Your Holiday Mom: Mama Kat


Welcome to our household for the holidays! In our house, we celebrate Yule and a secular Christmas. It all starts on Yule (around December 21st each year). We have a special dinner: usually soup, rolls, and a small dessert. Then we each open a present together next to the fireplace. The younger kids go to bed an hour late, getting extra snuggles and stories before bedtime. The older kids get to stay up until midnight. We play board games, and watch movies. After midnight, we brew a pot of coffee and settle in for some quiet reflection and together time. Sometimes we watch movies, or listen to music. I say prayers for friends and family, and some for everyone who is in need. At dawn, we cheer for the sunlight’s return, and then head to bed for as much sleep as we can before the little ones wake up!

On Christmas Eve, the whole family gets together. Poppa comes over and reads ‘Twas the Night Before Christmas to the kids. Each kid opens a present which contains: a brand new pair of warm pajamas and a new book. We tuck them in, and let them stay up for an hour reading their new book. Then the grown ups hang up all the stockings, and fill them up to the very top. All gifts in the stockings are anonymous, so that’s the place we love to put your favorite snacks, little things you need, and special items you’ve been asking for all year. All the rest of the presents go under the tree, and then my brother carefully rearranges them so no present gets smooshed by another.

In the morning, the first thing we do is hug and open our stockings. Then we sit down and have a full breakfast together: eggs made to order, bacon, sausage, grapefruits, and fresh juice. Then, one present at a time, we open them together. Every person gets center stage while they open their gifts, because seeing them love their gift is the best part. At dinnertime (we have a big family, so it takes a long time to open everything!) we sit down together and eat a special meal. We usually make a big roast, and have lots of veggies and rolls, too.

I very much wish you could be here with us this year. Please know that, in our hearts, you are. Please join us in front of the fireplace this year, seeing everyone’s joy at being together, eating tasty food, and opening presents.

So much love to you,
Mama Kat


  1. Rory B says:

    hello! my name is Rory, i’m trans female to male and pansexual. My parents are very unaccepting and i’ve been kicked out of my house. I live with my boyfriend now, and i’m very thankful he’s here for me. It’s not the same as being with my family for the holidays though. This year has been very tough. I’m trying my best to get through, but it’s very difficult.

    • Auntie Yvonne says:

      I am so glad you found us here! One step at a time is the way to get through anything. Some of my most trying memories are the ones that helped me change the most. You are becoming who you were meant to be.

    • Bethany S. says:

      It will get better I promise! Just know that you are never alone and there will always be someone to talk to. You are 100% loved And you are valid. Never doubt that and never question your worth because of what others’ opinions are.

  2. Ash says:

    Thank you for being so supportive! You have no idea what it means to me to get your letters!
    Happy holidays!

  3. theo says:

    this is a rough year for me. i just came out as trans nonbinary to my family in late summer, and they’ve been largely unaccepting. i feel more unwelcome at my house this holiday season than ever. reading these every morning feels like the sort of warm hug that i need and that i’m missing this year, i cannot thank you all enough for what you’re doing with this it means so much to know we have moms and families to support us even when our own families don’t.

    • Auntie Hay says:

      Wrapping you up tight in whe warmest hug I can muster!
      So glad you’re here to add to all the love
      Auntie Hay

    • Shannon (she/her) says:

      Theo, I am proud of you for your bravery and self awareness. Coming out as trans isn’t easy, and being enby is another twist that some folks just need time to wrap their heads around. I hope your family comes around, but in the meantime, pull up a chair and sit with us, your holiday family of the heart.<3

  4. grace says:

    That sounds so lovely, I wish more than anything that I could experience a holiday like that. Thank you for telling me about it.

    • Your Holiday Ciocia says:

      Hi grace,

      We are all with you in our hearts, I wish the best for you and hope you have some peace this season, even if only for a few moments. Sending more virtual hugs your way.

    • Mama Kat says:

      Thank you for joining us in it. 🙂

      I am so glad, every year, that this site brings us all together.

  5. Parkee says:

    thank you so much for this. i’ve had a rough day and seeing this just made me cry happy tears. thank you.

  6. Charlie says:

    Thank you to all of the wonderful souls that run this blog. The holidays have been hard for me for a long time, and knowing people like you are out here, who’ve never even met me but still accept me as I am, makes everything so much better. I love you all. Have a wonderful holiday season.

    • Mama Kat says:

      Happy holidays, Charlie. I’m so glad these letters help you feel accepted. There is a whole world of people out here who care.

    • Aunt Sis says:


      There is so much love for you here and in the world. I hope you find it in person soon. Until then visit us here.

      Many hugs.
      Aunt Sis

    • Letter Mama Yvonne says:

      So glad you found us! Check out our How to Help page for information about helping.

  7. Sara says:

    Mama Kat:

    thank you so much I feel like I am with you , I feel your love,warmth and support I truly wish I was with you, it sounds like an amazing Christmas… God bless you, your family and all; your friends. the hugs and time you spend together sounds wonderful



    • Mama Kat says:

      Thank you, Sara! I’m so very glad you can feel the love! Being able to share that joy and connectedness means so much.

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