no matter what please keep yourself safe. I think it’s sweet that your message is a little scrambled because -if you’re like me- it means that you’re getting everything out that you need to say. I’m the same way about needing to talk to people when I’m upset or worried.

      I hope you have a wonderful holiday and a very happy new year!

      Love Always, Mom Matti

  81. Paola says:

    Hi 🙂 My name is Paola and i am 17 years old. I figured out i am bisexual in september, when i fell for the first time for a girl. It was all fun and games ’til we both fell in love with each other. But everything is just so complicated couse the people we are sorrounded with are so homophobic and so judgmental and its sooo hard for us to be together. My family is also homophobic and i can’t come out of closet. I’ve come out only to my cousin and 3 friends of mine and they are okey with that. But the fact that this judgmental people arent letting me and my crush to have a relationship together, is tearing us both apart. She is my first lesbian love and its just too much for me to end up with a broken heart. I need to see a therapist but i don’t know if I should. Today my best friend showed me this site and it made my day reading your letters. Thanks for all your support.

    • Matalin says:

      Paola,

      I’m so glad that you’ve figured this out about yourself! I won’t lie, things can be difficult, but happiness is worth the trouble. I’m sorry everything is so difficult for you, but I’m glad that you’ve been able to come out to some of your friends and family. Persist, alright? If you love this girl, don’t let judgemental people tear you apart. Love can be difficult, but it can make you so happy. I’m glad you’ve enjoyed our letters!

      Love Always, Mom Matti

  82. Spencer Rose says:

    Hi! My name is Spencer and I’m a bisexual girl. I came out to my family just over a month ago and they claimed to be accepting, but recently, with holidays coming up, they tell me to hide my sexuality from my extended family. They seem ashamed of me. Also, they have begun to use hurtful slurs towards me.
    I just discovered this website and absolutely love it! Thank you so so much for all the work you do.

    Sincerely,
    Spencer

    • Matalin says:

      Spencer,

      Hi Spencer! I’m glad to hear that you’ve come out to your family, but not so glad to hear that they’ve been treating you badly. You should never have to hide who you are for anyone. There is nothing to be ashamed of. I’m glad you like the website and I hope you come visit now and again to tell us how you’re doing!

      Love Always, Mom Matti

  83. Alaina says:

    Uh, hi! I guess I should just sort of get into this. My name is Alaina, and I’m a pansexual. I sort of was wondering for a little while, because I knew I didn’t like only guys, but bisexual didn’t feel quite right. However, pansexual seems to fit me. I don’t really see people by their gender or what gender they identify as, I just love them. Unfortunately, despite me wanting to be able to proudly tell my parents, I have a very very religious and strict family. No one in my entire family as far as I know is supportive of it. I did tell my dad, but I was immediately shot down and he ranted off about how it’s wrong and all that. So, I found you guys today, and I’m so happy I did! This is a great place, and you all do wonderful work. Thanks.
    With all the thanks I can give,
    Alaina

    • Matalin says:

      Alaina,

      I’m so glad that you’ve figured out your sexuality! I’m the same way and I’m in the process of trying to figure out if I’m bi or pan. Recently, my cousin came out as gay and it was widely accepted, so our home lives seem to be a bit different. Nevertheless, you would b surprised how supportive those who love you can be, despite their religious stance. I’m not saying you have to come out, but I would think it through thoroughly. If it’s unsafe, please don’t do anything that would put you in harms way.

      I’m sorry your dad didn’t take it well and I hope he sees the error of his ways. I’m glad you found us and I’m glad you enjoy the blog. I hope you have a wonderful holiday!

      Love Always, Mom Matti

  84. MJ says:

    Hi, My name is MJ, and I am 15. I’m a bi-romantic asexual. My parents love me a lot, and they have told me they support LGBTQA+, but my sister made a joke about coming out of the closet and my mother said, “Good thing that you’re kidding, because if you weren’t, we might have a problem.” I was shocked. I love my family to bits, but it seems like they don’t get me as a person. When I came out to my sister, she thought I was joking about my asexuality, and when I told her I wasn’t ready to come out to my mom and dad, she told me that they would love and accept me no matter what, but I don’t know that I believe that. This is my first holiday season that I identify as queer, so I feel a little lonely and lost as my heavily anti-gay relatives come to town. This blog always makes my day, and I just wanted to tell you that you are my saving grace this Christmas. Thank you so much <3

    • Matalin says:

      MJ,

      I’m sorry to hear that your parents make jokes about your sexuality. My grandparents often do the same, so I know how badly it stings. I don’t know how much faith you have in your sister, but she sounds a lot like mine. She may say that your should come out, but I want you to be comfortable with it before doing so. You are welcome here anytime. We have many many moms who would love to hear from you! I’m glad this blog makes your day better and I hope you visit us to tell us about your holiday!

      Love Always, Mom Matti

  85. Brendon says:

    Hi, I’m Brendon, a 12 year old agender, pan romantic, asexual child. My family doesn’t accept any part of me even though I haven’t come out to then at all. Imy glad to have found this website because I often find myself feeling alone on the holidays and just dreading waking up in the mornings. My family iso homophobic, transphobic, and they’ve been concluding that I’m trans and are treating me badly for it and I’m glad I found a website of people who are so accepting

    • Matalin says:

      Brendon,

      First of, I love your name! I don’t know if you listen to Panic! At The Disco, but it’s one of my favorite bands and one of the members is named Brendon.

      I’m so proud of you, Brendon. At 12, I barely knew what I liked to read, let alone everything you know. That amazes me, how much things have changed. It saddens me to hear that you’re not accepted by your family and I’m glad you’ve found this website because I hate to see anyone feel alone (especially during the Holidays). I’m so sorry that your family hasn’t treated you well, but I hope that this website brings you some sort of comfort.

      You are not alone, I want you to always remember that. There are people who understand you and who are like you. I wish someone had told me that when I was coming to terms with my sexuality and everything, so now I’m telling you. You are special and no matter what, you are worth so much. Remember that for me, alright?

      Love Always, Mom Matti

  86. Sam says:

    Hi.
    I’m Samantha. A 14 year old bisexual girl. I found out when I was about twelve years old, in seventh grade. It came pretty clear to me that I was bisexual because I had a crush on my best friend, Autumn. I didn’t know what to do. I was practically panicking. My dad was homophobic and my mom wasn’t against it but she wasn’t really for it either. The rest of my family was really religious, so I didn’t even go there. Later that year, I dated my best friend Kalan, also a girl, but when we broke up. I got really down. And somebody I thought I could trust, knew about my sexuality. Only like four people knew at the time. And she told the entire school, making tons of my friends talk behind my back or stop being my friend. I still have not come out to my family but most of my friends know and I’m happily dating my girlfriend Stacia. Things are okay besides my uncle recently dying on Monday. I think I’m bisexual but I want to come out but I don’t know how honestly. I think what I truly wanted to say was that things like this website is so thoughtful for people just like me. So thank you. <3

    • Matalin says:

      Sam,

      Your story sounds very similar to mine and I want to tell you from experience, even if things get hard, stay true to yourself. It’s difficult to realize your sexuality at such a young age, let alone have to keep it a secret.

      What that person did -telling everyone- was horrible and I’m sorry you had to go through that. I’m glad to hear that you’re doing fairly well now. I’m sure Stacia is a wonderful girl and I hope you continue being happy. I’m glad you enjoy the website and hope you come back to talk to one of us moms sometime soon.

      Love Always, Mom Matti

  87. James says:

    My name is James. I’m an asexual still questioning trans man. I live in a household i don’t feel safe in, and i have developed mental disorders because of it, but i don’t really have the possibility to leave yet. I haven’t come out to my parents, because i know it could prove dangerous for me. I just found out about this website and i am glad some parents are not like mine. Keep spreading the hope

    • Matalin says:

      James,

      I’m glad to hear that you are figuring things out, but sorry to hear that you are uncomfortable in your home situation. Please make sure to take care of yourself, alright? If you feel unsafe, it may be worth the trouble to look into sources in your area which could help. I’m glad you’ve found us. Make sure to come by anytime you feel scared or alone!

      Love Always, Mom Matti

  88. Amyy says:

    i’m a demigirl and lesbian
    I don’t really have family
    my parents still love me But i fear that my only aunt and only grandpa will hate me because they’re so religious, and also I never had a cousin my age and understands me

    • Matalin says:

      Well since you don’t have a family, we’d be thrilled to be your family for this holiday season! It pains me to hear that your aunt and grandpa may not accept you, but want you to know that we always will. You are unique and there’s nothing wrong with that.

      Love Always, Mom Matti

  89. Reagan says:

    Hi there :). I’ve left comments on this site before, but I don’t think I’ve ever really poured out my heart the way I’d like to. So let me officially introduce myself; I’m Reagan, a fifteen year-old nonbinary lesbian. Ever since I’ve come to terms with my sexuality, I realized something was “wrong” with me. It’s taken me longer than it should to realize that I’m nonbinary as well, all due to the upbringing I have.

    Needless to say, my father is not accepting. If I came out with my sexuality, I have no doubts he would disown me. If I tried to explain my gender identity, he would most likely write it off as “bullshit” and “trying to act too much like this fucked up generation I’m in” – which really hurts.

    Like I said, sometimes I’m convinced that parts of me are “wrong”; even if I know that’s not the case.

    I’ve known that I was gay since I was about twelve or thirteen, and I came to terms with it about a year later. The fact that I was nonbinary came a bit later, and I just underwent a name change to go with my true self. (I was born as Antonia, went as Toni, but now I’m Reagan and I’m very proud of that.)

    Most of my friends are online because they’re the ones who won’t talk behind my back or ignore me because of who I am. I’m out to only two of my friends in real-life, which kind of hurts.

    Long story short, it’s so amazing that you guys made a site like this for people like me. Never having a mother figure in my life, this site helps like you wouldn’t believe. I especially like the audio ones, because if I close my eyes, I can imagine a mom of my own smiling at me, offering me a hug and telling me it’s gonna be okay.

    So thank you for what you do. You’re all precious souls, not worthy of this world <3.

    • Lily says:

      Reagan,
      Welcome sweetheart! Sending your virtual hugs and love! (I love the name you’ve chosen!)
      You are loved, so very much! Please take care of yourself alright?!
      Love you to the moon and back!
      Love from your Mum,
      Lily

  90. Matalin says:

    Dear Moms,

    I don’t know if, as a holiday mom, I’m also allowed to send in letters (and I totally don’t blame you if I’m not supposed to). I just want to say a few things, if you don’t mind. I don’t even really need a message back, I just need to talk for a minute. It won’t all be about my sexuality, there are a few other things, but it will be part of this.

    Where to start, where to start…ah, I know where. Since November 19th, I have been on a downhill slope. I have had two grandmothers die in less than a month (Nov. 19 & Dec. 10) then I had finals, a funeral, a viewing, a memorial. I sprained my ankle and my debit card got hacked, leaving me with no money during the holiday season to boot. Also, I’ve got this problem with myself.

    I don’t know what my sexuality is. I’m so incredibly bad at terms, I’ll admit, but after talking to a close friend, I’ve worked out that I think I might be pansexual and maybe polyamorous? I’m not sure yet and I’m still looking into it, but I could really use some support right now. Truthfully, I’m almost to the point of a breakdown.

    My family is very accepting of sexualities, but the polyamory thing…probably not so much. Besides that, it’s so hard to talk to my mom after she’s lost both her mom and step-mom recently. It’s almost like not having a parent around at all. I’m sure things will get better, but I’ve been told that I need to reach out if I’m grieving or hurting. I guess this is me reaching out.

    Thanks for listening,
    Matti

    • Marni says:

      Dear Sweet Matti,
      You’ve offered so much love and encouragement, but even if you had not, you still deserve to be listened to and supported as well. I’m so sorry to hear how rough the holiday season has been for you so far and I’m so sorry for the loss of your grandmothers. That is so hard. Can I give you a comforting hug across the miles? And to have your card hacked on top of everything else? Ouch. 🙁 But onto this “problem” with yourself … Sweetheart, I hope you can eventually see that it’s not a problem at all. Sometimes it takes years and years to find out who we really are. That’s actually one of the joys of this journey called life – the fact that we’re learning something new every single day, and oftentimes it’s something new about ourselves. Heck, I’m edging closer and closer to that 50 mark every year and I’m STILL learning something new about myself almost every day. I’m so glad you reached out and shared the hurts that are on your heart this holiday season. Please know that I’m holding you close to my heart and sending tons and tons of love and encouragement your way. xoxoxoxo ~ Mom Marni

    • Lily says:

      Matti,
      I’m so sorry for your loss. I can relate to that feeling. I lost a set of Grandparents just before Thanksgiving a few years ago (they passed away just a few days apart). So thanksgivings are usually a hard time for myself. I can tell you from experience, it takes time to mourn, and that everyone mourns in their own ways. My own mom was a wreck for a while after she lost her parents. Time. Time is what heals the best.

      Matti, you are unique. You are…. Matti! There is only one of you. So it’s ok and it’s understandable that you don’t know how to describe something that you are unfamiliar with. Heck I am the same way! Life is all about learning, and so, you’ve learned new things about yourself. That’s great, but don’t be scared of it. Yes it’s confusing, but it’s supposed to be. You don’t have to have all the answers Matti, no one ever does. But the trick to it, is not to dwell on the parts that confuse or bother you. Acceptance is important, even if you don’t quite understand it. You’ll get your answers, but it’s important to move forward. You’ll be ok. Look at what you’ve already discovered!
      You are wonderful Matti, for all the words of encouragement you’ve given others. It never hurts to hear those words yourself sometimes.
      You will figure out everything you need to.

      I hope you have a wonderful holiday!
      Love from Mum,
      Lily

      • Matalin says:

        Dear Moms,

        Thank you so much for your kind words. Goodness, I’m in tears. I’m so glad that you both cared enough to send me messages back. Thank you for that. I’m figuring things out after thinking I had everything figured out and that’s hard, but I know I can succeed. I just feel a little lost sometimes, so I really appreciate your messages. They make me feel like it’s okay to be a little lost every now and then. Thank you.

        I hope both of you have an amazing holiday. Thank you for all of your kind words and encouragement. They brought tears to my eyes, but they’re happy tears. I feel so relieved to have gotten all of that off my chest and seen that you both understand. Thank you, thank you, thank you!

        I can’t thank you enough,
        Matti

        • Lily says:

          Matti,
          You’re welcome sweetheart. No one is every perfect, no matter how hard we strive for that mountain peak.
          You deserve the best Hun!
          Love you to the moon and back!
          Lily

        • Marni says:

          Dear Matti,

          You are most welcome. I agree that it is totally okay to be lost sometimes. It helps us to continue to grow into who we are.

          I’m so glad you shared and got things off your chest. Oftentimes, the simple act of having someone witness our pain and confusion is exactly what is needed for us to begin to work our way toward comfort and clarity.

          I’m thinking of you on this Christmas Eve morning and sending so much love to you, Beautiful Soul.

          Merry Christmas!!

          xoxoxoxo ~ Mom Marni

    • Betsy says:

      Dear Matti,
      Sometimes life is just the pits…everything comes crashing down on us at once…and it sounds like this is one of those times for you. You’ve done the #1 best thing, which is open yourself up to support and encouragement in a safe place; right there, give yourself some props for knowing you matter! It’s true that things are pretty sure to get better, but it’s also true that “better” can be painfully slow in coming.

      I hope that hearing from people who care about you gives you a little bit of strength today and the next day and the one after that. Sending you a hug!

      Betsy

      • Matalin says:

        Yeah, I can agree with that. “When it rains, it pours,” as my mom says. I was actually told that if I was mourning I should open up to someone and I chose to do it here (and on an emotional phone call to a friend when I was almost past the edge of what I could handle). Things are already getting better and though it’s difficult, I know my family and I will be okay. In addition to that, we had Christmas at my recently deceased grandma’s house and it turns out she had already bought our gifts. That means we opened them today and even though tears weren’t quite flowing, we were all very sad. Family being together helps, thankfully.

        Hearing from all of you has given me an extra bit of happiness and I am so thankful for the kind words everyone has shared with me. Thank you for the hug!

        Matti

  91. Taylor says:

    I am bi- sexual and twelve years old. I found out about this site through tumblr, and my mother has a hard time accepting my sexuality. My mom is very religious, and tells me that I am not aloud to like females (I am a female) in her house, and tells everyone at church. Its very hard, when the pastor tells me I am sinning and they try and “correct me”. I don’t know what to do. It hurts so bad and I want a mom who can accept me. This site helps so much, it gives me hope for tomorrow. Thank you for taking time out of your day to do this.

    • Lisa says:

      Hi Taylor,
      First of all, SO proud of you and amazed that at 12 years old you so clearly know exactly who you are inside. Coming out can be difficult, even when parents are accepting! My oldest daughter, who is now 16, came out to us at 14 and it took her awhile as she was scared to death, even though she knew that we are very open and accepting people. So, know that coming out is a scary thing, and that is normal to feel that way. I hope that with time your parents will accept when and if you come out, and there is no hurry to do that by the way! Do you have some close friends you can trust to share? If you do, it would be great to surround yourself with friends who love you for YOU. Like I do!

      Know you can come back to our website anytime and read the letters of love for you. Our letters are here all year!

      Much love and light, my lovely daughter,
      Love
      Mom Lisa
      xoxoxo

  92. Kelli says:

    Dear Leo,
    My name is Kelli, and I identify as a tomboy mom. I want you to know that whoever you are, you are loved. I am 38 yrs old and still learning stuff about myself.
    I am sorry your family of origin is having a hard time understanding what is going on for you. I Wish we were closer and I could tuck you into this quilt sitting on the couch with us. You could pick the movie for this afternoon, I picked yesterday!
    Theres a pot of veggie chili in the fridge, I havent gotten around to cooking anything fancy yet this week.
    Thank you for reaching out my holiday child, and know that I love you no matter where you are. My zodiac sign is Leo, and Id be honored if youd call me your holiday mom,
    Love, holiday Mom Kelli, Dad Jerry, and 2-yr old brother Spencer.

    • Leo says:

      Thank you for responding. It means so much to me that I can find support here and I would love for you to be my holiday mom. I would love to be part of a family where no one thinks I’m sick and where people love and accept me.

  93. Leo says:

    Hello, I’ve never really felt like I had a family, mine had ignored me and had been really unsupportive. I’m just coming out of the closet this year and I feel like a freak. My ‘parents’ think I’m messed up in the head. Having a loving family sounds like a luxury that I will never have. I would appreciate support a lot.

    • Matalin says:

      Leo, darling, I want to tell you a little story about my family. We’re all very accepting and though things haven’t been going well lately, we love to welcome others into our home. No matter where you are during Christmas, I want you to know that we’ll be thinking of you.

      I have a cousin who recently came out and as it turns out, he wasn’t truly all that scared. His boyfriend, however, was very scared. He thought his family would feel as yours does, which they won’t. That’s not the moral to my story though, Leo.

      The moral is that no matter how much they hurt you or make you feel “like a freak,” you will always be worth something, even if it’s not to the people who raised you. My cousin’s boyfriend might as well be family with how close he is to all of us, just like you are likely close to family with someone you care about who will or already does accept you. You are loved and you are nowhere near being a freak. I am so proud of you, sweetheart. Remember that, okay?

      Love Always, Mom Matti

      • Leo says:

        Thank you so much for your support and for accepting like your son. I wish my birth parents were as accepting and loving as you are.

        • Matalin says:

          You’re welcome darling! I’m sorry I rambled a little bit, it was late and I have a bit of a habit. I wish your parents accepted you as the wonderful person they are, but because they don’t I’ve been given the chance to meet you (and I love meeting new people). I’m thankful for you and if you need a family during this holiday season, please just think of mine. We love you like family and we’re so happy to have the chance to accept you into ours. Remember that you’re not sick or wrong in any way, alright Leo? You are unique and amazing, but never sick. I hope you have a wonderful holiday, despite your parent’s unsupportive attitudes.

          Love Always, Mom Matti

  94. Alaric says:

    I’m a polyamorous Trans, and pansexual. I found your website via tumblr and I cried as I read some of the letters already posted on here. I was raised in a christian/catholic home (I’m pagan though) so it was really hard growing up. “You have to act like a lady” and “stop acting like a boy, you’re not a boy” are common phrases my mother has repeatedly yelled at me. I did try to come out to her before and she stared at me and said that it was just a phase, only to say a week later that her and my father would be very disappointed if I was lesbian.
    I am so very grateful to have found a place such as this and I really am thankful for people such as yourselves in the world.

    • Lisa says:

      Hi Alaric,
      I am so happy you found us! You know what? I know only one other person with your name, how cool is that? I m sorry that you feel that your folks are not understanding, hopefully with time they will come around to accept you just as you are. Know that all of us moms here DO accept AND LOVE you just for being YOU! xo Come back anytime to read the letters here as they are up all year long. xoxo

      Mom Lisa

      • Alaric says:

        That is cool! I’ve never met another Alaric before. And thank you so much. It really means a lot to me.

  95. Lyn says:

    Hi, I’m 12 years old. My real name is Evelin but I preffered to be called Lyn. I’m gender fluid and I also think I’m Bisexual. The thing is my family are strict Christians, so I know they won’t accept me. Nobody knows I’m bio but my closest friends know im gender fluid but they can’t accept me for it and apparently they think its creepy. My sister likes to insult me by calling me a Lesbian in a wrong manner so I know there against it. But yeh I don’t know how to come out.(I suffer from depression, self harm and suicidal thoughts btw…)

    • Lisa says:

      Hi Lyn,
      I am so happy that you found us! First things first, if you are feeling suicidal, please phone your local crisis line immediately. Don’t wait! They are there to help you. Do not feel like you have to cope with this all alone, that is what those folks are there for! I am sorry that you are not feeling understood or accepted right now, I am proud of you for reaching out to us holiday moms here. Know that you can come back anytime and read the letters here on our website to fill your love tank! They are up all year long.

      Sending you the BIGGEST HUG, Lyn! xo

      Mom Lisa

    • Marjie says:

      Love you !!please if your that sad,Hang on !! help is on the way So many people care let them help. crisis line, here, unitarian churches ,if you look hard enough you will find you are surrounded by love and sometimes it shows up in the oddest places! Until then I want to offer this IT GETS BETTER !! At your age I was in a dark place too but now looking back I gave had great loves in my life, fun exciting jobs ,funny friends that have given me love and laughter DON’T GIVE UP ! All this is coming to you !! Love your holiday mom marjie

  96. Adam says:

    Hi, my name is Adam and I’ve been feeling really bad for the past three years because my parents do not accept that I am trans, I have depression, anxiety, O.C.D, Bipolar Disorder. My parents/family call it an act, that it’s just a phase and I’ll just ‘get over it’. It’s been very hard for me to cope with all this stress. My mum yells at me and/or calls me names when I ask even to just go to the guys section of clothes shops. They’ve made my depression and anxiety so bad that I’m just scared to go HOME from school. I know they hate me and don’t care about me. I’ve always kinda known really.

