Your Holiday Mom: Mama Suri

Merry Christmas and welcome!  We have been looking forward to having you with us.  Let me take your coat.  My husband is in the kitchen with our son, please come join us, we’re putting the final touches on the ham.  Don’t mind the dogs, they will calm down after they are done thoroughly sniffing you.  Shih-tzus never have a bad day, but no matter what they tell you, they are not starving!

My husband has a new edition to the Christmas train, he’ll be more than happy to show you the whole collection before dinner (and give you more train information than you’ve ever wanted).  Where are my manners, would you like something to drink?  I’m just so excited you’re here.  We have tea, soda, beer, and wine.  Hot chocolate, too, if you would prefer.  I spent all morning baking cookies, help yourself.  Yes, the gingerbread is soft, I don’t like crunchy cookies.  It’s not Christmas unless I hear Mariah Carey telling us what she wants for the holiday, but feel free to change the CD if you’d like.

I may have gone a little overboard on the gifts, and I’m not sorry.  We’ll open them after we eat.  Oh, my sister and her family are here!  It’s about to get loud, but not as loud as it will be when my mom, oh, look, here she is, too!  It’s so nice to have the family together.  I wish you could have met my dad but he’s our angel now.  Yeah, we are a family of hugs and kisses so get used to that.

Dinner is ready, let’s eat!  My husband may tease me about the amount of food I’ve made, but he’ll be the one who eats most of it.  Dig in, make sure to get some of the mashed sweet potatoes with the regular kind, I like to mix them together.  This ham is cooked perfectly!  I know it’s confusing to keep all the people straight when we start telling stories, but there won’t be a quiz after.  And yes, I did get kicked out of Hobby Lobby once because of Christmas…

Help me clear the table and we’ll all go into the living room and open presents.  I hope you like what we got you.  Oh no, you didn’t need to bring presents, your presence is a present, ha!  Be sure to save your paper, too, for the wrapping paper fight after.  We need someone to take my son down, he’s won three years in a row.  Don’t let that cheeky smile fool you, he’s ruthless.

Let’s see where A Christmas Story is on its 24-hour rotation.  We watch it at least once, I swear, we could probably recite the whole movie word-for-word.  The niece and nephew want to bring out the board games.  I must warn you, we can get pretty cut-throat when it comes to playing Spoons and no matter how much he begs, do not play Uno with my sister’s husband.  He cheats.  We take our games very seriously; I hope you’re up to speed on your smack talk.

Ah, it’s late and the day is nearly over.  Come with me, my child, out here in the snow.  There is something I want to share with you.  This private moment is the part of Christmas I like best.  The gifts have been opened, the stomachs are full, and the memories have been made.  Months of anticipation and planning have come to fruition, all that’s left is wine and wrapping paper.  Look up.  Now it’s just us and the stars.  I like to look into the sky and think of all the places I’ve spent Christmas.   There have been a lot, my dad was in the military, we moved constantly.

I have to tell you, getting to where I am today has not been an easy journey.  There have been so many people determined to see me fail, and at times I did.  I’ll be honest, there are times I just wanted to check out.  But the hope of tomorrow has always kept me grounded.  Tonight, I like to think about all the good things that have happened.  This year I am thankful for you, my precious child.

So look up.  Feel the cold wind on your face, the warmth of my arms around you.  The Christmas lights from our neighbor’s house have colored the snow.  Music and laughter can be heard in the distance and from inside.  Everyone who matters to me is happily under my roof, that includes you.  Tonight, there is nothing but laughter and love.  Tonight there is peace.  This is the magic of Christmas to me.

Ok, I can see your shivering, let’s get you inside.  More hugs and kisses as the family leaves.  One more glass of wine and then it’s bedtime for me.  I’ve made up the guest room down the hall, there are fresh towels in the bathroom.  Close your bedroom door or you’ll be sleeping with dogs before you know it.  It’s first come, first serve on the leftovers in the morning.  Please make yourself at home.  I’m so glad you are with us.  With a hug and a kiss on the cheek, I wish you good night.

15 comments

  1. Grace says:

    Reading threw this I cried Iv moved about every 2 years, changing schools and leaving friends.. iv had 2 identity crises and struggled with connecting to people because of this…my mom tries to reject the fact that Iv loved a girl more than I had any boy and reading how accepting and warm this was..thank you

    • Auntie Ku says:

      Hey Grace!

