Happy Holidays: Momma Wen

To My Dear Holiday Child,

There is always room in my heart and home for you.

As a child, I would help my grandmother set the holiday table, and there was always one more place setting than the number of people expected to come. I once asked my grandmother why we did this, and she told me a story:

“Your great-great grandfather ran the stagecoach from the city through the hill towns all year round. Great-Great Grandmother ran a boarding house for travelers and roomers. During the holidays, some people traveled long ways to get to their families, but sometimes, the weather was so bad they would have to stay at the rooming house on a holiday instead of being with their families. Your grandmother would always welcome them as they came through the door like they were a part of our family. She would spend the winter before spinning yarn and knitting mittens, socks, and scarfs. Always making extra in different sizes so if anyone was without their family and gifts, they would have a gift under the tree on Christmas morning just like the rest of the family. As a tradition, now we too always have an extra place setting at our holiday table, and I do the extra gifts, just in case… for that special person we may be blessed to share our holiday with.” 

Now I also add an extra place setting and make something a little extra for that special guest who may be invited because there is no one else for them to share their holidays with or just because they have shown up. This special person is you this year, my sweet Adopted Child. It matters not to me your age, sex, race, color, sexual preference or gender orientation. You are loved, and will be welcomed just like family into my home, at my table. We’ll share laughter, stories, good food and exchange special gifts from my heart to yours.

I’m not one to have much to say but it’s important to tell you that you are welcomed, loved, honored, and cherished by me as a part of my family. If you need to chat privately, as my children have done throughout the years, the best time to catch me is in the kitchen preparing the meal. You will surely be given a task to help as we talk, and the rest of the family knows it’s your time with me and will respect our little chat. I’ll share lots of hugs as needed and you may even have flour on you when I’m done, but we’ll clean it up just as I have in the past.

I’m proud of you for all the courage you have for being who you truly are despite the challenges you have faced. It’s an honor to be your Adopted Mom this holiday season and call you my child. By the way, I even call my 39-year-old my child, so that’s just how it is.

Blessings to your continued courage and strength now and throughout your life as you find that special partner and build holiday traditions of your own. I know you are here to change the world in a good way, and I stand by you as you and others just like you do just that!

Much love and big hugs to you sweet child,

Momma Wen


  1. Kethry says:

    Please don’t advertise on this comment thread. This is for LGBTQ+ people in need of a little extra love and support this holiday season.

  2. Anna says:

    Momma Wen, this is so beautiful and the imagery is so wonderful. I love to help out with cooking and baking and I would definitely join you there as I used to join my own mother. But now, instead of fights about religion and tears over how happy my life with my partner is, I would share my joy with you. I would probably get a little shaky and sad while I tried to tell the story of how I lost my family, but I would laugh and blush while I describe how my partner brings out my romantic side. I would share my stories of rejection but I would also share the story of how my friends from Romania, Bulgaria, Macedonia, Germany, Algeria, Kenya, Iran, Syria, and many more diverse countries accepted who I am and took care of me during dark times. And finally, I’d talk your ear off about physics, because that is my passion. I would probably make a mess with the flour. I’m clumsy in the kitchen, but a little mess never hurt anyone, right?

    Thank you so much for giving me this daydream to think about. I wish I could be there, but I will be there in my mind.

    • Jackie says:


      I love to read your comments and am starting to feel like I ‘know’ you a bit! Reading this note especially made it easy to imagine you here in my kitchen or with Mama Wen baking and really ‘stirring things up’ with your sparkly little self! Thank you for letting US see YOU! Xoxo

      • Anna says:

        Haha you are most welcome. I can be a little sparkly sometimes. I am glad you enjoyed reading. =)

    • Wendy Weatherwax says:

      We could surely make that kitchen messy together. Honestly the mess is half the fun during the Holidays. It’s so wonderful to get to know you, some of your stories and your warmth.
      Blessings Sweet Anna. I will hold you in my heart.
      Momma Wen

      • Anna says:

        My first cooking memory was when I was 3 or so. My mom had pulled a chair up to the counter for me to stand on so I could help make my own birthday cake. She tried to show me how to crack open an egg. I guess I squeezed it and it EXPLODED all over me and the rest of the kitchen. I was taken out of the kitchen for a change and wash and my mom finished the cake by herself, haha!

        • Wendy Weatherwax says:

          lol I love that story, Anna. I guess messy just wasn’t part of the birthday cake bake. 🙂

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