    Thank you for taking your time and reading this.

    • Lisa says:

      Oh Adam,
      First of all I am SO GLAD THAT YOU ARE HERE! Know that I accept you just as you are, you don’t have to hide anything with me or any of the other moms here on our site. Have you been able to lean on friends at this time? Are there other people in your life that you have come out to that are good support? There are lots of people who WILL love and accept you, surround yourself with them as well. You can come back anytime and read the letters here filled with lots of love just for you! They are up all year long.

      Much love,
      Mom Lisa

  97. Sam says:

    Hey Holiday mom!

    I want to just say it loud and proud here, where no one from my prejudiced family can see. Hi, my name is Sam. I was born Montanna, but I am transgender and I like the name Sam. I was born a girl, now I am a boy and I am also gay. My family hates me for being a transgender, so I’m still closeted now anyway. This blog has really lifted my spirits and has helped me through weeks when I believed I wouldn’t make it. Thank you so much, keep doing what you’re doing.

    Love

    Sam <3

    • Lisa says:

      Yay Sam! LOUD AND PROUD! So PROUD of you for proclaiming exactly who you are here. And we applaud you for it! WHOO HOO!!!

      Know that you can always come back to read the letters here filled with love and acceptance just for YOU. And with time, hopefully your family will accept you as your authentic and beautiful self.

      Merry Christmas Sam!

      I love you!
      Mom Lisa

  98. Katie says:

    Dear Holiday Mom,

    I’m currently in a tough situation. I’m bisexual and currently in the closet. My parents are accepting of a lot but this is stepping over the line. My mom is very Christian and doesn’t agree with gays and lesbians. My dad is in the army and is deployed right now so I’m not sure how I’d tell him. I’ve know for about 5 years but have hid it, dating only guys. Not to mention I have a thing for one of my best friends who is 100% straight. I’ve only told two friends and I just want a helping hand through the holidays this year because it’s hitting me hard, hiding the person I actually am.

    Thanks for the help!!

    Katie

    • Lisa says:

      Hello Katie my beautiful Holiday Child!

      You know what? I am so happy that you found us, and know that you can come back anytime to read letters of love and acceptance from me and all the moms here. My oldest daughter is bisexual, and she took awhile to come out to us too as it is a scary thing to do! I know with time that you will come out when you are ready, and only when you truly are. Surround yourself with folks you can trust and feel safe with, like your two friends, so important to have great friends like that!

      Know that I really do love you to pieces, and in fact, I am sending you a GIANT HUG right now… do you feel that? It’s true! I really did!
      Much love and light to you, Katie,
      I love you…

      Your Holiday Mom, Lisa
      xoxoxoxo

  99. Kelli says:

    Dear Lara and Sophia,
    Ive actually spent the holidays in New Zealand several years ago! The weather is uncanny.
    Im working on whispering first when im very frustrated. if you dont want to come out right now, it can wait. In my house were not judging you either way.
    The year there in NZ, we ate several savory pies, cooked a fish from the market (curry and just with lemon slices), and oh those fries with the sweet chili sauce and mayo! the food is so good there (dont forget your veg too or you might get a tummy ache).
    Im going to look through that roll of pictures if I get a chance today, remembering the soft hoot of the morepork. The lovely Maori hospitality. the cheese and sourdough at the farmers market.
    Ok, Ill pack my NZ wool sweater with me for my trip next week, and be snuggled in all of that.
    My sisters and daughters, im right here on the couch if a hug is OK with you. Blessings to you!

  100. Lara says:

    Hi holiday Mom!!

    My name is Lara and I live in a small part of the world known as Middle Earth (New Zealand).

    It is summer here- amazingly, and so we have quite the different celebration of Christmas here. Including bbq’s haha

    I am a Lesbian, whom my family don’t understand about. I have had several breakups this year and what really gets me down is body dysphoria (I am also Transgender). However, this doesn’t define me. Being a woman, who knows what she wants for her future and how she wants to live is what defines me.

    I study hard, throughout the year, yes even in the holidays! (Like right now, I am busier than ever)

    We just put up our tree today, it means a lot to me because it doesn’t judge me. It’s an activity that I can do as myself without the need to be someone that family turns me into, no societal expectations and ultimately something that makes the home feel Christmassy.

    I feel alone at Christmas, despite being surrounded by family. It is never as myself. So joining you means a lot to me.

    Anyways, I hope you like gingerbread people, because that’s what I’m making for you right now!! And of course they need a house hehe

    Hope I can be welcomed into your home, it would be nice for a change,

    All my hugs,
    your Holiday Daughter,
    Lara

    • Peg says:

      Lara,
      I Love gingerbread people! Bring them over and we’ll have them with a cup of tea. You’ll never be alone on this site.
      I’m glad you’ve got your tree up ~ ours is up but not decorated so you can help decorate if you want.
      I am glad that you have found us. We’ll be here all season. Stop on by anytime!

      Mom Peg

  101. Sophia says:

    Hey. I’m Sophia. I’m a 14 year old lesbian girl who has not come out to anyone but about 5 friends. I have a significant other. But I’m so scared to come out to anyone in my family as I am so young and my parents have talked about how they would never accept someone like that. They would not understand and I don’t won’t to be yelled at anymore. Thankyou. I finally get a chance to share my story. I feel reluctant to post this though.

    • Lara says:

      Hey Sophia!! Happy holidays to you and your beau!!

      Just your holiday Sister here. Gosh I’m proud of you!!
      I’ve been waiting all year for you say this. I’d love for you to join me for Christmas lunch, bring your gal pal with you, I’m sure we have heaps of stories to swap.

      Funnily enough, I’m in NZ, so you’ll have to contend with the bbq, we have all sorts grilling at the moment!! Maybe you’ll join me and my brother for a swim? He’s always jumping into the waves before lunch, beaches are so close here.

      There’s plenty of tinsel to wrap yourself up in, maybe we could get some holiday snaps together? It would remind me of how much you’ve grown, and how much more you have to look forward to! Being 24 myself, I know how hard it is to come out- I’ve done this three separate times to my parents!! (You can imagine how they have taken it haha)

      Regardless of where life takes you, know that I am so very proud of you. You’ll always be loved here, and celebrated. You’re uniquely YOU. And that, dearest Sister, is exactly what you mean to the world. Never forget that.

      Ok, I have some cookies for you, I hope you like Christmas trees!! I took all the candy cane cookies haha.

      After the lunch, we could huddle down for a snooze, it’s pretty chill here at Christmas so have a few books you want to read- I’m always starting new ones!!

      Wherever you are this holidays, whenever you doubt yourself, know that I am thinking of you and what you can achieve. You’re incredible Sis!!

      All my hugs,
      your Middle Earth holiday Sister,
      Lara

  102. Sophia says:

    Hey. I’m Sophia. I’m a 14 year old lesbian girl who has not come out to anyone but about 5 friends. I have a significant other. But I’m so scared to come out to anyone as

    • Lisa says:

      Hi Sophia,
      I am so glad that you found us! You can always come back here anytime to read letters from me and the other moms to fill you love tank! You will come out when you are ready…. no pressure. Until then, I am so happy that you have 5 great friends you feel safe with to share who you really are. <3

      Mom Lisa

  103. Alex says:

    Hello. I’m Alex, a genderfluid pansexual that’s 17 years old. I’m just looking for support these upcoming holidays because these are the times where my family gathers and no one, sadly, is accepting of LGTBQ+ and it is a very popular topic in our household, mainly it’s the rest of my family insulting people that are part of that, and since I still haven’t told them, they make the crudest comments that are possible and then they all turn to me and ask, Alex why haven’t you said anything? Holidays are even worse because my entire, grandmas, grandpas, aunts and uncles decide to add their own opinions to that, and I’m just needing some support, so thank you.

    • Holiday Ciocia says:

      Hi Alex,

      I have a few people in my family who can be insulting too, ugh, it’s so awful! I’m sorry to hear you have to deal with that!

      I am happy that you are here and that we both have a space to escape some of the family drama. I wish I could go somewhere with you for a while to get away, maybe go for a hot cocoa or drive around and look at holiday lights or something like that, whatever you like to do.

      Sending love and light, your “cool” holiday auntie.

  104. Ikari says:

    Hi. I’m Ikari, and I just turned 18 today.
    I’m a genderfluid bisexual, although I’m mainly male. I can’t come out to my family, because even though they say they’d be supportive of any decision I made, they hate the LGBTQ+ community, and it almost always being the topic of interest makes them not like it even more…
    I’m terrified, and I’m so scared that they’ll kick me out if I tell them.
    I can’t go to live with my boyfriend just yet, either… He’s still living with his parents and they don’t know about me yet.
    I could really use some support for the holidays.
    -Ikari

    • Holiday Ciocia says:

      Hi Ikari,

      I am glad that you are here. Welcome! Please come by anytime you need to.

      It can be difficult to feel like you can’t be yourself, but it is ok to do what you need to do to survive or get by sometimes.

      I hope that your future is “merry and bright” and that you are able to find a place you can be yourself and be loved.

      In the meantime we are all here for you, sending lots of hugs!

      • Ikari says:

        Thank you, so much, Ciocia. I’m glad you said something… I was starting to think I was going to be ignored like I usually am whenever I say something. So I thank you for that.

    • Tammy says:

      Hi Ikari!

      Happy birthday, sweetie! Did you know you’ve been on my mind all week long? I read your comment when you first posted it, but was having computer problems and couldn’t reply immediately.

      My family is very loving, but my mom and many of my extended family members disapprove strongly of the LGBTQ community. It can still feel like a hostile environment, and it’s exhausting to hang out with them for too long. Please remember to take time to be alone or with friends and do things that make you feel relaxed and good about yourself. It’s extra important when you’re not getting that feeling from your family. For me, those things are self-care, like cooking good things for myself or painting my nails, or painting. What do you like to do?

      I’m really happy you have a boyfriend, though his home isn’t a safe haven. Y’all take care of each other and yourselves while you wait for the freedom to live on your own, okay?

      Write anytime you like, and please let your boyfriend know he’s welcome to write in, too.

      With love and hugs,

      Holiday Mom Tammy

    • Lily says:

      Happy Birthday Ikari! <3

      Take one moment at a time Ikari. You're stronger than you realize sweetheart! You are perfect just the way you are (You are the only person I've ever met with your name!), and I love you.

      Love from your Mum,
      Lily

  105. Kelli says:

    Dear Chase,
    Please know that Im not a great crafter, but Im going to put up a paper stocking on my mantle for you! Im so sorry they dont accept you how you are. You are wonderful, you are worthy of love, and you are welcome in so many houses. Hopefully someday you’ll meet someone like us in person, and until then know you are treasured and accepted as who you are. I will dance and sing with you over the holidays, in my heart. Bless you, Love, a tomboy mom (and a like minded dad and little brother!)

  106. Chase says:

    This broke me down and I cried. To know people actually do care. I am Spending the holidays by myself. My family is leaving to go out of town for two weeks during the holidays and I will be alone. I’m not allowed to go. I have been out as transgender female to male for over a year. My mom insisted on hanging my birth name on my stocking and it shattered me. I am not accepted in my family at all. They purposely say my birth name, she, her etc. and laugh about it. Especially my mom and father. Reading these comments truly made me smile. Thanks to each and every one of you moms and dads who care! Your making a difference in the world!
    -Chase

    • Jennifer says:

      To my wonderful holiday son Chase,

      I’m hoping this letter finds you well and in good spirits. I’m hanging your new handmade stocking by the mantle. It’s brushed blue velvet with white fur trim, and I hand stitched your name, Chase, in silver thread.

      Please remember you are an amazing young man, full of promise. I can’t wait to see how you will change the future. I’m so proud of you, and how hard you’ve worked. I know your journey hasn’t been easy, but no good thing ever is, is it?

      Please bundle up, take your vitamins, and remember you’re amazing.

      Happy Holidays,
      Love Mom (Jennifer)

    • Peg says:

      Chase,

      I am so, so very sorry that your family has disrespected you and left you out. I can’t think of anything more cruel and painful.

      Do you have a friend whose parents you can talk to, a counselor, teacher, someone? I hope that you can find someone to spend at least part of those two weeks with. But I especially hope that you have someone you trust and you can talk with.

      Chase, you have a wealth of Love here at Your Holiday Mom. Each and every one of us would be happy to take you in our arms and tell you how much you are loved and appreciated.

      It’s stories like your that make me wish that this was a year round site where we could offer you the love, comfort and support that you need and deserve.

      Chase my wonderful son, you deserve to be loved and cherished for the amazing person you are. I am so very proud of you for coming out and finding the strength to continue to be you.

      Please stop by again ~ anytime you feel the need for some loving…

      I Love You Chase,

      Mom Peg

    • Lara says:

      Hey Chase!!

      Wow, it seems like you’ll be cuter than Macauley Culkin huh? 😉 That is exciting!!

      You’ll have to show me all the Christmas baking you have been doing. Me and my flatmates have been baking cookies just for you, we thought we’d give you the snowmen!! I got little Christmas trees hehe.

      I have almost sorted your present out, it might go with your suit…no peeking though!!

      I can’t wait to see you one day, you could carve the turkey, and I’ll crack open the OJ and the strawberries!! It’s summer here in New Zealand, but darling Holiday Brother, I’ll be toasting to you!!

      Sending you all these hugs and cookies!! You better be wearing that holiday sweater I chose out for you, you know, the one with the little reindeers on it? It’s red and green- I don’t care if you wanted blue haha.

      Oh, and we don’t have a mantle at our place, so I made you a namecard for the table, hope that’s alright!! It’s got little snowflakes on it hehe.

      Biggest, squishiest hugs holiday Brother,
      Love from your holiday Sis,
      Lara 🙂

  107. Kierra Bush says:

    I’m not sure if this is still a thing, but, if it is, can I have a holiday mom please? I want to know what it’s like to have a mom like this.
    Thank you for your time,
    Kierra

    • Peg says:

      Kierra,

      This will still be a thing until New Years Day. We are ALL here to be Your Holiday Mom. We are not individually assigned. We are here to love you and support you and all of your siblings. I hope that you have been reading some of the letters and getting something out of them.

      If you are moved by any particular letter, you can leave a comment for the mom and she will most surely write back to you.

      I hope that you find peace this holiday season and know that you are loved by a great group of moms and that I Love You Kierra!

      Love,
      Mom Peg

    • Mom Carin says:

      Hey there Kierra you want to hear something wonderful? All the Holiday Moms and Dads are YOUR holiday Moms and Dads. Every day there will be a new letter to read from one of us, sharing love and acceptance. You and all of your brothers and sisters on this page are thought of every day, not just during the holidays but year round. We send you massive hugs and warm chats snuggled up on couches. Most of all we want you to know that we see you for who you are and love you.

      Snuggle up tonight knowing that your holiday Moms and Dads are sending you love.

      Mom Carin

    • Jennifer says:

      Kierra,

      I’d be glad to be your holiday (or any time of the year) mom. You need to know there are people who care about you, and love you for you, and who have your back. I do. I hope that this holiday season brings you joy, happiness, and good health. So as a mom, bundle up and take your vitamins 🙂

      Love,
      Jennifer

  108. Jackie says:

    Hello, all!

    I am an openly bisexual, devout Roman Catholic. (Don’t worry….you can be both!) I also live with my Dad and my dog, Sasha in the Northeastern United States. I lost my mom to cancer when I was fourteen, in July of 2008. I did not have the opportunity to come out to her (she was going to be the first one to know) as she passed away before I could tell her. I’m glad she knows now, as Jesus beat her to it when she got to heaven.

    I only came out to my surviving family last year, almost two years ago now, at the beginning of 2014. While my Dad’s family has offered me nothing but unconditional support and love, (it took my Dad a while, but he’s finally come around!) my mom’s family is a different story. I haven’t talked to or seen them in the seven years that my mom has been with the Lord, and when I came out to that side of the family, I was met with nothing but hate, disguised as acceptance. Most of my mom’s family turned their back on me, and have distanced themselves even further from my Dad and I since coming out.

    Other than my Dad and his side of the family, I am completely alone this holiday season. I have four aunts on my mom’s side, and one of them I had to cut out of my life completely after coming out of the closet. I’m so proud to have adopted you all as my Holiday Aunts, Uncles, and Cousins. For once, I have both sides of my family again, if only for a while.

    I’m so glad that Jesus led me to this site…..He knew I needed it. Thank you so much, and may the love of the Divine Christ Child be with you this holiday season. <3

    Your Holiday Niece and Cousin,

    Jackie

    • Peg says:

      Jackie,

      I am sorry that you lost your mom at such a young age. I’m sure that the love you feel for her was felt by her at least 100 times over.

      I am very happy to hear that your dad’s side of the family is supportive. Stay with the people who love you and appreciate you for the wondrous person that you are; you don’t need that negativity in your life.

      Be strong, Be You.

      I Love You,

      Mom Peg

    • Holiday Ciocia says:

      Hi Jackie,

      I don’t have kids, but will totally be your “cool” holiday auntie if you’d like.

      Sending lots and lots of hugs! So happy you are here.

  109. Rye says:

    Hi, I just wanted to share my story with you all.
    I’m a 22 year old intersexual. I grew up with my grandparents and while my gramps never forced genders on me, my nana had always pushed the life of a girl onto my shoulders. After I moved in with my mother at the age of 16, my life just went down hill from here. I got put on anti-depressants and had many suicide attempts. My family only ever yelled at me for these things rather than get the help I needed. I waited until after I graduated high school before I moved away from them. Started living my life as a boy and then finally a year later moved back and came out to those closest to me. I told them that this was me now. That it had always been me. I needed to stop lying to people and being forced to play a role. My family only yelled at me and shunned me. Finally my girlfriend moved in with me and together we got an apartment and moved away. Only now that I’ve been happily living my life without my family have they all turned around for the better.

    However as an intersexual person I feel a lot of pressure to come out with my story and shine light to those of us who are neither male nor female. This is sorta ‘pride’ that’s gets shoved on me, like I’ve been blessed with this gift and I need to share my story and educate people.
    However I do not want this. I don’t want to keep feeling like I’m some sort of mistake. Flawed by nature. An ‘it’ rather than a he. I’ve always felt inbetween and never knew what I was. It’s hard watching my trans friends be yelled at and told that they’re either a boy or a girl and yet there I was. Instantly guilted back into my depression. I’ll admit I was ashamed for the longest time and for those who had always known me as girl now simply think I’m FTM, which is not the case since I am actually intersex. I haven’t the heart to tell them. I do though, have a small close knit group of friends who do know and are very accepting.

    My family’s trying now but by all means are still rather rude to me. I AM however already a year along in my transition and have had my name and gender changed on my papers. Life is going good, My partner loves me very much and we have bright plans for the future. I am trying really hard to move on from my past but it’s hard when you don’t have the support of family. I see a therapist every few months and are getting on the proper medicine for my PSTD. So seeing these letters and knowing there are moms out there who care warms my heart.

    What you are doing is a beautiful thing and I’m very thankful you exist. I just thought I would share with you my story in case there are other intersex people like me out there who feel pressured into being one or the other or both for that matter and let them know that it gets better and that it is alright to have pride or have a different life.

    • Brandy says:

      Dear Rye – So happy to read “life is going good” towards the end of your story. You are such a strong and courageous person – I am so proud of you! There are tons of moms, dads, grandparents – all kinds of people who are accepting and love others just as they are. Thank you for sharing – I know it probably wasn’t easy but I’m sure reading it helped someone else to not feel alone in their struggle. I wish you peace and love!! Mom Brandy

    • Kieran says:

      Rye, just wanted to share with you that I too am an intersexual.. And I am also 22. I have a similar situation to yours, except my parents forced the female gender on me. I have been finally living comfortably as a male as I’ve always known I should be, my family is not very supportive but hopefully one day they will understand..until then it is up to people like you and I to pave the road for the younger ones who are also just like you and I.. Just sharing with you that you are not alone and that I love you and I know you’re a beautiful soul.
      I am proud of you for standing up and being you, I know it is not easy.
      Stay strong.

  110. Zach says:

    Hi, everyone.
    I just wanted to say that I’m so incredibly happy that I found this site. I’m a 20 year old transgendered man, and while my father has been (somewhat) accepting, everyone else has looked at me as if I’ve grown another head. They tell me something is wrong with me, and that I’m a result of a mistake. It’s really hard, and most of the time I’ve found myself unable to look in the mirror.

    I’ve found support in my fiancé, but sometimes not even she can keep out the negativity around me. Reading some of these letters have brought a smile to my face when I thought I was about to cry. I’m really happy that I found you all, so thank you.

    • Matalin says:

      Dear Zach,

      You are NOT a mistake. You are amazing and you’re not much older than me, actually. I’m so proud of you and I’m sorry that you’re having difficulties. I’m glad you’ve enjoyed our letters and I hope they help you stay happy this holiday season.

      Love Always, Mom Matti

    • DramaMama says:

      I’m so sorry there are people in your life that don’t understand you. Sadly, we all have negativity in our lives–about our weight, clothes, personality, job, something. People are afraid of what they don’t understand. There is nothing wrong with you. That’s the way God made you. I promise that as you get older it will get easier. The best part of getting older is being able to accept who you are and not really caring what other people think. God makes no mistakes.

  111. Jasper says:

    Hello, I just stumbled upon this website today and it made me so incredibly happy to read some of these letters!
    I am a 16 year old demiboy (identifies as partially male, but not fully) and my parents are accepting of my gender and sexuality but misgender me constantly, as well as all my extended family. My mom is by best friend but she can get upset if I talk about my identity as she feels she is “loosing a daughter” this of course makes me very sad because seeing her sad ruins me. But I know one day she will be okay with it and maybe eventually use my correct pronouns and name. <3 I know she loves me anyway and I am so lucky to have her support in this journey.
    I get misgendered constantly by all my teachers, classmates and family, and it takes a toll on me. It makes me upset and feel like my identity is not real.I think I have only heard someone refer to me with my correct pronouns, he/him, about 4 times in the last year and a half I've been out.
    My dad and brother are less supportive, but nonetheless, I still love them.
    When I feel like my parents cannot be there for me, I know this page will give me comfort. Bless you all for taking the time to do this, I know it will help so many people around the world! And although I have at least some family support, I know this will help me this season whenever I'm upset. It would mean a lot if I got a response to this comment also, just so I know one of you wonderful holiday moms have seen it! :^)

    All the best,
    Jasper

    • Peg says:

      Jasper,
      I am glad to see that you ave found us!
      I am sorry to hear that you are hurt by the lack of use of pronouns ~ I have misused them myself. A gentle reminder and some education can go a long way ~ let the people who are closest to you know how you feel, they may not realize how much it hurts.
      Come back for a hug any time
      I Love You,
      Mom Peg

    • DramaMama says:

      Hi Jasper–old habits die hard. It’s likely that they don’t mean any harm, but I know from experience it’s hard to adjust your thinking. Just keep correcting us when we make mistakes. We all make a lot of them. I think it is more about our inability to remember to adjust rather than a slight against you or your identity. Sending love!!