      It sounds like you’re having a really tough time at the moment, I’m sorry it’s such a struggle for you!

      I’ve moved house a lot too – 16 times in 24 years but you know? I think it has made me really good at making a space I can call ‘Home’ in other places, in finding that sense of belonging in my own self and it sounds like maybe that’s what you’re doing at the moment – finding out who you are. I think that’s really cool and brave of you to be honest, not many people are so self aware!

      My first love was with a girl too and she meant a lot to me so I can imagine how she must have made you feel connected and special despite your struggles with your identity! I’m sorry it didn’t work out with you both, just remember that your feelings don’t need anyone else to validate them. Maybe other people don’t understand but we know what we feel ❤️

      I just wanted you to know that I’m thinking of you and wishing you well in your journey!

      Sending lots of warm holiday hugs,

      • Mama Suri says:

        Grace,
        I’m so sorry I wasn’t able to answer right away, we’ve had a bit of a family emergency but everything is fine now. I, too, grew up in the military and had a really hard time making friends. Why bother when I’d be leaving them in 2 years, you know? My sister would go to school that first day and come back with 20 phone numbers. I was a shy kid who didn’t like to talk a whole lot. It was difficult. I never mastered how to do it in school.

        As an adult I find it is still hard to make friends. I’m not outgoing. But I can say it got a lot easier when I wasn’t forced to be around people I would have never hung out with in the first place. Once I could choose my circle it was easier to make friends.

        As for your heart, ah child. Never let anyone who doesn’t understand your choices have influence over them. It’s perfectly ok to be who you are. It’s also ok to be that person even if your mother doesn’t agree. My mother and I are not always close. I didn’t fit into the box she made for me and for many years she had issues with that. Now that I’ve accepted who I am, she has, too. Because I am happy.

        It hurts when those who are closest to us can’t accept us. Just know this, Grace, you are not alone. You are perfectly wonderful and I’m so glad you’re here. I am thinking of you and giving you as many virtual hugs as you can handle, as well as all my love.

  2. Cecil says:

    Right now I’m leaving a tough moment with my family (because I told them that I am trans) and this letters made my day.
    It’s nice to remember that not everything is arguing and screaming.

    • Shannon (she/her) says:

      Cecil, I’m so sorry you are dealing with this noise. In my holiday home, you are cherished for who you are. We are so proud of your bravery and self-awareness, and we love you for who you are. <3

    • Mama Suri says:

      No arguing here! I’m so glad you can be who you are. I hope your family will work through this with you and come to understand you are still the same awesome person you’ve always been. Lot’s of hugs for you!!!

  3. Maddy says:

    Thank you, mama Suri! This is one of the best letters I have ever read, it even made me tear up a little! Happy holidays!

  4. Sam says:

    I absolutely love dogs so being welcomed by yours would be a dream come true for me! Oh my gosh a Christmas train!!!! That sounds so cool and I would definitely want to listen to what your husband has to share about it ;DDD Being a huge fan of board games, I really wish I could play with you and the rest of your wonderful family. (I would do my level best to take all of you down heh heh) Thank you Mama Suri for the letter and the private moment. I’m glad you’re here with me.

  5. Jessica D. says:

    It sounds so lovely to be spending Christmas with you. I haven’t been having the greatest time lately, things have been going on and it makes me feel happy to know that I can come here and for a few moments while reading this, have a sort-of, safe place I guess. 🙂

    • Mama Suri says:

      Our home is always a safe place, dear, and you are always welcome! I’m not going to lie, things are rough out there in the world today. But with change there is always chaos before the calm. I’m thinking about you and hoping for nothing but the best for you.

    • Nicole says:

      Jessica, I just stumbled on this site myself–as a mom, wondering how I can help out. I’m so glad you found some comfort here. Know you are loved and you are enough. There are so many friends out there, waiting to meet you. I hope you find more safe places and that you have a wonderful Christmas and a very happy new year.

    • Celeste says:

      Hi, Jessica- Us moms are here because we want to see *you* – through the mess of life as well as the good – and we will be here through the stuff you have going on. It will get better. Sending hugs and love.

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