  112. Jennifer Anderson says:

    hiya, im Jennifer im a 18 year old male to female. who is asexual. my family kicked me out when told them i was trangender back in December last year. i get abuse daily and i struggle with accepting people

    • Matalin says:

      Dear Jennifer,

      I have a friend named Jennifer Anderson (It’s not you, it’s someone younger than both of us)! Are you safe, darling? I always worry about these kinds of things. I hope you find safety soon. Are you okay? Keep me updated sweetheart. I’m a mom, I worry too much. Remember that you’re loved, alright? Also, keep yourself safe.

      Love Always, Mom Matti

    • DramaMama says:

      I’m so sorry this happened to you. Stay strong and know that there are many people that WILL support you because you are a PERSON. Gender and sexuality is only a small part of who you are. Give your family time to accept this. Sending love and good wishes.

  113. Cai says:

    I needed this.

    Im a 17 year old gender fluid teenager and I just need someone to support me right now.

    Thank you for this website.

    Your BOY, Cai.

    • Your Holiday Ciocia says:

      Hi Cai,

      We are here to support you on your journey. You are very welcome, we are happy you are here. Stop by anytime.

    • Matalin says:

      Dear Cai,

      You’re a year younger than me and I can say from personal experience that I am nowhere near brave enough to figure out if I am genderfluid or not (though I know I’m not), let alone tell anyone about it. You’re very brave an I’m so proud of you. We’re here to support you anytime you need it.

      I love you, my sweet boy.

      Love Always, Mom Matti

  114. Martha says:

    Oh, this is absolutely wonderful. My immediate family (mom, dad, and two sisters) have always been extremely, let’s say, non supportive of my bisexuality. I’m too afraid to come out to the rest of my extended family because they’re all very conservative and I know they won’t be supportive. Only two cousins (my best friends who I love dearly) are supportive of my sexuality, out of my entire family.

    The holidays have been hard on me for the past few years for a number of reasons. Not having schoolwork to do always aggravates my depression and I always end up feeling sad, empty, and lonely during the time when I should be feeling the happiest. I know, it sucks ass. But now that I’ve discovered this website, I think I’ll be feeling a lot better this holiday season.

    I just wish I could explain to my family how I feel. I’ve been having crushes on girls since I was very young. My attraction to people of my same gender comes as naturally to me as breathing. God made me who I am. I cannot change, I cannot repress this part of me. And feeling like my family, people who I really love and want to be accepted by, doesn’t accept who I am, doesn’t love me for who I am … It’s just really hard sometimes, especially during the holidays.

    I just discovered this blog today but I know it’ll help me a lot this holiday season. Please, please keep doing what you’re doing. You’re bringing light and love to a lot of people’s lives, including mine. I LOVE YOU <3

    • Peg says:

      Martha,
      I am amazed by your strength!
      “God made me who I am. I cannot change, I cannot repress this part of me.” makes me incredibly proud.
      I Love You,
      Mom Peg

  115. Kelli says:

    oh Dear Robert, you are wonderful. Different is wonderful. You are so thoughtful even though you have been hurt. my toddler was getting into stuff yesterday and my husband and I had a little disagreement, and my son started saying sorry! I said oh honey im so sorry we raised our voices. Were not yelling at you, we just dont know how to make this house safe enough for you because you are so curious! so we moved some furniture and put some stuff in the attic safely, and now the toddler doesnt have to hear mommy and daddy arguing. Its never the kids fault. never. I love you, tomboy momma Kelli

  116. Robert says:

    I needed this site. I’m old, sixty years old now but my parents, grandparents, teachers, everyone rejected me completely as a child and as an adult. I’m disabled,, trans and bi, now living on SSI, have a wonderful adopted daughter, grandkids, son in law and cat. So I am not alone now… but a mother’s hatred cuts deep wounds. I can be Grandpa now but my inner child is still a boy flinching at the screams, I lost some of my hearing to being screamed at so much.

    What is WRONG with you? she’d scream. She never wanted the answer, the truth was “everything” as some of these disabilities are from birth or toddler.

    I cried at that letter from Mom Jenn, because I couldn’t understand when I was little why Tiny Tim was loved and I wasn’t. I wanted to be Tiny Tim, even if we didn’t have money he was loved and he could be cheery and warm up the hearth. I’m still like that, and I pick dandelions, draw cat portraits, teach people to sketch, vainly on some deep level hope being good is enough, but Santa never brought trucks or cars or typewriter to write weird tales. Only baby dolls and girls’ toys and no plastic sword.

    I am better off now in a thousand ways. But this site just warmed me to my core. No one’s ever too old for this if they were estranged. Thank you.

    • Peg says:

      Robert,
      I am so sorry for the way you were treated. No one deserves that.
      I’m sure you are an excellent dad and grandfather.
      Come back for more love whenever you want.
      I Love You,
      Mom Peg

  117. Vicki says:

    I think this is just wonderful. My mom hasn’t spoken to me in 3 years(when she realized that I am a lesbian), and my father is pretty much non existent. I was alone on Thanksgiving, and sad. And then I found this site. Thank you so much for supporting people like me, who cry into their store-bought dinners because they don’t have a family table to sit around (and I can’t eat a whole turkey by myself). Seriously, these letters are a blessing. I wouldn’t call it hope, I know my mom is going to present I’m dead for the rest of her life, but it does matter that someone knows, and someone cares. Thank you.

    • Peg says:

      Vicki,
      I am so sorry for the behavior of your mom ~ I hear you and I care.
      I’m glad that you are finding some solace with these letters. Please come back all season and feel the love.
      I Love You,
      Mom Peg

  118. Peg says:

    Jayce,
    I am so grateful that you were not successful with your suicide attempt.
    Last night I read that within 48 hours of the launch this year 300 moms wrote in to see if they could write letters next year. 300 moms that would hold you tight, kiss your head, warm your belly and acknowledge you for who you are. 300 moms that would gladly sit with you and listen as you told your story. 300 moms whose heart would break if you were anything but gentle with yourself.
    Please seek out and keep an access number for a crisis counselor. We truly want you to be around to read these letters next year.
    I Love You Jayce,
    Mom Peg

    • Jayce says:

      I just want to thank all the moms helping us get through our toughest times.You guys are truly inspirational. You guys are loved deeply. Thanks moms

  119. Kelli says:

    Hi Jayce, I am so sorry the holidays are such a rough time of year. Im having a rough week myself, its my first year without both of my parents. Thank you for reaching out. A dear friend shared this conductor’s music with me, its definitely not what I usually listen to, but Eric Whitacre’s story has been really interesting to me to learn. He did a TED talk about forming a Virtual Choir- lots of YouTube videos of that too. This is my favorite piece of his right now https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=FFiZVIoj5jQ I hope you enjoy this music, having something other than pop songs helps me! Sending you my love, Kelli, a tomboy mom

  120. Ashley says:

    This is the sweetest website ever.
    I am so glad I found this website.
    All of you moms are such wonderful, loving women. I am so thankful for you all.
    Thank you for everything you do.
    I love you xoxo

    • Jayce says:

      Hey I’m transgender and the holidays are rough , everyone is stressed out and I’m just here like what do I do so I’m not pissing anyone off. At school everyone is excited for holiday breaks but this one in particular .. Christmas will be my 1 year anniversary when I tried to commit and was in a hospital for some time. As the day gets closer that’s all I think about and I start to break down because I think I’m not good enough nor strong enough and I shouldn’t be here today. Helpful distractions ?

      • Peg says:

        Jayce,
        My response wan’t posted under your post and I do hope that you found it.
        I am sending you as much love and support and I can. Here is an embrace for you xoxo
        I love you,
        Mom Peg

      • Robert says:

        Jayce, I’m also transgender, thankfully done with transition this holiday season. I’ve been through many years of fighting that myself. Distractions are good. Really good. There is a book that I bought by Ray Bradbury that helped – “Death is a Lonely Business.” It’s an odd thing, a mystery actually and I hate mysteries, but it’s Ray Bradbury so it’s got that underlying warmth and acceptance of the odd lots,minorities, anyone discriminated against. He wasn’t homophobic or transphobic or racist, he was just a strange man with a happy black cat who looked like he was seventy going on twelve. Even the back cover photo cheered me up.

        I’d read that book. Sometimes Terry Pratchett books, he’s really funny, darkly cynical but warm, British humor.

        Pet the cat. If you don’t have a cat, borrow one. Consider getting a cat. A good cat can look after you in ways a dog would never think of. When you let the cat take charge, she’ll decide she’s your mum and literally there is no trouble a mother cat can’t wash away with her tongue. I cried a lot and over the decades many cats have licked away tears but I’m still around to write about it and made it past the hardest parts when I waited decades for transition and couldn’t pass well.

        Last, learning to draw and keep an art journal helps. Journaling in words let me get the dark stuff out on the page and sometimes turn it into science fiction, ramp up the pain and trouble till it was larger than my life. That took some doing. But learning to draw and sketch leads to paying attention to the beauty in the world, you learn to see in learning to draw. There is always something to draw. When I was in jail there was still the sky, the clouds were there and different, and there were people.

        If you get good at drawing people past a certain point every face is beautiful, some are in pain and some are angry or bitter but it’s easier to stay whole and accept them for who they are. Once I could accept anyone else in the world for who they are, I could begin to accept myself too. A weird runaround, but drawing can lead to that kind of insight.

        Drawing trees and flowers or cats and buildings, or your favorite cup, anyhing like that, starts to turn your own life beautiful. You’re reminded of the things you love and they get easier to draw every time.

        I wish I could send you a pocket watercolor set and a little Molekine pocket watercolor book and a nice pen, a Pigma Micron or a Lamy fountain pen or both. I’m dead broke and don’t know where you are, but there’s the spirit of those things. If you’ve got the money put them in your stocking, open them on Christmas Eve, draw some of the ornaments and sparkly things.

        I cut out snowflakes from granola bar mylar wrappers ad tape them up. Decorate for the holidays. Actually doing something for it helps even if you’re alone and of course if you get a cat, you’re not alone.

        I’m out here too, dear lady. You’re not alone. There’s others of us, a whole big community that loves you.

        Rob

    • Mom Theresa says:

      Alex,

      I’m so happy you found this site! You don’t just have a someone accepting you as you are, you have LOTS of someones accepting you, loving you, and supporting you.

      Hugs!

      Mom Theresa

  121. Sam says:

    I will be honest, I’m not personally a part of the LGBT family, but I did find this website through Tumblr. I’m not part of the LGBT family but these letters still really help. I’m sort of alone, my parents don’t see me. For as long as I can remember I just wanted a set of parents that really loved me. I think that what y’all are doing is beautiful.

    • Peg says:

      Sam,
      You don’t need to be in the LGBT community to want/need to be loved. I am sorry that your parents don’t see you ~ that is definitely their loss! Come back anytime for some hugs!
      I Love You,
      Mom

    • Kerry says:

      Sam,
      I’m sorry you’re feeling that emptiness – it can act like a cloud that follows you everywhere. Fortunately, the family you’re born to is not the only family you get. You can surround yourself with people who love you for the beautiful person you are. They can be a family to you as well. Some of them will be older, some will be peers, and one day some will be younger. And one day, one of them will need family and you’ll be there for them.

      Merry Christmas, darling!

    • tiffany says:

      Im kinda in the same situation. I dont have parents/siblings/family because i escaped an abusive situation. my mother, grandmother, and a sister are narcissistic (as in seriously) and i suffered mental/emotional.and some other types of abuses. I have PTSD from it all. i finally put my foot down and cut contact so i could try to find my sanity and to keep my own kids safe. im 27 but….i do very much miss the idea of a mother

      • Peg says:

        Tiffany,
        I’m sorry that your birth family is such a mess.
        I am proud of you for getting into a healthier situation ~ for you and your kids. It sounds like you are the kind of mom that you need.
        We are here for you and will continue to love and support you all season. I hope that we are able to fill that need for you.
        i Love You Tiffany,
        Mom

  122. Jennifer Flores says:

    I find this website wonderful and very soothing you guys are amazing. I’m bisexual but my family doesn’t accept it. It took me the longest of times to actually realize who I was. But now my family doesn’t accept me. I feel so left out.

    • Matalin says:

      Jennifer,

      I’m so sorry to hear that your family doesn’t accept you. It took me a long time to realize my sexuality as well, so I know how difficult it can be. I’m so sorry you feel alone during this holiday season, but we’re always around to make you feel loved.

      Love Always, Mom Matti

    • Peg says:

      Jennifer,
      I’m sorry your family doesn’t accept you for who you are ~ but I am proud of you for realizing who you are and letting them know. Hopefully someday they will realize what a gift you are to them. In the meanwhile you can get your hugs right here!
      I Love You,
      Mom

  123. Mycroft says:

    Hello! I found this website because of Tumblr and I am so happy I did. My name is Mycroft and I am an asexual transgender guy. You might find my name a little pretensious, but it was a nickname that just fit. This year has been chaotic for me mentally after I finally realized that I am, and always have been a boy. I told my mom and dad but they don’t take me seriously. I doubt they ever had. My dad still uses female pronouns and “princess” as an endearment l and my mother just ignores the fact and still jokes fondly about me being a woman scientist someday. It tires me to no end. I also came out to two of my friends, who accepted me with open arms, but only one really understands me. The main problem I am facing is my transphobic, classist and sexist grandmother who treats me like a little girl that she can dress up and talk about boys with. She gets mad at me when I get a short haircut that doesn’t follow her code and even condemns me from wearing sneakers because “You are not a little boy”. I have been wanting to get more masculine clothing and a binder, but my mother skirts around the binder issue whenever I bring it up and expects me to buy clothes from the womens section. She skirts around every issue she faces if I am going to be brutally honest. Since I stopped seeing my therapist, I have been keeping everything bottled up and it is has been emotionally tiring and wearing down on my mental health. I am so happy I found this website and I hope I am actually posting to the right part of your website.

    With best wishes,
    Mycroft

    P.S. I don’t want pity. I just would like some general acceptance. 🙂

    • Kelli says:

      Dear Mycroft,
      There is nothing wrong with selecting a name that suits you- my mom used to call me Sherlock when I was too clever for her so it makes me chuckle fondly.
      Im a bio female tomboy mom for lack of a better set of terms. I never identified strongly enough with any other labels to take one. I like my hair short, I dont like makeup, Im more comfortable in mens slacks. Heck, I prefer gym shoes because theyre more comfortable!
      Peace, hope, and acceptance to you! and Im sorry your family is having a hard time showing you acceptance. Youve got it here <3

    • Peg says:

      Mycroft,
      I am sorry that your birth family doesn’t accept you for the wonderful young man that you are. You are welcome here, and loved, and supported. Hopefully you will be able to find some supportive people in your area.
      Maybe you can find a different therapist that can help you with your mom and dad?
      Enjoy as much of the holidays as you can.
      I Love You,
      Mom,

    • Kerry says:

      Mycroft,
      I’m so sorry your parents are struggling with your identity. You are obviously a confident, self-aware man – it takes a lot of guts to put your whole, true self out to your family and friends. Mycroft, you know yourself – run with it! Own it, hold your head up high, be proud of who you are. Time wears down some things and strengthens other things. Let it wear down their prejudices and strengthen your identity. It will get better.

      Merry Christmas, love!

    • DramaMama says:

      Writing can be a great release. I’m sorry that your family is struggling with this. That is not your fault. You are perfect the way you are. Can you go back to your therapist? Be true to who you are and give your family time to adjust. Sending love and good wishes <3

  124. Alyx says:

    Thank you so much. These letters are just what I need coming into this hard holiday season. I’m a genderfluid pansexual who has been without their family for almost 10 years because of their mother’s religious beliefs about their sexuality.

    It’s hard to be alone at christmas. Reading these letters makes it a little less hard. Thank you so so much.

    • Kelli says:

      Hi Alyx, even your name is beautiful! Im sorry family’s religious views get in the way of just loving you. Im a biological female tomboy mom. I want to offer my love, thank you for reaching out. you are in my thoughts! be safe and well <3

    • Matalin says:

      Alyx,

      I hope you like the letters this year! It makes me sad to hear that you’ve been without a family for so long. I’m so sorry your mom doesn’t support you, but I want you to know that we do. We love you so much and we’re all so happy to share our homes with you this holiday season.

      I know it’s hard, but you’re welcome to visit and read our letters anytime.

      Love Always, Mom Matti

    • Peg says:

      Alyx,
      I hope you realize that you have 40 moms ~ you are not alone! Come back often!.
      I Love YOU,
      Mom

  125. Paige Stone says:

    I was just told about Your Holiday Mom on Facebook, And I just want’ed to say what your doing here is wonderful. The letters are inspirational, just reading the few posted here, make me feel better about being… me.
    This is my first holiday season with out being with my family. Its hard to be rejected so completely for loving my amazing girlfriend as a girl.
    Thank you all again.

    • Jennifer Fleming says:

      Dearest Paige,
      I am having a similar experience. I quickly realized, however, THEY are the ones who are broken. THEY are the ones with a problem, not me, or you. What is has created for me is a deeper and stronger relationship with everyone who does care. you have someone in your life who DOES care. Don’t let go! Cherish every wonderful moment you have together. Whatever you do, be your true self, be authentic, be REAL.

      Love you,
      Auntie Jen

    • Peg says:

      My Dear Paige,
      I am so glad that you have found us. I hope that we are able to fill you up with love and support this year. You are very lucky to have found love ~ hold on to it!
      Hugs & Kisses,
      Mom

  126. Ryn Trio Terry says:

    i’m a transguy who’s been officially in transition for about three – four years. i’m still dressing the part and haven’t been able to go on hormones yet, but do have a medical condition that gives me enough facial hair for me to have a small mustache and a goatee. my parents don’t accept me, and i’m unfortunately in a financial situation that makes me have to live with them. my father is mentally ill and borderline emotionally and verbally abusive and is either completely oblivious to my current life state or in insanely deep denial of it, either way, at even the slightest mention of anything even related to LGBT is met with violent anger. And my mother is unsupportive and adamantly against my life state and refused steadfastly to refer to me even with a gender neutral and a shortening of my birth name. She’s forbidden me from going on hormone therapy on the grounds that because i’m in THEIR house, i have to go by what they say, no matter what. i long to be able to go on the hormone therapy and change my voice and reduce my chest size so that i can feel more like myself and be more comfortable in my own skin and have some hope of coming to at the very least tolerating myself.

    • Matalin says:

      Your body parts don’t make you the person you are inside. You are no less valid without the hormones. I’m sorry about your home situation and I sincerely hope things get better soon. I have been in the “you’re under my house, you follow my rules” lecture for years, but to a lesser extent. I’m so sorry that they don’t accept you as the person you are inside, but I want you to know that your family here does. We love you dearly and whenever you need us, please don’t hesitate to drop by and talk or tell us how you’re doing. You are valid and you are amazing!

      Love Always, Mom Matti

    • KJ says:

      Ryn,

      Hang in there Ryn. I’ve been in a similar situation too when I first came out as a lesbian. My family was not supportive and I was unable to be on my own due to health insurance reasons. I had to make some tough decisions and sacrifices- one if which was to stay at home until I had enough money to leave. I eventually was able to get on my own. I’m now happily married to my wife. I know all of the hardships I went through as a late teen, early 20s person were horrible, but I survived. I won’t tell you the cliche’ “what doesn’t kill you makes you stronger’, because that isn’t helpful or what you want to hear.

      Be able to recognize that you ARE going through a difficult time and that it is OK to feel frustrated. BUT, never give up, because it WILL get better and one day you WILL be able to take the hormones and have top surgery. You WILL get to the point that you are only dreaming of right now. Do not lose hope.

      And just like Mom Matti said, your body parts do not define you. Ryn, young sir, you will be just fine. Stay strong.

      Sincerely,

      Momma Main

      • Jennifer Fleming says:

        Dearest Ryn,

        Life can be very difficult at times. Several years ago, a dear friend of mine was abducted at gun point by her boyfriend. She was abused and threatened with death daily and locked up, kept prisoner. She finally decided that she was not going to be the girl who going to die that way, she was going to die running for her life. She escaped. She didn’t die.

        At some point in the future you too will decide that this is not OK, that you deserve better. It doesn’t take much to break away. Start making your plans. Squirrel away whatever money you can. Do your research. There are communities all over the country where you will be accepted for being who you are. You may have to be homeless for awhile. The ONLY thing holding you back is your fear of the unknown. Consider deep inside could it really be that much worse “out there?” Evaluate the pain you could possibly have to endure “out there.” Most of it will be in bits and pieces, not continual. Now weight that against the pain you experience now, especially the pain that you are having to live with 24/7.

        You can do it Ryn. Perhaps not today, or tomorrow, or even next week. But start planning your freedom, young man. You deserve it and you owe it to yourself.

        Love you,
        Auntie Jen

  127. Derek says:

    Hi, I’m Derek, a fifteen year old, asexual, panromantic transgender boy. All my life, I knew something was out of place. That something wasn’t right. And it wasn’t until seventh grade that I realized what it was, that I realized I was transgender. That I’m a boy. Now I’m a freshman in highschool. I’ve come out to all of my teachers, my friends, hell, even my therapist. But I can’t tell my parents. I mean, my dad knows. He’s known for a while. But he sees it as a phase. He still calls me Rebecca, and uses female pronouns, and I know he sees me cringe and flinch at it. My mom doesn’t know, and she’ll probably kick me out if I tell her. I can tell she’s inherently transphobic. She couldn’t even handle it when I told her I was pan. She constantly emphasizes that I’ll have a boyfriend someday. Only a boyfriend. God forbid she also know I’m polyamorous. I’m in a happy, healthy relationship with my girlfriend Lucy and my boyfriend Nick. Of course, she doesn’t know about them. Neither does my dad. I just wish they’d accept me. I found you guys via a post on tumblr, and let me say, im god damn grateful. I’m off to Alabama tomorrow, to see the rest of my family, most of whom would probably be the same way as my parents are. This is such a beautiful website. Thank you for listening, or rather reading what I have to say, even if no one replies. Thank you.

    • Peg says:

      Derek,
      It sounds like you have done a lot of introspection. I am happy to hear that you have so much support from your friends, teachers and therapist. I am also happy to hear that you are in healthy relationships.
      Sometimes people begin to accept changes over time. We aren’t here to give advice but you may begin to teach your mom a little bit at a time ~ taking advantage of teachable moments Mom, do you know what … is? or Mom, what do you think about the soup commercial where there are 2 dads?
      You’ve lived with your true self for awhile and sometimes it takes time. Think baby steps, one step at a time.
      Speaking of time ~ I’ll be eating apple pie around 6:00 EST on Thanksgiving. Feel free to join me (I’m referencing my upcoming letter).

    • Ann Sevaaetasi says:

      Hi Derek,
      I know the holidays can be hard. You are not around the most supportive people. After high school you can go off to college and surround yourself with friends that support you and very close bonds can be formed that can lead you to consider them family. There are a lot of families like this. Blood does not determine family, love does. I wish you the very best of Thanksgivings. If you can’t talk to anyone or don’t feel comfortable , just relax and eat all of their food.

    • Faithsy says:

      Hi, I’m Genderfluid And i’m Quoiromantic (in the Aromantic Specturm) and Cupiosexual (a subset of Asexual), and i don’t think i can tell my parents this, Since i’m still trying to accept myself as well…… 🙂

      • Matalin says:

        Work on accepting yourself first, darling. I haven’t heard of quoiromantics or cupiosexuals, but I’d like to know what they are (a.k.a. I’m going to look it up). As soon as you feel comfortable with yourself, start trying to figure out how to tell your parents. No matter their response, you’re welcome here anytime.

        Love Always, Mom Matti

    • Allegra says:

      Derek, you are so strong and so wise, even at 15. I am pansexual and poly as well, 25, and in healthy, consensual poly relationships. I wish I would have had the resources and support for all of this when I was a teen, and it took me a while to figure out nothing was wrong with me! Your post spoke to me, and I want you to know that who you are is valid and wonderful. Your love for multiple people is a treasure, and I hope that you build a life that is filled with love. Your family is not defined by blood or birth, but by who holds your heart in sadness and who grows with you in joy. Always seek out those who value, respect, and cherish you, because you deserve nothing less. Have a beautiful holiday and new year; I just know you will do great things.
      -Allegra

    • Jody says:

      This letter made me feel so happy for you because you are feeling healthy and happy in your relationships, in spite of your home situation and the behaviour you’ve seen modeled in your family. You sound like such an emotionally resilient and inherently joyful young man. May you see all kinds of beauty in unexpected places this season.

  128. Anberlin/Vincey says:

    I just want to say that I found this site from a Facebook ad, and looking through all of this has brought me to tears. You see, I no longer have a “family”. Why, you may ask? Because I came out as bisexual at 19. I remember that night better than I’d like to. My stepmother calling me pathetic, sick, a freak, etc. How I decided to just get my coat and start walking. How she tried to attack me on the way out, only to get a door to the face. How I had to shove her in self-defense. Then the police got involved, and my “parents” come after me, telling me that I could have gotten them in trouble and how I’m “ruining the family” by not conforming to what they want. They never cared about me. They just didn’t want me to make them look bad. It actually hurts just to write this, but it needs to be said. I am involved and active in an alternate lifestyle community, and engaged to a male. I am physically female, but I have discovered that I encompass both genders. My husband to be is the greatest person alive to me and he accepts and loves me for everything that I am. I have gone on to be a friend and advocate for other LGBT+ people who have endured (or will endure) similar. I tell them all that life really is better without closed minded parents and relatives. I fully believe that, myself. But there is still, and always will be a void and the ever looming voice reminding me that I am a throwaway, and I know they will feel that, too. I’m going to stick around this blog for the holidays and tell some of my friends about it, as well. I just want to say (as I choke up and try to contain myself) thank you for caring so much about people like us. You bring us hope where society has robbed us of our own.

    Anberlin/Vincent Jr.

    • Peg says:

      My Dear Sweet Anberlin/Vincent Jr.,
      I am so sorry to hear of the struggle with your family but proud of you for being so strong; my son-in-law sounds great!
      Thanks for sticking around and sharing us with your friends.
      Please join me with a piece of pie at 6:00 on Thanksgiving.
      All my love,
      Peg

  129. Alexa says:

    thank you so much Carin. You guys have a great thing going for you, and I promise to wait until I am 18 to get any of my tattoos done.

  130. Felicia Gurden says:

    Recently, my daughter came out to me as bisexual. Actually, I encouraged her to share. At 29 years old, I knew she had a truth that she felt was uncomfortable. How did I know this? I knew by how she reacted whenever dating was discussed. I knew by slips of the tongue, etc. I can’t tell you how happy I was when she told me that she hadn’t said anything to me because she was just coming to terms with her bisexuality herself. I am blessed to have a beautiful, intelligent, caring daughter that I hope one day will have a partner that loves her as much as I do. Male, female, transgender, it doesn’t matter. What matters is my daughter’s happiness. I’m not perfect and still have a ton to learn. I just want everyone to know that there are parents out there that would love to have you at there home for Thanksgiving and the other holidays coming up. My daughter can’t come home until Christmas. And, I worry about her, as well as my son (who is hetero) spending the holiday alone. So from this mom to you, I wish you a glorious holiday and hope that you will spend it with friends and adopted family that value you and your truth.

    • Matalin says:

      This comment made me so happy Felicia. Although I’m a holiday mom and I’m completely comfortable with my sexuality, I have been dreading having to tell my parents about it. Hearing about a parent who not only supports their child, but also encourages them to be themselves makes me have a little more hope. Thank you for posting this, I’m in tears. I hope that when I gather enough courage to tell my mom, she takes it as well as you have when your child told you.

      Love Always, Matti

  131. Jordan says:

    I came across this after seeing a post on Facebook and I’m really glad that I did… I’ve been struggling a lot lately and the holidays are hard when your family hates you… These letters are amazing, it’s surreal because I almost forget that love is out there and you guys are seriously awesome! Thanks for making us feel loved.

    • Mom Carin says:

      Jordan,
      I am so glad you found us! Keep coming back, know that you are in our thoughts and prayers to fill you with love and light.

      *HUGS*
      Mom Carin

    • Jennifer Fleming says:

      Hi Jordan,

      I understand. Back in the mid-70s, I was a long way any family, for the first time, during the holidays. I remember all too well how that felt. I was adopted at birth and didn’t have any idea who my birth family was, or if any of them were alive until 18 months ago, at age 67.

      Then, in the last few months, my life changed dramatically. I transitioned to live the rest of my life as a female. I’ve had to prune a couple of sisters and a few nieces and nephews from my family tree because they not only refuse to accept me as I am, but they said some things that were very hurtful.

      I have come to learn what is important in life. Biological family is overrated. TRUE family consists of the people in your life who deeply care about you and you care about them. This consists of ANYBODY in your circles with whom you have a close, caring connection. It can include neighbors, friends, members of social and support groups, and even coworkers.

      I am happier now than I have ever been in my life. I am truly comfortable in my own skin for the first time in my life. I have confidence, and purpose in my life. A recently went into a professional recording studio to document a short story about my journey. Watch the introduction. It is interesting. Then skip past the first speaker, if you wish. My segment starts at the 12 minute mark.

      https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=sH4ycp89ees&feature=youtu.be

      Always, ALWAYS, be true to yourself. Not doing so just causes more pain. Hermann Hesse wrote, “… even the unhappiest life has its sunny moments and its little flowers of happiness…” It is all a matter of point of view. Whenever something good happens, no matter how small or trivial it may seem at the time, focus on it, make a mental note of it. At the end of the day, remember all the good things that DID happen – a favorite song on the radio, watching a happy child, hearing a bird singing its little heart out, a beautiful flower, something you had to eat that REALLY tasted great. After awhile, you will notice that you find more and more of these and gain strength from them.

      Love you, Jordan.
      Auntie Jen

    • Cathy says:

      Jordan, I am so sorry to hear about your family. But I have always believed we have two families – the one of “chance” that we are born into, and the one we “choose” for ourselves. I hope you will choose loving people to surround you, even if it’s virtual for now. You are loved and cared about, and a precious human being.

  132. Nat says:

    I just wanted to say thank you for everything you do. I’m gender fluid, pansexual and polyamorous, and tremendously grateful for the life I’m beginning to make for myself in Brighton, UK.
    I’ve suffered from depression and anxiety near as long as I can remember, and earlier this year this was exacerbated by my realisation that my parents are… Toxic to say the least. I didn’t return to my childhood home of Dubai over the summer holidays to attempt to repair my mind for the upcoming year of university, an exercise which ultimately I believe did work out in the long run. I don’t think I could have survived three months of Dubai summer with them.
    During this time I finally came to accept my pansexuality and began exploring polyamory – I have five wonderful partners who support me in every way they can, and I love them with absolutely every fibre of my being. Around the time that the U.S. recognised same sex marriages, I decided to try to come out to my parents, desperately clinging to the shred of hope that they could be happy for me, and not disappointed that I didn’t fit their picture perfect image of me. It seemed to go alright, but I did my best not to hold my breath for it. When I first notably experienced dysphoria mere months later, I was too scared to shake what peace I though I had to tell them, and so kept quiet, desperately trying to low key hint at it and gather a wardrobe that would allow me to explore my gender presentation more freely.
    They proved me wrong and shattered the illusion of peace when I went home for ten days shortly before my birthday. I arrived and all but immediately was met with doubt, denial and aggression. My father came out with transphobic comments about my girlfriend that made me feel physically sick and incredibly angry, my mother tried to tell me how she’d had incredibly close female friends and never been attracted to them, asking how could I possibly know I was attracted, she gaslit me and attempted to convince me that my partners were abusive and using me, they told me that there was no way I could be polyamorous despite my remembering daydreaming and loving the thought of it when I was as young as eight years old. And this doesn’t even cover the verbal abuse I suffered for my attempts to ease my dysphoria by binding and presenting more masculinely. “Nat you should put some mascara on, you’d look so much prettier” “Nat go put on a dress, you look like a builder” “why are you wearing a sports bra Nat you have such a lovely figure, show it off!” “Oh no, let’s not look at the men’s jeans, I know you want some but they’ll make you look like a builder and you don’t want that now do you? No lets get you some nice girly jeans” “you don’t suddenly want to be a boy do you?” “I swear, you were trying to be as unattractive as possible yesterday”. This only exacerbated my constant nerves when going outside in Dubai as someone queer through and through. With all the horror stories that had been hammered through to me, especially by my parents, about how female bodied people presenting male would go to prison for being as they put it “dykes”, about how lesbians and gays were regularly sent to prison, how gender non conformation could wind up getting you killed, how polyamory in women would get you deported, the one time that I left the house, to go with my parents in the hopes of getting some new jeans, I was quaking in my boots the entire time, only to have my feelings validated by none other than my mother herself with her comments on men’s jeans. I had multiple panic attacks that I had to keep under wraps and cried in the changing rooms because they won’t even accept my mental illness.
    The final nail in the coffin was when on the last day there my father told me that Louise, the partner that helped me realise the toxicity of my relationship with my parents and desperately advised me not to go home for the summer out of worry that she wouldn’t see me again, was of all things, manipulative and abusive, and had “manipulated me into infidelity” as his exact words went.
    I have since maintained communication with my parents, but I’ve limited it as much as I can. The situation has worsened further still as they’ve pushed me into silence, in effect offering to treat me as a human being if I continue to treat them as authority figures, including just pretending that I’m still their picture perfect doll who has a monogamous relationship with their boyfriend, and who isn’t wearing manly builders clothes, but instead the pretty dresses and skirts they always insist on buying for me in the hopes of me presenting as they wish.

    All I want for Christmas this year is to be able to celebrate with my partners, to curl up in front of a fire and not have to care about the troubled home life I’ve had. I just want to be free to be me, to not conform to the standards that have been pushed on me. Maybe it’ll happen. I doubt it though. I still love my parents. I just wish they loved me, open heart, broken body and all, and not the picture perfect doll that sits on their shelf and repeats back the lines trained into them since birth.
    Thank you for listening to me.
    Nat/Natasha/Nathaniel.

    • Mama Lisa says:

      My sweet child,
      I hope our letters can help make the holidays easier for you.
      You are loved, and I hope you feel it with the letters you read.

      Although it may not feel like it, you are at an exciting time in your life, a time to surround yourself with new people, people who are open, accepting and who will lift you up.
      Let your light shine bright little one

      love Mama Lisa

    • Mom Carin says:

      Oh Nat,

      Your letter touched me deeply, there is a phrase that some people live by, “fake it till you make it” in some situations this is very true, when learning a new skill or conquering fear. But when being true to the person we are on the inside. This is very hard and painful. I can not tell you what to do about your family. The dynamic is too multi layered to even consider it, I can suggest that you surround yourself with people who love and accept you. Soak in that love and hold it in your heart like a precious jewel so that during the hard times you can know that your truth is still there, precious and loved.

      Even from here I see who you are and I love you.
      Mom Carin

    • Jasmine says:

      Dear Nat,
      I’m a young mom of 2 children. My eldest is a boy who is 5 years old. He’s always been the most physical, masculine child I could ever imagine. Ever since he was small he has loved my little pony, Dora the Explorer, Strawberry Shortcake and so many other girl targeted shows. I remember my step father making a comment in a joking manner about how I’d better get a handle on that he might start acting like a girl. I defended his right as a child to enjoy what he wanted to watch. Those shows are meant to be attractive to the eye and they have music that is catchy. It wasn’t until my son came home from daycare in a pair of purple skinny jeans with glitter that was the tipping point. I took a picture and posted it on Facebook because I thought he looked adorable in the color. It gave me hope that one day he would be a stylish guy. Well people in my life didn’t appreciate my lack of identifying purple as a “girl color” and they thought I’d practically lost my mind. Now those pants weren’t his, he had to be changed at school and those were the only ones they had that fit. But the comments I got made me so angry that I didn’t bother to explain that. I had to make it clear that gender specific anything is a concept that is created to divide and label. If he got older and picked out his own clothes, I wouldn’t care what he was wearing. As long as he’s not naked, why should I?

      I recently had my second child, a little girl. And I won’t lie I loved being able to buy all of the girly things you buy for babies because I never thought I’d have another, let a lone a little girl. I look at her and I see a reflection of myself. I know that my mother hopes I raise her the way she attempted to raise me. Sheltered, feminine and lady like. I am the “liberal” representative in my family so the assumption is that I won’t care about how my daughter looks and that simply isn’t true. I want her to dress as she’s fit. I want her to be proud of her skin, her beauty and her intelligence. If that means she does it in men’s clothing it means I buy her gift cards to places that sell mens clothing.

      My family raised me to believe that if I stepped away from my religion I would end up in hell. I lived in fear of so many things for years and caused me (along with other things) to have anxiety about it. I suffer from depression, anxiety and other things that until this year my mother thought I was being dramatic about.

      My family thinks the reason I am so forward is because of my generation but it’s not. Until 2 years ago I identified as a cishet female. I finally admitted to myself and my husband that I was bi-sexual. He was understanding and actually already knew. My friends knew before I self identified and even more recently I’ve started identifying as pansexual. I have lived my life everyday for the past 5 years as a heterosexual woman and it’s all been out of mere coincidence.

      I only bothered to share all of that because I want you to know that life is so much bigger than blood familial relationships. My family knows nothing other than what they see and what I choose to let them know. I am liberal with who my children are allowed to be because I wasn’t given the same right. I know what it’s like to feel like you can’t tell your family things because of fear of judgement. But I will tell you it’s liberating when you find someone or someones who understand all of you.

      I know your heart is broken because your parents aren’t ready to love the real you but I’m glad that you. Even if your parents never come around know that the love you choose to have in your life can make that void seem less empty. My family will never know about who I really am but my children will grow to have the understanding that love is not something to be contained by what a person chooses to wear, what genitalia they have or even what genitalia you have. As long as they see you like I do they are worth investing your time and love into.

      You are wonderful. Never forget that. I hope your holidays are beautiful and special. I hope the new year brings open hearts and love into your life. Merry Christmas Nat.

    • Matalin says:

      Nat, sweetheart, I’m so sorry to hear that your parents don’t seem to support you.Alternatively, I’m happy that you have not one, but many partners who support you. You deserve support and I’m glad you’ve found both that and acceptance with your partners. Now, I know that you may feel lonely this holiday season without your family’s support and care, but we at yourholidaymom.com love and support you in every way. I hope you have an amazing holiday and you’re welcome to come back here to get all loved up anytime.

      Love Always, Mom Matti

  133. Ale says:

    Hi, so I’m pansexual and a few friends know it, but I’m really scared of telling my parents, cause last week I mentioned that I might not be heterosexual and they looked at me like if they have seen a ghost, and that’s why I’m scared of telling them specially cause they are really religious. What if they stop talking to me? Or what if they reject me?

    • Mom Carin says:

      Darling Ale,

      My wish and prayer is that all parents would accept their children for the precious gifts they are, completely as they are with no strings attached, sadly this is not the case a lot of times. If you are still living at home with your parents, you may want to consider postponing coming out to them till you are secure. Give them time to have the idea that you might not be heterosexual, percolate in their minds and hearts. Hopefully this time will help them continue to accept you for who you are and not have them react out of fear and misunderstanding. I am not saying to hide who you are, I am saying that walking gently and carefully can get you through this time.

      Much love
      Mom Carin

    • Jennifer Fleming says:

      Hi Ale,

      I am 68 years old and transgender. I didn’t come out to the world until 6 months ago. I have sisters and other relatives that are myopically religious. They don’t accept me and have said some terrible, hurtful things to me. Ultimately, I decided to cut them out of my life. I pruned them from my family tree.

      Ultimately, you have to do what you feel is right for you. For me, I realized that I have to live with myself 24/7. They do not. I spent a lifetime trying to live up to the expectations of others. Believe me, that doesn’t work. When it comes to their religion, are they right? NO! I am a highly spiritual person who knows God personally. The way of the higher is love and acceptance of everything and everyone around you. Intolerance, judgment of others, and hatred are NOT what any religion on this planet has ever taught in its purest form. Look around you. All of God’s creation has almost infinite variation. Why should gender identity and sexuality be strictly binary? It doesn’t make sense.

      I have come to learn what is important in life. Biological family is overrated. TRUE family consists of the people in your life who deeply care about you and you care about them. This consists of ANYBODY in your circles with whom you have a close, caring connection. It can include neighbors, friends, members of social and support groups, and even coworkers.

      Be true to yourself always. Be confident and strong in the knowledge that you are the way you were meant to be.

      Love you Ale,
      Auntie Jen

    • Liz says:

      If they reject you it will be painful and scarey and alienating. BUT you will survive it because you ARE love. Sharing the love you have is so important. People who understand you will accept your love and reciprocate. The only true thing in the world is love. Try not to let yourself be fooled out of knowing the fact that Love is all.

  134. larissa says:

    for quite awhile now I’ve struggled with multiple things. although for a long time I thought that i had to choose to love only one gender and I could not choose just one. I still can’t , but I thought it was the only way. I had never met a bisexual person. a few years ago I met a girl, she made my heart race , she was perfect. I would always flirt with her without noticing and stare at her lips. she asked me to go on a date with her and I said yes , obviously. but I had to tell my mom that I was going out to the movies with a few friends , not just her. scared that she might find out about me and who I am , I didn’t want to get punished and have to cancel my plans with her. my family always makes jokes and they say “that’s gay ” as an insult. then follow it up by “but there’s nothing wrong with that” but that’s only my moms boyfriend. my mom goes along with it but I don’t know how she really feels about it. I can’t risk telling them. not now , she will possibly ship me off to my dad’s but then again I don’t know what he thinks of it either. I’m horrified of the possibilities. I can’t help but let the constant of possibilities keep me up at night. some of the letters on here have mad me cry knowing parents could be so cruel to their own children. I come on here quite a bit and read other peoples letters. today I guess I just felt it was the day to tell my own story.

    • Mom Carin says:

      Larissa!

      Was the date wonderful?? Did you have a great time and enjoy each others company? I hope you did! I hope that you get to be exactly who you are and that in time your family will accept all that you are with love and understanding.

      Till then know I am thinking about you and loving you from afar.

      Mom Carin

  135. Alexa says:

    This is absolutely amazing. My parents kicked me out because the religion they’re in does not accept bisexuals, especially ones who wanted tattoos, and to get married to a person outside the religion. This is going to be my first holiday without them. And it breaks my heart that they cannot except me for who I am. Thank you so much for making this site, it really did (and will) brighten my holiday spirit. <3

    • Mom Carin says:

      Hello darling Alexa,

      Now is a great time to start some new traditions, or find ones you like and adopt them. Spend time with people who love and respect you. Make wonderful food, listen to great music and spread your love light everywhere. The only thing I said to my daughter about tattoos is that they are permanent so spend time thinking about what art you want on your skin, make sure you love it and find yourself a safe and talented tattoo artist to do the work. (full disclosure I made her wait till she was 18 so she had no regrets down the road)

      Love every inch of yourself!!

      Love Mom Carin

  136. Natalie says:

    I just stumbled upon this, and I’m crying at my desk. My parents kicked me out of the house in April, and I’ve been cut off from everything – insurance, phone plan, and absolutely none of my family members talk to me anymore. Luckily, my girlfriend’s parents are amazingly supportive and let me move in with them, but I’ve been struggling wondering how I’m going to make it through the first holiday season without any of my family. Thank you so much for this. <3

    • Matalin says:

      I’m so sorry that you were kicked out of your home, but I’m glad you’re safe with your girlfriend’s family. I hope you know that you are loved this holiday season and I will keep you in my thoughts. I’m sorry you’ve been hurt, you don’t deserve that. Remember you’re loved, okay? This holiday season might be hard, but you’re welcome to come by and read our letters to help anytime you need it.

      Love Always, Mom Matti

    • Peg says:

      Natalie,
      We will do our best to help you through the holiday season. This is a wonderful place to come for love and support. Family isn’t necessarily the people who have the same last name as you, but are the people who love you. It sounds like maybe you will be with family this holiday season.
      We aren’t here to give advice, however, if you are a minor, your parents are required to support you. Please research your rights.
      Let me wipe those tears and give you a hug.
      Your Holiday Mom Peg

    • Baylee Jourdan says:

      When I came out in 2013 a lot of my family was fine with it but I decided to keep it a secret from my dad. (My parents are divorced) I was 15 so he thought it was “just a phase”. He told me that the reason I turned out this way is because my mom never made me go to church. He called me and yelled until I hung up the phone because I couldn’t take it anymore. Then he called my mom and blamed my sexuality on her. I called my at the time girlfriend and cried for at least an hour. – Not much has changed since then. Although my moms side of the family accepts me, I’m still hurt my father doesn’t accept me for who I am. Now that I’m 18 and he doesn’t have to pay child support he doesn’t speak to me. I’m glad I found this website. It’s wonderful to know there’s parents out there who I know love me no matter my sexuality because they’re open minded and loving.

    • Jennifer says:

      Natalie,

      I am so sorry to hear about the sadness and pain you’re feeling. I hope that your holiday is beyond amazing, and that the new year brings changes in the hearts of your family.

  137. Theo says:

    I’m crying so hard right now. As a transgender boy, this site and how caring everybody on it is means so much to me. I came out to my mum as transgender about 2 months ago. I’m a minor, and she didn’t throw me out of the house, but no one in my house speaks to me. I feel like a stranger in my own home and I’m alienated from my family. This website is amazing. Thank you for all you do.

    • Lisa says:

      Oh Theo,
      Can I tell you something? I am SO GLAD that you found us! And know that you can come back anytime to reach out and get your love tank filled. I am so sorry that your family has not been reacting in a loving way, that is so unfair in so many ways. Sometimes it can take a long time for family to accept when this happens, and with time, it may get better. In the meantime, love, know that I, and all of the Holiday Moms here on this site DO accept you just as you are, and can I tell you something else? I AM SO PROUD OF YOU for coming out as trans! Do you know how brave you are? AMAZING! You are an inspiration to me, and to so many other kids just like you. Be true to who you are, surround yourself with friends and loved ones who fill your love tank too.

      Much much LOVE and also, with my heart, I am reaching out to you right now and actually giving you a giant hug.. can you feel that? I really am! No distance can stop this loving energy coming your way, Theo!

      Write to any of us anytime, someone is always here…

      Love
      Mom Lisa
      xo

      • Faithsy says:

        I’m Genderfluid and a Quoiromantic-Cupiosexual. and I love this website so much! It makes me cry tears of joy that someone can affirm me as I am.

        THANK YOU SO MUCH!!! :’)

        Quoiromantic- is on the Aromantic spectrum, finds it hard to distinguish romantic feelings/attraction with platonic feelings/attraction

        Cupiosexual- Is a subset of Asexual, but desires a sexual relationship/wants to have sex regardless of no having sexual attraction

        • Your Holiday Ciocia says:

          Hi Faithsy,

          Thank you for joining us, and thank you for sharing. I have not heard of those terms before today, but I am open to learning and understanding more.

          There are so many ways for people to express themselves and love one another, isn’t it amazing!

          Happy you can join us 🙂

    • Matalin says:

      Can I tell you something sweetheart?

      I have someone who is like a sibling to me that has gone through much of the same thing. Their parents know they’re transgender and don’t accept them, but they found solace in myself and another shared friend. I hope you know that you’re welcome to contact me in any way you want. My name on most social media sites is matalinnoel and you are welcome to add me on any social media you have. I also want you to know that you are so loved by all of us not only today or tomorrow, but every day of the year! Come by anytime you need a little love and we’ll be right here to give you as much as we can. I know it’s hard, but keep your head up! You are loved!

      Love, Mom Matti

    • Jayce says:

      Hey , I’m transgender too, and I recently came out a couple months ago. Things were really dark for and Ik I will go through some darker moment before I can be happy but that’s just life. Being transgender you have to know that not everyone is going to accept you. But truly you’re the only person who must accept you . It’s nice to have others that support you but know who’s really there for you. I’m struggling with being myself and bring dysphoric but I’m trying and things have been better. But I found this website because I am afraid of the holidays such as thanksgiving because I know a lot of people are going to bother me that night. Like I’m a boy leave me be . But I will keep in mind that I can’t assume that everyone is educated on that sense. I’m just hoping I can survive. Anyways I’m thankful for the people that support me in my journey.

    • Jennifer Fleming says:

      Hi Then,
      I’m also SO glad you found us. I’m 68 and transgender female. Several of my family members and I are no longer on speaking terms. The last straw was when they said some very cruel and hurtful things to me. Treasure anyone and everyone who comes into your life that accepts you. As you now have us, we also have you.

      Perhaps I can give you a little extra strength to make it through the difficult month ahead. I have come to learn what is important in life. Biological family is overrated. TRUE family consists of the people in your life who deeply care about you and you care about them. This consists of ANYBODY in your circles with whom you have a close, caring connection. It can include neighbors, friends, members of social and support groups, and even coworkers.

      Love you Then,
      Auntie Jen

  138. Jake says:

    It’s 4:40 AM right now and as I write this I can’t help but pause every few seconds because my eyes are watery. I knew that I was gay at a very young age and I guess moms tend to know somehow. My mom would always ask me if I was and I denied it because I grew up going to a Christian church and my lifestyle was unacceptable. She said if I ever told her I was I would go straight to hell, and that she would rather see me dead than gay. For this very reason I had always planned to keep it hidden. My plan was to grow up, go to college, move to another state, find the person I wanted to spend the rest of my life with, and just cut my family entirely. I know my parents, I knew they would never ever accept me. And I was right, they know now, but I was thrown out of my house, my mom said such horrible things to me… they hurt less now. I don’t speak to them anymore, or well they don’t want me around. When I found out about this website, I felt a pain in my chest because I remember the rejection from my mom, but as I read the letters I couldn’t help but cry because there’s people out there that actually want me around and that care that I exist…

    • Mama Lisa says:

      Good morning my sweet Jake,
      I am thinking about you today, hoping you have a positive and fulfilling day. Please know that there are people who care, who love, and who will defend you. Sending love and hugs.

      Love Mama Lisa

    • Mom Theresa says:

      Hi Jake,

      First, I want to say I am so sorry for all you are going through. I know firsthand what it feels like – when I was younger I was disowned for holding beliefs that were different from my family’s beliefs. So I know how painful that is.

      I’ve said this in some of my other comments and I want to tell you, too, because it is so true: We do write open letters on here, so that we can touch as many people as possible, but I think I speak for each mom on here when I say that we genuinely love, accept, and support each person that visits. And I love, support, and accept you for exactly who you are.

      Do me a little favor? Close your eyes. Now……you feel that? That’s me giving you an extra big squishy hug, Jake. I’m full of them, so whenever you need a hug, please know you’ll always get one from me.

      Big love and lots of hugs,

      Mom Theresa

    • Marjie says:

      HI JAKE just wanted to send some love and hugs (I’m kinda known for my hugs)can’t wait for you to make all those dreams come true!You will meet an amazing guy who thinks you Rock !and be patient with your mom it’s hard I know but deep down inside she loves you she is just scared of the unknown and it’s hard to turn off a lifetime of values (whether good or bad)have an awesome day and know that you are loved

    • Kathy says:

      Hi Jake! We absolutely DO care that you exist. Never doubt that there are people who will lift you up and embrace your spirit and your friendship. Hoping with all of my heart that it is not long before you cross paths with those people. And we will always be here with love and hugs when you need it. Be true to yourself, and the people that are worth keeping in your life will be there. Hugs to you!

      Love Kathy

    • Shamama says:

      Hi Tyler,
      We are so happy that you found us! How it works is, starting on US Thanksgiving (November 26th) a new letter will be posted to the site everyday for wonderful people like you to read! You then can comment directly on the letter and interact with the Holiday Mom who wrote it. You can do that for as many letters as you like!

      We hope that you know how truly LOVED you are by all of us Holiday Moms here, and know that you can read the letters all year long!

      xo
      Love
      Mom Lisa

  139. Juliah says:

    I don’t know if people still use this, but I want to say this anyways. I’ve liked both genders but didn’t really know what it was so I kind of kept quiet about it for a long time. Anyways, when I finally knew what it was I felt like I could open up about it a little more but, of course, I found out about people saying “Gays are fags” and stuff like that because at the time I was Christian but didn’t really look into the bible as much as I have recently. So I, once again, kept quiet about for a couple of years then people started supporting the LGBTQ community more and more until gay marriage was legalized. So I celebrated online and everything. Then one day I was talking to my mom and asked her what she thought about it. I expected her to say she thought it was amazing. She’s an amazing mom. Her reaction wasn’t as bad as some of the other peoples I’ve seen in the comments, but it still hurts because that’s my mom saying that. She said that she “Didn’t agree with it” and “The bible says homosexuals are an abomination” but she kind of stopped talking about the bible part of it, thankfully. She claimed she wasn’t homophobic but she kept saying how if anybody was gay it was because they didn’t have good luck with girls so they searched for alternatives and only a small part of gays and lesbians were actually “Real” Gays/Lesbians. I dropped the subject after that and I’m just scared to come out to her and the worst part about it is I have now have a girlfriend that I have to keep a secret and the day I became her girlfriend I wanted so bad to share the news with her and she’d be all excited and we’d both be happy but that wouldn’t have happened at all and it just makes me so sad because I don’t have that kind of mom.

    • Matalin says:

      Juliah, I understand where you’re coming from. I’m sorry that your mom doesn’t accept your way of life and that you’re scared to talk to her about it. I want you to know that even if things don’t turn out the way that you want them to, you are no less valid. I’m glad that you’ve found someone who makes you happy and it’s a shame that you have to hide your relationship from your mom. My mom reacts much the same way about other things, but I haven’t had to have that particular conversation with her. Nevertheless, I wish you luck and I want you to know that you are loved, even if your mom doesn’t accept you. You have a family here and you can come talk to me here anytime.

      Love Always, Mom Matti

  140. Daniel says:

    I swear by fate or some incredible force, I came along this site and my life is now forever changed.
    The first letter I saw was a happy new year one by Mom Lisa and-
    I have never, ever felt more loved by anyone, mom, thank you so much
    All I can really say is thank you
    Thank you for bringing me to tears, for making me feel a warmth inside that I’ve been missing since I was little, thank you for doing things like this to help kids like me, especially out of your own time.
    I’m not out to my family, and only my friends know about my pronouns and my name, but I’ve tried coming out to my mom before.
    The only few words I can say to describe that experience are “scared to death” not to do it, but to how she reacted. I told her I was transgender, and she threatened to pull me out of school, kick me out of the house, or lock me up in a mental institution if I didn’t take it back. She said I’d been influenced by my friends and I wasn’t really a boy, because I wasn’t a three year old that dressed like a boy and I used to love makeup and girly clothes. I had never cried so much in my entire life. Not only did I realize I lost the mother that said she’d love me and respect me and appreciate everything I am and want to be, but I realized how truly alone I was because she’s the only adult I have in my life.
    But now I’ve found you, and I might not be the most religious person in the world, but you are truly an angel and a blessing sent from God. I can never, ever thank you enough.

    -Daniel

    • Mom Theresa says:

      Daniel,

      Reading your story just made my heart break. I am so sorry not just for your experience but that you feel alone. I am so happy that you have found this site because now you don’t have one mom, you have many! And we are here to love and support to our heart’s maximum capacity. Cause you know what? You are perfect exactly the way that you are.
      Sending you BIG love and hugs!
      ~Mom Theresa

  141. Luce says:

    About some weeks ago, I built up the courage to come out to my family as a transgender male with the help of my counselor. After I did so, everyone was speechless until my mother spoke up and completely blew up on me saying that she knew that I was always messed up, that it’s all influence. Now I’m completely isolated from my family as an individual and I literally had no one to support me, but these letters… they help me quite a bit. And knowing that the holidays are around the corner, I have something to make me feel secure. I’m glad that this blog exists.

    • Lisa says:

      Oh Luce, I am SO SORRY that your family did not react in the way you were hoping they would. But you know what? I am SO SO SO proud of you for being true to who you are, and facing them with your truest self. You are so smart to have brought a counselor with you! I am so glad that you had them there during that truly difficult time. I hope you surround yourself with friends, and your counselor, that accept you for who you truly are… an awesome saucy human! Know that you are TRULY LOVED and accepted by all of us at Holiday Moms, and you can come by ANYTIME to get your love tanked filled! New letters will begin posting on November 26th!

      Love
      Mom Lisa

    • Shakia says:

      Hey Luce I am so sorry. I had a similar reaction when I came out to my parents and I don’t really like using labels but I guess you’d call me pansexual and my parents flipped out on me, my dad actually moved out a month later after blowing up on my transgender boyfriend, he called it inhuman. My mom is hoping I am just confused and disagrees. She barelly even talks to me, and we live in the same home! And this site has done nothing but help me out, I actually feel like someone cares about MW

    • Jennifer Fleming says:

      Hi Luce,
      Yeah, I know… That really sucks. I’ve lost family too. Well, your mom is WRONG! It might help your mind to realize that who you are is the result of how you formed as a fetus. We all begin as female embryos. After about 4 weeks, hormone generation begins. ALL of us have both estrogen and testosterone in our system and have had both since just a few weeks into gestation. DNA is like sheet music and the instruments in an orchestra. Our glands are the conductors and hormones are the musicians. REGARDLESS of whether we have XX or XY DNA, our brains and hypothalamus form according to the timing and amounts of hormones generated. Transgender brains and hypothalamus are structured very differently than typical male or typical female, based on plumbing installed.

      You can argue either that 1) God intended you to be the way you are, since God created the processes that make us who we are ,or 2) You were under the custody and care of your mother’s womb. Did she smoke, drink, get stressed out, get sick? Something caused your development to not be typical.

      In any event, you are YOU, who YOU were meant to be. Perhaps I can give you a little inspiration. I recently went into a professional recording studio to document part of my journey. The introduction. It is interesting. Then skip past the first speaker, if you wish. My segment starts at the 12 minute mark.

      https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=sH4ycp89ees&feature=youtu.be

      Love you Luce,
      Auntie Jen

  142. David Brown says:

    I recently came out as trans and my family constantly misgenders me and tells me that I’m going to die alone and unloved because no one could possibly love a transman. Reading your letters helped a lot last year when I had come out as Bi. I’m really looking forward to them this holiday season. Thank you for doing this. You guys are awesome.

    • Matalin says:

      Matti says:
      Okay, I’m not officially a mom yet, but I found something personal in what you sent. I just got out of a relationship with someone who is mtf and I’ve seen how difficult that can be in a way. I’m glad the letters helped you and I hope you remember that you’re very loved all year long, not just this holiday season!

      Love, (Soon To Be) Mom Matti

  143. Peg says:

    Well, this MOM loves you! Keep being yourself. You deserve to be loved and respected for you who are. I wish I could give you a real hug
    (( <3 ))

  144. Kayla says:

    I just wanted to say thank you for what you do. I’m 18 and recently came out to my parents, and for it I got an 8 hour lecture and sent to live with my grandparents up in Utah. My parents have said multiple times that they will withdraw support from me and my life if I continue to act on my feelings. Until yesterday, it didnt hit me. I could be completely alone. It freaked me out and I didn’t know what to do- my grandparents are going somewhere for Christmas, they were planning on sending me down to my parents, but now my parents might not let me come home..it’s a mess. I saw your blog promoted on instagram and I swear, it couldn’t have come at a better time for me. I’ve read through a lot of your letters and have spent a lot of my time crying because it just feels so nice to hear/read words of love and acceptance. So thank you. It might be hard for me this Christmas, but I know I can read your letters and feel less alone. <3

    • Mom Carin says:

      Darling Kayla

      Everyday starting Thanksgiving there will be a new letter for you to read. We will be thinking about you. Love you!!

      Mom Carin

  145. Elisabeth says:

    I cried so hard while reading your letters… thank you so much for what you do, thank you ! You are amazing persons

    • Shamama says:

      Hi Regan, I am sorry to say that we are not set up to do personal letters, but we are so glad you found us and hope these letters, even if public and to all, touch you deeply. We mean them so much from the heart!

  146. Matalin says:

    I will submit a letter ASAP! Thank you so much for letting me be a part of this! Can I also send questions about it through the email?

  147. Troye says:

    Hi holiday moms, or should I say mums since I’m in the UK?! I have been feeling so trapped, being the only FTM transgender in my school has been so sucky this year. I have been in a suicidal mind sight for a while now, and with my dysphoria getting worse and worse each day my suicidal thoughts do too. I just want to live the happy life I have wanted in the body I was meant to be in.

    Sometimes, I don’t even feel worth it. I just don’t know what to do… 🙁

    Troye

    • Shamama says:

      Oh Troye,
      I want you to call a crisis line in your area and just talk about your feelings. Know that we moms on Holiday Moms heap loads of love to you and accept you just as you are, but do reach out to a counsellor or crisis line if you are feeling like harming yourself. You are MORE THAN WORTH IT, and we love you!
      xo
      Mama Lisa

    • Tiffany says:

      Troye,
      You are worth it! Please find someone to confide in or a suicide prevention hotline. You’re meant for greatness!!! Please get some help.
      Sending my love.
      ❤️ Mama T

  148. Cianna says:

    Hi! My name is Cianna, and I’m a 14 year old pansexual female. Last year at Christmas I brought my girlfriend who was unfortunatly born a male.I received a lot of hate, and was treated differently then any other holiday. I fear what’ll happen this year, and my family is not that supportive.

    • Mom Theresa says:

      Hi Cianna!

      I’m so sorry that you had such a bad experience last holiday season, and that you received so much negativity and hate. Please know that even though we write open letters to touch as many souls and hearts as possible, all of us moms here really do love and support each and every one of you. If any one of us were to meet you in person we would wrap you up in the biggest hug ever.

      I hope that your holiday season is better this year. Please know all of us here are always here ready to give you big love. ♥

      ~Mom Theresa

  149. Nathan says:

    Hello!! Im an almost 17 year old who recently realized that im trans. This holiday season is gonna be full of people misgendering me and probably saying horrible homophobic and transphobic things without knowing (or caring) that im in both of those groups. I just wanted to say that these letters mean a lot, and the support that you all show is absolutely wonderful

    • Mom Theresa says:

      Nathan,

      Sending you big love and big hugs! I am so glad that you enjoy the letters. A fresh batch is coming out starting November 25th, so please check back for another dose of love and support. Because all of us here really do love and support you.

      ~Mom Theresa

  150. Reagan says:

    Hi there, I’m a fifteen year old nonbinary lesbian. It really warms my heart to know that there are people out there who do care, despite the atmosphere I’m currently trapped in. I don’t have much to say except thank you. Thank you for caring.

    • Shamama says:

      Hi Reagan!
      We are so thrilled that you found us, and know that all of us moms DO care and send you HEAPS of love! xo

      Mom Lisa

  151. Daisuke says:

    I’m 15, and I recently came out to my mom as being transgender. She didn’t really say anything except for a text where she said she supported me.
    She never asked about what I would be comfortable with, or what would make me more comfortable. I came to believe she didn’t believe me and was just saying she supported me when she didn’t. She still refers to me as a girl.
    With this website (Which I saw from tumblr) I really appreciate the meaning behind it, and how it supports those who are LGBTQ+ and not accepted even by their own families. I love this page

    • Mom Theresa says:

      Hi Daisuke,

      When people (especially people as important as our own parents) don’t ask or seem to take interest in a part of our lives that is so important to us, it hurts and it may feel like we aren’t being supported. I am so sorry that you are feeling that way.

      You are very supported and loved right here! In fact, I’m sending you a big squishy hug right now. ♥

      Much love!

      Mom Theresa

  152. Elise says:

    I’m so glad that I stumbled across this, albeit one year after the rest of the letters were posted. My mom and dad thought I was a lesbian at 16 (they were half-right, I’m bisexual, but didn’t tell them either way), and they said that if I ever came out to them as bisexual or lesbian, they would kick me out of the house and disown me. I’m 22 now and still cannot tell them the truth in fear that I will be neglected by the two people who are supposed to love me the most.
    But these letters and the wonderful women who write them give me hope. Thank you all. <3

    • Charmy says:

      Elise ,

      We are so glad you are here. There is always hope and you are always accepted in this safe place. Everyday you wake up and live is a day you are so brave and a blessing to this earth. Keep shining ! Holiday Mom- Charmy

    • Mom Theresa says:

      Elise,

      I just had to comment here as well because your story really spoke to me. When I was exactly your age, I was disowned by my parents for holding beliefs that were different from their own. I’ll be honest – it was a really painful time in my life. And I am so sorry that your parents are threatening you with disowning you. I hope that when and if you are able to express who you are, that their hearts won’t allow them to go that route.

      But please know that whatever does happen, you are loved, supported, and accepted exactly as you are right here. Yes, we write open letters to try to touch as many people as we can, but we do care about each individual that visits us very much.

      I’m so happy that these letters have given you hope. Check back for the fresh batch this holiday season is rolling out!

      Much love to you!

      ~Mom Theresa

  153. Melynda says:

    I recently told my dad about me being a lesbian. He said it was a choice I made, but he was upset. I’m afraid to tell my mum because she already kind of saw it..I just don’t think I can tell her. The letters here make me so much happier. I feel so at ease about myself because of this. My sister let me know of this website a couple days ago and I’m so glad she did.

    • Mom Theresa says:

      Hi Melynda!

      I’m so sorry that you had a negative experience revealing who you are to your dad. I’m so sorry, too, that the experience is making you fearful to talk to your mom.

      I am so happy that your sister told you about this site and that you have found comfort here. Please know that no matter what, the moms here will always support you.

      Wrapping you up in a hug right now! ♥

      ~Mom Theresa

  154. Natasha Taylor says:

    I just recently became aware of this when a friend showed me a post about it on Tumblr. I searched and began to feel such an immense sense of joy. This is such a beautiful thing, to just simply let people know that they are not alone, that somewhere someone cares, esp. in the holiday season. I am not a member of the LGBTQ community, although I am a huge supporter, and I just wanted to take the time to say thank you to everyone who is a part of this. I understand what it is like to feel alone, or for everyone to reject you in some way, as my family did when I revealed that am Atheist. I received everything from sympathy cards, to prayers, to eternal hell threats…which I am sure the LGBTQ community members can relate to. It is this type of devoted kindness that restores my faith in humanity. Thank you so much for being so self-less!

    • Mom Theresa says:

      Hi Natasha Taylor!

      Thank you so much for taking the time to share your thoughts and for the kind words. I think I can speak for all the moms who do this and say that we are not only happy to give a little bit of our time and a whole lot of our love, but we are honored to do it.

      I also wanted to say that I can relate to your story, and that was a big reason that I wanted to reach out and do this. I had been disowned for holding religious beliefs that differed from my family’s. We had reconciled a very long time ago, but unfortunately even in that reconciliation I had to be the person that bent and changed.

      I applaud you for sticking to your authentic self and not letting all of the pressure you are receiving sway you from who you truly are. That is honestly one of the toughest things to do in life.

      Thank you again for the kind words! They mean a lot to us.

      ~Mom Theresa ♥

  155. Jennifer says:

    I recently found this website through a post on tumblr and I love it. I’m a lesbian and I’m closeted to most of my family and I plan to stay that way until I can support myself properly. my mother has stated numerous times that she’ll disown me and kick me out of the house if I’m gay and that she hates all gay people. a lot of my family is also mainly Christian and Catholic and believe homosexuality is wrong. it’s really tough to have to deal with and I admit in past years I struggled with severe depression, anxiety, and suicidal tendencies/thoughts over it.

    this site and it’s whole idea is amazing and I love it. it’s so helpful and a great support system for lgbtq+ youth to turn to during one of the hardest times of the year.

    • Shamama says:

      Hi Jennifer,
      We are so happy you found us! Know that our moms are always here to give you love and support when you need it, and especially during the holidays! Know that we are all sending you as much love and light as you can hold in your beautiful heart, dear one.

      New letters will begin posting on November 27th, so be sure to pop back then throughout the holidays to get your love tank filled, okay?

      Hugs to you!
      Mom Lisa

  156. Dustin Alexander says:

    I am in a home where I cannot come out and forced to keep quiet until I am finished with college since my parents are paying and I live with my aunt/uncle who all hate transgender people. I am trans*male and I love these letters, they are great.

    • Shamama says:

      Hi Dustin,
      I am so sorry that you are not able to come out and feel safe to be who you are. Much love, and we hope that you will come back often to get your love tank filled by your Holiday Moms!

      xo
      Mom Lisa

  157. claudia says:

    I was just wondering if you’re doing this for this upcoming season. I’m having a really hard time at home with my mom, as I recently came out as Lesbian. She deleted my girlfriends phone number and forbade me from talking to her (don’t worry though, I still do). A holiday mom is someone I’m really gonna need to have this coming season, considering I’ve hit rock bottom. My friends are great and supportive, but I just need a motherly figure that loves and accepts me, and I need to be told that soon because life is sucking right now. Thank you all for being wonderful people and way better than my own mother, your families are so lucky to have you.

    • Shamama says:

      Hi Claudia,
      We definitely are doing it for this season, and we are so glad that you found us. A new batch of love letters will start being posted on November 27th, so be sure to come back and get your love tank filled. In the meantime, know that us moms send you tons of love and hugs right now, and you can be sure that there will be plenty of Holiday Moms to lift your spirit and fill your heart for this coming season.
      Hugs!
      Mom Lisa
      Letter Co-ordinator

  158. Amanda says:

    Hi there! What a beautiful project. I’m a mother and would love to help should you need a letter writer. I am a child advocate and have lots of love to spread. Peace and love to all involved <3

  159. Liam says:

    im 21 and i am transgender and pansexual. my family is very closed minded that when they found out i was pansexual at the age of 16 they rejected the idea and made me break up with my girlfriend at the time and told me that they will not let me be that way. recently i have came out to my friends that i am also transgender and they have all accepted me with open arms. its nice but i just wish i could have the same support i have with my family as i do with my friends. most of my friends are online so when we stop talking i just kind of sit by myself in my room because if i go out into the living room i have to pretend to be someone im not. this is a amazing website and service you offer i read some of the letters on the main page its really heart warming to see such loving and kind moms and family members that are so accepting. this really helps me in my situation and i really just want to say from the bottom of my heart. thank you

    • Mom Carin says:

      Liam, while it is difficult for some people to accept anything outside of what they grew up with and were trained to accept, there are those of us who love you for who you are. A wonderful spark in this world. Perhaps someday your family will open up. Until then, know you are loved and appreciated for all that is you.

  160. Josephine says:

    Just wanted to say what you’re doing here is so beautiful I am blown away. Thank you so much for the unconditional love and support you have shown to everybody! It’s people like yourself with these wonderful ideas and actions that help me to stay positive! Finding this website truly warmed my heart and made my day!

    • Mom Carin says:

      Josephine,

      Thank you for your lovely note. Making you smile, and sharing love is why we are here.

      *HUGS*
      Mom Carin

  161. William says:

    I am in awe of this website.

    I’m kind of a bundle here. I’m FTM transgender, aromantic, and asexual. My family ignores every bit of that and uses my birth name and wrong pronouns constantly. I’m on the other side of the country so I don’t deal with it too often, but whenever I talk to them, I do.

    Which is why I pretty much don’t have that family. Nobody will accept me (they’re all southern and kind of close minded). It’s pretty okay most of the year but I find the holidays are kind of hard, since they are based around family.

    What I wanted to say though, is you’re all wonderful people for making and contributing to this website.

    • Mom Carin says:

      William;

      Websters dictionary may define family as a group of people with a genetic link. Our family?? Our family is defined by the heart link. Commitment to each other and accepting of who each unique individual is. Spend as much time with your heart family as you can and enjoy the holidays!!

      Much love!
      Mom Carin

      • William says:

        Thank you for replying to this! It means a lot. Especially since shortly after posting this, my little sister advised me that my mom told her that since she now has step siblings, she has a better “sister” than me and one that “doesn’t think she is a he.”

        So needless to say it’s been slightly rough. Thank you all for being so wonderful.

  162. Andy says:

    I came out to my mom as bisexual over half a year ago, and she knows I’m mostly attracted to girls( I call myself a lesbian sometimes) but every time the topic of a boyfriend or marriage comes up(whether it be my sister talking about a boy in her class or my friend talking about their boyfriend), my parents kind of use that to teach me a “life-lesson” and repeat to me “…and thats why you have to marry the right guy!” And “marry a guy! They make more money than women do and I think you would appreciate that more!” And I continuously tell them that I like girls and I haven’t had a crush on a boy for three years, but they just shake their heads and say “you’re too young to understand” and I really hate it. My little sister also told her entire grade I was a lesbian, which did not go well for me, considering the fact that all those kids look up to me, and their older siblings are in my school. Could I possibly have some advice on how to cope with this?

    • Mom Carin says:

      Hey Andy!

      Goodness darlin, I would love to give you a big hug right now and tell you that things will be OK in time. When you are in the middle of things it is difficult to see when they won’t be difficult. Truth is, we really can’t give out advice, all advice can be dangerous out of context, all we can do is support you. Love you from here and share the hope that people do understand and they do accept. Some it just takes longer.

      Much love to you
      Mom Cari

  163. Erin says:

    I’m working on coming out to my parents but I’m bloody terrified – mostly because I’ve had a girlfriend for over a year and they have no idea. Right now, seeing all of these letters and all of the supportive parents out there is really helping me both build up the courage and to realize that it’s okay if they react badly because there are awesome people out there anyway. Thank you

    • Mom Carin says:

      Hi Erin!

      It is hard to say how your family will react but I will share a short story with you. I have a friend who’s brother finally ‘came out’ to his family. He was quite surprised to find out that the whole family knew and were just waiting for him to come to terms with it himself. There was no acceptance to be had because he was still the same person he was 5 min before he came out of the closet. He just felt freer. I hope and pray that your family sees and accepts you as you are. Complete and wonderful.

      Mom Carin

  164. Tammy says:

    Hi!
    The 2015 holiday season is approaching…I’m a mom (who happens to be bi) and I’d love to write letters to someone. Are you accepting new parents this year??

    <3
    Tammy

  165. Glenn says:

    I recently told my mom that I’m nonbinary. My mom is okay with it and is slowly learning my correct pronouns (they/them, he/him) but I’m not allowed to tell anyone else. Everyone else would react badly and even my stepmother won’t accept me for me… if hurts since my mom always wants me to be me but she’s the one telling me to hide who I am….

    • Mom Theresa says:

      Hi Glenn,

      I am so sorry to hear that you are hurting. I can’t speak for your mom, but the Mama Bear inside of me wants to wrap you up in a hug and also keep you protected from judgement. I wonder if that is why your mom is telling you to hide who you are?

      Regardless of the motives behind it, it is really hard to hide who you are. I am so glad that you found us here, because you can always be openly exactly who you are with all of us moms here. We all love and accept you just as you are.

      Big hugs!

      ~Mom Theresa

  166. Cal says:

    I just really want to say thank you for having this. I came out to my family about two years ago, but have yet (and doubt I ever will) tell them about my genderfluidity. It was not a warm welcome. They had said they would tolerate my bringing a girl home, but I never did because I knew it would not go well.
    When my church found out I was pansexual, they removed me from the choir. I can’t say it would bother most people, but singing is the one way I really feel connected to God, like He does hear me, and they stripped it from me.
    My parents did nothing. Agreed with the pastor that I could come back when I ‘turned’ straight again. I’m ashamed to admit, I lied to them a few weeks later and said I did. I couldn’t handle the scornful looks and messages directed at me. Even still, I can’t sing. It feels wrong to return when I lied.
    But it breaks my heart that they did nothing. They always say they love me and want what’s best for me, but they never supported me when I really needed it. My dad still makes jokes like ‘Silly faggot, dicks are for chicks!’ Even though he knows they tick me off
    But these letters make me feel a little more loved, like I have an escape when my family rejects me. I want to thank God for you all, because you are truly a blessing ♡

    • Charmy says:

      Hi Cal, I am overjoyed you have found us !! You are a wonderful human being just as you are – and I am so sorry you have had to experience that amount of pain and sadness. Continue to sing – make your heart happy. And come back to read the Holiday mom letters that will be posted – I hope you connect with one or a few and keep it handy for those tough days to know there is someone in your corner. You are courageous and strong. Much love sent to you !!! Holiday Mom Charmy

  167. April says:

    Hi there!
    I found this website last year when things for me where in a rather different place. Reading the messages on the bulletin, it didn’t matter as much that I didn’t have a mom anymore, because there where so many other moms out there who accepted me without even knowing me. I think that’s the best part, the moms on this website may not understand, but they sure as hell accept. I wanted to let you all know what this website meant to me a year ago, how you have helped me; but I just don’t have the words to express that. When I was 15 when I was kicked out by my parents, I was left on the side of the road in the middle of the night and told to “go play in traffic” by my own parents. When I think of that cold night last December, it makes me sad. And it makes me even sadder to think that I almost did decide to end my life that night. I may never have their acceptance, but that’s okay, I don’t really want it anymore because of things like this website. I can see the world changing, and that gives me hope. Thank you so much.

    • Mom Carin says:

      April

      Oh my goodness, you are such an awesome person! What a beautiful continuation to a life story. Really, you have come so far and to know that you are out there sharing your love and light daily is beautiful. Note that I have not used the words beginning or end in my comments because life is a winding road that will take you fabulous places if you let it. You have seen some ugly things on this road and kept on walking to get to a better place. Good for you ! Keep on going and sharing your light and love.

      Mom Carin

    • Marni says:

      Oh, April … I am so sorry about how things were left with your parents, but I am soooooo happy that you didn’t make the decision to end things that night. You are here, you matter, you are needed and you are loved for exactly who you are. So glad you found us last year and hope you will stick around to bask in the love this year!
      Big hugs,
      Mom Marni

  168. Skye says:

    Hey so following a lot of not super great conversations with my dad, I had no choice but too come out, and I knew my parents wouldnt take it well but they took it even worse than I thought, so im probably gonna be spending most of the holiday season alone in my apartment, I found this site the same day I came out and I am so glad I did because this season will be hard without my moms support

    • Mom Carin says:

      Skye,

      Darling you are not alone, you are loved, even from afar. Talk to your friends who really know you, see about being involved in and create new holiday traditions and share your time and love with those around you.

      Much love
      Mom Carin

    • Marni says:

      Bless you, Skye… We’re so glad you found us when you did. Please do stick around – there will be plenty of love flowing here from all of the holiday moms!
      Big hugs,
      Mom Marni

  169. Airyu says:

    Hi! Are you taking sibling letters for the holiday season? I would love to submit one! Either way, thank you for making this amazing project, and happy holiday season~

    • Shamama says:

      Hi Airyu! We are only focusing on “moms” this year, but if you would like to submit as a “mom” you certainly can do that! Let me know! You can email me, Lisa, at [email protected]

  170. Helena says:

    I just came out to my mom as a trans boy and she didn’t think much of it intill I walked into the room and said ” I think I would be a handsome boy ” and as I said that she stopped what she was doing and she looked at me and asked if I was serious about transitioning I told her that I would wait six months and see how I feel but even though I said that she still started judging me for everything that might happen during transitioning. I won’t look the same or even have my own kids and even though I’ve already thought about all those things and accept myself for them now I’m just second guessing everything that I thought I was figuring out about myself

    • Marni says:

      Dear One … I can’t even begin to imagine what it’s like being in your and your mom’s shoes. It’s such a tough time with so much to think about and figure out. And sometimes parents react out of fear concerning the fact that they won’t be able to protect you. I hope your mom will continue to have open conversations with you and simply support you in making your own decisions. Stick around for the holiday season – there will be so many wonderful letters filled with love and acceptance coming soon!! Big hugs ~ Mom Marni

  171. Makenna says:

    my aunt and uncle are like parents to me, and their kids are like my sisters. Once I came out, I wasn’t allowed to see them anymore. The holidays aren’t the best because at the parties, the oldest always comes up to me and hugs me and sits with me, but her mom always calls her away before she can even wrap her arms around my legs. I’m not supposed to take pictures with them, or mention that I’m a lesbian or gender fluid, I’m not supposed to ask them to take a picture, and I can’t see them or anything for longer than three minutes without their mom getting upset. I always sneak away and cry in the bathroom and no one but the oldest daughter notices. It’s hard not to be around them. Everyone else in the family kind of ignores how they treat me and just pretend that we’re a happy, fully heterosexual family.

    • Marni says:

      Dear Makenna ….I’m so sorry that things are so tough for you in your family. I hope you will subscribe to the website and stay with us to read all of the amazing letters from this year’s awesome mom throughout the upcoming holiday season. Sending a big hugs and lots of love!!!
      Mom Marni

  172. Seth says:

    Hey, I’m a 22 year old transgender (female to male). And I only recently came out earlier in the late summer/early fall. I had been out before then for two years to select individuals (one of which being my girlfriend).

    I have recently tried to come out to my family, and though no fights ensued or open judgement my family has more or less just ‘passed it off’ as a phase without really saying so. I mean that they still call me a she and ‘Kailynn’ even though I am not comfortable with it. It does not help I have been on my own since i was 17. So I have not been near my small family consisting of grandparents, uncles, aunts and cousins.

    I never had the chance to come out to my mother because she died in September last year (2014). We did not always get along and I left home for various reasons but we still loved each other and it has broken my heard to not be able to come out to her and I still wonder today what she would have thought or felt about the whole matter. I am spending my second set of holidays without her this year and the rest of my family. I have not had family to spend holidays with since I was 17.

    I have recently been evicted from where I live and shall basically be living on the road for the rest of this year and through the holidays. My girlfriend showed me this site and it made me smile, so thank you all for giving me a much needed smile this year <3

    • Marni says:

      Hi Seth,
      First of all, I am so sorry that you lost your mom. That had to have been so difficult. I hope you will subscribe to new posts from YHM and stick around for the upcoming holiday season. There will be lots of love spreading across the internet!! In the meantime, I encourage you to check out some of the letters from years past.
      Big, big hugs!!
      Mom Marni

  173. Torichan says:

    I’m 16 and sometimes don’t feel like I’m welcome in my mother’s house. She treats the word ‘lesbian’ like a swear and never seems like she’s fully accepting of me. It kind of (really) hurts, but these letters are so sweet and they made me cry. Thank you.

    • Marni says:

      So glad you’re here, Torichan … welcome! Stay tuned for more letters toward the end of the month. xoxoxo
      Mom Marni

  174. Tiffany says:

    If you are looking for new submissions this coming holiday season, I would love to be apart of this project! I am a 26 year old bisexual mom to a 2 year old. I heard about this project last year, and I really appreciate what you and the other moms are doing 🙂 Thanks!

  175. Jazmin says:

    Dear moms

    Thank you SO much for this site, iv attempted to come out to my family many times,but each time iv been denied, i wish i could explain what pansexuality means, but nobody wants to hear it, and thanks to a awful addition to the family they started to hate me for this, im hopeing theres somone i can talk to…thank you so much…

    • Marni says:

      Hi Jazmin,
      I’m so glad you have found YHM. I’m sorry your family has yet to give you the chance to be who you are. We welcome you with open arms. Please stay tuned for this year’s letters in a few weeks. In the meantime, feel free to check out some of the letters from years past.
      Much love to you!!!
      Mom Marni

  176. Chelsea says:

    Hi! I found this site last Christmas and it gave me the courage to come out to my own mom. She’s been very supportive of me, and I can honestly say that I am so truly blessed to have her. I just noticed that there are sibling and friend categories on here! That’s a wonderful addition and I was wondering if I (a 20y/o) can submit a sibling letter for the upcoming 2015 holiday season, or if you were strictly looking to have more adult women submit to your site. I do hope that this is all still getting a lot of activity! It’s such a valuable resource for LGBTQIA+ youth who need some support and love during this emotional time of year.

    • Marni says:

      Hi Chelsea! Welcome back! I’m so happy to hear how things progressed for you after finding YHM last year!! Wonderful!! You can always send an email to Lisa, the site administrator, at [email protected] to see where she’s at with letters for this season.
      Much love to you!
      Mom Marni

  177. Myraha says:

    I am 16 and have recently came out as a Lesbian to my family. No one really seemed to care except my mom but not in a good way. She keeps trying to tell me its just a phase and I will marry a guy one day and have kids with him. Its hard not really having anyone to support me at home. I found this website a few days ago and I love reading the letters it makes me feel supported, So I wanted to Thank You for this website it warms my heart.

  178. Ginger says:

    My mother doesn’t believe in aromantism and often says I haven’t found the right person yet when I mention it which says makes me really sad. If any of you could perhaps make a audio letter saying you accept me being aromantic and asexual, I think I might cry tears of joy. Thank you for making this wonderful place

    • Jude says:

      Hi! I’m Jude. I’m asexual and gray romantic. I just wanted to tell you that your orientation is 100% valid, because ace aros are completely awesome. If you want to talk or anything, my tumblr is petrichor-and-the-last-centurion.tumblr.com

    • Amanda says:

      Hi Ginger,

      I am so sorry that things weren’t accepted in the way you had hoped. But I am so proud of you for knowing who you are and sticking by yourself. Aromanticism and asexuality are very valid and real.Some people enjoy things differently, and that’s okay! I wish I could give you the love you deserve, but I hope a stranger on the internet can help, even just a little bit. Hugs xoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxo.

      Amanda

    • Evren says:

      I know I’m not one of the mods, or even an adult, but I just wanted to say something, in case none of them saw it or you never got a response.

      You are completely valid. Only you know your sexuality and romantic orientation and no one can take that away from you. Being aromantic, being asexual, both are awesome and an important part of you. You are amazing, and you and your sexuality are worth loving. <3

  179. MaryLouise Sparrow says:

    Hi there! My name is MaryLouise and I am president of a Gay-Straight Alliance at a small girls school in Baltimore, Maryland. We were hoping that as a club activity we might work on some holiday letters from friends. We love your website so much and would love to participate. Would our letters be helpful? If so, how should we submit? Thank you!
    ML Sparrow

  180. L_Val says:

    This is so amazing; I came across through tumblr and I’m so glad I did. During the first letter that I listened to I started crying and realized how much I really needed to hear these things from someone…means so much.

  181. Marcela Hungaro says:

    This is the most amazing thing. Thank you all. Moms or people responsible for this website. This is so positive and I hope it helps the ones who don’t get supported enough. Y’all have an amazing view on parenting and humanity.
    Definitely sharing this to all my followers/friends or whoever may see this.

  182. Hestia says:

    What a wonderful idea, even if the fact that it is needed in the first place is a tragedy.

    Do you only do this inside of the US? Do you plan to breach out? I am asking because I am from Germany – luckily without any unaccepting family/friends, but I know that there are a lot of people here, too, who would benefit from it.

    • Shamama says:

      Hi Hestia!
      These letters are not physical ones mailed via post. They are all posted on this website so that everyone around the world who needs them can read them! So, yes, please share this website widely with anyone you think might need some extra love today and everyday!

      Mama Lisa

  183. Peg says:

    Shamama,
    I was devastated by a story of a young lady who killed herself this holiday season.

    My 19 year old daughter and I talked about it and she told me of this website. She said that I should join and write letters of support.

    My initial response was sadness.

    It saddened me to think that I may be able to have an impact on a young life and didn’t know it; but there was a deeper sadness ~ a tearful sadness when I thought about all the young men and women out there that are not supported for who they are.

    It would be my honor and privilege to join you with your project to give my love and support to the young men and women who need a safe place, not just at the holidays but year round.

    • Marni says:

      Hi Peg,
      I’m sorry that we missed this comment at the end of the season last year. If you’re still interested in writing a letter for this year you can write to Lisa at [email protected] for more information. Love to you!
      Marni

  184. Rachel says:

    I love what you are doing here. everyone needs someone to lean on when they get kicked to the curb.

    I identify as bisexual and have yet come out to my parents. I’m afraid that they will hate me forever,i just was wondering when the good time to tell them would be? it would be great if you could help me out here, please. If you busy don’t worry about it I will figure it out on my own.

    • Shamama says:

      HI Rachel, It’s hard to say anything specific about your situation but just know that you have love and encouragement coming from all these moms, no matter what you decide. We are with you in spirit and send love across the miles! Really…. you are great as you are and I hope your parents can see that. We do! Hugs, Shamama

  185. Rachel says:

    I love what you are doing here. everyone needs someone to lean on when they get kicked to the curb.

    I identify as bisexual and have yet come out to my parents. I’m afraid that they will hate me forever,i just was wondering when the good time to tell them would be? it would be great if you could help me out here, please. if you busy don’t worry about it.

  186. Emily says:

    i stumbled across you guys by accident a few nights ago and i’ve been reading the letters that have been written – thank you. thank you to all of you, thank you so much for spending your time and effort on a project like this. thank you for giving lgbtqa+ kids as much comfort as you can through limited means.

    i identify as bisexual and thankfully both my parents are incredibly accepting of that, but i know what other people can and do go through. a negative sentence can have so much effect, and positive letters like yours can do so much good.

    there’s something about people being lovely which makes me cry, not gonna lie. so thank you again. thank you for caring.

    • Shamama says:

      Good tears! That is wonderful Emily! I am so glad you are accepted and thank you for sharing us with others who need us… that is why we are here. Love, Shamama

  187. Emily says:

    As a nonbinary trans kid–genderfluid, to be exact–I’d thought it would be easier for me since my family is fairly open-minded and we are Buddhist, which has no objections to queer kids like me. But even though my mom actively tries to refer to me in gender-neutral pronouns, my dad and sister still call me daughter and sister. Most of my relatives either don’t know or never bothered to check and still call me niece and a girl, as do most others who are unaware of my transition at school. Unfortunately, while I am sure mot would gladly accept my gender, I live in a highly conservative town and I am fully aware of dangerous individuals who would inflict harm on me if they were aware of my true identity.

    I don’t know what to do about my name, either. My name is feminine and while I sometimes feel comfortable with it, other times I wish it were something else. I don’t want to change my name every time my orientation shifts, but while I like the idea of a gender-fluid name like Alex or Bailey, I can’t quite seem to let go of my given name, even though I don’t feel comfortable with it most of the time.

    Thank you for the support. It means a lot to know I have people who are so dedicated to making sure I know that someone is listening to me–the real me.

    • Shamama says:

      YES, the real you Emily… that is who we send these letters out to. Alex or Bailey as well… we will honor whatever you choose to name yourself. Wouldn’t it be great if we all could name ourselves early on? I would love to see that world! Hugs to you, Shamama

  188. Rueben says:

    Hey, this is probably not the place to ask, but how would i get in touch to have a holiday mom? I’ve just tried coming out to my mum as a transboy and things have done horribly wrong (I don’t know what i was expecting, they didn’t like me being Pansexual why would she like this?) and am in a lot of need of a supportive family

    • Lisa says:

      Hi Rueben, so happy you found us! Our letters are posted to the website everyday so that everyone can read them and feel the love poured out to YOU this holiday season! I am so sorry that coming out has not gone well for you, know that you can come here anytime and read and comment on any letter, our moms love to reply with even more love and support! I for one am reaching out to you with a GIANT HUG. Can you feel that? You are very brave to come out and express exactly who you are. Beautiful wonderful you. SO PROUD OF YOU, Rueben!!! xoxoxo

    • Leslie says:

      Oh honey. I’m so sorry to hear this. As the mother of a pansexual daughter and a bisexual son, I can tell you that, as a mother, I applaud your bravery and courage. It must be hard to not have someone there to hug you and tell you things will be okay so, I’m here, waiting to give you a big hug and tell you that you’re perfect just the way you are. You’re wonderful and any mother should be happy and proud to have you as their child. I know I would. So, here’s some hug and love from one mother and I know you’ll find more around here to hug you as well.

  189. scout says:

    hi- ive been reading this a lot recently, since when i came out as agender my mum didnt really accept me for it and refused to let me get a binder since she said it was a medieval torture device” (even though i wear corsets sometimes?? weird) and that i didnt know what i was talking about. im 14- uh, 15. its only been two weeks, not used to being an OLD PERSON. no offence. i think wrinkles are great, especially if you get wrinkles when you’re 35 because you smiled so much. i hope to get that when im older. 8)

    anway. today, on the last day of 2014 (six hours left til next year!), mum agreed to let me get my binder. im so happy i can finally be myself, since im pretty chesty for a small person. excited for the new year!!! i wouldnt have kept my head up without reading your beautiful letters. thanks, all of you <3333

    • Lisa says:

      Awww.. Scout, I loved your comment! It brought a huge smile to my face. I’m so happy that you found us, and even more happy that your mom said “yes” to your binder (yay!) and that that is clearly a positive sign that she is getting closer to accepting you 100% for the amazing and beautiful son that you are!

      I send you the biggest hugs and even more love and support, Scout! Come back anytime you need an extra boost of that, okay? xoxox

      Mom Lisa

  190. cheyenne says:

    i have been crying all night reading these beautiful letters. i hope all LGBTQ people without a supportive or available family could read these over the holidays. thank you and happy holidays 🙂 x

    • Lisa says:

      Aww.. Cheyanne, I am the letter co-ordinator and editor here, and a holiday mom myself, and for sure I have cried many many many tears as well! Glad you found us! xo

  191. Meg J says:

    This is the most wonderful and necessary thing I have seen in a long time. I had been subject to physical and verbal abuse by my parents when I came out and rarely had a shoulder to cry on or a tear left to cry…thank you so much for this site. I hope you help someone smile today and feel warmth and love in their hearts… <3

    • Lisa says:

      Hi Meg!
      So happy that you are here! I am so sorry that you have had such awful treatment from your parents…. I hope that in time they come around and learn to accept you for the amazing human being you are! I accept and love you 100%, and send you heaps of love today and always. xox
      Mama Lisa

  192. Michael says:

    As a 16 year old trans boy I just want to say thank you. This is so beautiful I keep tearing up as I read these and it means so much that people can be so kind and so amazing. thank you, thank you all so much.

    • Lisa says:

      HI Michael, so happy you found us! And that is exactly why we are all here, to fill you with love and acceptance today and always!
      Sending you tons of love and the most awesome stuff ever! xoxo
      Love
      Mama Lisa

  193. Nick says:

    This website is so beautiful and so needed, thank you so much for being so accepting and giving me sone faith in people again… this made me cry good tears, and thats hard for me to admit cause im supposed to be manly :p
    Happy holidays from an 18 year old FTM guy in the UK

    • Lisa says:

      Hey Nick!
      You made me smile! Welcome, welcome! And yes, that is exactly why us moms are all here to pour lots of love and support to YOU! If you were here I would give you a GIANT HUG and wish you the HAPPIEST NEW YEAR and only beautiful things for 2015. Come back anytime when you need an extra boost of love and hugs! xox
      Love
      Mama Lisa

  194. Loren says:

    This means the world to me since I have not outed to my family yet. I hope you all have wonderful holidays and even better years to come

    • Lisa says:

      Hi Loren!
      I am so happy you found us, especially because you have not come out yet. This is a SAFE PLACE for you to come and talk and reach out to all of us moms here. I give you love and courage and ACCEPTANCE of exactly who you are. Come back anytime you need a boost of hugs and love1
      LOVE
      Mama Lisa

  195. Natalia says:

    Thank you so much to everyone who wrote here. I will be reading each letter until the tears dry up. I mom has known I was lesbian since the age of 16 and since she hasn’t stopped to change me. Is not like I am not feminine (even if I wasn’t she should accept me) but she hurts me emotionally like “wish you were never born” “your going to hell” “people like that die in drugs” and so on. So I left to live in my car at the age of 22. I finally confronted my dad because he was living in denial at the age of 23 and what can I say, I am not allowed to step back home ever. Ever since I haven’t talk to my dad since and my mom we talk rarely. I don’t live in a car anymore but with my fiance who leaves me every holiday to see her family on the east coast. I have friends who invite me to spend their holidays with and as much as I love them for doing that, it is just not the same. I grew up in a very close happy family, I just can’t get over at how a loving family can turn their back to a member of the family for something so insignificant. I even finish my degree and I thought I was going to make mom and dad proud but no one showed up. So ALL the MOMS who wrote here thank you for the bottom of my heart. It means the world to people rejected like me,. God bless

    • Lisa says:

      Natalia,
      I am so sorry that your parents say such things to you, I can’t imagine how that must feel. I am proud of you for being who you are, and am so super glad that you found us moms! I am sending you a GIANT cyber hug, can you feel it? Know that you can come back here anytime and feel the hugs and love from all of us here. xoxo

  196. Ems says:

    Thank you so much for this amazing site. Being with people who refuse to let you live your truth while you are with them is so very lonely, but being able to read these and connect with so many beautiful people makes it more bearable. It is great to know there are so many incredible and accepting people out there, and I just wish those less accepting/homophobic parents that some of us are born to could know what it means to be a true parent, as those writing these letters have already figured out. Your families are blessed to have you, and we are blessed that you could open your heart and give us hope that someday we might find the kind of acceptance and love that you extend even to complete strangers. Your love and support from afar mean a lot during these particularly difficult times. Thank you.

    • Lisa says:

      Hello dear Ems,
      We are so glad that you found us! I am sorry that your parents are not accepting of who you are, but know that you can come back here anytime and dive into the love and acceptance in these letters! xoxo

    • Lisa says:

      Hi Britanny,
      What a wonderful lovely wife you are! You are both so blessed to have each other, and now you have us too! I am so glad that you found us, and know that I am personally sending your beautiful wife a ton of love and support today and always! xoxo

  197. Alice says:

    Hello Dear,

    I just found this amazing lovely website of yours – and now I’m crying. I know, not the best way to begin a comment, but I am so glad that there is someone who cares about the people who are left alone – especially at Christmas.
    I just had my 18th Birthday; it is my fourth lonely xmas year since I came out as a lesbian to my family and they brought me to go away from home. I wish I had ‘known’ you sooner – but anyway – thank you so much for doing this!! Your children are lucky 🙂

    Merry Christmas from Germany <3

    • Lisa says:

      Hello dear Alice!
      I am one of the moms here on this site, and I just wanted to say that I am super glad that you found us! I have been to Germany and it is beautiful, I bet at Christmas too. Know that you are in my heart today and always, and that tonight as I gaze at my tree, you will be there with me! You can come back anytime to read letters of love and acceptance from all of the moms here. Sending you a giant cyber hug! xoxo

  198. Armin says:

    I still have some questions. Am I too late to get involved in this? What only half of my family gives me trouble, but they’re the one I’m with? And do any of the families observe holidays other than Christmas? I’m nonbinary and while I’m out to my mom, I’m spending the holidays with my dad, who I’m not out to, and there are many reasons why that I’d rather not go into detail with. I would love to have someone for the last couple of days I have with them so I’m not hiding the WHOLE time, but am I too late? I’m Jewish, and I celebrate Chanukah, do any of the families do so as well? Thank you to anyone who can answer my questions.

    • Shamama says:

      Hello Armin, if you are here, you are involved. We simply write letters, publish them here, and hope you feel our love! We celebrate you in whatever ways you are, and however you celebrate, but there is not more to “do” than read the letters. Our little notes of love are what we hope can carry you through! Hugs, Shamama

      • Melissa says:

        Would you accept a holiday sister? I am a teenager and not a mom, but I would love to participate.

        • Shamama says:

          Hello Melissa… this year we are just doing moms, and we are full for the letters needed, but we are so glad to have you just comment and share, that is hugely helpful… and thank you!

  199. Everett says:

    These letters and words bring me close to tears in the best of ways. As a FtM teen who cant come out to anyone but close friends and my sister, I’ve still gotten backlash. The whole “You’ll always be a girl to me/I refuse to call you anything but your birth name” is very hard, but I so much look forward to reading these every day. It’s amazing to know that there are people so kind and supportive in spite of not even personally knowing barely anyone they are helping so very much. Everyone needs the chance to be loved and accepted, and while not everyone has this, a huge step is taken that direction everyday. May the holidays be good for everyone.

    • Shamama says:

      Hello dera Everett! I love my FtM kids… and now you are one! You tell me your name, and that’s it… your name! HUGS to you, Shamama

  200. Isabelle Smith says:

    Thank you for this website! I’m 14, female, and bisexual and my family ignores me and refuses to accept me, they think its evil and wrong to like a girl. I’ve had to ignore my feelings every time. Thank you for helping other people too! People need to know this is okay and awesome. 😀

    • Lisa says:

      Oh Isabelle,
      So happy you found us! I have a teenage daughter who came out as bisexual earlier this year when she was 14. I will tell you what I told her… I am so proud of you to know who you are, and want what every mother wants for their child, happiness and people in their lives who love them just for who they are! I send you much love and total acceptance today, and everyday, Isabelle! Come back here anytime and read the letters from the many moms who love and accept you too! xoxo

  201. Benton says:

    I am so grateful for this. There are so many people who need this. I am a pansexual genderfluid individual who is too afraid to come out. My family uses gay slurs, mean words, and calls anyone on television who is different from them mean names that I shall not repeat. I once mentioned to my grandmother that I liked male and female clothes and that I felt comfortable in both. She never said anything. But the mere mention of “that shirt is too girly” simply gets me a “well you are a girl” in return. I in fact am not a “girl”. I am genderfluid and avoid female pronouns.

    I don’t want to hide away anymore, but revealing who I am will have me shunned. It’s been 4 years since my mother passed away and I don’t know how to forgive myself for not telling her any of this before she left me. I know she would have accepted me.

    Thanks again for this blog. It’s great and deserves positive feedback!

    • Shamama says:

      Bless you dear Benton. What a difficult road to walk! I am sure your mother forgives you from her current perspective… we are all so much more open on the other side, at least that is what I feel. In the mean time, we moms are here for you. So much love to you, Shamama

  202. Iva says:

    Hi, I’m Iva, a 14 year old bisexual girl. I found this website a few days ago through tumblr and today I read all the letters that have been posted on here from extremly caring moms. I couln’t help but cry a little because I was overwelmed by how incredible this is… as a bi girl who has tried to come out to her parents a few times, I just want to tell you that you make a big difference in this conservative world… because yes, my parents are homophobic and every single time I’ve tried to come out as bi to them, my mom starts crying and screaming at me that I can not be bisexual… she yells things like “why can’t you be normal, why can’t you like only boys, what’s wrong with you, what has gotten into you”… and every time I tried to tell them, I could see the shame in my dad’s eyes, I could see how ashamed he is of having me as his daughter… I just wish they could accept me the way I am… because of them and their harsh comments, I am now ashamed of myself and of my sexuality as well, even though I now I shouldn’t be… anyway, I just wanted to tell you how grateful I am for all this love you are spreading in your letters… they make me feel accepted… thank you very much.

    • Shamama says:

      Oh dear Iva, we are not ashamed of you here. We think you are wonderful! You are accepted. I am sad that your parents can’t see it yet… but we do. LOVE from across the miles! Shamama

  203. Remy says:

    Thanks for all these letters, it’s nice to hear from people who are accepting and kind. Tried to talk to my parents two years ago about questioning my gender, have since discovered how very very transgender I am. Mom laughed–like haha, you’re funny, that’s amusing laughter–and said it was probably because of my antidepressants (….what??? WHAT??????) or the people I was hanging out with (never met a FtM transgender person in my life before myself to my knowledge but…okay?), the rest of my family just kind of stared at me and then said they were going to keep calling me by my legal name and I’m still their daughter/sister no matter what. Skipping out on extended family Christmas because of Thanksgiving being so hard for me. Read a few of these, cried a lot. Thank you all so much.

    • Shamama says:

      Bless you dear Remy! I am so glad you wrote. We are delighted to know you are here, are reading, and even crying! We laugh WITH you for the joy of being your true FTM self… never AT you. Reread our letters here this holiday when you feel low. That is what they are here for. xoxox, Shamama

  204. rikki says:

    Thank you for doing this. I am 30 years old. About 5 years ago, i met the woman i call my mom. She was the first person (in a mom mindset) to truly accept me for who i am. I have never had a father. My birth family is at arms length because its hard to let them in. They say they accept me but its hard so i stay at arms length. Reading this letters made me cry, i felt the love and acceptance through them and it is truly heart warming. I hope one day to have a family to call my own

    • Lisa says:

      Dear Rikki,
      I am so truly glad that you found us, welcome from all of us moms here… sending you loads of love today and everyday! So glad you have a mom to call your very own. xoxo

  205. Anonymous says:

    Thank you so much for making this blog. It’s an amazing and wonderful thing and it was a brilliant idea and I’m so happy I found it right now. I’m asexual and aromantic and I’m terrified to come out to my family–I’m scared they’ll hate me, or that they’ll brush it off as unimportant or illegitimate or tell me that I just am not old enough to decide yet and I don’t know if I can handle that kind of thing, especially because I hear several queer-phobic comments from them.
    So thanks for making this. I know it will help a ton of LGBT+ kids through the holidays, and it’s certainly going to help me.

    • Lisa says:

      Oh dear one,
      I am so proud of you for reaching out to us here! Know that you are truly not alone and I’m sending you a cyber hug right now, there, did you feel that? xoxox

  206. Shayne says:

    I am so glad I found this. I literally started crying when I read the letters. My own parents are very conservative and would probably kick me out if they found out I was trans (and ace). Reading this makes me feel like I honestly have a real, supportive family. Thank you so much.

  207. Emily says:

    I’m so happy I found this blog. I’m pansexual and I’m not sure if my parents accept me for it, but it’s so wonderful to see parents out there that accept kids like me. It’s nice to know that I’m not alone.

  208. Sabrina says:

    I’m not a lesbian. I’m a straight, middle age, middle class, middle of the road Mom of three kids. If any of my kids came out, we’d be cool as a family. I know this.

    My sister came out in 1989. My reaction was not perfect. I was 16. I had 99 things on my mind and 98 of them were myself. I distanced myself from my sister. I didn’t understand. This is not an excuse. This is just a fact.

    I began to come around when I saw how my mother reacted. My mother, who never batted an eyelash. My mother, who just showed the most amazing grace and understanding. My mother, who walked closer to Jesus, the good, accepting Jesus, not the one John Cusack describes as the gay hating tool of the right wing, closer than anyone I know.

    I know that if my Mum was still alive, she’d be writing beautiful letters to all these sweet people that need a holiday Mom. My mother modelled more love to my sister and her friends than most people during that time ever did. I will never ever forget it. She stood up and was counted as an early ally. That was huge in suburbia in the late 80’s. It’s pretty huge now, sad to say. Allies are needed everywhere.

    I think what you are doing with this site is amazing. Thank you for being a voice of love in the world.

  209. Scout says:

    Can I just say that I think it’s incredibly beautiful that you are doing this? I lost my mom this past year and she meant the entire world to me. I am so lucky that she came around before she passed. I am a crying snotty mess right now, but a project this powerful is bound to have that affect on people. Keep up the meaningful work.

    • Lisa says:

      Awww.. Scout, so happy that you are here! So sorry for the loss of your beloved mother, but I am very glad that she gave you what you needed before she passed. Sending you giant hugs and stuff! <3

  210. Caroline says:

    I just wanted to thank all of you moms, siblings, and friends for what you’re doing. The holidays have always been really rough for me ever since I tried to come out when I was 19. This year has been no exception.

    Even though I’ve never met any of you in person, reading your letters really does help me feel like I can have an accepting home somewhere. They brought me tears of joy and hope. Thank you and I hope that all of you have truly blessed Christmases/Holidays.

    • Shamama says:

      Bless you dear Caroline, we are so glad to be here. I’m sorry for your rough year… there are so many homes with a place for you at the table this year… virtual, true, but still, I hope you can feel it. Hugs! Shamama

  211. Adrian Sandersfeld says:

    I found this website via Tumblr and I’m so happy that I did. My mother thinks I’m bluffing when I tell her that I’m never going to talk to her or my family (aside from my younger brother) after I move out and start college. I am asexual and gender neutral and both of my parents treat me like garbage, especially in public. My mother has called me a tranny and has not helped me overcome my depression, either.

    Last year, I came out as asexual, gender neutral, and tried to kill myself three times in the span of four months because I couldn’t stand her shit anymore. However, she kissed up to the doctors that were talking to me on suicide watch for the few weeks I was hospitalized. She acted like she actually cared and, as soon as they would leave, she’d curse me out and tell me, “I wish you would have killed yourself, then I could remember you as my daughter and not as a tranny.”

    I’m happy to have found this site because the only person in my family who respects my pronouns and preferred name in full and helps tell others about my gender identity is my younger brother. I’m going to be moving into a college dorm in August 2015 and I’m very young for my grade. I only turned 17 two months ago and I’ll have to pay about $185 to petition for a name change after I turn 18. I’ve already told my mother that if she were to change it, it would only cost $5 and the name change would be immediate. However, she thinks I’m going to regret this since she apparently knows soooo many transgender people who regretted their name change. Upon asking her for the names of these people, she couldn’t even think of one.

    My parents are blatant liars and I’m sick of their crap. As my last holiday season before leaving them forever, I’m glad I don’t have to constantly feel like shit about their slurs.

    • Lisa says:

      Hi Adrian,
      I am sorry to hear that your are feeling so much like “garbage.” You deserve to be accepted and loved for exactly who you are! I am so happy that you have a wonderful younger brother who does just that. I am so glad you found us, and know that all of us Moms send you MUCH LOVE and ALL of the acceptance and celebration of you just as you are this holiday season AND EVERY DAY! Hugs times a million! xoxo

  212. Randi says:

    I found this place on Tumblr and i’m glad I did. I’m bisexual and I am also gender fluid. I have told my mother about me being bi but she doesn’t believe me and constantly has to put me down for it. Every time the subject is brought up she tells me that I’m not bi and i’m only saying I am because everyone around me is, but the thing is, is that have of my friends are straight. I know I have been attracted to both genders for a very long time but it’s my mother that I tried to tell myself that it was wrong and I shouldn’t have the feelings I do for the longest time. she won’t accept the fact that i’m the person I say I am. I’m to afraid to tell her i’m gender fluid because I know i’ll get the same response or worse.

    • Shamama says:

      We all accept you, Randi, for who you say you are… gender fluid is beautiful! I’m so glad you are with us. Really! Hugs, Shamama

  213. Sarah says:

    Holiday moms-
    I am so grateful to you for this project. I have had many strong instances of homophobic behavior in my household that made me afraid to come out, and when I finally did, things only got worse. Long talks where my father told me he pitied me for my bisexual orientation and both directly and indirectly told me I’m going to Hell have stunted my spiritual growth and made it hard for me to pursue relationships with people in real life without fear of judgment. I want to thank you so much for giving queer kids an opportunity to feel loved, if from afar, this season. You’re doing an amazing thing for people who really need it- me included, I think- and helping to foster a real sense of community. Happy holidays. x

    Sarah,
    20

    • Shamama says:

      Oh Sarah, I am so sorry you have had to endure this. THIS is hell for you right now. Just know we moms are here for this very reason, to be a respite from that negativity and pain. We welcome you with open arms! Hugs, Shamama

  214. Katy says:

    Holiday Moms:

    I’m 25, but this site has really touched me and I would like to thank each of you virtual moms. My own mother no longer speaks to me after I came out to my family last year. I grew up in a very conservative family and knew it would be difficult but really couldn’t have imagined the isolation, the letter from my mother telling me the stress I have caused her has been detrimental to her health and therefore she can no longer speak to me. Last Christmas season my father called and asked me not to return home for the holidays the day before my flight left. It has been difficult to not only initially weather the loss but to realize this will likely be the rest of my life now. I found this site through autostraddle.com and my girlfriend looked over to see me openly crying with gratitude today… your letters have genuinely touched my heart this holiday season and I cannot thank you enough.

    Warmly,
    Katy

    • Shamama says:

      Dearest Katy, I am so sorry your father does not see your real and true beauty. It is a shame… we do!! Now it is time to build the family of choice… many of us have had to do this over the years and while it is always painful, that is where the hope is. I am so glad you found us… and that your girlfriend is there for you. Hugs, Shamama

  215. Shelby Tomaszewski says:

    Hello my name is Shelby im 13 and I know im still quite young to know what sex im drawn to but im slowly planing to finaly tell my friends and family what i really am.Im just so scared.Right now when people ask me what i am i say im bi.My friends say that if im one of the two sides they’ll accpet me.But what if they only say that now and then push me away when i need comfort.Im just…so afraid to be left behind.How do I get rid of this mask i wear and feel free?I hope if i read one of these beautiful lettersi’ll know c:

    • Shamama says:

      Shelby, that is a huge question, but I am glad you asked! Many young people KNOW early on what sex they are, though that does not easy to share, and we mom-folks can be taken aback by it. But you are who you are! We cannot give advice, not knowing you more deeply, but please know that we are here loving and accepting you. You are beautiful no matter what sex is true for you! Love, Shamama

    • Ashe says:

      Hi, Shelby. I don’t know if it’s appropriate for me to be replying here or not, but I had to try.

      My name is Ashe. I’m 25. By the time I was 14 (after a couple of years of severe denial and self-hatred due to growing up in a very strict, traditional religious household), I finally came around to realizing I was attracted to more than one gender.

      I was just a year older than you are now! I first started questioning when I was 12, though.

      You are absolutely not “too young.” Please don’t let people tell you that. It is absolutely, 100% okay to question your orientation (or even gender identity) at ANY age. Everyone develops differently. Everyone has different experiences, and everyone leads different lives. What may not be true for one person may be true for you, y’know? And please don’t listen to people who tell you “it’s just a phase” and that you’ll “grow out of it.” Even if your orientation shifts or changes somewhere down the road (which is totally okay, and does sometimes happen–I went through a period a couple of years ago where I questioned /again/, and thought I might be gay before swinging back around to pan), right now, this is your identity. This is who you are, and this is what’s true for you.

      It is okay to be scared. It’s okay. It’s normal. This stuff is ridiculously scary–even in today’s modern world. It’s arguably even harder for people who identify as something other than gay or straight /because/ people tell us that we need to “choose” one gender. It’s a hard road. Especially at first. But it will get better. You will find people to surround yourself with who will support you no matter what.

      The road to loving yourself is also hard, and something a lot of us still struggle with. It’s important, I think, to remember that who you are is who you are. You are real, and so is your identity. I wanted this to be a wholly positive reply, but…sometimes, people DO leave. Sometimes, people we thought were our friends turn out to be…kinda big jerks. You get a mixed bag when it comes to people. And it’s rough. It’s really rough. I know. I’ve been there. Frequently. But remember that it’s not /you/. You didn’t /choose/ this for yourself. /They/ chose to be closed-minded. It still hurts. And it never really gets easier to deal with that sort of betrayal. And it’s okay to cry it out, and bundle under your covers, and be angry at the universe. But where those people leave your life, others will join. People will love you for who you are. People DO love you for who you are.

      This…got really ramble-y, and I’m so sorry. Ahaha. Your comment…kinda sparked up memories of dealing with these issues at that age. And I guess I’d always wanted someone to tell me what it was like, and how to cope, and that it got better. It does get better. I promise.

      I really hope you got something useful out of this, and I wish you luck if you decide to come out. I think you’re really brave for doing that, by the way. It takes LOADS of courage to open yourself up like that. Just remember that coming out is a very personal decision. Please don’t feel pressured into doing it from anyone. There are no written LGBTQIA+ rules that state when you have to or how you have to come out, or that you have to come out at all. You aren’t any less a member of our family if you choose not to do it.

      Wishing you happy holidays~

      -Ashe

  216. Roman says:

    So, I’m 19 and a gay and I’m from Russia (so I don’t know if my English is any good).

    I still opened only brother and best friend.They are treated better than I thought. But this is not “good”, between us as if there was, what sort of “barrier”.

    My parents are very strict and conservative. They are very religious and they honor the “sanctity of marriage”.(and never showed what can accept LGBT, just the opposite)I’m not sure that they are generally able to understand/adopt me.I have nothing now not sure.I do not feel the support and understanding. I am constantly searching for yourselfAnd I very lonely.

    I am afraid that very soon I will have to make a serious and painful step. And to make it one. I very scary, how many thoughts in my head. And from what they thought. About 13 years, I am very very much I think. About all. …it is tedious

    Just thank you for what you have, and what I can tell you this.
    thank you

    • Lily says:

      Roman I read your comment and it hurts me to know how much you are hurting. Iwish I could make everything okay. When you feel lonely remember that there is a family halfway across the world that cares about you and wants you to be happy more than anything else. please believe that.

  217. Emma Constance says:

    Hello, This is Emma Constance… I am a 22 year old Lesbian who just came out this year. This year has been one of the most difficult years of my life, in every way. and yet, it has been filled with so many unexpected blessings as well.

    I cannot tell you how much stumbling onto this site encouraged me. I have experienced hurt and rejection and betrayal from my blood family over the last few months once they caught wind of my sexuality but what has kept me going is knowing that there are so very many people in my life who are more than blood. they are the ones who picked me up, held me close, stood by my side, defended and protected me as my blood family tried to tear me apart. I am blessed to have people in my life that I consider to be my true family.

    Still, I teared up reading this site. it blessed me to see just how many people are willing to take the time to reach out and help someone else because they matter. thank you to everyone who contributes to this site. thank you for demonstrating so clearly, what true love and acceptance looks like.

    I jokingly say all the time that my own mother may want nothing to do with me, but I have a Momma Panel that has stepped into her place, filled her role and taken so much of the hurt and pain away. Reading this site did that a little more. This year, I will be spending Christmas with one of my Momma’s, the only one I always address as Momma, out of respect for her and her role in my life, but I want you all to know, how blessed I am to find that my Momma panel grew today when I read your letters. Thank you so much for your message, thank you so much for your heart, and thank you for demonstrating clearly what Christmas is really all about, unconditional love. This site more clearly reflects God’s heart for us than you guys may ever know.

    Thank you!

    Emma Constance

  218. Caroline says:

    Thank you guys so much for making this incredible site. Holidays have been rough ever since I came out (especially this past Thanksgiving), but reading your letters has helped me feel hope that maybe, one day, my parents will accept me how I am. You all are wonderful parents for not only loving your child unconditionally, but for allowing so many of us to feel that love too.

    I hope every one of you has a wonderful Christmas, and know how you have blessed so many of us this year. I may not be a kid anymore, but hearing your words is comforting for this 21-year-old college student who is currently dreading going home for the holidays.

    • Shamama says:

      Bless you Caroline! We soooo want you to feel that love. Holidays are far from picture perfect anywhere, no matter what they say, but we sure want to open our virtual arms and give you a big hug and welcome! So glad to have offered comfort! LOVE, Shamama

  219. Sara says:

    Hi, I’m Sara!
    I found the link to your site on Tumblr, and I think that what are you doing is really precious. I’m 27 years old. I suppose you can say I’m lesbian and I have a gf. During my adolescence I was deep burried in the closet. Now I don’t really care.
    I told my parents I prefer women above men, they don’t believe me, but they don’t make a fuss about it. I’m really lucky, in a way. Even though they believe it’s still just a phase!
    I’m lucky, really.
    Still I’m here. I’ve read what you’ve written here and you are really fantastic people. You are what every parent must be. You are so supportive to all those young people who maybe can’t even accept themselves.
    Thank you so much for all this love you are sharing with other people’s children!

    P.s: I’m sorry for my grammar mistakes. English is not my native language.

  220. Ashley says:

    This project is beautiful and I have a feeling before the holidays are over, I’ll be visiting a few more times (My mom is still trying to cope with my coming out as pansexual, with a huge preference to women, but at this point, I don’t think she even believes me since I’m marrying a man). I wanted to know if there’s any way I can give back? I have a business and one of our products is tiaras, and I was thinking of maybe offering free tiaras to little trans* girls (10 years old and under)? Like, ones that otherwise wouldn’t be allowed to have more “girly” toys, or ones with parents that maybe are afraid to bring them shopping because other people are terrible and mean? I don’t know, I just want to help… Christmas can suck sometimes and everyone should be able to feel like a princess…

    • Shamama says:

      Hello Ashley! So glad you found us! and we found you! Right now, we are only virtual, but there may be other places that would love that gift, it is a super sweet idea! Yes, everyone who wants to feel like a princess (or prince!) should have that… hugs to you! – Shamama

  221. Hermia says:

    This is a fantastic project. Thank you, all of you, who wrote those kind words. I am currently in a heterosexual relationship and very happy with my boyfriend but if I ever had a girlfriend I’m sure my parents would be…unaccepting. While they are not strictly homophobe they have told me all my life that they want grandkids one day and I’m terrified to disappoint them. When people on the news comment on anyone being bisexual they alway say things like “he/she should just pick the ‘right’ gender”. I don’t speak up because as I wrote above I am in a happy heterosexual relationship. Reading about all those who have it way worse than I makes me feel guilty as well, because obviously I’m stressing out about a hypothetical case and everything is mostly fine at the moment… But anyway. I will bookmark this page and definitely come back when I feel down. Thanks for making strangers feel loved through the internet. You have truly brightened my day.

  222. Shai says:

    This is a really great website. It’s a really bittersweet feeling to have all this support virtually but not in reality. Nonetheless my heart feels happy knowing there are other moms out there that do accept us for who we are. I’m 19 and I came out to my mom when I was 16. She’s a single mother and she’s given up her whole entire life to work and go to school and raise 5 of her children. I’m the oldest, her firstborn son. So when I told her she was devastated. She said how could I do this to her she felt betrayed, and she felt she failed as a mother by having a gay child. She said i’m sinning and going against what God has said. I’m a christian but i’m also a very open minded boy. I don’t think God made the mistake of making me who I am. I had no choice in the matter. But 3 years later she ignores it, if i bring it up it becomes a yelling match and she told me for as long as i live she’ll never accept me. But now I have a boyfriend who I love and i cannot tell her about because i’m 100% sure i’ll get kicked out for it. I have tickets to visit him in two weeks but my siblings made me feel like im lying to my mom and sneaking around doing something I shouldn’t so im stuck in a bad situation. My mom does everything for me but what I really want from her. Her acceptance. I want to live my life and be happy. But it’s hard when i’m trapped in a home where I cant be my true self. If i could get some love and advice it’d be appreciated.
    -Shai

    • Shamama says:

      Bless your heart, dear Shai… it is so very hard. Of course you want your mom’s acceptance. At least we can help this season… be true to you. Really, that’s all you can do! We send love across the miles. – Shamama

    • Leslie says:

      Dear Shai,

      As a mom, I just want to tell you something that you may not have heard often enough or ever. I’m proud of you. Love finds you and when it does, no matter what, you must hold on to it with both hands and never let it go. So, I am proud of you for loving someone and I am proud of you for being strong and I am most proud of you for continuing to live your life every single day. I know it’s hard to get up every morning and know people disapprove of you but you continue to do so which proves how strong you are. I can’t give you a real hug so please accept this cyber hug from a mom who is proud of who you are and who you will become.

  223. Leslie says:

    As the mother of a pansexual daughter (22) and a bi-sexual son (14), I can’t for the life of me imagine how any parent could turn away their child when that child simply wants to find the love and happiness that everyone else around them seems to have found as well. This is a beautiful site and the work you’re all doing here is amazing. I pray many children will find the peace and love they so need and deserve during the holidays and all year round. I send you all, children and moms, my love and support. Merry Christmas. <3

    • Shamama says:

      Bless you Mom Leslie… I am so glad for your support and your love… for your kids, and all kids. HUGS! From Shamama

  224. Eso says:

    As a social worker i have say that the idea of this site and this project is wonderful!
    I’m androgyne and i grew up in a strict christian but abusive family. My father thinks that gays have to be “healed” and we are simply “disgusting”.Despite what happened in the past i’d like to spend a lot of fun times with them but every family event for me is like “where can i run off to”.
    Thank you so much for offering a virtual home! Warm hugs to all of you, i was in tears reading these letters.

  225. Serika says:

    I was directed from Tumblr and as soon as I began to read these letters I began to cry, I feel so more safe here than anywhere else.Thank you so much for that.

    So, I’m 14 and a lesbian and I’m from Germany (so I don’t know if my English is any good).
    I came out to my dad, who accepted me but doesn’t gives me any support in this matter. Then, the shock came as I came out to my stepmother, she said I am “disgusting and not worthy”… Since then she mostly ignores me or just yells at me all the time.

    The only support I get is my girlfriend and my friends in school, who accepted me for who I was. Sure, sometimes they play pranks at me, but it’s just funny.

    So I’m excited for more of these heartwarming letters!
    Greetings from Germany, Serika

    • Maya says:

      Dear Serika,

      as a fellow German (bi) girl I just want to tell you that it gets better. I remember being 14 and it’s tough even without the additional stress of unaccepting parents. Find comfort in your partner and friends and if you ever need someone to talk to and your friends are not available call the German national help lines. Ich denke an dich. – Maya

  226. Abby says:

    I found this by-chance through a tumblr post. I came out to my parents in 2011 and my mother was heart-broken, disappointed, furious- the list of negative adjectives towards my sexuality goes on and on. In 2009, she had been diagnosed with very serious terminal cancer. I was basically cornered into telling my mother that I was a lesbian, then my entire family turned it around on me and repeatedly told me “You’re making your mom sicker by being gay,” “why couldn’t you have just lied and pretended to be straight,” and- by my own mother- “I hate this part of you.” It was horribly painful for me to feel that guilt of “making my mother sicker” and watching her deteriorate daily. I had always figured that since I spent my entire high school life taking care of her, missing school events, developing crippling depression and bipolar disorder, that she would have finally accepted me and loved all of me. That never happened though. I wish I could provide a happy ending and resolution in our relationship, and sometimes I fantasize about that, but she passed away in 2012, our differences never settled. When I found Your Holiday Mom, I started playing some of the recorded letters and was immediately brought to tears. I could finally feel a mother’s warmth, love, and acceptance and I cannot tell all of these incredible parents how much this project means to me. I am eternally grateful and I wish all of you and your families lifelong happiness. Thank you again.

    • Shamama says:

      Dearest Abby, I am so sorry that your mom could not love you the way you DESERVE to be loved. Giving so much of yourself, that is a huge pain and not easily healed. BUT we are here, we moms who love you, and you can return to these letters and let them heal as much of your heart as you can. This world needs you, all of you, just as you are… hugs from across cyber space my dear! -Shamama

  227. stormy says:

    This is extremely heart warming. It makes me so happy to see such caring mother’s out there! I think what you’re all doing is truly amazing and I wish you all have a safe and wonderful holiday ♡

  228. Auryn says:

    This is heartwarming. Like others that have posted I’m out as queer to my supportive mother, but not to my unsupportive father. Only one of my three siblings knows. Nobody in my family knows I’m genderqueer. As Christmas nears and I know that it’s gonna start getting rough, I’m thankful for this.
    To others that rely on this, know that it gets better. My friends know and accept my gender and sexuality. They’re loving and supportive, kind to a fault. It took me years to get to this point, but now I know that I’m okay, that I’m normal, that I’m loved. Here’s hoping you do, too.

  229. Adriana says:

    Hi! I found out about this website from tumblr and I just want to say that what y’all are doing is amazing. I know that many many many LGBTQ people are incredibly thankful for what y’all are doing. I’m bisexual, and I’ve come out at school but Im still terrified about what my parents will say. That being said, I am increadibly thankful and in aha of what y’all are doing.

    • Shamama says:

      Hi Adriana,
      It’s Lisa here, one of the support peeps here at Your Holiday Mom. I am super proud of you for coming out at school! And just know that all of us moms love and support you no matter what!
      xo

  230. Sage says:

    this makes me really happy bc ive been out to my mom for a long while now about my gender and now that i identify as male, hearing my birth name and pronouns over and over on the holidays will be rough. but im glad i have this to turn to.

    • Shamama says:

      Hi Sage,
      This is Lisa, and I help out around here at Your Holiday Mom. I am so glad that you were able to come out to your mom, but am sad that you are hearing your birth name and pronouns will be causing you sadness. Know that I am proud of you for coming out and that I am sending you love and a giant cyber hug during this holiday season, even as you are feeling frustration.. actually ESPECIALLY then! xoxox

  231. Davon says:

    Wow! This is such a good project!
    My mom accept me as I am, but my dad never did… I’m a genderqueer who love girls. He already hate me for loving girls and not boys, so it became worse with time.
    I pass half of my time to my dad’s house and it becomes harder everyday. I feel like your letters will help me feel loved, and I’m sure I won’t be the only one!

    -A teenager who support your project -x-o-x-

    • Shamama says:

      Hi Davon!
      I’m Lisa, and I have been the submissions lady over here at Your Holiday Mom. I am so sorry to hear about your Dad. This must be so difficult, but I am super proud of you for coming out as who you truly are. And we love to have your support too!
      Sending you love and support during the holidays and always!
      Lisa
      <3

  232. Vivian says:

    Thank you so much for this. What you’re doing is truly wonderful. I’m not great with all of this, but I just want to say that, from someone whose parents could never accept their pansexuality, this really means a lot. Even though I may be in the closet with them forever, knowing that you guys are out there and are so supportive makes me feel a bit better <3

    • Shamama says:

      Hi Vivian,
      I am Lisa and I am the submissions gal over here at Your Holiday Mom, but I also happen to be a mother and firstly want you to know I am sending you a HUGE HUG, can you feel it? I am sorry you are feeling like you have to hide who you really are, nobody should have to feel like they need to do that. You are a beautiful human being, perfect just as you are.

      xoxo
      Lisa

  233. Allison says:

    Is there a way to participate, maybe next year? I’m only a dog mom now, but we’re expecting our first child in March, so I’ll be a legit human mom next Christmas! For diversity’s sake, my family is some sort of agnostic Buddhist. My best friend is trans* and he’s basically my brother at this point, so I would just love the opportunity to be able to write a letter to all of the LGBTQ people out there who needs some love during the holiday season!

    • Shamama says:

      Hi Allison! We have many women who have written in as “moms” that do not have any children of their very own. AND we still have some spots available! If you would like to submit a letter, just email Lisa at [email protected] and she can send you the guidelines. We would love to have you!

  234. Charlie says:

    This is awesome. I’m Vice President of the GSA club at my high school, and I know I’m definitely going to be sharing this website with the club in our meeting tomorrow. I’m qui/polyromantic, greysexual, trnasmasculine, and genderqueer. While I know my parents try to be accepting, they cannot bring themselves to try to understand, and can come off very harshly when we try to talk about it. I’m glad for this website, as it makes me feel a little better that there are people who simply put don’t care and know that no matter what I am still me.

    • Shamama says:

      I am so glad you are being YOU Charlie… Thanks so much for sharing, we want EVERY LGBTQ (and any other letters!) to be loved… I’m sorry your family does not see your full wonderfulness… yet. I for one am glad you are you! – Shamama

  235. jeremy says:

    These parents who support and everything, it truly makes me feel at home. A home I always wanted to be in. This made me cry and feel love I’m glad I found this site on tumblr, thank you all.

  236. Echo says:

    I would just like to thank each and every one of you with letters written on this site. I’m the president of the first Gay Straight Alliance at my high school, as well as a genderqueer pansexual struggling with my family’s lack of support. I will be avidly sharing this with my community and friends, thank you for being so giving, loving and amazing. Absolutely brilliant!

    • Shamama says:

      We are so glad to know you are out there doing great things Echo! And thank you for sharing, our hearts are full and we want holiday “kids” reading so you all can feel our love. Bless you! – Shamama

  237. Daine says:

    It is 3:30am at the time of writing this; a wonderful time to be writing a comment when provoked by something so emotionally charged, but I feel like what this site does, what you and all of your gracious, heartfelt Holiday Moms have done deserves at least this small note of recognition, some tiny fraction of how utterly grateful I am to you all for what you’ve done and continue to do.

    Having been a child who came out to her parents as gay at the ripe age of 12, I was so lucky to have the full support of my father, and eventual acceptance of my mother as well. Whilst my future and any partners that may come at never set in stone, to see the absolute dedication to showing love and support to those less fortunate than I have been has brought me to tears over and over again as I have read through each and every entry, simply incapable of leaving without seeing the stories and messages of encouragement that make this site so utterly amazing.

    Thank you. Thank you for being here. Thank you for what you do, and continue to do. I have never seen a site more worthwhile than this.

  238. Sorrel/Clover says:

    Hey..
    I just wanted to say thank you for having this website
    thank you so much
    just knowing that there are parents out there who love and support the people in the MOGAI/LGBTQ++ community makes me feel so happy!
    I’m non binary (I identify as Gendercute and Cryptic gender) and I really have no clue what my sexuality is HO WOOPS
    my own parents do not understand anything I try to tell them, and react in anger.
    My mother tells me my gender is a lie, and that I am just trying to be trendy and be a cool girl
    reading these made me cry
    they make me so happy
    I cannot describe the emotions and colors that go through my head when I see the support
    I had no idea this even existed
    thank you for making me feel human

  239. Michael says:

    Hey, my name’s Michael and I’m a trans boy, and I want to thank you so much for doing this. Coming from someone who’s mom isn’t the most supportive at times, this has really helped when I’m feeling especially down about who and what I am. All people deserve loving parents and it’s nice for those who don’t have them to hear something nice.
    That being said, is it possible that you guys could maybe do one for birthdays? My birthday has been historically terrible and it’s the day when I feel most alone, and I get the feeling there are others out there who feel the same. If you made a birthday one, I would listen to it every year.
    You guys are amazing and seriously have made me cry.
    Keep doing what you’re doing. <3
    -Michael W

    • Shamama says:

      I am so glad we found each other Michael! I send you a birthday wish from right here, today, to whenever your birthday is! Love, Shamama

  240. Hannah Minger says:

    Dear Ms. Shamama,

    I’m putting together a website to provide resources (like advice, coming out stories, other websites/blogs, etc.) and I’d like to include yours. If you object to that, please email me.

    Thank you.
    Hannah Minger

  241. Elle says:

    Hi!
    I just heard about this site through a tumblr post that was circulating around and just wanted to say that this idea is absolutely lovely and you people are wonderful for coming up with something this beautiful. My own mother never calls me or asks me how I’m doing and even refuses to help me with my living expenses. It makes me happy to see there are people who want to make a difference and help out people who really could use the support.
    Keep up the good work and may this project have the best of luck with it at all times!

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